30 years from now someone is going o look on the Internet, in their brain, to see who was the number 1 best selling author of this week of 2011. They will punch in their search terms into the search engine Poop and Google and find that Brad Meltzer's book, The Inner Circle, will be listed # 1 on the New York Times best sellers list for the weeks of Jan 30th 2011.
That person doing the search will be looking for history. History is what Brad's new book is all about. The history of President George Washington's secret spy ring which was called the Culper Ring. That person doing the search 30 years from now will discover that President Obama's Culper Ring delayed President Obama in his giving the State of the Union Address until about 9:15 ish because Brad Meltzer was signing books at the Philadelphia Free Public Library. Obama's people at that time knew it was due to the fact that William from Poop and Boogies gave The inner Circle a great review just a week or so earlier which would catapult Brad Meltzer's book to hit #1 on the New York Times best sellers list that week that he should delay his speech just a few minutes. Obama wanted me to hear his speech so that maybe Poop and Boogies would write a review about the State of the Union address.
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I went to the Philadelphia Library last night to stalk Brad Meltzer. He spoke for almost an hour about the book, some of his comic book writings and his show Decoded. Decoded is a show about decoding secret societies and government secrets. Brad is a very funny speaker. The event felt like a comedy routine about nerdy stuff like comic books and secret societies. I even had a chance to talk to Brad and he told me he enjoys my blog which is always nice to hear.
When I got home my wife asked me if I had a good time. I told her I had a blast. Not only was Brad funny but I got to people watch as well.
I said, "You know when a guy who writes comics, writes novels about Masons and secret codes and he has a show about decoding possible hidden societies in the government, makes an appearance, the freaks are going to come out of the wood work. And they did."
Lauren replied, "You know you're one of them. And I am sure those people are saying the same thing about you."
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
Interpretation
"Hi. I was going to use the left over turkey breast to make a pot pie for dinner. But I still need something to feed the kids since they won't touch pot pie. Can you pick up a pizza on the way home?"
"Sure."
"Great. I am going to go to the gym when you get home. You can feed the kids and then we can eat together when I get back."
"Okay. See you then."
Would you interpret this that there will be pot pie when you get home? What if pot pie is like your favorite meal ever? Wouldn't you get home and expect there to be a freshly baked turkey pot pie?
"Sure."
"Great. I am going to go to the gym when you get home. You can feed the kids and then we can eat together when I get back."
"Okay. See you then."
Would you interpret this that there will be pot pie when you get home? What if pot pie is like your favorite meal ever? Wouldn't you get home and expect there to be a freshly baked turkey pot pie?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Grounded
I lifted my head off the floor of the car. I could not remember how I ended up laying on the floor in the back seat. My head was buzzing and my ears were muffled. No. My head was muffled and my ears were buzzing. I could hear crying and yelling. I smelled steaming antifreeze. I looked out the backseat window and saw my brother John limping around a driveway. He was holding his elbow. Whose driveway was that?(1.) Where were we?
I followed the sound of the crying. My sister was sitting on the curb. There was a crowd of people around her. She was leaning over, her head between her knees. She was spitting blood. She was spitting out teeth. Oh right. My sister was taking me, John and Bob out for ice cream. She wanted to drive by some guy’s house first. We made a u-turn, were in a car accident. Wait. Bob was with us. Where is Bob? I don’t see him. Did he die? (2.) He must have died if I can’t see him. If Bob is dead we are going to get grounded.
I lifted my head off the dark blue vinyl seats of the car. I could not remember how I ended up laying down in the back seat of a police car. I reached my hand up to my forehead to see if I could discover the source of the pain I was feeling. I felt bits of broken glass littering my hair. An officer asked me to look into his flashlight. I did. There was no light. He smacked the side of the flashlight, still no light. He borrowed another officer’s flashlight. That also did not work. They both needed batteries. One of the officers took out a first aid kit. He blew dust off the top, cleared cobwebs away from the latches. As he fumbled to open it I looked out the window through the metal cage separating the front and back seats. I saw the car we were in smashed against a telephone pole. I still could not see Bob. I could still see John and I could still see my sister. There was a hole in her chin. (3.) She was still spitting blood and teeth. A paramedic was with her. The officer told me not to look at her. I wonder if they are arresting me. If they do I am going to get grounded. The flashing red lights of the approaching ambulance blinded me. I closed my eyes.
I lifted my head off the tan vinyl bench-seat in the back of the ambulance. I could not move my arms or legs. They were encased in inflatable casts. My sister was laying down in the gurney with bloody towels covering her face. Where was John, in another ambulance? Maybe. The medic asked me questions about my sister since she could not speak. What was her name? Sharon. How old was she? 17. What was her date of birth? I don’t know. You don’t know your sisters birthday? No. Why not? I just don’t. How old are you? 12. When is your date of birth? March 9th. March 9th of what year? Not mine, hers. Her birthday is March 9th. Of what year? I don’t know. She is 17. Do the math. Try to stay awake you may have a concussion? I want to take a nap now. We think you may be in shock. Please don’t shock me.
I opened my eyes when the cold wind hit me in the face. They were wheeling me into the hospital. I could taste blood in my mouth. My mom stood out front of the ER doors. She was crying but smiling. How did she beat us to the hospital? Why was she crying? (4.) I think we may be in trouble. I hope we don’t get grounded. I tell the doctor my chest hurts and he tries to unzip my Oakland Raiders sweatshirt but the zipper is broken. He cuts my favorite sweatshirt off with a large pair of scissors. I am definitely going to get grounded. (5.) Using a pair of tweezers a nurse picks specks of glass out of my scalp. She washes my hair and I watch white suds turned pink by blood wash down the drain. I start to cry. She tells me everyone is okay.
That night my mom wakes me every two hours, per the doctor’s instructions, to ask me questions to test my mental state. Some questions are easy like my name and birthday. Some questions are more difficult. What is your grandmother’s first name? I don’t know. I don’t call her by her first name. What is the phone number of 125 Primrose? It takes me a minute but I get it. My mom then asks me to tell her how old she is. I am so going to get grounded.
(1.) John was sitting in the front passenger seat. His elbow went through the glove box. He had to tear it out of the dash board to get out of the car to go get help. He knocked on the door of the first house he came to. “We need help!” he said to old man who answered the door. The old man replied, “I am sorry I cannot help you. I am blind.” John went to the next house for help. John ended up with 60 plus stitches in his elbow.
(2.) Bob was sitting in the back passenger side. He saw we were about to crash and braced for impact. He sprained both his ankles and I think he had stress fractures in both shins. When he got out of the car with John, he could not walk and fell to the ground. He was lying below my line of vision.
(3.) My sister’s chin hit the steering wheel, her head hit the windshield. She opened her face from below her lip all the way through to her tongue. I think she lost all of her bottom teeth. She had to have numerous operations and plastic surgery.
(4.) We only lived a mile from the ER. Someone called my mom to tell her we were on the way. She beat us there and waited by the entrance for the ambulances to arrive. When they pulled Bob out of the ambulance on the gurney the wind caught the blanket that was on top of Bob and it blew up and covered his face. My mom only saw them wheeling in a covered body and thought that Bob was dead. She started to cry. Bob then said hello from under the blanket. I was wheeled in right after that.
(5.) I was sitting in the back driver side. When we made impact my chest smashed into the back of her seat and I flew over my sister’s head I hit the windshield. I had bruised ribs, minors cuts in my mouth and on my head and I had a concussion. The car accident happened 28 years ago this week.
I followed the sound of the crying. My sister was sitting on the curb. There was a crowd of people around her. She was leaning over, her head between her knees. She was spitting blood. She was spitting out teeth. Oh right. My sister was taking me, John and Bob out for ice cream. She wanted to drive by some guy’s house first. We made a u-turn, were in a car accident. Wait. Bob was with us. Where is Bob? I don’t see him. Did he die? (2.) He must have died if I can’t see him. If Bob is dead we are going to get grounded.
I lifted my head off the dark blue vinyl seats of the car. I could not remember how I ended up laying down in the back seat of a police car. I reached my hand up to my forehead to see if I could discover the source of the pain I was feeling. I felt bits of broken glass littering my hair. An officer asked me to look into his flashlight. I did. There was no light. He smacked the side of the flashlight, still no light. He borrowed another officer’s flashlight. That also did not work. They both needed batteries. One of the officers took out a first aid kit. He blew dust off the top, cleared cobwebs away from the latches. As he fumbled to open it I looked out the window through the metal cage separating the front and back seats. I saw the car we were in smashed against a telephone pole. I still could not see Bob. I could still see John and I could still see my sister. There was a hole in her chin. (3.) She was still spitting blood and teeth. A paramedic was with her. The officer told me not to look at her. I wonder if they are arresting me. If they do I am going to get grounded. The flashing red lights of the approaching ambulance blinded me. I closed my eyes.
I lifted my head off the tan vinyl bench-seat in the back of the ambulance. I could not move my arms or legs. They were encased in inflatable casts. My sister was laying down in the gurney with bloody towels covering her face. Where was John, in another ambulance? Maybe. The medic asked me questions about my sister since she could not speak. What was her name? Sharon. How old was she? 17. What was her date of birth? I don’t know. You don’t know your sisters birthday? No. Why not? I just don’t. How old are you? 12. When is your date of birth? March 9th. March 9th of what year? Not mine, hers. Her birthday is March 9th. Of what year? I don’t know. She is 17. Do the math. Try to stay awake you may have a concussion? I want to take a nap now. We think you may be in shock. Please don’t shock me.
I opened my eyes when the cold wind hit me in the face. They were wheeling me into the hospital. I could taste blood in my mouth. My mom stood out front of the ER doors. She was crying but smiling. How did she beat us to the hospital? Why was she crying? (4.) I think we may be in trouble. I hope we don’t get grounded. I tell the doctor my chest hurts and he tries to unzip my Oakland Raiders sweatshirt but the zipper is broken. He cuts my favorite sweatshirt off with a large pair of scissors. I am definitely going to get grounded. (5.) Using a pair of tweezers a nurse picks specks of glass out of my scalp. She washes my hair and I watch white suds turned pink by blood wash down the drain. I start to cry. She tells me everyone is okay.
That night my mom wakes me every two hours, per the doctor’s instructions, to ask me questions to test my mental state. Some questions are easy like my name and birthday. Some questions are more difficult. What is your grandmother’s first name? I don’t know. I don’t call her by her first name. What is the phone number of 125 Primrose? It takes me a minute but I get it. My mom then asks me to tell her how old she is. I am so going to get grounded.
(1.) John was sitting in the front passenger seat. His elbow went through the glove box. He had to tear it out of the dash board to get out of the car to go get help. He knocked on the door of the first house he came to. “We need help!” he said to old man who answered the door. The old man replied, “I am sorry I cannot help you. I am blind.” John went to the next house for help. John ended up with 60 plus stitches in his elbow.
(2.) Bob was sitting in the back passenger side. He saw we were about to crash and braced for impact. He sprained both his ankles and I think he had stress fractures in both shins. When he got out of the car with John, he could not walk and fell to the ground. He was lying below my line of vision.
(3.) My sister’s chin hit the steering wheel, her head hit the windshield. She opened her face from below her lip all the way through to her tongue. I think she lost all of her bottom teeth. She had to have numerous operations and plastic surgery.
(4.) We only lived a mile from the ER. Someone called my mom to tell her we were on the way. She beat us there and waited by the entrance for the ambulances to arrive. When they pulled Bob out of the ambulance on the gurney the wind caught the blanket that was on top of Bob and it blew up and covered his face. My mom only saw them wheeling in a covered body and thought that Bob was dead. She started to cry. Bob then said hello from under the blanket. I was wheeled in right after that.
(5.) I was sitting in the back driver side. When we made impact my chest smashed into the back of her seat and I flew over my sister’s head I hit the windshield. I had bruised ribs, minors cuts in my mouth and on my head and I had a concussion. The car accident happened 28 years ago this week.
Monday, January 17, 2011
Frost Bits
"Touch it." I said.
"I am not touching that." Lauren said. She knows my tricks and she thought I was trying to, well, get her to touch it. The last time she fell for this trick we ended up with our third boy. And now, after having three boys there is not much time or desire to be touching anything.
