Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Always Someone Cooler

Recently I read an article about how "old" people are ruining "new" inter-net sensations like Facebook and Twitter.

The article explained how "Kids" today are upset with the fact that their parents are signing up for Twitter and Facebook accounts. Twitter and Facebook was the playground for the youngsters and they are annoyed that mom is trying to "follow" or "friend" them. The article claimed that both Twitter and Facebook are gaining popularity with the Baby Boomers and the 35 plus demographic and that is a demo that advertisers want. It is only a matter of time before the kids find a new inter-net hangout.

I read the article to Lauren and we joked that once something becomes mainstream it is no longer "cool". She laughed and said, "I felt the same way about grunge music. Nobody listened to grunge at all except for me and a few of my friends. Then, one day, it is all the rage and I felt robbed of good music."

I nodded in agreement. "I felt the same way when the movie Batman came out in 89. All of the sudden everyone is a Batman fan. It became cool to like comic books. I felt robbed of a good super hero."

Lauren laughed and she kind of gave me a look that could have been sarcastic and patronizing. "Uhmm. Yeah. Like that." She said.

Apparently I am not as cool as I think.

Monday, June 29, 2009


Twelve years ago I met Lauren. Twelve years ago was our first date.

Twelve years ago I fell in love. I am still falling.

She is better than a nice MLT- a mutton lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe...they're so perky. I love that.
Also twelve years ago I used Just For Men on my goatee.

Thursday, June 25, 2009


I have been working on trying to get eveything lined up for the new look of Poop and Boogies. By working I mean I have called two people; one to design the look and feel of the blog and the other person to do the installation. I am treating this process kind of like how the recipe of Krispy Kreme donuts is handled, not one person has all the ingredients/recipe, that way it is a big secret.

Before I work out the final details I wanted to see if anyone who reads this blog has any suggestions or recommendations. I am looking for feedback. If you would be so kind, could you answer a few questions for me?

1. What other blogs do you read? Why?

DOS. As far as overall look and feel (design) what are your favorite blogs?

Trois. How do you get to, or read Poop and Boogies? Do you come through Facebook? Twitter? Do you have it bookmarked or linked? Google Reader? Or subscription?

Fore. How did you find P & B? Was it a link in someones sidebar? Did you click on a comment or link in some one's post?

V. What kind of stories do you like to read here? Funny? Serious? About my kids? About my childhood? What would you like to see here?

Rocky 6. What don't you like about this site?

7. Would you recommend Poop and Boogies to a friend? If so would you feel weird telling your friend to go read Poop and Boogies? Seriously, you are at a bar with your buddy or at the water cooler at work, would you be able to say "Poop and Boogies" with a straight face? If yes, please tell your friends to visit.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Saving Body Parts

Lauren and I were talking about the boys playing with their toys.

"I was playing with Max and Wyatt, with their guys, and I was amazed that they just want to keep smashing the guys together."

"I know. Wyatt's fingers kept getting hurt."

"I guess it is a boy thing. Bill, can you do me a favor?" Lauren asked. "When a toy breaks, just throw it out. You know, if it is broken beyond repair."

"Sure." I said.

"I keep finding broken toys."

I know. I have habit of saving all the broken pieces. Then I forget what they go to and I hold onto them. I end up carrying the pieces in my pockets for days hoping to discover what they belong to. As soon as I throw out the little piece, the very next day I realize what toy it went to."

"Well, for now on, just throw the stuff out." Lauren said.

She then added, "Tomorrow I am going to go through their figure box and look for all the miscellaneous body parts."

This is a picture of the current contents of my pocket...

...and miscellaneous body parts.

Monday, June 22, 2009


Lauren took this picture of her and Jackson. It is one of my favorite photos. I don't remember Max or Wyatt being thumb suckers.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Kid Libs

There is a way of speaking about/to kids that only a parent can do. Talking just a little bit louder than normal, stressing the kids name to get their attention, then leading the conversation down a path, with dramatic pauses, so that the kid will try to fill in the blanks in the line of the conversation. This usually happens when one parent is trying to tell the other parent about the days events. Well, I think of these conversations as Kid Libs; like a live version of Mad Libs.

