Recently I read an article about how "old" people are ruining "new" inter-net sensations like Facebook and Twitter.
The article explained how "Kids" today are upset with the fact that their parents are signing up for Twitter and Facebook accounts. Twitter and Facebook was the playground for the youngsters and they are annoyed that mom is trying to "follow" or "friend" them. The article claimed that both Twitter and Facebook are gaining popularity with the Baby Boomers and the 35 plus demographic and that is a demo that advertisers want. It is only a matter of time before the kids find a new inter-net hangout.
I read the article to Lauren and we joked that once something becomes mainstream it is no longer "cool". She laughed and said, "I felt the same way about grunge music. Nobody listened to grunge at all except for me and a few of my friends. Then, one day, it is all the rage and I felt robbed of good music."
I nodded in agreement. "I felt the same way when the movie Batman came out in 89. All of the sudden everyone is a Batman fan. It became cool to like comic books. I felt robbed of a good super hero."
Lauren laughed and she kind of gave me a look that could have been sarcastic and patronizing. "Uhmm. Yeah. Like that." She said.
Apparently I am not as cool as I think.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
MLT
Twelve years ago I met Lauren. Twelve years ago was our first date.
Twelve years ago I fell in love. I am still falling.
She is better than a nice MLT- a mutton lettuce and tomato sandwich where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe...they're so perky. I love that.
Also twelve years ago I used Just For Men on my goatee.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Changes
I have been working on trying to get eveything lined up for the new look of Poop and Boogies. By working I mean I have called two people; one to design the look and feel of the blog and the other person to do the installation. I am treating this process kind of like how the recipe of Krispy Kreme donuts is handled, not one person has all the ingredients/recipe, that way it is a big secret.
Before I work out the final details I wanted to see if anyone who reads this blog has any suggestions or recommendations. I am looking for feedback. If you would be so kind, could you answer a few questions for me?
1. What other blogs do you read? Why?
DOS. As far as overall look and feel (design) what are your favorite blogs?
Trois. How do you get to, or read Poop and Boogies? Do you come through Facebook? Twitter? Do you have it bookmarked or linked? Google Reader? Or subscription?
Fore. How did you find P & B? Was it a link in someones sidebar? Did you click on a comment or link in some one's post?
V. What kind of stories do you like to read here? Funny? Serious? About my kids? About my childhood? What would you like to see here?
Rocky 6. What don't you like about this site?
7. Would you recommend Poop and Boogies to a friend? If so would you feel weird telling your friend to go read Poop and Boogies? Seriously, you are at a bar with your buddy or at the water cooler at work, would you be able to say "Poop and Boogies" with a straight face? If yes, please tell your friends to visit.
Before I work out the final details I wanted to see if anyone who reads this blog has any suggestions or recommendations. I am looking for feedback. If you would be so kind, could you answer a few questions for me?
1. What other blogs do you read? Why?
DOS. As far as overall look and feel (design) what are your favorite blogs?
Trois. How do you get to, or read Poop and Boogies? Do you come through Facebook? Twitter? Do you have it bookmarked or linked? Google Reader? Or subscription?
Fore. How did you find P & B? Was it a link in someones sidebar? Did you click on a comment or link in some one's post?
V. What kind of stories do you like to read here? Funny? Serious? About my kids? About my childhood? What would you like to see here?
Rocky 6. What don't you like about this site?
7. Would you recommend Poop and Boogies to a friend? If so would you feel weird telling your friend to go read Poop and Boogies? Seriously, you are at a bar with your buddy or at the water cooler at work, would you be able to say "Poop and Boogies" with a straight face? If yes, please tell your friends to visit.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Saving Body Parts
Lauren and I were talking about the boys playing with their toys.
"I was playing with Max and Wyatt, with their guys, and I was amazed that they just want to keep smashing the guys together."
"I know. Wyatt's fingers kept getting hurt."
"I guess it is a boy thing. Bill, can you do me a favor?" Lauren asked. "When a toy breaks, just throw it out. You know, if it is broken beyond repair."
"Sure." I said.
"I keep finding broken toys."
I know. I have habit of saving all the broken pieces. Then I forget what they go to and I hold onto them. I end up carrying the pieces in my pockets for days hoping to discover what they belong to. As soon as I throw out the little piece, the very next day I realize what toy it went to."
...and miscellaneous body parts.