"Seriously Lauren, I am not trying any games I need you to touch it. I think it is has frostbite."
Lauren looked down. I was stretching my waistband out so she could get a better look.
"Oh my God!" She said startled. "It is bright red. Are you okay?"
I winced. I was not okay. I was in serious pain. I looked down. I was shocked of how much of it was shrinking up into my belly. Everything they say about shrinkage is true. I reached my hand down and tried to make sure everything was intact. As soon as my fingers touched the tip, the fire helmet, I could feel it all burn. My lower abdomen ached, as did my groin.
"What happened?" Lauren asked.
"I think my pecker is frozen."
I explained how I decided to go for a long run, after all it was early Saturday morning and the sun was coming up. Part of the Half-marathon training program I am trying is to do one long run a week. This was my first true long run. I always wear spandex-moisture wicking pants under a loose fitting, breathable, mesh sweatpants. The rest of my running outfit is various layers depending on the temperature. It was in the low to mid twenties so I bundled up on top wearing new tight fitting vest and running shirts as opposed to the multi-layers of long t-shirts I usually wear.
When I run, I just run away from my house until I feel the need to turn around and head home. I set out that morning intending to do a 6 to 7 mile run. Somewhere around mile 3 and a half, 30 minutes into my run, I could feel my thighs start to numb and a pain throb in my groin. I started heading home, going back the 3 or so miles. I was running into the wind. A cold cold wind.
Somewhere around mile 5 I could tell I was in trouble. Things started to burn and then go numb. I only had two more miles to go. I figured I could just tough it out. The rest of my body was warm and I worked up a really good sweat. Normally when I run my X-tra large T-shirts and other layers would kind of cover the area below my waist. I was not wearing X-tra large shirts. The moisture wicking spandex was taking the moisture away from my body to be frozen by the cold wind blowing through the mesh work-out pants I was wearing. I was freeze drying my bits. And quite frankly after I inspected the area, it, they, had the appearance of freeze dried fruit. The icy feeling put the "icle" in the, you know, "test".
"I gotta go take a shower." I said to Lauren and I hobbled up the steps.
I took off my pants and was amazed and slightly horrified purplish-red color of my upper thighs. From my waist line to my knees was the color of an overcooked ham. Did you ever spend a few hours in the snow making snowmen and snow balls (pun totally intended) and once you go inside your hands start to burn from the temperature change? That is how the shower felt. It burned.
I waited in the hot water for every thing to descend from their un-descended positions. I waited for the red color to soften to a dull pink. Eventually the burning stopped but I could tell there was a slight lack of sensation. There was also a steady ache from the inside of the, well, just the inside of it all.
I have a pain medication that I take on an as needed basis for herniated disks in my neck. Part of the medication has an anti anxiety element to it. When my herniated disks flare up some of the symptoms are similar to that of having a heart attack. The anti-anxiety meds help relieve the panic stricken, chest tightness stress I may feel during the flare up. I did a quick Google search on Frost Bite and after looking at a few pictures of blackened gangrene-semi amputated digits I decided that I should take one of my pain pills.
By the end of the day, when the effects of the medicine wore off, everything seemed to be fine. Later that night Lauren asked me how I felt. She joked that she was going to sew me a fleece or flannel codpiece.
"It seems to be fine." I said. "It stills aches a bit, but otherwise I think it is okay."
"That's good." She said.
"Although maybe we should make sure it is in entirely in working order." I smiled raising my eyebrows.
"Oh. And how should you do that?" She said rolling her eyes.
"Well I have an idea."
She did not fall for any of my tricks.
The next day I asked Lauren if she thought I should blog about my fozen bits.
"Why would you even hesitate? Of course you should." Was her reply.
"I am not touching that." Lauren said. She knows my tricks and she thought I was trying to, well, get her to touch it. The last time she fell for this trick we ended up with our third boy. And now, after having three boys there is not much time or desire to be touching anything.
"Seriously Lauren, I am not trying any games I need you to touch it. I think it is has frostbite."
Lauren looked down. I was stretching my waistband out so she could get a better look.
"Oh my God!" She said startled. "It is bright red. Are you okay?"
I winced. I was not okay. I was in serious pain. I looked down. I was shocked of how much of it was shrinking up into my belly. Everything they say about shrinkage is true. I reached my hand down and tried to make sure everything was intact. As soon as my fingers touched the tip, the fire helmet, I could feel it all burn. My lower abdomen ached, as did my groin.
"What happened?" Lauren asked.
"I think my pecker is frozen."
I explained how I decided to go for a long run, after all it was early Saturday morning and the sun was coming up. Part of the Half-marathon training program I am trying is to do one long run a week. This was my first true long run. I always wear spandex-moisture wicking pants under a loose fitting, breathable, mesh sweatpants. The rest of my running outfit is various layers depending on the temperature. It was in the low to mid twenties so I bundled up on top wearing new tight fitting vest and running shirts as opposed to the multi-layers of long t-shirts I usually wear.
When I run, I just run away from my house until I feel the need to turn around and head home. I set out that morning intending to do a 6 to 7 mile run. Somewhere around mile 3 and a half, 30 minutes into my run, I could feel my thighs start to numb and a pain throb in my groin. I started heading home, going back the 3 or so miles. I was running into the wind. A cold cold wind.
Somewhere around mile 5 I could tell I was in trouble. Things started to burn and then go numb. I only had two more miles to go. I figured I could just tough it out. The rest of my body was warm and I worked up a really good sweat. Normally when I run my X-tra large T-shirts and other layers would kind of cover the area below my waist. I was not wearing X-tra large shirts. The moisture wicking spandex was taking the moisture away from my body to be frozen by the cold wind blowing through the mesh work-out pants I was wearing. I was freeze drying my bits. And quite frankly after I inspected the area, it, they, had the appearance of freeze dried fruit. The icy feeling put the "icle" in the, you know, "test".
"I gotta go take a shower." I said to Lauren and I hobbled up the steps.
I took off my pants and was amazed and slightly horrified purplish-red color of my upper thighs. From my waist line to my knees was the color of an overcooked ham. Did you ever spend a few hours in the snow making snowmen and snow balls (pun totally intended) and once you go inside your hands start to burn from the temperature change? That is how the shower felt. It burned.
I waited in the hot water for every thing to descend from their un-descended positions. I waited for the red color to soften to a dull pink. Eventually the burning stopped but I could tell there was a slight lack of sensation. There was also a steady ache from the inside of the, well, just the inside of it all.
I have a pain medication that I take on an as needed basis for herniated disks in my neck. Part of the medication has an anti anxiety element to it. When my herniated disks flare up some of the symptoms are similar to that of having a heart attack. The anti-anxiety meds help relieve the panic stricken, chest tightness stress I may feel during the flare up. I did a quick Google search on Frost Bite and after looking at a few pictures of blackened gangrene-semi amputated digits I decided that I should take one of my pain pills.
By the end of the day, when the effects of the medicine wore off, everything seemed to be fine. Later that night Lauren asked me how I felt. She joked that she was going to sew me a fleece or flannel codpiece.
"It seems to be fine." I said. "It stills aches a bit, but otherwise I think it is okay."
"That's good." She said.
"Although maybe we should make sure it is in entirely in working order." I smiled raising my eyebrows.
"Oh. And how should you do that?" She said rolling her eyes.
"Well I have an idea."
She did not fall for any of my tricks.
The next day I asked Lauren if she thought I should blog about my fozen bits.
"Why would you even hesitate? Of course you should." Was her reply.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Hopeful Forecast
For the past two years I have written a post at the beginning of the year listing all the things I wanted to write about that upcoming year. I treated the posts as preview/teaser as well as a hopeful forecast or wishes. I had no idea at the time when I wrote those posts that some of those wishes or positive thoughts would actually come true, like losing 20 lbs, or going to Blogher. Now I also know and understand that some of the predictions did not come to fruition (like the Bigfoot sighting or appearing on SNL) but I like the vibe and outcome of my previous “looking ahead” posts.
My hopeful forecast for Poop and Boogies for the year 2011 should include posts and stories about, making an appearance on SNL, winning the lottery, seeing Bigfoot, winning a free trip for the whole family to Disney World, getting a new dog and taking the kids to New York. I hope in 2011 I will be able to write posts about the time I was in a car accident with my sister, how Max’s Little League team was the best team in the division, how I was a substitute Sunday school teacher, Wyatt starting kindergarten, Lauren selling her paintings and getting a gallery appearance and maybe a post or two about Jackson’s ability to make me laugh.
I want to write about Max’s piano lessons, how I lost another 10 maybe 15 pounds, Wyatt learning to ride a bike, Jackson at the beach, meeting one or two of the Phillies, going to some of the Phillies game, hell even how the Phillies, don’t cock it up this year and win the world series in 2011. I hope Poop and Boogies will include stories about some of my nightclub adventures, working with advertisers on the website, my tattoo, taking my wife away for a weekend (without the kids), making more revenue form a hobby I really enjoy, how I ran three 5k races and a half Marathon, more theater stories, my mid-life crisis, a post or two about publishing a book, or a post or two about publishing a children’s book, a post about meeting some of my blogging friends or even just making new friends.
I hope to post pictures of household renovations that I have done (or more likely that Lauren has done), I hope to do a few more contests and give-aways and maybe get a long term sponsor.
I hope I can write about my family being happy and full of joy.
I hope 2011 brings me more readers to this site. And that those new readers as well as the people who have been coming here for years will enjoy this site and stories as much as I do in creating it.
According to Chris at Rude Cactus, today is the official-unofficial blogging De-lurking day, please leave a comment and let me know what you would like to see from Poop and Boogies this year.
My hopeful forecast for Poop and Boogies for the year 2011 should include posts and stories about, making an appearance on SNL, winning the lottery, seeing Bigfoot, winning a free trip for the whole family to Disney World, getting a new dog and taking the kids to New York. I hope in 2011 I will be able to write posts about the time I was in a car accident with my sister, how Max’s Little League team was the best team in the division, how I was a substitute Sunday school teacher, Wyatt starting kindergarten, Lauren selling her paintings and getting a gallery appearance and maybe a post or two about Jackson’s ability to make me laugh.
I want to write about Max’s piano lessons, how I lost another 10 maybe 15 pounds, Wyatt learning to ride a bike, Jackson at the beach, meeting one or two of the Phillies, going to some of the Phillies game, hell even how the Phillies, don’t cock it up this year and win the world series in 2011. I hope Poop and Boogies will include stories about some of my nightclub adventures, working with advertisers on the website, my tattoo, taking my wife away for a weekend (without the kids), making more revenue form a hobby I really enjoy, how I ran three 5k races and a half Marathon, more theater stories, my mid-life crisis, a post or two about publishing a book, or a post or two about publishing a children’s book, a post about meeting some of my blogging friends or even just making new friends.
I hope to post pictures of household renovations that I have done (or more likely that Lauren has done), I hope to do a few more contests and give-aways and maybe get a long term sponsor.
I hope I can write about my family being happy and full of joy.
I hope 2011 brings me more readers to this site. And that those new readers as well as the people who have been coming here for years will enjoy this site and stories as much as I do in creating it.
According to Chris at Rude Cactus, today is the official-unofficial blogging De-lurking day, please leave a comment and let me know what you would like to see from Poop and Boogies this year.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monsters
My wife is pretty creative, crafty, artsy and handy. I thinks she finds calm and a bit of peace in creating works of art out of the chaos that is living with me and three boys. Every now and then she needs some peace and maybe some quiet.
A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Miyagi, my friend and Max's Godfather, took the boys bowling and left his daughter Ruby with Lauren so they could have girl time. I think Lauren was a little worried about what she was going to do with a little girl around. She was excited when Ruby wanted to make a monster shirt. Lauren knows a lot about monsters.
Ruby drew a picture of the monster that she wanted. Lauren and her set about recreating the drawing out of fabric.
Ruby was delighted with the outcome and I think Lauren enjoyed the time they had together.
I think I know where she gets some of her inspiration. She has to take partial credit for creating the little monsters that her boys are.
