To the Rescue

Some of the following story may be embellished just a bit.

You know the saying "the camera adds 10 pounds",  I believe there should be an addition to that stating pictures posted to Facebook add another ten.

In an effort to lose two of the three chins I have, I decided to make a concerted effort to lose 18 pounds. That is 9 pounds a chin. The best way to lose weight is a combination of diet and exercise.

Almost every day, I take my lunch hour and run between 3 and 5 miles at very nice township park close to my office. The park has various paths of different distances that circle, cut through, criss-cross and interweave the playground, soccer fields, pavilions and small preserved wooded and grass nature areas. The largest paved path circles the perimeter of the 100 acre park with a lap distance of 1.2 miles.

I think I recently posted about how I have been running with Vibram Five Finger Shoes which causes a few stares and a few questions from other people at the park.

On very cold days I also wear a Balaclava , long dark parts and a long sleeved dark running shirt. Some days I look like a ninja with iPod wires dangling out of my neck.

About a month ago I went on my lunch time run on a very cold but sunny say. I was making great time with my first mile at an 8:15 pace. I ran past the main pavilion and started to make the first turn that headed towards the nature areas. About 10 yards ahead of me I noticed a big bunch of keys in the middle of the path. Without missing a step and keeping pace I gracefully swept up the keys in my right hand. I knew someone would be in desperate need of these keys. I figured I would get back to the parking lot and see if anyone was missing keys. Or I could hit the panic button on the key fab setting off the alarm and wait to see who would claim the large heavy key filled ring. It was cold day so the park was not that crowded.

I made the second turn on the outer path which tucks behind some tall grasses and clusters of trees. This part of the track also dips down off of a small knoll for about 150 yards. This is only part of the track that is not visible from the main park. I looked up ahead and noticed a blond woman, about 50 years old, walking towards me. She had a worried look on her red face. Her hand was placed across her upper chest and she was clearly out of breath. I held up the keys and yelled, "DID YOU LOSE YOUR KEYS?"

She nodded.  A faint look of relief replaced the wrinkles on her face. As I ran closer I realized that the woman was Marion from my office.

I slowed down and handed her the keys. I started to run in place.

"DO YOU WANT TO RUN TOGETHER?"

She shook her head and gave me a perturbed look.

"C'MON, LET'S GO. YOU CAME OUT HERE TO RUN, RIGHT?"

I nudged her elbow and made her turn in the direction I was heading. She resisted. Her eyes went wide. I gave her a funny look and realized that since I had my Balaclava on she did not recognize me. This is what she saw.

I quickly removed the mask. Her look went from worried to perplexed to embarrassed.

"C'MON LET'S RUN. WE'LL FINISH UP OVER BY," I turned down the volume on my ipod, " THE PARking lot."

She turned and started to jog with me. We ran about fifty yards when she started to cough and wheeze. She sounded horrible. Red blotches bloomed from her cheeks and tears filled her eyes.

"I can't do this." She rasped, sounding like an old lady who had smoked for 60 years. She stumbled.

With lightning like reflexes I reached out and steadied her preventing her from falling. I slowed down and asked if she was okay.

"I...can't...breath." She choked out.

We were at the point on the path that was the furthest away from the parking lot. I stopped running.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

Marion explained, between huffing and puffing, that she too was running on the path but was overcome with an asthma attack. She started towards her car when she realized she lost her keys. She had to backtrack to find them. She then started to panic because she was alone, couldn't breath, she was the furthest point away from he car, and was in a spot where no one could see her if she passed out. She was happy to see me with her keys but did not know who I was. Besides the balaclava, the tighter running shirt and pants and my muscular physique must have thrown her off. When she discovered it was someone she knew she was embarrassed.

I escorted her across the fields and made sure she made it back to the office.

Basically, as I like to tell her almost everyday, I saved her life. I was like a superhero, mask and all.





I have tried a few different websites to monitor my diet. The two I liked best were SlimKicker and Lose It. My wife Lauren is having great success with Lose It (she has worked off about 20lbs) and that is now my preferred calorie counting site. So far I am down 1 chin.

