Jewish-ish

Susan is a friend of mine since childhood and while we were growing up she always invited me, the Catholic, to her Jewish family's celebrations. I attended various nights of Hanukkah and many Passover Seder dinners at her house that Susan's Uncle Kenny knighted me an Honorary Jew. He told me that after someone attends enough events with his family that by default they are Jewish-ish enough. He may have given me the honorary Jew title just because he wanted me to keep coming back to the Post Seder dinner poker games that I usually lost.

Susan still invites my family, more so my kids, to her house to celebrate and learn about Hanukkah with her daughter Estella. We have attended the past two years and the kids would exchange small gifts and my boys would get to light the Menorah and play Dreidel and eat chocolate "gelt" coins.

Last night Max told me that they were learning about Hanukkah in school.

"What did you learn about Hanukkah?" I asked.

"Nothing new." he said. "I already knew it all."

"Really?"

"Yeah, from Estella's house."

"Oh." I replied.

"Are there any Jewish kids in your class?" Lauren asked Max.

"No."

"How do you know?"

"The teacher asked if anyone in the class celebrated Hanukkah and I was the only one to say yes."

I laughed.

"The teacher asked if I was Jewish." Max added, "I told her no, but my friend Estella is, and that is where we celebrate Hanukkah."

I need to get Estella's Great-Uncle Kenny to knight Max.

Lord's Prayer

GoodNites has offered me an opportunity to host a contest. If you enter the contest you have a chance to win GoodNites Bedtime Kit which includes a $100 gift certificate to Pajamagram.com, a $50 gift certificate to Borders as well as a blanket, journal, and tote bag from GoodNites. Something like this.

Contest Rules: Go to SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and share a special bedtime moment shared by you and your family (can be a story, tip for getting kids to sleep or rundown of your nighttime routine), along with a picture. (My brother Anonymous is totally snickering right now).

Copy the URL of your shared bedtime moment from SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and (the URL copy may not work so please copy and paste your story in my comments) or tell me which story is yours (to let me know that you participated). In a few weeks I will pick the post that I liked best and announce the winner. I will have the same contest two more times between now and mid August.

Disclamier: I have partnered with GoodNites for this series of posts; I am being compensated for writing about my family's bedtime routine and for promoting this contest, not for endorsing a product.The Lord's Prayer
I put Maxfield and Wyatt to bed every night. Once Max is settled in the top bunk I lay down next to Wyatt in the bottom bunk and we say prayers. I try to start off the prayers by asking the kids what we are thankful for that day. After we thank God for the “Back Yardigans”, “gummy worms” or “the black Spiderman” we go through a list of family and friends and ask for blessings for them. Sometimes we add a couple of special blessing requests for people we know who are sick or need some extra attention from the big guy.

We always finish our prayers by saying the Lord’s Prayer. I usually start the prayer and the kids repeat after me. Every night I crack up at Wyatt’s version of the Lord’s Prayer. He either repeats what he thinks I said or whatever is on his mind at that particular part of the prayer. What follows is a compilation fo the various things he has said during the “Our Father.”

Our Father

Our Father

Who art in heaven

Who draws art in heaven

Hallowed be thy Name.

Hallowed be YOUR Name

Thy kingdom come

Thy kingdom come

Thy will be done

Thy willby done, Dad who is Willby?

On Earth as it is in heaven

On Earth and in Uncle Kevin

Give us this day

Give us today

Our daily bread

Our daily bread with butter

And forgive us our trespasses

And forgive us our tresspassesesseses

As we forgive those who trespass against us

I am not going to say that part. Who is Willby?

And lead us not into temptation

And lead us into temptation

But deliver us from evil

And deliver us our evil

Amen

AAAAAAAmen.

There are nine other bloggers who are participating in this contest. The Blogger who sends the most readers who post on SpecialBedtimeMoments.com can receive $1000.00 in children’s books to donate to the charity of their choice. I think I would donate the books to the SPCA because I believe that if dogs and cats could learn to read they would not need to be placed in homes. They also could probably go out and get jobs and be productive members of our society. Then I realized that the job market is pretty rough right now and we would not want some felines taking what jobs that are available so I would most likely donate the books to a children’s Hospital (not a hospital run by children but one that treats children) or maybe a needy school.

So go and post and leave me a comment.

Mean Lady at the Church

I took this picture on Saturday May 2nd at about 11:46 AM. At the bottom of the picture is Wyatt and his cousin Valera playing nicely in the pew in front of me and Valera's mom (my sister) at their cousin's First Holy Communion.

2 Minutes Before That -My sister and I were still fighting some serious church giggles.

3 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start fighting some church giggles at the thought that the people in the pew in front of our kids probably think that Wyatt and Valera are my sister-in-law's kids. We wonder if our sister-in-law is mortified since it is her parish.