A couple of weeks ago, Mr. Miyagi, my friend and Max's Godfather, took the boys bowling and left his daughter Ruby with Lauren so they could have girl time. I think Lauren was a little worried about what she was going to do with a little girl around. She was excited when Ruby wanted to make a monster shirt. Lauren knows a lot about monsters.
Ruby drew a picture of the monster that she wanted. Lauren and her set about recreating the drawing out of fabric.
Ruby was delighted with the outcome and I think Lauren enjoyed the time they had together. Through the hectic pace of the holidays and getting the kids back to school and their normal routine, Lauren decided she needed to get creative again for Jackson's 2nd Birthday. Again she turned to monsters.
Jackson's Elmo cake was made out of cupcakes. Lauren described it as a "pull-away"cake.
Jackson's Elmo cake was made out of cupcakes. Lauren described it as a "pull-away"cake.
I think I know where she gets some of her inspiration. She has to take partial credit for creating the little monsters that her boys are.
Friday, January 07, 2011
The Inner Circle
The Culper Ring was a secret spy ring, made up of civilians, used by General George Washington during the Revolutionary War. The Culper Ring's purpose was to provide information to the General and eventually the President without any bias or predisposition to the actual information. So secret was the Culper Ring that even Washington himself did not know who were some of the members.
Brad Meltzer has a new book that comes out on 1/11/11 called The Inner Circle. The story is about a modern day Culper Ring although the story and characters are fictional. Meltzer always grounds his characters and stories in some basis of truth which makes his work of fiction almost seem real.
Beecher, the main character, works in the National Archives and stumbles, either by accident or by design (which I still have not figured out) onto a secret communications ring which centers around the President of the United States. The secret spy ring discovers that Beecher has discovered them and now nobody is safe. Beecher has been recently re-acquainted with Clementine, his old child hood crush, who has some secrets herself.
Beecher and Clementine have to put together coded communications left in mysterious locations in an effort to protect themselves from an unknown enemy. At one point they have to seek assistance from Nico Hadrian, a mental patient and would be Presidential assassin (a character from previous Meltzer novel The Book of Fate) whose beliefs are entrenched in secret societies.
I have read every Brad Meltzer book. I watch his show Decoded on the History Channel. I would have to say that Inner Circle is my favorite work of his so far. In all of Meltzer's other books or shows there is always a moment that I say to myself ,"Oh, right, that could never happen." and it takes me out of the action or pacing of the story. Not once in The Inner Circle did I feel that way.
It is a great story, with great, believable characters based in historical locations with historical documents. It blends truth, secret coded messages and fiction. What else could you ask for?
Brad Meltzer apparently was an intern on Capitol Hill-Senate Judiciary Committee- in Washington DC in the early 90's .
Brad Meltzer, apparently, co-wrote the Ameri-Corps Oath, that has been delivered by Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.
Brad Meltzer, apparently interviewed former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton as research for a couple of his novels.
Brad Meltzer apparently is now friendly with the former Presidents.
In 2006, Brad Meltzer participated in a group think tank, along with the CIA, FBI, various psychologists, and Department of Homeland Security intelligence staff to brainstorm new ways that terrorists might attack the U.S.
Brad Meltzer, could very well be a part of a current Culper Ring.
Brad Meltzer has a new book that comes out on 1/11/11 called The Inner Circle. The story is about a modern day Culper Ring although the story and characters are fictional. Meltzer always grounds his characters and stories in some basis of truth which makes his work of fiction almost seem real.
Beecher, the main character, works in the National Archives and stumbles, either by accident or by design (which I still have not figured out) onto a secret communications ring which centers around the President of the United States. The secret spy ring discovers that Beecher has discovered them and now nobody is safe. Beecher has been recently re-acquainted with Clementine, his old child hood crush, who has some secrets herself.
Beecher and Clementine have to put together coded communications left in mysterious locations in an effort to protect themselves from an unknown enemy. At one point they have to seek assistance from Nico Hadrian, a mental patient and would be Presidential assassin (a character from previous Meltzer novel The Book of Fate) whose beliefs are entrenched in secret societies.
I have read every Brad Meltzer book. I watch his show Decoded on the History Channel. I would have to say that Inner Circle is my favorite work of his so far. In all of Meltzer's other books or shows there is always a moment that I say to myself ,"Oh, right, that could never happen." and it takes me out of the action or pacing of the story. Not once in The Inner Circle did I feel that way.
It is a great story, with great, believable characters based in historical locations with historical documents. It blends truth, secret coded messages and fiction. What else could you ask for?
Brad Meltzer apparently was an intern on Capitol Hill-Senate Judiciary Committee- in Washington DC in the early 90's .
Brad Meltzer, apparently, co-wrote the Ameri-Corps Oath, that has been delivered by Presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush.
Brad Meltzer, apparently interviewed former Presidents George H.W. Bush and Bill Clinton as research for a couple of his novels.
Brad Meltzer apparently is now friendly with the former Presidents.
In 2006, Brad Meltzer participated in a group think tank, along with the CIA, FBI, various psychologists, and Department of Homeland Security intelligence staff to brainstorm new ways that terrorists might attack the U.S.
Brad Meltzer, could very well be a part of a current Culper Ring.
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Jackson Turns 2
Two years ago, my wife woke me up with the words, "Bill, I either just peed my pants or my water just broke."
14 hours or so later this little cute guy was born.
14 hours or so later this little cute guy was born.
Except he was not as cute then as he is now.
And he was not as much trouble then as he is now. That is a 32 ounces of shredded cheese he dumped on the family room floor.
And he was not as silly then as he is now.
Or as loveable or as cuddly or as smart or as awesome or as, well, you get the picture.
Happy Birthday Jackson.
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Anybody Want A Peanut?
My mom hosts a Christmas Eve gathering/open house at her place for a gift exchange between the various aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, Godparents and Godchildren. This past Christmas the party started at 1pm. Right before we were leaving the mailman dropped off a package addressed to me. I quickly opened it to find an advanced copy of Brad Meltzer's latest book The Inner Circle (which does not hit book stores until 1-11-11). I was quite excited since Brad Meltzer is my secret man crush author.
I took this picture in front of my Abe Lincoln portrait because The Inner Circle is about the (fictional) U.S. President's secret Inner Circle (not Abe's inner circle but you know he was a president so I figured it made sense). I also tried to get the "Bra Melt" part of Brad Meltzer's name. I plan to write a review of Brad's book later this week. Let me just tell you, so far, awesome.
I took this picture in front of my Abe Lincoln portrait because The Inner Circle is about the (fictional) U.S. President's secret Inner Circle (not Abe's inner circle but you know he was a president so I figured it made sense). I also tried to get the "Bra Melt" part of Brad Meltzer's name. I plan to write a review of Brad's book later this week. Let me just tell you, so far, awesome. While at my mom's house my Goddaughter Allyson, my brother Anonymous'/Kevin's daughter, gave me what I consider to be one of my favorite Christmas gifts ever.
That's right, she gave me a Westley and a Fezzik doll from the movie the Princess Bride. If you squeeze their bellies they say lines from the movie including "Anybody want a peanut?". I didn't know these dolls existed. I was even more excited about getting the dolls than the book.
That's right, she gave me a Westley and a Fezzik doll from the movie the Princess Bride. If you squeeze their bellies they say lines from the movie including "Anybody want a peanut?". I didn't know these dolls existed. I was even more excited about getting the dolls than the book. My wife, Lauren, on the other hand is slightly disappointed. She is upset that I was more excited about the book and the dolls than I was for any of the gifts she gave to me. I think it may also have to do with the fact that every night since Christmas Eve Westley, Fezzik and Brad Meltzer's book have been in our bed.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Magical
On December 22nd Maxfield lost his first tooth. He was very excited to leave the lower left central tooth for the Tooth Fairy that night. At 4 am on the 23rd of December Max ran into my room to wake me up and show off the new five dollar bill he found under his pillow. I told him the Tooth Fairy was being generous because it was Max's first tooth and it was close to Christmas (and it was the only bill the Tooth Fairy had in her wallet). He was amazed by the magic of the Tooth Fairy.
On December 24th Max woke with the excitement and anticipation that goes along with Christmas Eve. Throughout the day we discussed Jesus' birthday and the spirit of giving and the three Magi. We visited family and exchanged gifts with God parents and grandparents. That night we were invited to dinner by our neighbors at a Japanese style steakhouse/hibachi joint, where the chefs cook on the table top and entertain the diners with cool tricks and knife work. My boys were in awe of the flaming volcanic onion as well as the chef catching food in his hat. It was a great night and Max could not stop talking about it.
Christmas morning was filled with toys, stockings filled with treats and the talk of Santa and his magic of giving. We had a incredible day assembling toys, pretending to be superheroes, playing games and using our imaginations to accomplish great feats of strength and magical powers. We visited with more family and exchanged presents with aunts and uncles and Mom Mom.
It was a great and magical long weekend in our house. And after it is all said and done, the wonderment and awe between the Tooth Fairy, Santa, Jesus, the three wise men, Lego Star Wars guys, Iron Man, countless super heroes, aunts, uncles and Godparents, I truly think that Maxfield was most impressed with the Hibachi chef guy. So much so that he asked that we take him back to that restaurant for his birthday.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Baby Cheeses*
Wyatt Blue, my four year old, attends a pre-school in a local Methodist church. The school is highly regarded as an excellent pre-school with a focus on education with a Christian foundation.
Last week I was driving Wyatt to pre-school and I asked him what they were learning in school.
"Christmas." He said.
"What did you learn about Christmas?"
"Christmas is a the time when Jesus becomes a baby again. You see, Jesus is a man who at Christmas time becomes a baby. He then becomes a boy so that by Easter he is a man again. You see Jesus is two men, a boy and a baby. His super powers are that he can become a baby again. But I think he should just stay a baby because then we could have Christmas longer and oh look at all those Gooses. Why do Gooses sit there?" He pointed to the field next to us.
"They're are called geese when there are more than one." I corrected.
"Why are all the geeses there?" Wyatt asked. "Hey Dad. Geeses, Jesus, that rhymes!"
"Yes it does Wyatt. What else can you tell me about Jesus?" I asked trying to get him to focus back on our original conversation.
And I smiled the rest of the way to his school as he rhymed other words with Jesus.
Wyatt continued, "Cheeses...Pizzas... Sneezes... Pieces..."
*Baby Cheeses from ABC's Modern Family, best show ever.
------------------------------------------
Here are some gift Ideas for the holiday season although some of them may not be able to make it to your tree in time.
Maze Man--A friend of mine does his own hand drawn mazes. They are cool and complex. He even does custom mazes for business and what not. Very cool.
B Toys--I wrote about these folks a year ago here and how funny their instructions were. They included my post on their website. Check them out. This is the company's first Christmas season. We were trying to purchase a Veterinary kit/Critters Clinic for Wyatt but have not been able to track down at Target. They keep selling out. That is how awesome their toys are.
Books make great gifts and awesome stocking stuffers. I highly recommend Frankie Pickle books by Eric Wight as well as The Dread Crew by Kate Inglis for the young readers. And of course for the older readers on your gift list there is anything by Brad Meltzer (my secret man crush) as well as For a Good Home by Eve Mont. Brad has a new book coming out in the next month or so and he has a television show on the History Channel. Eve Mont just signed a deal for three new books with her publisher.
If there is a hairy sweaty man in your life I also would suggest Shave Secret and Anti Rash Underwear as gifts. Both have changed my life.
----------------------------
Kcinnova --won the Tassimo Single Serve Coffee Machine. I had over 60 entries between comments and emails. I used a random number generator and her number was picked. Thank you to all who entered and thank you to all who read Poop and Boogies.
----------------------------
Remember when you are having your Christmas dinner and someone asks, "What's in this?" just say "Poop and Boogies. Shut up and eat it."
Happy Holidays everyone.
Last week I was driving Wyatt to pre-school and I asked him what they were learning in school.
"Christmas." He said.
"What did you learn about Christmas?"
"Christmas is a the time when Jesus becomes a baby again. You see, Jesus is a man who at Christmas time becomes a baby. He then becomes a boy so that by Easter he is a man again. You see Jesus is two men, a boy and a baby. His super powers are that he can become a baby again. But I think he should just stay a baby because then we could have Christmas longer and oh look at all those Gooses. Why do Gooses sit there?" He pointed to the field next to us.