How I Run

So far, in 2011, I have run 303.72 miles. I have ran all of those miles while carrying an iPod Touch (I need music to run) in my left hand with the slack of the earphone cords wrapped around my fingers. Everyday from when I first started running, last year, I told myself I should buy an armband or clip case for my music player. I never did. In the winter my hand froze carrying the iPod. In the summer months, the iPod slips and gets all gross from my sweaty hands.

The other day we went to the Five Below store and I finally bought an armband to carry my music player.

I think the Universal Armband knows a little bit too much about my running.

Except I am also Slow in the light of the day too.

Loser

A few weeks ago Lauren convinced me to run in a 5k race called the St. Patty's Day Shocker. The race raised money to buy defibrillators for the areas public buildings. Hence the name "shocker" as part of the title of race. The run was the Sunday before March 17th, hosted by a local bar, each race participant was going to recieve a free pint of Guinness at the end of the race, hence the "St. Patty's" part of the name. People were encouraged to wear green, dress in costumes or other St. Patty's day themed get ups.

The race met my three criteria for my participation. 1)It was a small race, not too crowded with serious runners although competitive. 2)People in costumes or semi ridiculous outfits (which most runners by default even without trying wear semi-ridiculous outfits). And 3) Beer. By the way these three criteria pretty much are my criteria for participating in anything.

I placed 80th out of 230 with a time of 26:39. Lauren came in 66th place over all. Runners that finished before me included, a 60 year old woman, a man wearing a beer stein hat and some dude who wore a green sequined jump suit. To see pictures you can go here.

Lauren and I enjoyed a breakfast buffet and our Guinness' beers while discussing the course and the competition. Even though neither of us placed in our age groups it was nice to be involved in a race together. There is nothing like good friends and beer to make you feel less like a loser.

Later that same week, Maxfield was involved in a race of his own. His school hosts a pinewood derby race every year which raises money for the Home and School Association. I approached building Max's car with a "it takes a village" mentality. Max drew the shape, Mr V. ,our neighbor, cut it out with a ban saw. I sanded it. Mr. Jones, another neighbor, chiseled the spaces for the weights. Max painted it.

A fine looking car.


The night of the race is a big family event at the school. Mr. V was there helping with the race. Mr. Jones showed up to watch. Lauren and I brought Wyatt along so he could cheer on his brother. High school kids volunteered helping to run the concession stand as well as keeping kids occupied with face painting and crafts.

The way the race is run is similar to a playoff bracket. Races are held within each grade, heat by heat until there is a winner. Then the first grade winner competed against the Kindergarten winner, the 2nd grade winner vs. the third grade winner, 4th grade vs 5th grade, heat by heat until an overall champion is determined. Maxfield won his first heat but was eliminated in the second heat* to his buddy DK. Max was genuinely happy for DK. I was pleased that there were no tears.

During a lull in the racing action Max and Wyatt got their faces painted and we bought Popsicles.

DK went on to compete against G, Max's best buddy who lives up the street. G went on to win 1st grade then compete and win third place overall. Max, Wyatt, DK and G all sat together watching the other races. Each of them happy.

There is nothing like good friends, face painting and Popsicles to make you feel less like a loser.

*Max's car's first race ranked 29 out of 125 races with a time of 3.697 seconds. The over all winners car ranked first and had a best time of 3.588 seconds.

Also the commenter Mindy won the Supercuts gift card contest from a couple of posts ago. Nothing like a haircut to make a you feel less like a loser.

Not a Clarinet

When Lauren and I first started dating Lauren told me a story about how she played the Clarinet when she was in grade school and that she wished she never gave it up. She said she was more interested in learning the piano or guitar now as an adult, but continuing the Clarinet would have given her a good musical foundation. I took a mental note with my mental pen and the following Christmas I bought Lauren a Clarinet. Lauren was appreciative of the gift but the Clarinet sat in a closet for years until we sold it at a garage sale. Somewhere between her first statement about the Clarinet and the second statement I ran out of mental ink. The Clarinet was one of the best/worst presents I have ever given Lauren.

