Thursday, November 03, 2005

I am not touching you.

The other night we are laying in bed and Lauren is drifting off to sleep. I put my face very close to hers and stare directly at her closed eyes. She senses what I am doing. She opens her eyes. "What?" She says.
"Nothing."
"I'm trying to sleep."
"I know but you do this to me all the time."
"Go to sleep." She closes her eyes.

I stick my finger out just centimeters away from her face and I hold it there. It is just enough for her to sense it without me actually touching her. She slowly opens her eyes, “What are you doing?” she asks somewhat groggy.

“Nothing.”

“Well knock it off. I am trying to sleep.” She closes her eyes.

Thirty seconds later I reach my finger up again just below her eye. Without moving she says, “Knock. It. Off.”

“What? I am not touching you.”

She turns over and mumbles something.

“How come it’s funny when you do it to me?”

Then it hit me.

She plays “I’m not touching you” In bed WAY more than I do.

19 comments:

Kami said...

How old are you guys? ;) If you have more kid, you'll have to deal with more of that.

Ken said...

I'm guessing she'll be playing that game a lot more after she reads this post.

kimmyk said...

LOL @ Homer Jay's comment. I was thinkin' the same thing.

Did ya slug her in the arm then?

Jewl said...

Don't you know not to mess with a woman's sleep who has a kid? Geshhhh! That punch was very much warrented!

Anonymous said...

Welcome to marriage, the post-honeymoon,post-childbirth years.
Wink-wink, nudge-nudge, ya know what I mean

Tammy said...

That is so damn funny!

Spirtswoosh said...

It's as simple as this...women have their own set of rules. They expect us to know these rules but will never share them with us. Oh but the adventures of finding out are what makes life worth living, or will be the death of ya.

Nature Girl said...

OMG Homer jay's comment was almost as funny as your post..I almost spit my coffee! Laughing hysterically! Stacie

Ern said...

Ha! Men. You are all the same.

Random and Odd said...

OH.MY.GOD.

um...you're SO in trouble now!!

Lauren...KICK HIS ASS FOR THAT ONE!!

Shaun likes to try to take my pillows while I am sleeping. I found him cuddled up to the one Lauren made, the girly one.

Unknown said...

Jeez, what is it with men and them having to mess with us while we are trying to sleep!

That kind of stuff will earn you some slightly passive agressive behavior in my house. ;)

Anonymous said...

At least ya'll aren't touching. my hubby feels the need to stick his finger in my ear, or in my mouth- MID YAWN. i would prefer the nontouch that i could completely ignore.
LOL
Ya'll are funny.

The Q said...

Since I'm the one with insomnia, I'm ALWAYS playing that game. 'Cept I touch...sometimes the Hubs doesn't mind and sometimes he does (the hair on his ear usually gets me a mean growl)

Lois Lane said...

You two are too cute!

Margaret said...

too funny...

peace...

eclectic said...

Mrtl: Dutch oven = BAD!! BAD, I tell you!

William: Just tell her that since she doesn't want you to NOT touch her, you'd be GLAD to actually touch her. (Sorry Lauren... I'm breaking rank... I'm with the boys on THIS one.)

Unknown said...

It's nice that you guys can act like kids in bed. I love when my husband gets playful.

Anonymous said...

You guys crack me up!

Milliner's Dream, a woman of many "hats"... said...

Surefire birth control!

Hh