"I was playing with Max and Wyatt, with their guys, and I was amazed that they just want to keep smashing the guys together."
"I know. Wyatt's fingers kept getting hurt."
"I guess it is a boy thing. Bill, can you do me a favor?" Lauren asked. "When a toy breaks, just throw it out. You know, if it is broken beyond repair."
"Sure." I said.
"I keep finding broken toys."
I know. I have habit of saving all the broken pieces. Then I forget what they go to and I hold onto them. I end up carrying the pieces in my pockets for days hoping to discover what they belong to. As soon as I throw out the little piece, the very next day I realize what toy it went to."
"Well, for now on, just throw the stuff out." Lauren said.
She then added, "Tomorrow I am going to go through their figure box and look for all the miscellaneous body parts."
This is a picture of the current contents of my pocket...
...and miscellaneous body parts.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Content
Lauren took this picture of her and Jackson. It is one of my favorite photos. I don't remember Max or Wyatt being thumb suckers.Friday, June 19, 2009
Kid Libs
There is a way of speaking about/to kids that only a parent can do. Talking just a little bit louder than normal, stressing the kids name to get their attention, then leading the conversation down a path, with dramatic pauses, so that the kid will try to fill in the blanks in the line of the conversation. This usually happens when one parent is trying to tell the other parent about the days events. Well, I think of these conversations as Kid Libs; like a live version of Mad Libs.
There are two versions of the Kid Libs. When something good has happened, the parent builds the story stressing positive words and uses a slightly higher pitch when describing the events. The result is met by the third party in the conversation giving praise.
Example-
Mom: And then after Wyatt ate all of his lunch, he even ate his carrot sticks, he went into the bathroom all by himself and he_________
Wyatt: Went pee on the potty.
Dad: Yay. All right! Give me a high five.
The other version is when something bad happened. When it is bad the parent speaks in a straight monotone voice, stressing bad events or negative words in a loud whisper, where the dramatic pause is sometimes preceded by a question in the hopes the child will admit to the crime or mistake to the third party.
Example-
Mom: After I told Wyatt he could not have dessert because he would not eat his chicken, he threw his fork, stormed into the living room and then proceeded to, what did you do in the living room? He took a crayon and he_______
Wyatt: Drawed on the coffee table.
Dad: You know you are not supposed to do that.
I love when the Kid Libs end in unexpected results.
Where a good story becomes even better.
Mom: Max was so helpful today. He helped me change the baby's diaper and he helped with dinner and he helped with______
Max: Mommy's workout. We did sit-ups.
There are two versions of the Kid Libs. When something good has happened, the parent builds the story stressing positive words and uses a slightly higher pitch when describing the events. The result is met by the third party in the conversation giving praise.
Example-
Mom: And then after Wyatt ate all of his lunch, he even ate his carrot sticks, he went into the bathroom all by himself and he_________
Wyatt: Went pee on the potty.
Dad: Yay. All right! Give me a high five.
The other version is when something bad happened. When it is bad the parent speaks in a straight monotone voice, stressing bad events or negative words in a loud whisper, where the dramatic pause is sometimes preceded by a question in the hopes the child will admit to the crime or mistake to the third party.
Example-
Mom: After I told Wyatt he could not have dessert because he would not eat his chicken, he threw his fork, stormed into the living room and then proceeded to, what did you do in the living room? He took a crayon and he_______
Wyatt: Drawed on the coffee table.
Dad: You know you are not supposed to do that.
I love when the Kid Libs end in unexpected results.
Where a good story becomes even better.
Mom: Max was so helpful today. He helped me change the baby's diaper and he helped with dinner and he helped with______
Max: Mommy's workout. We did sit-ups.
Or when a good story ends up in throwing Dad under the bus.
Dad: The boys were so good in the store this morning. They were well behaved. They helped put the groceries in the cart and they even helped_______
Max: Dad eat a bag of Cheetos on the way home.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Sigh
When Max broke his Femur he stayed in the hospital for two nights. Before they would release Max he had to meet certain physical criteria (like fitting into a car seat and wheelchair) and Lauren and I had to meet with various hospital staff members to learn how to care for the broken leg.