A couple of months ago I asked Lauren what she wanted to do for her birthday, which is this week. Although her birthday is not a milestone birthday or anything I suggested we try to get away for a weekend. I am smart enough not to state her age, but a weekend without the kids would be a nice change of pace to celebrate the eighth anniversary of her 29th birthday. Lauren told me she would love to go shopping/antique-ing, go out to dinner at a nice place "nothing too fancy-schmancy", maybe a little bit of pampering, sleep in, and she would love to be able to go with me on a nice run through the country side or some other scenic place. I took some serious mental notes while she described her perfect weekend.

I checked with my mom to see if she could take the boys overnight one Saturday. She said yes. Checking that off my list made planning everything else easier, or so I thought.

I suggested we look into bed and breakfast places in Lambertville NJ or New Hope PA. Both places are quaint towns on the Delaware River, close to home, with plenty of shopping, restaurants and antique stores. For a few weeks I emailed several places looking for deals or discounts and to see if I could offer advertising space on the blog in exchange for a discounted stay. I learned two things; one, Bed and Breakfasts are expensive and two, my blog has no influence whatsoever. I told Lauren that staying overnight somewhere may be out due to budgetary restraints but since both places were close our house we could always just go back home. My mom would still have the kids and Lauren could sleep in.

This past Friday I used this thing called the Internet and did some searches for discounted B & Bs. There was a place called the Golden Plough Inn in Peddlers Village that was offering a serious discounted rate for one of their deluxe rooms, with a fireplace and Jacuzzi. Peddlers Village is a small village comprised of over 70 plus stores and restaurants adjacent to an small outlet store shopping center located in the heart of Bucks County PA farm country. Lauren and I have been to Peddler's Village dozens of times but we never stayed overnight.

We dropped the kids off at my mom's Saturday at noon and headed out for Lauren's birthday weekend. We walked in and out of antique stores without having to repeat over and over again "don't touch anything in the store." Lauren shopped in the outlet stores and actually tried on several outfits without having to park a stroller in the dressing room. We browsed an art gallery and had a conversation with the owner without once being interrupted by a screaming child. We ate a delicious dinner at a casual restaurant while drinking beer and not once did we have to scooch under the table to search for a missing blue crayon or dropped fork. We went to our room and sipped cheap champagne while sitting in a Jacuzzi.

Lauren relaxing in the Lobby of the Golden Plough Inn.

I reviewed my mental birthday notes. Shopping/Antiques- Check. Non Fancy Schmancy dinner-Check. Jacuzzi equals pampering -Check. Only two more requests to meet to give Lauren her perfect get away; go for a scenic run and sleep in.

Sunday morning we slept in until 6:30 AM. Most people would not consider that sleeping in but it was later than we normally wake up. Lauren looked out the window. It looked like it had rained earlier but now it was only a slight drizzle. We checked the weather channel. It was 53 degrees, perfect for running a nice, scenic, country side farm run together. We started our run at 7:00 AM

At 7:04 AM the skies opened up and we were drenched. Lauren decided that since we were already soaked we may as well continue running, after all it was her birthday wish to run with me. However, there was really no running with me. It was more like her running ahead of me.

We ran down nice country roads. In the pouring rain. I was nervous we would get hit by a car.


There is horse (no I do not mean Lauren) in this picture. In the pouring rain.

My favorite part about Peddler's Village is the names of the stores. I can't help but snicker like a 12 year old.

We ran past Knobs and Knockers (snicker). In the pouring rain.

We ran past the Cock and Bull (snicker). In the pouring rain.

We ran past the Nut Kettle (snicker). In the pouring rain. Do you know where the Nut Kettle is located in Peddler's Village? Just South of the Cock and Bull. I am not kidding.

We ran down some more farm roads. In the pouring rain. My clothes were soaked. I was hot and cold at the same time. I was tired. This was becoming the best/worst present ever.