"They're are called geese when there are more than one." I corrected.
"Why are all the geeses there?" Wyatt asked. "Hey Dad. Geeses, Jesus, that rhymes!"
"Yes it does Wyatt. What else can you tell me about Jesus?" I asked trying to get him to focus back on our original conversation.
And I smiled the rest of the way to his school as he rhymed other words with Jesus.
Wyatt continued, "Cheeses...Pizzas... Sneezes... Pieces..."
*Baby Cheeses from ABC's Modern Family, best show ever.
------------------------------------------
Here are some gift Ideas for the holiday season although some of them may not be able to make it to your tree in time.
Maze Man--A friend of mine does his own hand drawn mazes. They are cool and complex. He even does custom mazes for business and what not. Very cool.
B Toys--I wrote about these folks a year ago here and how funny their instructions were. They included my post on their website. Check them out. This is the company's first Christmas season. We were trying to purchase a Veterinary kit/Critters Clinic for Wyatt but have not been able to track down at Target. They keep selling out. That is how awesome their toys are.
Books make great gifts and awesome stocking stuffers. I highly recommend Frankie Pickle books by Eric Wight as well as The Dread Crew by Kate Inglis for the young readers. And of course for the older readers on your gift list there is anything by Brad Meltzer (my secret man crush) as well as For a Good Home by Eve Mont. Brad has a new book coming out in the next month or so and he has a television show on the History Channel. Eve Mont just signed a deal for three new books with her publisher.
If there is a hairy sweaty man in your life I also would suggest Shave Secret and Anti Rash Underwear as gifts. Both have changed my life.
----------------------------
Kcinnova --won the Tassimo Single Serve Coffee Machine. I had over 60 entries between comments and emails. I used a random number generator and her number was picked. Thank you to all who entered and thank you to all who read Poop and Boogies.
----------------------------
Remember when you are having your Christmas dinner and someone asks, "What's in this?" just say "Poop and Boogies. Shut up and eat it."
Happy Holidays everyone.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Must be Italian.
"Frah-Gee-Lay. It must be Italian!" Mr. Parker says with excitement.
"I think that says fragile honey." Mrs. Parker corrects him.
Check out the rest of the entry here .
"I think that says fragile honey." Mrs. Parker corrects him.
Check out the rest of the entry here .
Sunday, December 12, 2010
Merry Gentlemen
Last year I wrote a post about how my brother Anonymous rates the Christmas cards that he receives. In that post I mentioned that no one understood my No L card.
This year, without my wife's knowledge (because she thinks it is "dorky" or something), I created and mailed my own Christmas card for my siblings. Two days later I received a phone call from my brother Anonymous. He told me that even though it was early, he is pretty confident that I was going to get "top honors" this year for the best card. I was and still am pretty excited.
This year, without my wife's knowledge (because she thinks it is "dorky" or something), I created and mailed my own Christmas card for my siblings. Two days later I received a phone call from my brother Anonymous. He told me that even though it was early, he is pretty confident that I was going to get "top honors" this year for the best card. I was and still am pretty excited.
The above picture was on the face of the Christmas card and the text read, "Merry Christmas. Let nothing you dismay. From the Merry Gentlemen, Maxfield, Wyatt and Jackson. And Lauren and Bill.
Top Honors. That is big.
I need to start making next years card.
Thursday, December 09, 2010
Jewish-ish
Susan is a friend of mine since childhood and while we were growing up she always invited me, the Catholic, to her Jewish family's celebrations. I attended various nights of Hanukkah and many Passover Seder dinners at her house that Susan's Uncle Kenny knighted me an Honorary Jew. He told me that after someone attends enough events with his family that by default they are Jewish-ish enough. He may have given me the honorary Jew title just because he wanted me to keep coming back to the Post Seder dinner poker games that I usually lost.
Susan still invites my family, more so my kids, to her house to celebrate and learn about Hanukkah with her daughter Estella. We have attended the past two years and the kids would exchange small gifts and my boys would get to light the Menorah and play Dreidel and eat chocolate "gelt" coins.
Last night Max told me that they were learning about Hanukkah in school.
"What did you learn about Hanukkah?" I asked.
"Nothing new." he said. "I already knew it all."
"Really?"
"Yeah, from Estella's house."
"Oh." I replied.
"Are there any Jewish kids in your class?" Lauren asked Max.
"No."
"How do you know?"
"The teacher asked if anyone in the class celebrated Hanukkah and I was the only one to say yes."
I laughed.
"The teacher asked if I was Jewish." Max added, "I told her no, but my friend Estella is, and that is where we celebrate Hanukkah."
I need to get Estella's Great-Uncle Kenny to knight Max.
Susan still invites my family, more so my kids, to her house to celebrate and learn about Hanukkah with her daughter Estella. We have attended the past two years and the kids would exchange small gifts and my boys would get to light the Menorah and play Dreidel and eat chocolate "gelt" coins.
Last night Max told me that they were learning about Hanukkah in school.
"What did you learn about Hanukkah?" I asked.
"Nothing new." he said. "I already knew it all."
"Really?"
"Yeah, from Estella's house."
"Oh." I replied.
"Are there any Jewish kids in your class?" Lauren asked Max.
"No."
"How do you know?"
"The teacher asked if anyone in the class celebrated Hanukkah and I was the only one to say yes."
I laughed.
"The teacher asked if I was Jewish." Max added, "I told her no, but my friend Estella is, and that is where we celebrate Hanukkah."
I need to get Estella's Great-Uncle Kenny to knight Max.
Monday, December 06, 2010
Junk
So apparently and allegedly Brett Favre had done it. And then there was this kind of popular dad blogger, Dad Gone Mad, who used his popularity and recognition as a reason/excuse to (allegedly) do it. I am talking about sending pictures of their junk to people.
I figure I need to do it as well. But since I don't have everybody's email addresses I will, in the effort to save time and what not, just post pictures of my junk on my website.
Here are pictures of my junk.
This is the junk in my garage. I do not know how it got there or how to even use half of the junk there. It is just there.
This picture is of the junk on the top of my chest of drawers. Lauren hates my junk on the chest as well as the fact that it clutters the drawers. This is the junk that litters my pockets everyday.
This last picture is of the junk that I pull out of the laundry on a regular basis. The picture above is a collection from just the past week. An Elephant, a domino a Lego Star Wars light saber a die from a board game and yes, that is a partially eaten pickle that I had taken from the washer after I had run it. I have no idea why any of my kids would have put a half eaten pickle in their pocket, but it sure did make me laugh when I found it as I was transferring the clothes to the dryer.
I figure I need to do it as well. But since I don't have everybody's email addresses I will, in the effort to save time and what not, just post pictures of my junk on my website.
Here are pictures of my junk.
This is the junk in my garage. I do not know how it got there or how to even use half of the junk there. It is just there.
This picture is of the junk on the top of my chest of drawers. Lauren hates my junk on the chest as well as the fact that it clutters the drawers. This is the junk that litters my pockets everyday.
This last picture is of the junk that I pull out of the laundry on a regular basis. The picture above is a collection from just the past week. An Elephant, a domino a Lego Star Wars light saber a die from a board game and yes, that is a partially eaten pickle that I had taken from the washer after I had run it. I have no idea why any of my kids would have put a half eaten pickle in their pocket, but it sure did make me laugh when I found it as I was transferring the clothes to the dryer. What kind of Junk do you have after you run your laundry?
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
Shave
I am not a fan of shaving. I never have been. I started shaving when I was 14 and I do not like the act of shaving. I like a clean face. I like a close shave. But I do not like the actual chore of shaving. A chore, that is what it is.
I have thick hair. Thick hair and thick thighs are what I inherited from my mom's side of the family. When it comes to shaving my face I have to pay attention and work at making sure I do not butcher my skin in the process.
About 8 or so years ago my mother in law gave me a Gilette Sensor razor for Christmas. It made shaving a little bit more bearable. I still hated shaving but having a nice razor made the process a bit better. I have since moved away from the Gilette Sensor and I have started shaving less and less, preferring a beard or goatee to nicks and cuts left on my face.
When my wife Lauren ran the ING Philly Rock and Roll Half Marathon in September they gave her a bag full of stuff for running the race. In the swag bag was a little tiny tube of some kind of oil attached to a piece of paper that said "Shave Secret." The paper had instructions on how to use the oil for shaving using just water and the oil. The paper claimed "the best shave ever". I had my doubts but I decided to give the stuff a try.
I shaved my entire face, not one nick. The shave was close and my skin was left soft and smooth. Let me tell you, THE BEST SHAVE EVER. I looked up Shave Secret online and found that it could be purchased at Wal-Mart. I immediatley went out and purchased a small bottle. I now, kind of, like shaving. I now shave challenging myself to actually give myself razor burn or a nick or cut.
Whenever I discover a new product, restaurant or whatever I always make it a point to tell my brothers. The 8 of us tend to share these kind of things as I pointed out in this post about underwear. I was talking to my brother Jim one morning and I told him how much I love Shave Secret. He said that a while ago he used the stuff but stopped because he thought it was clogging up his sink. I thought that he may have a good point. The oil does, kind of, clump the shaved hair together before it is washed down the drain. I could also see the oil causing the clumps of shaved hair to stick to the walls of the drain pipe much like cholesterol sticking to the insides of an artery.
I told my brother Jim that I could see that happening but that I would rather invest in Drano than give up the best shaving experiences I have had so far. He laughed, then he said, "I stopped using Shave Secret because I THOUGHT it was clogging my drains. It turns out that about a month after I stopped using it, I had a plumber out to check the drain and there a was a toothbrush stuck down in there the whole time. So it was not the Shave Secret."
I highly recommend Shave Secret for those without a toothbrush in the drain problem.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the effort for full disclosure, Shave Secret did NOT pay me or give me their product to review, I repeat did NOT. I recieved NO compensation for this post whatsoever. I just really like their product.
I also want to recommend this product to all of the guy bloggers out there who grew moustaches for the Movember. Guys like Laid Off Dad , Clark Kent's Lunchbox, Kevin from Always Home and Uncool and Whit Honea.
From the Movember Website
"Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days."
In 2004 Movember concentrated their efforts to focusing on the number one cancer affecting men, Prostate Cancer. The typical prostate is explained here. So LOD, CK, Kevin and Whit you have raised money in the hopes that more men will have doctors stick fingers up their butts. Thanks guys.
All kidding aside I think it is awesome that those bloggers participated in Movemeber. It is never too late to donate.
I have thick hair. Thick hair and thick thighs are what I inherited from my mom's side of the family. When it comes to shaving my face I have to pay attention and work at making sure I do not butcher my skin in the process.
About 8 or so years ago my mother in law gave me a Gilette Sensor razor for Christmas. It made shaving a little bit more bearable. I still hated shaving but having a nice razor made the process a bit better. I have since moved away from the Gilette Sensor and I have started shaving less and less, preferring a beard or goatee to nicks and cuts left on my face.
When my wife Lauren ran the ING Philly Rock and Roll Half Marathon in September they gave her a bag full of stuff for running the race. In the swag bag was a little tiny tube of some kind of oil attached to a piece of paper that said "Shave Secret." The paper had instructions on how to use the oil for shaving using just water and the oil. The paper claimed "the best shave ever". I had my doubts but I decided to give the stuff a try.
I shaved my entire face, not one nick. The shave was close and my skin was left soft and smooth. Let me tell you, THE BEST SHAVE EVER. I looked up Shave Secret online and found that it could be purchased at Wal-Mart. I immediatley went out and purchased a small bottle. I now, kind of, like shaving. I now shave challenging myself to actually give myself razor burn or a nick or cut.
Whenever I discover a new product, restaurant or whatever I always make it a point to tell my brothers. The 8 of us tend to share these kind of things as I pointed out in this post about underwear. I was talking to my brother Jim one morning and I told him how much I love Shave Secret. He said that a while ago he used the stuff but stopped because he thought it was clogging up his sink. I thought that he may have a good point. The oil does, kind of, clump the shaved hair together before it is washed down the drain. I could also see the oil causing the clumps of shaved hair to stick to the walls of the drain pipe much like cholesterol sticking to the insides of an artery.