There are two versions of the Kid Libs. When something good has happened, the parent builds the story stressing positive words and uses a slightly higher pitch when describing the events. The result is met by the third party in the conversation giving praise.

Mom: And then after Wyatt ate all of his lunch, he even ate his carrot sticks, he went into the bathroom all by himself and he_________

Wyatt: Went pee on the potty.

Dad: Yay. All right! Give me a high five.

The other version is when something bad happened. When it is bad the parent speaks in a straight monotone voice, stressing bad events or negative words in a loud whisper, where the dramatic pause is sometimes preceded by a question in the hopes the child will admit to the crime or mistake to the third party.

Mom: After I told Wyatt he could not have dessert because he would not eat his chicken, he threw his fork, stormed into the living room and then proceeded to, what did you do in the living room? He took a crayon and he_______

Wyatt: Drawed on the coffee table.

Dad: You know you are not supposed to do that.

I love when the Kid Libs end in unexpected results.

Where a good story becomes even better.

Mom: Max was so helpful today. He helped me change the baby's diaper and he helped with dinner and he helped with______

Max: Mommy's workout. We did sit-ups.

Or when a good story ends up in throwing Dad under the bus.

Dad: The boys were so good in the store this morning. They were well behaved. They helped put the groceries in the cart and they even helped_______

Max: Dad eat a bag of Cheetos on the way home.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


When Max broke his Femur he stayed in the hospital for two nights. Before they would release Max he had to meet certain physical criteria (like fitting into a car seat and wheelchair) and Lauren and I had to meet with various hospital staff members to learn how to care for the broken leg.

One of the parental requirements for release was for us to watch a 20 minute video on hip-spica casts. Lauren watched it the day before and I was required to watch it the day we were meeting with the physical therapist and other staff. The video was a typical cheesy hospital production of the "dos and don'ts" of care giving for hip-spica cast. Part of the video explained that although movement is limited with this type of cast it is important for the patient to lay in different positions to prevent bed sores and itching. The video instructed us to use pillows and bean bags and other things to position the patient. It also showed people with this type of cast in all various positions.

Later, the woman physical therapist, the female nurse, Lauren and myself were going over all the release papers. The physical therapist was going through a checklist to make sure all criteria was met. Car seat-check. Wheelchair-check. Pillow-check. She then asked us if we had seen the video.

"She watched it yesterday." I said pointing to Lauren. "And I just watched it today."

"Which one did you see?" Asked the therapist.

"I am not sure what it was called." I said.

"There are two videos and I need to verify you saw the correct one."

And this is the moment that I say things that I shouldn't say in public.

"I am not sure what the title was but the video I watched was like the Kama Sutra of hip-spica casts." I said.

The room became silent. I could hear each of the women's eyeballs shift from side to side looking at each other as if asking "did he just say what I think he said?" but not wanting to admit to knowing what the Kama Sutra is. Awkward.

And in typical fashion in these circumstances, Lauren sighed one of those sighs, which from where I stand sounds like a mixture of embarrasment and disbelief that she married me with a hint of "here we go again."

Monday, June 15, 2009

Lord's Prayer

GoodNites has offered me an opportunity to host a contest. If you enter the contest you have a chance to win GoodNites Bedtime Kit which includes a $100 gift certificate to Pajamagram.com, a $50 gift certificate to Borders as well as a blanket, journal, and tote bag from GoodNites. Something like this.

Contest Rules: Go to SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and share a special bedtime moment shared by you and your family (can be a story, tip for getting kids to sleep or rundown of your nighttime routine), along with a picture. (My brother Anonymous is totally snickering right now).

Copy the URL of your shared bedtime moment from SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and (the URL copy may not work so please copy and paste your story in my comments) or tell me which story is yours (to let me know that you participated). In a few weeks I will pick the post that I liked best and announce the winner. I will have the same contest two more times between now and mid August.