One of the parental requirements for release was for us to watch a 20 minute video on hip-spica casts. Lauren watched it the day before and I was required to watch it the day we were meeting with the physical therapist and other staff. The video was a typical cheesy hospital production of the "dos and don'ts" of care giving for hip-spica cast. Part of the video explained that although movement is limited with this type of cast it is important for the patient to lay in different positions to prevent bed sores and itching. The video instructed us to use pillows and bean bags and other things to position the patient. It also showed people with this type of cast in all various positions.
Later, the woman physical therapist, the female nurse, Lauren and myself were going over all the release papers. The physical therapist was going through a checklist to make sure all criteria was met. Car seat-check. Wheelchair-check. Pillow-check. She then asked us if we had seen the video.
"She watched it yesterday." I said pointing to Lauren. "And I just watched it today."
"Which one did you see?" Asked the therapist.
"I am not sure what it was called." I said.
"There are two videos and I need to verify you saw the correct one."
And this is the moment that I say things that I shouldn't say in public.
"I am not sure what the title was but the video I watched was like the Kama Sutra of hip-spica casts." I said.
The room became silent. I could hear each of the women's eyeballs shift from side to side looking at each other as if asking "did he just say what I think he said?" but not wanting to admit to knowing what the Kama Sutra is. Awkward.
And in typical fashion in these circumstances, Lauren sighed one of those sighs, which from where I stand sounds like a mixture of embarrasment and disbelief that she married me with a hint of "here we go again."
One of the parental requirements for release was for us to watch a 20 minute video on hip-spica casts. Lauren watched it the day before and I was required to watch it the day we were meeting with the physical therapist and other staff. The video was a typical cheesy hospital production of the "dos and don'ts" of care giving for hip-spica cast. Part of the video explained that although movement is limited with this type of cast it is important for the patient to lay in different positions to prevent bed sores and itching. The video instructed us to use pillows and bean bags and other things to position the patient. It also showed people with this type of cast in all various positions.
Later, the woman physical therapist, the female nurse, Lauren and myself were going over all the release papers. The physical therapist was going through a checklist to make sure all criteria was met. Car seat-check. Wheelchair-check. Pillow-check. She then asked us if we had seen the video.
"She watched it yesterday." I said pointing to Lauren. "And I just watched it today."
"Which one did you see?" Asked the therapist.
"I am not sure what it was called." I said.
"There are two videos and I need to verify you saw the correct one."
And this is the moment that I say things that I shouldn't say in public.
"I am not sure what the title was but the video I watched was like the Kama Sutra of hip-spica casts." I said.
The room became silent. I could hear each of the women's eyeballs shift from side to side looking at each other as if asking "did he just say what I think he said?" but not wanting to admit to knowing what the Kama Sutra is. Awkward.
And in typical fashion in these circumstances, Lauren sighed one of those sighs, which from where I stand sounds like a mixture of embarrasment and disbelief that she married me with a hint of "here we go again."
Monday, June 15, 2009
Lord's Prayer
GoodNites has offered me an opportunity to host a contest. If you enter the contest you have a chance to win GoodNites Bedtime Kit which includes a $100 gift certificate to Pajamagram.com, a $50 gift certificate to Borders as well as a blanket, journal, and tote bag from GoodNites. Something like this.
We always finish our prayers by saying the Lord’s Prayer. I usually start the prayer and the kids repeat after me. Every night I crack up at Wyatt’s version of the Lord’s Prayer. He either repeats what he thinks I said or whatever is on his mind at that particular part of the prayer. What follows is a compilation fo the various things he has said during the “Our Father.”
Contest Rules: Go to SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and share a special bedtime moment shared by you and your family (can be a story, tip for getting kids to sleep or rundown of your nighttime routine), along with a picture. (My brother Anonymous is totally snickering right now).
Copy the URL of your shared bedtime moment from SpecialBedtimeMoments.com and (the URL copy may not work so please copy and paste your story in my comments) or tell me which story is yours (to let me know that you participated). In a few weeks I will pick the post that I liked best and announce the winner. I will have the same contest two more times between now and mid August.
Disclamier: I have partnered with GoodNites for this series of posts; I am being compensated for writing about my family's bedtime routine and for promoting this contest, not for endorsing a product.
The Lord's Prayer
I put Maxfield and Wyatt to bed every night. Once Max is settled in the top bunk I lay down next to Wyatt in the bottom bunk and we say prayers. I try to start off the prayers by asking the kids what we are thankful for that day. After we thank God for the “Back Yardigans”, “gummy worms” or “the black Spiderman” we go through a list of family and friends and ask for blessings for them. Sometimes we add a couple of special blessing requests for people we know who are sick or need some extra attention from the big guy.