I told my brother Jim that I could see that happening but that I would rather invest in Drano than give up the best shaving experiences I have had so far. He laughed, then he said, "I stopped using Shave Secret because I THOUGHT it was clogging my drains. It turns out that about a month after I stopped using it, I had a plumber out to check the drain and there a was a toothbrush stuck down in there the whole time. So it was not the Shave Secret."
I highly recommend Shave Secret for those without a toothbrush in the drain problem.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the effort for full disclosure, Shave Secret did NOT pay me or give me their product to review, I repeat did NOT. I recieved NO compensation for this post whatsoever. I just really like their product.
I also want to recommend this product to all of the guy bloggers out there who grew moustaches for the Movember. Guys like Laid Off Dad , Clark Kent's Lunchbox, Kevin from Always Home and Uncool and Whit Honea.
From the Movember Website
"Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shaven and then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days."
In 2004 Movember concentrated their efforts to focusing on the number one cancer affecting men, Prostate Cancer. The typical prostate is explained here. So LOD, CK, Kevin and Whit you have raised money in the hopes that more men will have doctors stick fingers up their butts. Thanks guys.
All kidding aside I think it is awesome that those bloggers participated in Movemeber. It is never too late to donate.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Leaky
About six weeks ago I had to have the radiator in my car replaced. It was expensive. When I picked up my car I lifted the hood and noticed two valve covers missing. I showed the technician and he quickly replaced the valves covers. Mistakes happen.
Last week on three separate occasions I noticed a small puddle forming under my car. I checked the fluid on the ground which was odorless and tasteless (like Iocaine powder). I figured that maybe when the radiator was replaced there was a hose or clamp or something that was loose, kind of like the valve covers. I called the dealer, explained the entire situation and scheduled the appointment for Black Friday. I was off from work and I could wait for the mechanics to inspect it. If the car needed more work, Lauren would be able to pick me up.
Black Friday morning Lauren decided to go shopping. We were both up early due to Jackson and Wyatt both having colds/sinus infections and it made sense for her to get out and shop. I told her I would take the boys to the car dealer. I didn’t expect it to take too long for the dealer to check the possible leak. I would call Lauren if we needed a ride.
When we pulled into the dealer lot I noticed that all the parking spaces reserved for “service” were full. Actually there was only one space on the entire lot for me to park. I had no idea that Black Friday was also a busy day for mechanics. I escorted a grumpy Maxfield, a snot covered Jackson, and drippy nosed Wyatt out of the car, through the car show room, past several leery eyed sales guys, to the service desk.
When I take my car in for service I usually deal with a really nice guy named Scott. But someone else was behind the service desk when we walked in. I gave him my information and he told me that it may take a while for them to get to look at it. I explained that I made an appointment. He told me they were really busy. I asked him how long and he told me maybe an hour just to look at it. I started to question their definition of appointment when Scott walked in.
“Hey, you brought the whole crew today, huh?” Scott said smiling at the kids.
“Yes. I figured I made an appointment and you guys could take a quick look.”
“We’re pretty backed up back there.” Scott said. “Do you have someone picking you all up?”
“No.” I kind of lied.
“No?” questioned the other guy behind the counter. “This may take a while, so, you know…” He did not finish his thought which I am sure involved something about the kids not wanting to be there.
“I made an appointment.” I said somewhat annoyed. The other guy could tell.
“I know.” said the other guy. “But we are busy.”
“Seriously”, I questioned, “an hour?”
“It could be longer.” He replied, indifferent to the fact that I made an appointment and he was almost acting like he was doing me a favor.
“You can take as long as you like. “ I said smiling. I pointed to my kids. “I am going to take these guys out to the showroom and let them look at all the new cars. I can pretty much guarantee that one, maybe more of the sales guys out there will be coming back here to ask you guys to hurry up with my car because they are tired of cleaning the snot off of all the new cars.”
The other guy behind the counter looked at Scott and asked him if I was joking.
“I don’t think he is.” Scott said.
The other guy behind the counter said. “Uhmm we have a waiting area where you can go.”
“No thank you.” I said. “We’ll go to the showroom. We’ll look around.” Which, we did.
My car was done in 20 minutes.
Last week on three separate occasions I noticed a small puddle forming under my car. I checked the fluid on the ground which was odorless and tasteless (like Iocaine powder). I figured that maybe when the radiator was replaced there was a hose or clamp or something that was loose, kind of like the valve covers. I called the dealer, explained the entire situation and scheduled the appointment for Black Friday. I was off from work and I could wait for the mechanics to inspect it. If the car needed more work, Lauren would be able to pick me up.
Black Friday morning Lauren decided to go shopping. We were both up early due to Jackson and Wyatt both having colds/sinus infections and it made sense for her to get out and shop. I told her I would take the boys to the car dealer. I didn’t expect it to take too long for the dealer to check the possible leak. I would call Lauren if we needed a ride.
When we pulled into the dealer lot I noticed that all the parking spaces reserved for “service” were full. Actually there was only one space on the entire lot for me to park. I had no idea that Black Friday was also a busy day for mechanics. I escorted a grumpy Maxfield, a snot covered Jackson, and drippy nosed Wyatt out of the car, through the car show room, past several leery eyed sales guys, to the service desk.
When I take my car in for service I usually deal with a really nice guy named Scott. But someone else was behind the service desk when we walked in. I gave him my information and he told me that it may take a while for them to get to look at it. I explained that I made an appointment. He told me they were really busy. I asked him how long and he told me maybe an hour just to look at it. I started to question their definition of appointment when Scott walked in.
“Hey, you brought the whole crew today, huh?” Scott said smiling at the kids.
“Yes. I figured I made an appointment and you guys could take a quick look.”
“We’re pretty backed up back there.” Scott said. “Do you have someone picking you all up?”
“No.” I kind of lied.
“No?” questioned the other guy behind the counter. “This may take a while, so, you know…” He did not finish his thought which I am sure involved something about the kids not wanting to be there.
“I made an appointment.” I said somewhat annoyed. The other guy could tell.
“I know.” said the other guy. “But we are busy.”
“Seriously”, I questioned, “an hour?”
“It could be longer.” He replied, indifferent to the fact that I made an appointment and he was almost acting like he was doing me a favor.
“You can take as long as you like. “ I said smiling. I pointed to my kids. “I am going to take these guys out to the showroom and let them look at all the new cars. I can pretty much guarantee that one, maybe more of the sales guys out there will be coming back here to ask you guys to hurry up with my car because they are tired of cleaning the snot off of all the new cars.”
The other guy behind the counter looked at Scott and asked him if I was joking.
“I don’t think he is.” Scott said.
The other guy behind the counter said. “Uhmm we have a waiting area where you can go.”
“No thank you.” I said. “We’ll go to the showroom. We’ll look around.” Which, we did.
My car was done in 20 minutes.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Laces
I sat Indian Style (or as they say now “criss-cross apple sauce”) closest to the base of the piano that Mrs. Miller was playing. I don’t recall if Mrs. Miller actually played songs or if she just plinked away on the keys to get the Kindergarten class’ attention. Almost every day she would read a story from the piano bench to the 18 or so kids sitting on the ground before her.
Usually I would sit in the middle of the pack, or more likely towards the back with Jeff Stewart and Mark Greeves, but not that day, that day I had something to prove. I don’t remember the story Mrs. Miller was reading because I was too busy concentrating on the task at hand. I had to time everything perfectly. Mrs. Miller, with the book facing her, would read a few sentences, then she would turn the book towards the class and with a very slow sweeping motion from our left to right (her right to left)show the class the pictures in the book.
As Mrs. Miller read, I slowly untied my shoe. As she showed the class the pictures I would try to quickly tie my shoe, muttering under my breath something about carrots and making rabbit ears. I tied and untied my shoe several times during the story. Mrs. Miller finally finished the story and asked the class some questions about the moral of the story. I did not pay attention to the discussion I was busy tying and untying. I was frustrated that my plan did not work. Just as Mrs. Miller was dismissing the class back to our desks I untied and tied my shoe with much flourish. I exaggerated every move, crossing the laces, making a huge loop, pushing the loop through.
“Oh Billy!” Mrs. Miller said with a huge smile. “You are tying your own shoes. That’s great.”
I looked up and smiled, finally she noticed.
“Listen up everybody.” Mrs. Miller said to the class. “Billy has learned to tie his shoes. That means he gets a star on his accomplishment chart.”
Mrs. Miller took out a red shiny star from a small box and stuck it next to my name on a chart hanging on the chalk board. “And now Billy has 3 stars so he gets to help hand out our snacks today.”
It was one of the greatest days of my early life. I think I was one of the last kids in my class to learn how to tie my shoe. It was a big accomplishment for someone who looked like this.
Yes that is Mrs. Miller.
When people used to ask my dad how he did it raising so many kids he used to respond by saying he really only need to teach the first few and the rest of us learned from them. I learned how to tie my shoes from my brothers. I am not sure which one. Dennis probably took too long to explain. Kevin was probably too quick. My guess it was either Dan or John who taught me to tie my shoes. It was also probaly Dan or John who would give me noogies to make my hair look like that.
Most of the sneakers for the kids in my house have Velcro straps. There is no real need to teach them how to tie shoes. Do you think that as their generation grows that their shoes will always have a Velcro straps?
Usually I would sit in the middle of the pack, or more likely towards the back with Jeff Stewart and Mark Greeves, but not that day, that day I had something to prove. I don’t remember the story Mrs. Miller was reading because I was too busy concentrating on the task at hand. I had to time everything perfectly. Mrs. Miller, with the book facing her, would read a few sentences, then she would turn the book towards the class and with a very slow sweeping motion from our left to right (her right to left)show the class the pictures in the book.
As Mrs. Miller read, I slowly untied my shoe. As she showed the class the pictures I would try to quickly tie my shoe, muttering under my breath something about carrots and making rabbit ears. I tied and untied my shoe several times during the story. Mrs. Miller finally finished the story and asked the class some questions about the moral of the story. I did not pay attention to the discussion I was busy tying and untying. I was frustrated that my plan did not work. Just as Mrs. Miller was dismissing the class back to our desks I untied and tied my shoe with much flourish. I exaggerated every move, crossing the laces, making a huge loop, pushing the loop through.
“Oh Billy!” Mrs. Miller said with a huge smile. “You are tying your own shoes. That’s great.”
I looked up and smiled, finally she noticed.
“Listen up everybody.” Mrs. Miller said to the class. “Billy has learned to tie his shoes. That means he gets a star on his accomplishment chart.”
Mrs. Miller took out a red shiny star from a small box and stuck it next to my name on a chart hanging on the chalk board. “And now Billy has 3 stars so he gets to help hand out our snacks today.”
It was one of the greatest days of my early life. I think I was one of the last kids in my class to learn how to tie my shoe. It was a big accomplishment for someone who looked like this.
Yes that is Mrs. Miller.When people used to ask my dad how he did it raising so many kids he used to respond by saying he really only need to teach the first few and the rest of us learned from them. I learned how to tie my shoes from my brothers. I am not sure which one. Dennis probably took too long to explain. Kevin was probably too quick. My guess it was either Dan or John who taught me to tie my shoes. It was also probaly Dan or John who would give me noogies to make my hair look like that.
Most of the sneakers for the kids in my house have Velcro straps. There is no real need to teach them how to tie shoes. Do you think that as their generation grows that their shoes will always have a Velcro straps?
Friday, November 12, 2010
100 Months
This blog, most times, falls into the dad blog category. Sure it is from a dad's perspective but I like to think it is more about family then about being a dad.
This Saturday I will be married for exactly 100 months. 100 months ago, Lauren and I became the start of our family. Over 3000 days ago I said these words to Lauren.
I chose you to be my wife.
In front of our family and friends as witnesses
I promise to give you the very best of me
and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to always love you
in good times and bad
in healthy times and in sickness.
I promise to be faithful to you.
I promise to always be there for you
to support you and to nurture you
and to be receptive of the gift of your love.