Do you see how far ahead of me she is? We didn't really run together, it was more like me being nervous, panting, out of breath, just trying to keep up with her. Which after some thought, really sums up how I felt about her when we first met 13 years ago.

Happy Birthday Lauren.

Frost Bits

"Touch it." I said.

"I am not touching that." Lauren said. She knows my tricks and she thought I was trying to, well, get her to touch it. The last time she fell for this trick we ended up with our third boy. And now, after having three boys there is not much time or desire to be touching anything.

"Seriously Lauren, I am not trying any games I need you to touch it. I think it is has frostbite."

Lauren looked down. I was stretching my waistband out so she could get a better look.

"Oh my God!" She said startled. "It is bright red. Are you okay?"

I winced. I was not okay. I was in serious pain. I looked down. I was shocked of how much of it was shrinking up into my belly. Everything they say about shrinkage is true. I reached my hand down and tried to make sure everything was intact. As soon as my fingers touched the tip, the fire helmet, I could feel it all burn. My lower abdomen ached, as did my groin.

"What happened?" Lauren asked.

"I think my pecker is frozen."

I explained how I decided to go for a long run, after all it was early Saturday morning and the sun was coming up. Part of the Half-marathon training program I am trying is to do one long run a week. This was my first true long run. I always wear spandex-moisture wicking pants under a loose fitting, breathable, mesh sweatpants. The rest of my running outfit is various layers depending on the temperature. It was in the low to mid twenties so I bundled up on top wearing new tight fitting vest and running shirts as opposed to the multi-layers of long t-shirts I usually wear.

When I run, I just run away from my house until I feel the need to turn around and head home. I set out that morning intending to do a 6 to 7 mile run. Somewhere around mile 3 and a half, 30 minutes into my run, I could feel my thighs start to numb and a pain throb in my groin. I started heading home, going back the 3 or so miles. I was running into the wind. A cold cold wind.

Somewhere around mile 5 I could tell I was in trouble. Things started to burn and then go numb. I only had two more miles to go. I figured I could just tough it out. The rest of my body was warm and I worked up a really good sweat. Normally when I run my X-tra large T-shirts and other layers would kind of cover the area below my waist. I was not wearing X-tra large shirts. The moisture wicking spandex was taking the moisture away from my body to be frozen by the cold wind blowing through the mesh work-out pants I was wearing. I was freeze drying my bits. And quite frankly after I inspected the area, it, they, had the appearance of freeze dried fruit. The icy feeling put the "icle" in the, you know, "test".

"I gotta go take a shower." I said to Lauren and I hobbled up the steps.

I took off my pants and was amazed and slightly horrified purplish-red color of my upper thighs. From my waist line to my knees was the color of an overcooked ham. Did you ever spend a few hours in the snow making snowmen and snow balls (pun totally intended) and once you go inside your hands start to burn from the temperature change? That is how the shower felt. It burned.

I waited in the hot water for every thing to descend from their un-descended positions. I waited for the red color to soften to a dull pink. Eventually the burning stopped but I could tell there was a slight lack of sensation. There was also a steady ache from the inside of the, well, just the inside of it all.

I have a pain medication that I take on an as needed basis for herniated disks in my neck. Part of the medication has an anti anxiety element to it. When my herniated disks flare up some of the symptoms are similar to that of having a heart attack. The anti-anxiety meds help relieve the panic stricken, chest tightness stress I may feel during the flare up. I did a quick Google search on Frost Bite and after looking at a few pictures of blackened gangrene-semi amputated digits I decided that I should take one of my pain pills.

By the end of the day, when the effects of the medicine wore off, everything seemed to be fine. Later that night Lauren asked me how I felt. She joked that she was going to sew me a fleece or flannel codpiece.

"It seems to be fine." I said. "It stills aches a bit, but otherwise I think it is okay."

"That's good." She said.

"Although maybe we should make sure it is in entirely in working order." I smiled raising my eyebrows.

"Oh. And how should you do that?" She said rolling her eyes.

"Well I have an idea."

She did not fall for any of my tricks.

The next day I asked Lauren if she thought I should blog about my fozen bits.

