Thursday, April 26, 2012


I like Batteries. I like them of all sizes but I prefer C Batteries and 9 Volt batteries. You know what you are getting with these. They have their functional uses but are also designed for more fun equipment. They usually fit perfectly, with the round nub like terminals facing the same way (not all flip floppy back and forth + to - needing six to get the job done, like Double and Triple As). The C and 9 Volt batteries do not need springs to keep them in place They are easier to store and have a good heft to them. What can I say, I have a preference.

When I was younger and less mature I used to equate bra sizes to batteries well, actually the size of what was int he bra. D-cell batteries, the largest of  common household batteries, used to power large flashlights, mega-phones and large radios, were equivalent as a D Cup bra. C-cell batteries, the next size down, the most versatile and widely used batteries for fun things like remote control cars, toy trucks and other cool toys were equal to a C Cup. There is no B size battery so I called the B Cup a 9-Volt. 9 Volt batteries are most commonly used for smoke detectors, Walkie-Talkies and RC controllers. The 9Volt was fun but also had a practical side.  Of course the smallest of the common batteries are the AA (double A) and AAA (triple A) batteries which are used in cameras, small electronics, TV remote controls and min-flashlights. Nothing great but they got the job done.

Now read the first paragraph again.

Since the beginning the of the year my wife and I have been making a concerted effort to exercise, eat better, and lose weight. As of this posting Lauren has lost over 20 lbs and I am down 14. I do not think Lauren was ever in a position that she needed to lose any weight but I support her decision to get trimmer and more fit. Not only does Lauren run 40 miles or so a week but she also does weight lifting. She looks great. The best part of her look is the smile she wears from the confidence she now has now that she is more comfortable in her body. A side effect of the weight loss though has been she has not been able to determine where on her body she is losing weight. Let me just say, when I met her, before kids, she was the power of a toy truck. Now she powers digital cameras.

 MYy workouts have only consist of running. I have lost weight in my legs, belly and hips. But since I do not do any weight training the upper part of my body is looking rather large and flabby. I ran a 10 mile race last weekend where professional photographers were shooting pics of runners for purchase. The day after the race I went to the photography website to check out if I was in any of the pictures. I was horrified at what I saw. The combination of the light rain and sweat made my shirt stick to my chest. Let's say I could power a boom box.

I need to figure out a way to support my Man-Batteries.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Training Days

I have said in the past that whoever coined the phrase "terrible twos" never had a three year old.

Jackson at 3 and half is quickly moving out of toddler hood and shifting to being a little boy. Having two older brothers is getting him advanced placement classes into boyhood. Jackson knows all about stick weapons. He has perfected sand/dirt/mud throwing. He loves the word "butt" and uses it often to get a laugh. He can whine "that's no fair" like the best of them. He loves to fart and is proud of it.  And recently Jackson has learned how to spit. He spits on everything. His distance needs a little work but he is doing great with his accuracy. Lauren and I have been guiding Jackson through this transition with lots of deep sighs, eye rolls, slow growling statements of "What. did. you. do.", and plenty of time-outs.

When Jackson turned three we thought that was a good time for him to give up his pacifier. That was a struggle which we are still dealing with. Although Jax has not had a binky in 4 months, he still suffers serious withdraw and ends up sleeping in our bed most nights. At first it was okay with us because we understood that he needed comfort. Now we are trying to break him of sleeping-in-our-bed habit.

Part of the transition into boyhood, which he has no interest in figuring out, is learning to use the toilet for its designed purpose. He already knows how to put toys in it, splash in it and of course spit in it but actually getting him to go on it is going to be a challenge.

Potty training is tough work. Once a boy thinks he has learned to go by himself they want nothing to do with diapers. There are lots of accidents and messes to clean. One of the big headaches of training is the night time accidents. Changing sheets and pajamas at 3 in the morning sucks. GoodNites , the makers of bed wetting underwear, have a new product out called the BedMats, which I just know will help with the middle of the night clean-ups. Although the BedMats were made with older kids in mind (ages 4 to 6), I am going to be using them while training Jackson. They appear easy to use, easy to clean up, and fit typical standard twin beds. GoodNites does not recommend the use of BedMats for children under the age of three.

GoodNites is about building a kid's confidence and educating parents about the issues of bed wetting. I have partnered with GoodNites in the past, they make a great product and have great information on their website. They agreed to send me a trial pack of BedMats. The BedMats are 2.5 ft by 3ft in size. They seem to adhere to the sheets just fine and they are much quieter than I thought they would be (sometimes plastic makes that swoosh-swoosh noise). GoodNites BedMats , are great to take on sleepovers or on vacation just for the added protection to grand mom's guest room mattress. I have not tried them yet on my bed but the size is perfect to fit between my wife and I, which is where Jackson spends most of his nights.

GoodNites has offered me the opportunity to give away a trial pack of their BedMats along with a Confidence Booster kit, which includes a sheet set, a clock and a $50- Visa Gift Card to one of the readers of Poop and Boogies. If you would like a chance to win this cool little prize pack just leave me a comment here, or on Facebook before midnight April 18th. I will select one random comment for the prize. Please make sure you leave me a valid way to contact you if you are chosen. Even if you don't need the BedMats  a $50- Visa Gift Card is cool.

If you don't know what to leave as a comment I suggest a poem. This is an old poem. "Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what little boys are made from. Sugar and spice, and everything nice, that's what little girls are made from."

This is my poem to describe Jackson.
Smiles and Wit and lots of Spit. That's what Jackson is made from.

Using the same format describe your kid.

“GoodNites® provided me with a pack of GoodNites® Bed Mats and a Confidence Booster Kit to conduct a reader giveaway. However, my opinions on the product are entirely my own and I have not been paid to publish positive sentiments towards GoodNites® or their products.”