2 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start laughing at the fact that we are the Godparent's of one of the 1st Holy Communion recipients. What kind of example are we setting.

1 Minute Before That- My sister and I start laughing. In shock, but laughing.

1 Minute Before That-My anger passes.

30 Seconds Before That-I contemplate how many Hail Marys and Our Fathers I would have to say for committing the action I was just thinking about a minute ago. In Church.

1 Minute Before That- I want to smack the lady in the orange top (in the picture) in the face for treating my kid that way.

2 Minutes Before That -The woman in the orange shirt in front of Wyatt and Valera, in the most hag-like, nasty, witchy way, without warning, turns to Wyatt and Valera, who are two and 4 years old, gives them the evil eye and hisses, "SSSSHHHHHushhhhh." louder than the volume in which Wyatt and Valera were talking. She was flat out mean. Nasty. Shocking.

3o Seconds Before That- Wyatt turns to Valera in a surprised voice and says "I just heard it again. Where did that come from?" They giggle.

5 Seconds Before That - The second ringing of the Sanctus Bells.

1 Minute Before That Wyatt hears the ringing of bells and says in a surprised voice "What was that?" He and Valera start discussing where the bell noise came from.

2 Seconds Before That-The first ringing of the Sanctus Bells.

5 Minutes Before That-My sister makes a comment about how good Wyatt and Valera are behaving in church. I make a comment about how pleased I am with Wyatt's behavior.

15 Minutes Before That-Wyatt does not like sitting with me and moves to the pew in front of me where he can sit with Valera and my sister-in-law and her kids.

5 Minutes Before That-Wyatt finishes all of his distraction snacks and juice.

3 Minutes Before That- We watch the procession of the children making their 1st Holy Communion. My God daughter is the prettiest one.

8 Minutes Before That- My sister and her daughter Valera arrive. My sister sits next to me and Valera sits in the pew in front of us with the other children.

2 Minutes Before That- Wyatt is slightly antsy but behaving himself in the crowded church. He has a new book and sits quietly next to me in the pew.

6 Minutes Before That- Wyatt and I sit in a pew directly behind my sister-in-law (my brother Anonymous' wife) her children, her sisters and their kids.

30 Minutes Before That- My sister-in-law gives Wyatt a new book for him to look at when we are in church.

One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Six Years(give or take a couple of years) Before That - Matthew and Simon the Zealot get a serious case of the "Last Supper" giggles. No one shushed them.

Some Time Before That -"And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them and heal them: and his disciples rebuked them."

"But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."

Dictionary dot com's definition of Rebuke.- Verb-to express sharp, stern disapproval of; reprove; reprimand.

I don't think the the lady-in-orange knows this, but she displeased Jesus. Wyatt and Valera were angels and merely having a conversation about the service which is what I think church should be like for children. I know she was trying to be reverent and all holy roller like by trying to shush kids in church but she was just downright mean and nasty. I wonder if I did smack her if she would have been reverent and holy and turned the other cheek.

Illegitimate Children

I have been making arrangements for Jackson's baptism. I wanted to register with St. Johns, the parish that I belonged to as a kid, and I needed to finagle a paper work switch with the parish where I am supposed to go. I called the rectory at St. Johns and I spoke with Father R. and told him of the registration switch. In an effort to facilitate a quicker move Father R. asked me to register over the phone with him until the proper paper work made it's way to his office.

Father R. asked for the basic info such as address, family members, D.O.B etc. etc. He then wanted some background information about which sacraments I received.


Baptism-Check

First Penance-Check

Holy Communion-Check

Confirmation-Check

Marriage - well this is where it got interesting.

When father R. asked about the sacrament of marriage I explained that Lauren and I were not married in a Catholic Church. I did tell him we were married by a Catholic Priest we found on the Internet who left the priesthood to start a family.

Father R. then advised me that there was a good chance Lauren and I were not legally married. He told me of some local recent court cases where ex-priests who officiated wedding ceremonies were never legally registered with the state. He asked me if I would like to have a service at the church to bless my marriage and make sure it was all documented. I told him I would check with Lauren and let him know. Father R. urged that I investigate the legality of my wedding documents. Legally, he said, my marriage may not be recognized by the state and that my marriage is not really recognized by the Catholic church.

I, of course, could not let this opportunity for a joke go to waste and I said, "Are you saying there is a chance I am not married? You mean that I am single again. Woo hoo! Easy way to get rid of the ol' ball and chain. You know what I mea...I guess...uhmm you wouldn't....never mind."

He did not laugh and again suggested that me and Lauren to set up a time for a marriage blessing service.

We then got back to discussing dates for Jackson's baptism. We talked about the Godparents and requirements and whatnot and every time Father R mentioned Jackson's name I had to fight the urge to refer to Jackson as "that Little Bastard".