"Why would you even hesitate? Of course you should." Was her reply.

Inspired

This past May, the 17th of May actually, I started an effort to exercise and lose weight. When I started exactly 4 months ago, I weighed 217 lbs. This morning my weight was 189 lbs. I have been hovering abound the 190 mark for the past three weeks. I still count my caloric intake. I still run 5 days a week. But I have not lost any more weight. I have plateaued. I have hit a wall.

Over the course of the past four months anytime I felt a lack of motivation or uninspired something small would set off a spark to keep me going. Whether is was a reading Black Hockey Jesus' monthly running updates or discovering new music by one of my favorite local bands Find Vienna *or finding a new route to take, something would motivate me to get out the door the next morning.

Lately I have been uninspired. Maybe it is the change of weather. Or maybe it is due to the fact that it is pitch black out at 5AM when I do my runs. Or maybe it is due to the fact that I have plateaued and there are no signs of progress.

I switched my exercise routine from P90x to just running for many various reasons. One of those reasons is that Lauren, my wife, one of my biggest inspirations also runs. I was hoping I would be able to train to get to her pace and that eventually we could run together. It would be something we could do as a couple. Having her as a partner would keep me motivated. But with three young boys in the house doing it together is not an option. There is not enough time in the day for Lauren and I to do it together. I would love to be able to get all hot and sweaty and out of breath with Lauren, but well hiring a babysitter so we could do just that would be kind of weird. Yes I am talking about running. So I am stuck doing it by myself, which is getting kind of boring. (this would be a bad spot to say that occsionally my brother Jim has joined me). I am still talking about running.

Lauren has been training all summer for a half marathon that takes place this Sunday. I plan to go down town and watch her race. I am excited and nervous for her. I also know that when I watch her cross the finish line I will be inspired to run again. She has that affect on me.

*I discovered Find Vienna last year at a first Friday event in our small town. They were playing outside of the music shop. I loved the fact that they were performing their own music and that they were really good. I have been keeping an eye and ear on them ever since. They are really good and I think they are going to have a great future. If you like Maroon 5 or The Script you will like Find Vienna.

Looking out for Buses

Thirty some odd days ago I started an exercises routine/program. Since starting that program I have also taken up running. Here are some of my observations about diet and exercise.

Running sucks.

Dieting sucks.

Exercising is not so bad.

I have become one of those annoying people who does nothing but talk about dieting and exercising.

I really think that people who diet and exercise and say they "lost" weight are selling themselves short. You lose your keys. You lose your cell phone. Dieting and exercising to drop pounds is hard work.

The worst nights to run in my neighborhood are Monday and Thursday nights. Trash night. Trash cans line the street and on hot humid nights the smell from the cans can cause pockets of gag inducing stench. Establishing an inhale-through-the-nose breathing rhythm is very difficult on trash night.

I am down 14 pounds since I started working out. I need to work off another 14.

Counting calories is very difficult. There is no guidebook that tells you how many calories are in the cut off crusts of your kids peanut butter and fluff sandwiches. Or how many calories are in the last few bites of a bowl of Rice Krispies your kid did not finish.

The people you see everyday do not notice your physical changes. It is nice to invite friends over who you have not seen in over a month so they can compliment you on your looks.

I used to be one of those people who would say "What's the point of eating healthy and exercising, I could get hit by a bus tomorrow." Now, I am on the look out for buses as I run across and down the road.

Music choice is very important when running. I noticed I do better when I listen to a "live" album. I imagine that the people cheering in the song are actually cheering for me. I try to time the end of my run to coincide with Peter Gabriel's Solsbury Hill live version. Having "people" cheering is not important for the entire run but it definitely helps at the end of the run so I suggest having at least one 2 to 3 minutes "live" song on the ipod.

I find myself getting more done in other aspects of my life such as yard work, house work, playing with the kids etc. Dieting and working out has giving me more energy for other things.

Speaking of having more energy for other things, does Barry White have a "live" album? You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Again, I would only need a 2 to 3 minute song. (Boom. I just saved you the comment Anonymous.)