I love you more today than yesterday
but not as much as tomorrow
I will love you for the rest of my life
As you wish.
A couple of weeks from now will mark the anniversary of when she actually agreed to marry me. The story of that is told here It Would Have Been Romantic and here When She Said Yes
There was nothing in our vows that stated I was going to be blogging about our life together for 10s and teens of people to read. She is as much of Poop and Boogies as I am, which again, is why I think of this as a family blog. I am very grateful to Lauren for putting up with me and this hobby of mine.
And although on occasion I do yell at her and say "Get back, Witch" I do love her more than and MLT.
This Saturday I will be married for exactly 100 months. 100 months ago, Lauren and I became the start of our family. Over 3000 days ago I said these words to Lauren.
I chose you to be my wife.
In front of our family and friends as witnesses
I promise to give you the very best of me
and to ask of you no more than you can give.
I promise to always love you
in good times and bad
in healthy times and in sickness.
I promise to be faithful to you.
I promise to always be there for you
to support you and to nurture you
and to be receptive of the gift of your love.
I love you more today than yesterday
but not as much as tomorrow
I will love you for the rest of my life
As you wish.
A couple of weeks from now will mark the anniversary of when she actually agreed to marry me. The story of that is told here It Would Have Been Romantic and here When She Said Yes
There was nothing in our vows that stated I was going to be blogging about our life together for 10s and teens of people to read. She is as much of Poop and Boogies as I am, which again, is why I think of this as a family blog. I am very grateful to Lauren for putting up with me and this hobby of mine.
And although on occasion I do yell at her and say "Get back, Witch" I do love her more than and MLT.
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Intruder
I sat straight up in bed. Something, a noise maybe, a feeling, an instinct woke me up. The projected image of the time on my ceiling read 3:36 AM. I tried my best to silence my breathing and quiet my pulse which were the only noises I could hear beside the soft hum of the quiet baby monitor. I held my breath and listened towards the boys room. Did one of them cry out? No, nothing but silence from the direction of their room.
Did you ever try to listen harder? You attempt to stretch the muscles in your neck and face in an effort to squint your ears hoping that will be able to make you listen farther. I tried that. Nothing. I laid back down. A minute passed and I started to drift back to sleep when I heard the noise again. I shot back up. The noise was coming from downstairs. Something downstairs was moving. We lost the dog a few weeks ago and we no longer have any cats. What the hell was moving? My heart raced as a I did a quick mental check to make sure I was truly awake and not dreaming. Damn it, I was awake.
I jumped out of bed and put on my glasses. I hate having poor vision. I grabbed a rather large utility knife that I keep stashed in my room and I headed for the steps. I paused, a few steps down, to debate whether I should call 911. My heart racing, my breathing quick and shallow, I descended one more stair, when a loud electronic chirp pierced the dark silence. I stifled a small yelp, my heart stopped. I felt a wave of relief pass over me as I realized that the chirp was from Lauren's cell phone. She must have missed a text message or something. The movement I heard was probably the phone vibrating in her purse which was hanging in the foyer closet. I sighed. I walked down the steps to the closet so I could silence the phone.
I flipped the light switch at the bottom of the staircase. The foyer lit up and splashed light into the darkened kitchen. I turned at the bottom of the steps and I stopped cold. I thought I saw movement in the kitchen. My feet felt frozen. They warmed when I realized I was catching my reflection in the kitchen bay window. I turned profile and sucked in my gut. I shook my head knowing I had gained back about 5 pounds of the weight I worked so hard to lose. I chucked to myself at the fact that I was standing in my underwear holding a knife. How embarrassing would it be to get into a fight with a burglar while wearing nothing but boxer briefs. I don't even like arguing in just my underwear. (Most of Lauren and my personal conversations happened either at night right before bed or in the morning when we first wake up. It is the only time we can talk privately. If Lauren and I ever get into an argument or disagreement it is during this time when we are in bed or getting ready for bed. I always get up and put pants on when we argue. She laughs at this. The first time I did it, she asked me what I was doing and I said "I can't argue in my underwear." Which would be the title of my book on relationships if I ever had a book on relationships.)
I reached into Lauren's purse to silence the phone when I heard movement from the kitchen. It sounded like some one brushed up against a wall. It was a faint noise but I definitely heard it. My whole body went numb with fear. I mentally counted to three and jumped into the kitchen with the knife outstretched ahead of me. I flipped on the light hoping to startle whoever was in there. The problem is our light in the kitchen is on a dial dimmer switch so the whole flick the switch /startle the intruder was more like a turn the dial and slowly increase the light output and un-romanticize the intruder. No one was there.
I searched the entire house, all windows and doors were locked, all closets and burglar hiding spaces were empty. I was confident that there were no intruders. The noise I heard must have been the wind. I went back to bed.
The next day, late in the afternoon, Lauren told me she heard noises coming from the walls between our kitchen and dining room. What kind of noises I asked. She told me "critter like" noises. That night I sat and listened to the wall. There were definite critter like noises coming from the wall. But these were big critters. It sounded like something was trying to climb up the inside of the wall. The noise was the same noise I heard the night before. There is a wooded area behind our house so it could be anything. I thought it was likely squirrels or moles or possible a raccoon.
The next day I climbed down into the crawl space under the house to investigate. I don't like critters. Underneath the kitchen area I discovered a hole that could allow an R.O.U.S. into our house. Everyone knows that R.O.U.S.es are the third danger of the fire swamp. My heart started racing, my feet grew cold. I was more scared than the night I thought there was a robber in my house. I followed the path that I thought a critter would follow from the hole to the wall where the noise came from. I scanned with the flashlight and searched and searched. Just as I was underneath the area where the dishwasher sits, it started through a rinse cycle. The noise from the dishwasher startled me so much that I may have tinkled a tiny bit. I was thankful that I was wearing pants this time.
I searched the entire crawl space and found nothing. I used some steel wool and Great Stuff and sealed every possible hole that could be used by a critter. I just hope that I didn't trap the varmint in the house, and if I did, I hope it is big enough to scare away any burglars.
Did you ever try to listen harder? You attempt to stretch the muscles in your neck and face in an effort to squint your ears hoping that will be able to make you listen farther. I tried that. Nothing. I laid back down. A minute passed and I started to drift back to sleep when I heard the noise again. I shot back up. The noise was coming from downstairs. Something downstairs was moving. We lost the dog a few weeks ago and we no longer have any cats. What the hell was moving? My heart raced as a I did a quick mental check to make sure I was truly awake and not dreaming. Damn it, I was awake.
I jumped out of bed and put on my glasses. I hate having poor vision. I grabbed a rather large utility knife that I keep stashed in my room and I headed for the steps. I paused, a few steps down, to debate whether I should call 911. My heart racing, my breathing quick and shallow, I descended one more stair, when a loud electronic chirp pierced the dark silence. I stifled a small yelp, my heart stopped. I felt a wave of relief pass over me as I realized that the chirp was from Lauren's cell phone. She must have missed a text message or something. The movement I heard was probably the phone vibrating in her purse which was hanging in the foyer closet. I sighed. I walked down the steps to the closet so I could silence the phone.
I flipped the light switch at the bottom of the staircase. The foyer lit up and splashed light into the darkened kitchen. I turned at the bottom of the steps and I stopped cold. I thought I saw movement in the kitchen. My feet felt frozen. They warmed when I realized I was catching my reflection in the kitchen bay window. I turned profile and sucked in my gut. I shook my head knowing I had gained back about 5 pounds of the weight I worked so hard to lose. I chucked to myself at the fact that I was standing in my underwear holding a knife. How embarrassing would it be to get into a fight with a burglar while wearing nothing but boxer briefs. I don't even like arguing in just my underwear. (Most of Lauren and my personal conversations happened either at night right before bed or in the morning when we first wake up. It is the only time we can talk privately. If Lauren and I ever get into an argument or disagreement it is during this time when we are in bed or getting ready for bed. I always get up and put pants on when we argue. She laughs at this. The first time I did it, she asked me what I was doing and I said "I can't argue in my underwear." Which would be the title of my book on relationships if I ever had a book on relationships.)
I reached into Lauren's purse to silence the phone when I heard movement from the kitchen. It sounded like some one brushed up against a wall. It was a faint noise but I definitely heard it. My whole body went numb with fear. I mentally counted to three and jumped into the kitchen with the knife outstretched ahead of me. I flipped on the light hoping to startle whoever was in there. The problem is our light in the kitchen is on a dial dimmer switch so the whole flick the switch /startle the intruder was more like a turn the dial and slowly increase the light output and un-romanticize the intruder. No one was there.
I searched the entire house, all windows and doors were locked, all closets and burglar hiding spaces were empty. I was confident that there were no intruders. The noise I heard must have been the wind. I went back to bed.
The next day, late in the afternoon, Lauren told me she heard noises coming from the walls between our kitchen and dining room. What kind of noises I asked. She told me "critter like" noises. That night I sat and listened to the wall. There were definite critter like noises coming from the wall. But these were big critters. It sounded like something was trying to climb up the inside of the wall. The noise was the same noise I heard the night before. There is a wooded area behind our house so it could be anything. I thought it was likely squirrels or moles or possible a raccoon.
The next day I climbed down into the crawl space under the house to investigate. I don't like critters. Underneath the kitchen area I discovered a hole that could allow an R.O.U.S. into our house. Everyone knows that R.O.U.S.es are the third danger of the fire swamp. My heart started racing, my feet grew cold. I was more scared than the night I thought there was a robber in my house. I followed the path that I thought a critter would follow from the hole to the wall where the noise came from. I scanned with the flashlight and searched and searched. Just as I was underneath the area where the dishwasher sits, it started through a rinse cycle. The noise from the dishwasher startled me so much that I may have tinkled a tiny bit. I was thankful that I was wearing pants this time.
I searched the entire crawl space and found nothing. I used some steel wool and Great Stuff and sealed every possible hole that could be used by a critter. I just hope that I didn't trap the varmint in the house, and if I did, I hope it is big enough to scare away any burglars.
Thursday, November 04, 2010
Brothery Love
It was Wyatt's turn to pick what color cereal bowl he wanted. Ever since the continuing red plate arguments we have started to let Max and Wyatt take turns on picking what color eating instrument/utensil they want.
"Wyatt, which bowl do you want?" I asked. "The blue or the green?"
Wyatt put his finger to his chin and thought about the choices. "Uhmmmm." he hummed to himself.
"That's not fair. Wyatt got to pick last time." Max whined from across the table.
"That's not true Maxfield." Lauren corrected. "Last night at dinner you got to choose. Now it is Wyatt's turn."
Max pouted.
"C'mon, pick already, blue or green Wyatt?" I was getting impatient.
Wyatt turned his soft, big, round,brown eyes towards Max and said "Max, what color bowl do you want?"
Lauren beamed. "Awwww Wyatt. That is so nice."
I sighed and smiled.
Max perked up. "I would like the blue bowl."
Wyatt tilted his head back towards me, his eyes narrowed as his lips thinned into a smirk. "Then," he said, pausing almost for affect but also weighing the consequences of his decision "I will take the blue one."
I am not trying to be mean but the look of satisfaction on Wyatt's face as Max cried out in protest was priceless.
"Wyatt, which bowl do you want?" I asked. "The blue or the green?"
Wyatt put his finger to his chin and thought about the choices. "Uhmmmm." he hummed to himself.
"That's not fair. Wyatt got to pick last time." Max whined from across the table.
"That's not true Maxfield." Lauren corrected. "Last night at dinner you got to choose. Now it is Wyatt's turn."
Max pouted.
"C'mon, pick already, blue or green Wyatt?" I was getting impatient.
Wyatt turned his soft, big, round,brown eyes towards Max and said "Max, what color bowl do you want?"
Lauren beamed. "Awwww Wyatt. That is so nice."
I sighed and smiled.
Max perked up. "I would like the blue bowl."
Wyatt tilted his head back towards me, his eyes narrowed as his lips thinned into a smirk. "Then," he said, pausing almost for affect but also weighing the consequences of his decision "I will take the blue one."
I am not trying to be mean but the look of satisfaction on Wyatt's face as Max cried out in protest was priceless.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Happy Halloween
Lauren did her thing and made very cool treats.