Disclamier: I have partnered with GoodNites for this series of posts; I am being compensated for writing about my family's bedtime routine and for promoting this contest, not for endorsing a product.The Lord's Prayer
I put Maxfield and Wyatt to bed every night. Once Max is settled in the top bunk I lay down next to Wyatt in the bottom bunk and we say prayers. I try to start off the prayers by asking the kids what we are thankful for that day. After we thank God for the “Back Yardigans”, “gummy worms” or “the black Spiderman” we go through a list of family and friends and ask for blessings for them. Sometimes we add a couple of special blessing requests for people we know who are sick or need some extra attention from the big guy.

We always finish our prayers by saying the Lord’s Prayer. I usually start the prayer and the kids repeat after me. Every night I crack up at Wyatt’s version of the Lord’s Prayer. He either repeats what he thinks I said or whatever is on his mind at that particular part of the prayer. What follows is a compilation fo the various things he has said during the “Our Father.”

Our Father

Our Father

Who art in heaven

Who draws art in heaven

Hallowed be thy Name.

Hallowed be YOUR Name

Thy kingdom come

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

Thy willby done, Dad who is Willby?

On Earth as it is in heaven

On Earth and in Uncle Kevin

Give us this day

Give us today

Our daily bread

Our daily bread with butter

And forgive us our trespasses

And forgive us our tresspassesesseses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

I am not going to say that part. Who is Willby?

And lead us not into temptation

And lead us into temptation

But deliver us from evil

And deliver us our evil



There are nine other bloggers who are participating in this contest. The Blogger who sends the most readers who post on SpecialBedtimeMoments.com can receive $1000.00 in children’s books to donate to the charity of their choice. I think I would donate the books to the SPCA because I believe that if dogs and cats could learn to read they would not need to be placed in homes. They also could probably go out and get jobs and be productive members of our society. Then I realized that the job market is pretty rough right now and we would not want some felines taking what jobs that are available so I would most likely donate the books to a children’s Hospital (not a hospital run by children but one that treats children) or maybe a needy school.

So go and post and leave me a comment.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Super Day

Wyatt Blue turns three on June 11th. If you are new here you can read his story here and here and here see early pictures here and here.

Most three-year-olds have two identities. Wyatt does as well. One is sweet and funny and innocent and affectionate and the other is dark and moody and stubborn and yelly.

He is the middle child and I know it will give him a complex. Happy Birthday Wyatt Blue.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Cease and Desist

I received a letter from the Intellectual Property Counsel from Campbell's Soup. In a nut shell they are asking me to change my blog header so the casual reader is not misled into thinking that Campbell's is associated or endorses my blog. They also want to make sure that there is no misunderstanding from the casual reader that there is an actual flavor of Campbell's Soup called Poop and Boogies.

At first I was a little worried because I am not sure where the law stands on parody and trademark. Then I was all "Big company trying to squash the little guy and his little blog too. This is an outrage!" But then I realized I was actually happy that Campbell's has discovered my blog and that they expressed concern with the header. I just hope that the people there are reading and enjoying my posts.

Actually, the Intellectual Property Counsel at Campbell's' have been very nice and I understand their concerns. They even suggested a few simple changes to keep the header somewhat intact but not so close to their trade dress.

So, where does that leave me? Well, it is time for a change. I am just not sure what kind of change. Do I do a complete overhaul? Do I just change the header? I don't even know how to do this stuff. This is where I need help.

I want to stay with the food motif but I am not sure what kind of food label. Any suggestions? Does anyone who reads Poop and Boogies work for a food company that will actually endorse my blog? Will they pay me? I already tried Frank's Hot sauce, which is my favorite, but they declined (they sent me coupons though).

Does anyone know anyone that can help with an overhaul? How much does something like that cost? I want to stay with Blogger because the idiot curve leans in my favor but I don't know the first thing about html or design or interfaces and flux-capacitors.

How do you suggest I change the site? What would you like to see? Please help.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Memory Lane

I have been either thrown-up on, spit on, or peed on at least once, every day, for the past 16 days.

It kind of reminds me of the time I used to work in an after hours nightclub.