We always finish our prayers by saying the Lord’s Prayer. I usually start the prayer and the kids repeat after me. Every night I crack up at Wyatt’s version of the Lord’s Prayer. He either repeats what he thinks I said or whatever is on his mind at that particular part of the prayer. What follows is a compilation fo the various things he has said during the “Our Father.”Our Father
Our Father
Who art in heaven
Who draws art in heaven
Hallowed be thy Name.
Hallowed be YOUR Name
Thy kingdom come
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
Thy willby done, Dad who is Willby?
On Earth as it is in heaven
On Earth and in Uncle Kevin
Give us this day
Give us today
Our daily bread
Our daily bread with butter
And forgive us our trespasses
And forgive us our tresspassesesseses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
I am not going to say that part. Who is Willby?
And lead us not into temptation
And lead us into temptation
But deliver us from evil
And deliver us our evil
Amen
AAAAAAAmen.
There are nine other bloggers who are participating in this contest. The Blogger who sends the most readers who post on SpecialBedtimeMoments.com can receive $1000.00 in children’s books to donate to the charity of their choice. I think I would donate the books to the SPCA because I believe that if dogs and cats could learn to read they would not need to be placed in homes. They also could probably go out and get jobs and be productive members of our society. Then I realized that the job market is pretty rough right now and we would not want some felines taking what jobs that are available so I would most likely donate the books to a children’s Hospital (not a hospital run by children but one that treats children) or maybe a needy school.
So go and post and leave me a comment.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Super Day
Wyatt Blue turns three on June 11th. If you are new here you can read his story here and here and here see early pictures here and here.
Most three-year-olds have two identities. Wyatt does as well. One is sweet and funny and innocent and affectionate and the other is dark and moody and stubborn and yelly.
He is the middle child and I know it will give him a complex. Happy Birthday Wyatt Blue.
Thursday, June 04, 2009
Cease and Desist
I received a letter from the Intellectual Property Counsel from Campbell's Soup. In a nut shell they are asking me to change my blog header so the casual reader is not misled into thinking that Campbell's is associated or endorses my blog. They also want to make sure that there is no misunderstanding from the casual reader that there is an actual flavor of Campbell's Soup called Poop and Boogies.
At first I was a little worried because I am not sure where the law stands on parody and trademark. Then I was all "Big company trying to squash the little guy and his little blog too. This is an outrage!" But then I realized I was actually happy that Campbell's has discovered my blog and that they expressed concern with the header. I just hope that the people there are reading and enjoying my posts.
Actually, the Intellectual Property Counsel at Campbell's' have been very nice and I understand their concerns. They even suggested a few simple changes to keep the header somewhat intact but not so close to their trade dress.
So, where does that leave me? Well, it is time for a change. I am just not sure what kind of change. Do I do a complete overhaul? Do I just change the header? I don't even know how to do this stuff. This is where I need help.
I want to stay with the food motif but I am not sure what kind of food label. Any suggestions? Does anyone who reads Poop and Boogies work for a food company that will actually endorse my blog? Will they pay me? I already tried Frank's Hot sauce, which is my favorite, but they declined (they sent me coupons though).
Does anyone know anyone that can help with an overhaul? How much does something like that cost? I want to stay with Blogger because the idiot curve leans in my favor but I don't know the first thing about html or design or interfaces and flux-capacitors.
How do you suggest I change the site? What would you like to see? Please help.
At first I was a little worried because I am not sure where the law stands on parody and trademark. Then I was all "Big company trying to squash the little guy and his little blog too. This is an outrage!" But then I realized I was actually happy that Campbell's has discovered my blog and that they expressed concern with the header. I just hope that the people there are reading and enjoying my posts.
Actually, the Intellectual Property Counsel at Campbell's' have been very nice and I understand their concerns. They even suggested a few simple changes to keep the header somewhat intact but not so close to their trade dress.
So, where does that leave me? Well, it is time for a change. I am just not sure what kind of change. Do I do a complete overhaul? Do I just change the header? I don't even know how to do this stuff. This is where I need help.
I want to stay with the food motif but I am not sure what kind of food label. Any suggestions? Does anyone who reads Poop and Boogies work for a food company that will actually endorse my blog? Will they pay me? I already tried Frank's Hot sauce, which is my favorite, but they declined (they sent me coupons though).