I did my thing, using some special effects, I made it look like we were grilling children.
And the kids did their thing, looking cute in their family themed costumes. Max was Boba Fett, Wyatt was Jango Fett and Jackson was Hobo Fett. Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Autumn
Autumn is my favorite time of year. The crisp air, falling leaves, Halloween, Thanksgiving, back to school, Football season, Sam Adams Octoberfest on the shelves, new TV shows, the list goes on and on. This year I thought I was going to be able to add Soccer to the list of good things about Fall.
This Fall was the first Fall where our family was involved in Soccer. Both Maxfield and Wyatt joined soccer teams this year with mixed results.
Max did not play last year because he was still healing from his broken Femur so he was a bit behind the abilities and knowledge of the other players in his 6 and 7 year old league. A few games into the season the nature of the game finally clicked with him and he did pretty well. He loved to play goalie and actually played that position for at least a quarter of every game. The last day of the season, during a tournament game, he let up two goals. His emotions got the best of him, his eyes filled with tears as he declared at the top of his lungs "I am the worst goalie ever." My heart broke. Soccer is not being added to my list of Fall favorites yet.
Wyatt's approach to Soccer was to show up at games and watch from the sidelines. Wyatt would join his team at half time to eat Orange slices and then go back to sitting out the rest of the game. He refused to play in half of his games and getting him dressed and out the door became a 45 minute chore every Saturday morning. Soccer is not being added to my list of why I love fall.
Although without Soccer there would not be Soccer babies, who are so darn cute.
Also without Soccer there would not be Soccer Mom's who are so damn hot.
Funny story:
This is our annual fall photo. This was much easier to take than last year's photo.
This Fall was the first Fall where our family was involved in Soccer. Both Maxfield and Wyatt joined soccer teams this year with mixed results.
Max did not play last year because he was still healing from his broken Femur so he was a bit behind the abilities and knowledge of the other players in his 6 and 7 year old league. A few games into the season the nature of the game finally clicked with him and he did pretty well. He loved to play goalie and actually played that position for at least a quarter of every game. The last day of the season, during a tournament game, he let up two goals. His emotions got the best of him, his eyes filled with tears as he declared at the top of his lungs "I am the worst goalie ever." My heart broke. Soccer is not being added to my list of Fall favorites yet.
Wyatt's approach to Soccer was to show up at games and watch from the sidelines. Wyatt would join his team at half time to eat Orange slices and then go back to sitting out the rest of the game. He refused to play in half of his games and getting him dressed and out the door became a 45 minute chore every Saturday morning. Soccer is not being added to my list of why I love fall.Although without Soccer there would not be Soccer babies, who are so darn cute.
Also without Soccer there would not be Soccer Mom's who are so damn hot.
Funny story:
Dick's Sporting Good's was one of the sponsors of Max's league. Each child received a water bottle with the Dick's logo (as you can see in the picture). Every Saturday morning Lauren and I would get the kids dressed for the games, pack various snacks and lunches, and load up the van to spend the day at the fields. One morning I was in the living room getting Wyatt dressed and Lauren was filling the various water bottles for the kids and some for us. I could hear her getting frustrated as she kept banging something on the counter.
"What's wrong?" I called out into the kitchen as I was struggling with Wyatt, attempting to put on his shin pads.
"Nothing." she said in a tone that I could tell she was gritting her teeth. She banged something against the counter.
"Are you sure?"
"Arrrgh." Lauren growled in frustration. " I am having such a hard time with this Dick's top."
After five minutes of me trying to compose myself Wyatt finally asked, "Daddy, what is so funny?"
This is our annual fall photo. This was much easier to take than last year's photo.Thursday, October 21, 2010
Where the Wild Things Are
Maurice Sendak's book Where the Wild Things Are starts with the sentence "The night Max wore his wolf suit he made mischief ...."
The night before I brought my son Maxfield home from the hospital (two days after he was born) I brought home a knit cap that Max had worn so that our dog, Luna, could smell it and get an idea of what was going to happen in our house. Max was going to make mischief.
Three years before that, in late October of 2001, Lauren and I decided to get a dog. I was in my early 30s and Lauren, well, she was younger than that. We went to the local SPCA and as fate would have it we picked out a German Shepherd Chow Chow mix that was classified as an unknown runaway. We did not really decide on her, but she decided on us.
She had a weird look. Her teeth were gnarly (not in a Surfer dude "hey that wave is really gnarly" kind of way, but in the way that her teeth pointed in very odd directions for her mouth kind of way) and her overall appearance was somewhat ugly. The people at the SPCA could only tell us she was a recent stray that seemed well trained but had no home. They figured she was a runaway. I had visions of her being a dog of someone who lost their life on 9/11. Maybe the dog had escaped her home and found her way to the Philadelphia area. She was not pretty, but she was beautiful. Ugly beautiful. Beautifully ugly.
Lauren and I decided to call her Luna, which is Spanish or Italian or Greek or something, meaning the moon. She looked something like a wolf, and wolves howl at the moon. The name was fitting.
I never had a dog. Luna was my first.
In Maurice Sendak's book Where the Wild Things Are there is a picture of all of the monsters looking up at the moon. It is right after Max declares that the wild rumpus should start.
The night before I brought my son Maxfield home from the hospital (two days after he was born) I brought home a knit cap that Max had worn so that our dog, Luna, could smell it and get an idea of what was going to happen in our house. Max was going to make mischief.
Three years before that, in late October of 2001, Lauren and I decided to get a dog. I was in my early 30s and Lauren, well, she was younger than that. We went to the local SPCA and as fate would have it we picked out a German Shepherd Chow Chow mix that was classified as an unknown runaway. We did not really decide on her, but she decided on us.
She had a weird look. Her teeth were gnarly (not in a Surfer dude "hey that wave is really gnarly" kind of way, but in the way that her teeth pointed in very odd directions for her mouth kind of way) and her overall appearance was somewhat ugly. The people at the SPCA could only tell us she was a recent stray that seemed well trained but had no home. They figured she was a runaway. I had visions of her being a dog of someone who lost their life on 9/11. Maybe the dog had escaped her home and found her way to the Philadelphia area. She was not pretty, but she was beautiful. Ugly beautiful. Beautifully ugly.
Lauren and I decided to call her Luna, which is Spanish or Italian or Greek or something, meaning the moon. She looked something like a wolf, and wolves howl at the moon. The name was fitting.
I never had a dog. Luna was my first.
In Maurice Sendak's book Where the Wild Things Are there is a picture of all of the monsters looking up at the moon. It is right after Max declares that the wild rumpus should start.
In June of 2006 I brought home from the hospital, a day or so after Wyatt, our second son, was born, a knit cap, for Luna to smell. She licked at the cap with her big purple tongue ( purple a genetic trait of her being a Chow, or of her being a Wild Thing) and she pawed at it with her large over sized feet and front paws with long dark terrible nails.
Luna's coloring was all over the place. Sometimes she looked brown, other times she looked striped. One of the monsters from Maurice Sendak's book Where the Wild Things Are looked the same way.
In early January of 2009, I brought home a knit cap from the hospital. Our youngest son, Jackson was born and I wanted to make sure that Max and Wyatt and definitely Luna had a chance to smell what was coming home in the next day or so. Max and Wyatt did not sniff at the hat, but Luna, Luna inhaled the scents.
In the book Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are, Max decides he is going home. The Wild Things protest and tell him "We'll eat you up-we love you so."
Our dog Luna has been with us in -paraphrased Maurice Sendak's words- "through night and day, in and out of weeks and almost over a (decade). "
Due to circumstances beyond our control , we had to put Luna down this evening. She was (I hope) at peace, Lauren and I holding her and petting her as the vet administered the shots that would take away her pain. Luna is now Where the Wild Things Are, chasing rabbits and eating treats.
I am sad, Luna was my first and only dog. Lauren is even more sad than I am. But we are adults and have had Luna in our lives for the past ten years. We can handle it.
But even worse than our feelings, is the fact that on Friday 10/22/10 Maxfield will have his first day in his entire life ( 6 years and 7 odd months) without his dog. Max knows this and he has cried about this. Wyatt will experience his first day in his 4 years and 4 months of life without his dog. Jackson, who is only 3 month shy of turning two , will have his first day without Luna.
We know she is Where the Wild Things Are. We love her so. Let the wild rumpus start.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Greatest Dad
I was the greatest, bestest dad in the whole entire world. On Wednesday October 6th I told Maxfield and Wyatt that the new, latest and greatest season premiere of Ben 10 Ultimate Alien would be airing for the first time on that coming Sunday October 10th. I had seen a few advertisements for what was going to be a marathon of Ben 10 episodes on 10/10/10. I smiled at how awesome the marketing was to premiere the new season on that very date. I smiled even bigger when Max and Wyatt did happy dances and started to ask questions.
"When Dad?"
"Sunday."
"What time?"
"I am not sure."
"When?"
"On Sunday. You see Sunday is October tenth. October is the tenth month, Sunday is the tenth day and the year is 2010. So the date is 10-10-10 to show Ben 10. Get it?"
"We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah."
"I can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. I can't wait for Sunday...."
I was the best dad ever. I think I reached the highest rating ever onthe NASDAQ (National Association of Super Dad Awesomeness Qualifier) charts.
I did a little research online and discovered that Cartoon Network was going to be running several hours of previous Ben 10 shows culminating in the newest never before seen episode at 10 AM. 10-10-10-10. Could you make a premiere time any more perfect? I also read online that they were doing something special at the NY Comic Book Convention. It all made sense. I told the boys about the extra 10.
On Thursday October 7th Lauren and I agreed to let Max and Wyatt's best buddy, G, sleep over on that coming Saturday, so they could all watch the new Ben 10 together. More happy dances.
"G is sleeping over. Yeah. G is sleeping over. Yeah. G is sleeping over. Yeah."
Still the best dad. My NASDAQ rating split and then shot through the roof.
On Friday October 8th I perfected and tested my Candy Corn Pancakes recipe. The boys loved them. I told them I would be making them again on 10-10-10 day for the Ben 10 sleep over marathon. No happy dances but my best dad in the whole world rating was clearly unmatched.
Saturday October 9th was blur of soccer games, food shopping, house work, chores and other activities that were all done with smiles and whistles. G came over. The boys ate pizza and played and watched a movie. They were excited to wake up and spend the morning in their pajamas and eat sugary breakfast and snacks and watch Ben 10. Life did not get any better than that for a kid.
I was enjoying my spot at the top of the father charts. It was like I could do no wrong. Life did not get much better than that for a dad.
The next morning I woke up and turned on the TV to Cartoon Network. Ben 10 was not on. I checked the Verizon Fios guide and saw that Ben 10 was not scheduled to come on for any time in the morning. I felt a sense of dread overcome me but shook it off knowing that sometimes the cable guides are wrong. I went to the computer and did some quick Google searches. I found the pages that I read about the Ben 10 Marathon and the times of the shows. I read them again. Yup 10 AM on 10-10-10 is the time. I checked the local TV listings and saw that Ben 10 was not airing in our area until later that afternoon. I thought that it was odd that I had conflicting reports. I went back to the websites I had just read and scrutinized the pages. The dread returned. I had been reading some news articles from some Asia Pacific sources. Apparently Ben 10 is a huge hit in Fiji and Malaysia. The only problem was I did not live in Fiji or Malaysia.
I eventually gathered the boys in the kitchen hoping the smell of melting Candy Corn would soften the blow of the bad news. I explained to them that Ben 10 would be coming on.
"But how come?" They asked.
"I messed up the times." I said.
"But it is 10-10-10. It has to be on."
"It is not coming on until 7 o clock tonight." I explained.
"But how did you mess up?"
I could see the tears of disappointment starting to form in their eyes at the same time I felt my worlds greatest dad status start to plummet. The news was devastating. The kids looked as though I had punched them in the gut. They looked as if their favorite pet had just died. No they looked even worse. They looked as if, as if I , as if I had just told them that Ben 10 would not be on.
I screwed up. My kids were sad. I felt horrible. I did what any father would have done in this situation. I lied.