Thursday, April 12, 2012

To the Rescue

Some of the following story may be embellished just a bit.

You know the saying "the camera adds 10 pounds",  I believe there should be an addition to that stating pictures posted to Facebook add another ten.

In an effort to lose two of the three chins I have, I decided to make a concerted effort to lose 18 pounds. That is 9 pounds a chin. The best way to lose weight is a combination of diet and exercise.

Almost every day, I take my lunch hour and run between 3 and 5 miles at very nice township park close to my office. The park has various paths of different distances that circle, cut through, criss-cross and interweave the playground, soccer fields, pavilions and small preserved wooded and grass nature areas. The largest paved path circles the perimeter of the 100 acre park with a lap distance of 1.2 miles.

I think I recently posted about how I have been running with Vibram Five Finger Shoes which causes a few stares and a few questions from other people at the park.

On very cold days I also wear a Balaclava , long dark parts and a long sleeved dark running shirt. Some days I look like a ninja with iPod wires dangling out of my neck.

About a month ago I went on my lunch time run on a very cold but sunny say. I was making great time with my first mile at an 8:15 pace. I ran past the main pavilion and started to make the first turn that headed towards the nature areas. About 10 yards ahead of me I noticed a big bunch of keys in the middle of the path. Without missing a step and keeping pace I gracefully swept up the keys in my right hand. I knew someone would be in desperate need of these keys. I figured I would get back to the parking lot and see if anyone was missing keys. Or I could hit the panic button on the key fab setting off the alarm and wait to see who would claim the large heavy key filled ring. It was cold day so the park was not that crowded.

I made the second turn on the outer path which tucks behind some tall grasses and clusters of trees. This part of the track also dips down off of a small knoll for about 150 yards. This is only part of the track that is not visible from the main park. I looked up ahead and noticed a blond woman, about 50 years old, walking towards me. She had a worried look on her red face. Her hand was placed across her upper chest and she was clearly out of breath. I held up the keys and yelled, "DID YOU LOSE YOUR KEYS?"

She nodded.  A faint look of relief replaced the wrinkles on her face. As I ran closer I realized that the woman was Marion from my office.

I slowed down and handed her the keys. I started to run in place.


She shook her head and gave me a perturbed look.


I nudged her elbow and made her turn in the direction I was heading. She resisted. Her eyes went wide. I gave her a funny look and realized that since I had my Balaclava on she did not recognize me. This is what she saw.

I quickly removed the mask. Her look went from worried to perplexed to embarrassed.

"C'MON LET'S RUN. WE'LL FINISH UP OVER BY," I turned down the volume on my ipod, " THE PARking lot."

She turned and started to jog with me. We ran about fifty yards when she started to cough and wheeze. She sounded horrible. Red blotches bloomed from her cheeks and tears filled her eyes.

"I can't do this." She rasped, sounding like an old lady who had smoked for 60 years. She stumbled.

With lightning like reflexes I reached out and steadied her preventing her from falling. I slowed down and asked if she was okay.

"I...can't...breath." She choked out.

We were at the point on the path that was the furthest away from the parking lot. I stopped running.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Marion explained, between huffing and puffing, that she too was running on the path but was overcome with an asthma attack. She started towards her car when she realized she lost her keys. She had to backtrack to find them. She then started to panic because she was alone, couldn't breath, she was the furthest point away from he car, and was in a spot where no one could see her if she passed out. She was happy to see me with her keys but did not know who I was. Besides the balaclava, the tighter running shirt and pants and my muscular physique must have thrown her off. When she discovered it was someone she knew she was embarrassed.

I escorted her across the fields and made sure she made it back to the office.

Basically, as I like to tell her almost everyday, I saved her life. I was like a superhero, mask and all.

I have tried a few different websites to monitor my diet. The two I liked best were SlimKicker and Lose It. My wife Lauren is having great success with Lose It (she has worked off about 20lbs) and that is now my preferred calorie counting site. So far I am down 1 chin.

Wednesday, April 04, 2012


A day does not go by that I do not think of her. Some days I miss her, other days I feel indifferent, but I still think of her. She was a big part of my life.

She was part of my life when I met Lauren. At first Lauren was okay with her being around but as time wore on Lauren told me I needed to get rid of her. I tried. I would go a month, maybe two. Then I would see her with someone else and it would remind me of all the good times. I would bring her back. She made me feel good and I always felt I deserved to feel good.

Lauren caught me a few times. Lauren said she could smell her. Lauren would plead with me. I would feel guilty.  I would tell Lauren it was over. And it was. For a month or two. I would go back. I would sneak around trying to find moments to be alone with her.

Lauren and I were married. I did my best not to bring her around. I was starting a new life and did not need the baggage she would bring.

I was sitting in a bar not too long after having our first child. I saw her from across the room. She was dancing with a group of people. The way she gracefully swayed, entangling her way amongst her friends, the way she sparkled, bringing smiles to the faces of the people she was with mesmerized me. I had to have her again.

I missed her. I missed how she made me feel. I missed her scent. I missed the taste of her on my lips. I went back to her. I knew I could not bring her around my children. What would they think? She was a bad influence on me, she would be a bad influence on my kids. But I had to have her.

I went back to sneaking around. I would not see her all the time or as much as I used to but every now and then I would find a way to be with her. I think Lauren knew but she was too busy with the kids to make a argument. I think Lauren wanted to give me some space, let me figure things out.

I finally did. One day I came to realize what was important. I stopped smoking cigarettes four years ago.

I enjoyed smoking. Sure, I was addicted but I enjoyed smoking. Cigarettes were a big part of my life. It was a difficult habit to break. A day does not go by that I do not think of smoking. Some days I miss cigarettes, other days I feel indifferent, but I still think of cigarettes.