"Well I did not really mess up. It was the cable company. They messed it up. I called them and they are going to try and fix it but I don't think they will get it to work in time. Here, have some candy corn."
The best dad market crashed that day.
"When Dad?"
"Sunday."
"What time?"
"I am not sure."
"When?"
"On Sunday. You see Sunday is October tenth. October is the tenth month, Sunday is the tenth day and the year is 2010. So the date is 10-10-10 to show Ben 10. Get it?"
"We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday Yeah. We can't wait for Sunday. Yeah."
"I can't wait for Sunday. Yeah. I can't wait for Sunday...."
I was the best dad ever. I think I reached the highest rating ever onthe NASDAQ (National Association of Super Dad Awesomeness Qualifier) charts.
I did a little research online and discovered that Cartoon Network was going to be running several hours of previous Ben 10 shows culminating in the newest never before seen episode at 10 AM. 10-10-10-10. Could you make a premiere time any more perfect? I also read online that they were doing something special at the NY Comic Book Convention. It all made sense. I told the boys about the extra 10.
On Thursday October 7th Lauren and I agreed to let Max and Wyatt's best buddy, G, sleep over on that coming Saturday, so they could all watch the new Ben 10 together. More happy dances.
"G is sleeping over. Yeah. G is sleeping over. Yeah. G is sleeping over. Yeah."
Still the best dad. My NASDAQ rating split and then shot through the roof.
On Friday October 8th I perfected and tested my Candy Corn Pancakes recipe. The boys loved them. I told them I would be making them again on 10-10-10 day for the Ben 10 sleep over marathon. No happy dances but my best dad in the whole world rating was clearly unmatched.
Saturday October 9th was blur of soccer games, food shopping, house work, chores and other activities that were all done with smiles and whistles. G came over. The boys ate pizza and played and watched a movie. They were excited to wake up and spend the morning in their pajamas and eat sugary breakfast and snacks and watch Ben 10. Life did not get any better than that for a kid.
I was enjoying my spot at the top of the father charts. It was like I could do no wrong. Life did not get much better than that for a dad.
The next morning I woke up and turned on the TV to Cartoon Network. Ben 10 was not on. I checked the Verizon Fios guide and saw that Ben 10 was not scheduled to come on for any time in the morning. I felt a sense of dread overcome me but shook it off knowing that sometimes the cable guides are wrong. I went to the computer and did some quick Google searches. I found the pages that I read about the Ben 10 Marathon and the times of the shows. I read them again. Yup 10 AM on 10-10-10 is the time. I checked the local TV listings and saw that Ben 10 was not airing in our area until later that afternoon. I thought that it was odd that I had conflicting reports. I went back to the websites I had just read and scrutinized the pages. The dread returned. I had been reading some news articles from some Asia Pacific sources. Apparently Ben 10 is a huge hit in Fiji and Malaysia. The only problem was I did not live in Fiji or Malaysia.
I eventually gathered the boys in the kitchen hoping the smell of melting Candy Corn would soften the blow of the bad news. I explained to them that Ben 10 would be coming on.
"But how come?" They asked.
"I messed up the times." I said.
"But it is 10-10-10. It has to be on."
"It is not coming on until 7 o clock tonight." I explained.
"But how did you mess up?"
I could see the tears of disappointment starting to form in their eyes at the same time I felt my worlds greatest dad status start to plummet. The news was devastating. The kids looked as though I had punched them in the gut. They looked as if their favorite pet had just died. No they looked even worse. They looked as if, as if I , as if I had just told them that Ben 10 would not be on.
I screwed up. My kids were sad. I felt horrible. I did what any father would have done in this situation. I lied.
"Well I did not really mess up. It was the cable company. They messed it up. I called them and they are going to try and fix it but I don't think they will get it to work in time. Here, have some candy corn."
The best dad market crashed that day.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Shopping
It is rare for Lauren and I to go food shopping together. Usually one of us goes to the grocery store while the other stays home with the kids. Every so often though, we go to the Giant Food Store that has the child care play area, drop off the kids and Lauren and I make a date out of food shopping.
We try to make the best of the 90 minutes of free babysitting that the grocery store provides by shopping together, making food choices together, and every so often holding hands while in the canned goods sections. But my favorite part of grocery shopping with my wife is that we try to make each other laugh. Sometimes, during the day to day business of being a family we forget to try make each the other laugh, but not in the food store. The comedy potential is abundant at the grocery store.
I don't know when or how it started but it may have been back in the spring. Lauren from across the produce section held up two cantaloupes in front of her chest and yelled, "Bill, what do you think of these melons?"
The looks from the people around us was awesome. I, of course, burst out laughing.
The rest of that shopping trip became a duel to see who could get the better reaction from the other people shopping. Now whenever we get the chance to food shop together we make it a point to see if we can get a reaction, not only from each other, but also of those around us.
"Hey Lauren, what kind of nuts do you like? In bulk or already in a sack?"
"Bill, I got crabs!"
"Lauren? How do you want the sausage?"
"Bill, get the presliced cheese. I hate it when you cut the cheese at home."
Last week, Lauren and I split up in the store to get the shopping done a bit quicker. I was in the main front aisle, pushing the cart towards where we were going to meet up when she popped out from around the corner of an aisle 4 rows down. Lauren held up a jar a peanut butter.
"I already got some." I hollered to her. I picked up the jar of peanut butter in the cart and held it up for her to see.
She turned to put the jar in her hand back on a shelf. I could see the smirk start to form on her face when she turned back to me, held the jar up in the air and yelled.
"Did you get the big one? You know how I like the big one."
We try to make the best of the 90 minutes of free babysitting that the grocery store provides by shopping together, making food choices together, and every so often holding hands while in the canned goods sections. But my favorite part of grocery shopping with my wife is that we try to make each other laugh. Sometimes, during the day to day business of being a family we forget to try make each the other laugh, but not in the food store. The comedy potential is abundant at the grocery store.
I don't know when or how it started but it may have been back in the spring. Lauren from across the produce section held up two cantaloupes in front of her chest and yelled, "Bill, what do you think of these melons?"
The looks from the people around us was awesome. I, of course, burst out laughing.
The rest of that shopping trip became a duel to see who could get the better reaction from the other people shopping. Now whenever we get the chance to food shop together we make it a point to see if we can get a reaction, not only from each other, but also of those around us.
"Hey Lauren, what kind of nuts do you like? In bulk or already in a sack?"
"Bill, I got crabs!"
"Lauren? How do you want the sausage?"
"Bill, get the presliced cheese. I hate it when you cut the cheese at home."
Last week, Lauren and I split up in the store to get the shopping done a bit quicker. I was in the main front aisle, pushing the cart towards where we were going to meet up when she popped out from around the corner of an aisle 4 rows down. Lauren held up a jar a peanut butter.
"I already got some." I hollered to her. I picked up the jar of peanut butter in the cart and held it up for her to see.
She turned to put the jar in her hand back on a shelf. I could see the smirk start to form on her face when she turned back to me, held the jar up in the air and yelled.
"Did you get the big one? You know how I like the big one."
Sunday, October 10, 2010
...feeling like a fool
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Middle Child Syndrome Medicine.
Wyatt has been going through a phase (I hope its a phase) that whenever he is upset or disappointed he starts spouting off with "I NEVER..." Sometimes I get his frustration and where he is coming from.
"I NEVER get to sit on that spot on the couch."
"I NEVER get to be Batman on the Wii."
"I Never get to go to first grade birthday parties."
Sometimes I don't get where he is coming from and I chalk it up to Middle Child Syndrome.
"I NEVER get to turn off the TV."
"I NEVER get to go to the bathroom first."
"I NEVER get to open the refrigerator door."
Ridiculous things like that.
Wyatt is the middle child. He does not get as much attention as Max does ,due to school work and activities. Nor does he get as much attention as Jackson, who is not yet 2 and needs help with almost everything.
Every now and then I need to remind Wyatt that he is special and that he does get special treatment every so often.
At the end of our Little League season (back in June) one of our coaches, Lee, suggested we have a pizza party at the local firehouse. The coach is one of the chiefs at the fire department and thought the kids would get a kick out of seeing the trucks up close. While we setting up the party Max and I were invited to go for a ride on one of the engine trucks. We of course said yes. We sat in the back and ooh and ahhed like little kids (Max id a little kid) the entire ride.
The pizza party was a huge success. Towards the end of the party the Chief Lee heard me tell Max not to tell Wyatt that we went for a ride on one of the trucks.
"Wyatt will be upset that he did not get to go." I explained to Chief Lee.
"Well, I will make sure that I take Wyatt another time." Lee responded. "When would be a good time?"
"Actually Wyatt's birthday is tomorrow, what are the chances I could bring him by tomorrow?"
Lee, being the good guy that he is, smiled and said. "How about I bring the engine to your house?"
On Wyatt's fourth birthday a fire engine pulled up in front of our house. Chief Lee asked Wyatt if he wanted a ride. Wyatt of course said yes. Chief Lee took Wyatt around the neighborhood with the lights flashing and the siren blaring.
Every now and then, when Wyatt starts with his "I NEVERS", I show him these pictures and I tell him that Max and Jackson never had a fire engine show up for their birthdays.
A ride in a fire engine is definitely good medicine for Middle Child Syndrome.
"I NEVER get to sit on that spot on the couch."
"I NEVER get to be Batman on the Wii."
"I Never get to go to first grade birthday parties."
Sometimes I don't get where he is coming from and I chalk it up to Middle Child Syndrome.
"I NEVER get to turn off the TV."
"I NEVER get to go to the bathroom first."
"I NEVER get to open the refrigerator door."
Ridiculous things like that.
Wyatt is the middle child. He does not get as much attention as Max does ,due to school work and activities. Nor does he get as much attention as Jackson, who is not yet 2 and needs help with almost everything.
Every now and then I need to remind Wyatt that he is special and that he does get special treatment every so often.
At the end of our Little League season (back in June) one of our coaches, Lee, suggested we have a pizza party at the local firehouse. The coach is one of the chiefs at the fire department and thought the kids would get a kick out of seeing the trucks up close. While we setting up the party Max and I were invited to go for a ride on one of the engine trucks. We of course said yes. We sat in the back and ooh and ahhed like little kids (Max id a little kid) the entire ride.
The pizza party was a huge success. Towards the end of the party the Chief Lee heard me tell Max not to tell Wyatt that we went for a ride on one of the trucks.
"Wyatt will be upset that he did not get to go." I explained to Chief Lee.
"Well, I will make sure that I take Wyatt another time." Lee responded. "When would be a good time?"
"Actually Wyatt's birthday is tomorrow, what are the chances I could bring him by tomorrow?"
Lee, being the good guy that he is, smiled and said. "How about I bring the engine to your house?"
On Wyatt's fourth birthday a fire engine pulled up in front of our house. Chief Lee asked Wyatt if he wanted a ride. Wyatt of course said yes. Chief Lee took Wyatt around the neighborhood with the lights flashing and the siren blaring.
Every now and then, when Wyatt starts with his "I NEVERS", I show him these pictures and I tell him that Max and Jackson never had a fire engine show up for their birthdays.
A ride in a fire engine is definitely good medicine for Middle Child Syndrome.
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Pooped
This morning I ran my first official 5 K race/run. I say official because I actually wore one of the number things on my shirt. The proceeds from the run benefit Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and Ryan and Jack fighting back. If you feel so inclined go to their website and donate.
This was the first year they held the race so the turn out was somewhat small in comparison to other runs I have attended. But this was the first race I have ever entered and although I was disappointed with my time I did place first in my age group which was Blue Eyed Men Born Between May and July 1970. That's right the rest of the dudes in that category ate my dust.
I pushed myself pretty hard during the race and then when I finished I ate my body weight in soft pretzels and Dunkin Donut Munchkins.
This was the first year they held the race so the turn out was somewhat small in comparison to other runs I have attended. But this was the first race I have ever entered and although I was disappointed with my time I did place first in my age group which was Blue Eyed Men Born Between May and July 1970. That's right the rest of the dudes in that category ate my dust.
I pushed myself pretty hard during the race and then when I finished I ate my body weight in soft pretzels and Dunkin Donut Munchkins.
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