Does anyone know anyone that can help with an overhaul? How much does something like that cost? I want to stay with Blogger because the idiot curve leans in my favor but I don't know the first thing about html or design or interfaces and flux-capacitors.
How do you suggest I change the site? What would you like to see? Please help.
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Memory Lane
I have been either thrown-up on, spit on, or peed on at least once, every day, for the past 16 days.
It kind of reminds me of the time I used to work in an after hours nightclub.
It kind of reminds me of the time I used to work in an after hours nightclub.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
Cooking with Poop and Boogies
I enjoy cooking. Most weekends I cook dinner for the family and I usually like to experiment with different ingredients. I will get an idea for some type of meal and I normally do not look up recipes. I try to wing it. Two weeks ago I tried to make fried avocados and I thought I would share my experience.
Fry some ground spicy sausage in a pan, as it browns chop it to make it into small crumbles.
Dice one mango, one red pepper, half an onion and a few slices of cucumber. Mix it all together throwing in a pinch of orange zest and a splash of lemon juice. You want the consistency to be that of a thick salsa. Mix in the ground Sausage.
Slice avocados from top to bottom and remove pit. Use a spoon to make the divot left by the pit a little bigger on each half of the avocado (this is where the salsa/sausage goes after it is fried). Use a spoon to scoop the meat of the avocado from the skin making sure to leave most of the avocado intact.
Mix one raw egg with a little bit of milk in a bowl. In another bowl combine a dash of cumin, cayenne pepper, and garlic salt to some breadcrumbs.
Heat some oil in a frying pan.
Dip and roll the avocado halves into the egg and then into the bread crumbs and make sure it is evenly covered.
Out of the corner of your eye, through the kitchen window, watch your five year old fall from the monkey bars. Out of the corner of your ear, hear your wife yell for you to come out to the back yard. And hurry. Wash the raw egg off your hands, turn off oil on stove and run out back. Listen to the five-year-old scream. Debate whether child is actually injured or just faking it because he heard you were having fried avocados for dinner.
Have wife tell you she heard something break. Tell five-year-old to "shake it off". Have wife tell you again she thinks something broke.
Take your five-year-old to local emergency room and be told they have to transfer him to another facility. Run home a few hours later to check on other kids and to get stuff for an overnight stay. See the ingredients to the fried avocado sitting on counter, in raw egg, for the past few hours and dump them all in the garbage.
If you follow the last part of the recipe it should end up looking like this.
Fry some ground spicy sausage in a pan, as it browns chop it to make it into small crumbles.
Dice one mango, one red pepper, half an onion and a few slices of cucumber. Mix it all together throwing in a pinch of orange zest and a splash of lemon juice. You want the consistency to be that of a thick salsa. Mix in the ground Sausage.
Slice avocados from top to bottom and remove pit. Use a spoon to make the divot left by the pit a little bigger on each half of the avocado (this is where the salsa/sausage goes after it is fried). Use a spoon to scoop the meat of the avocado from the skin making sure to leave most of the avocado intact.
Mix one raw egg with a little bit of milk in a bowl. In another bowl combine a dash of cumin, cayenne pepper, and garlic salt to some breadcrumbs.
Heat some oil in a frying pan.
Dip and roll the avocado halves into the egg and then into the bread crumbs and make sure it is evenly covered.
Out of the corner of your eye, through the kitchen window, watch your five year old fall from the monkey bars. Out of the corner of your ear, hear your wife yell for you to come out to the back yard. And hurry. Wash the raw egg off your hands, turn off oil on stove and run out back. Listen to the five-year-old scream. Debate whether child is actually injured or just faking it because he heard you were having fried avocados for dinner.
Have wife tell you she heard something break. Tell five-year-old to "shake it off". Have wife tell you again she thinks something broke.
Take your five-year-old to local emergency room and be told they have to transfer him to another facility. Run home a few hours later to check on other kids and to get stuff for an overnight stay. See the ingredients to the fried avocado sitting on counter, in raw egg, for the past few hours and dump them all in the garbage.
If you follow the last part of the recipe it should end up looking like this.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Extended Family
Over the past few weeks I have had five nieces/nephews make their First Holy Communion. I have attended each of their parties celebrating the event. When attending these types of large family parties I always seem to forget that extended family will be there. The extended family I refer to is the In-laws to my brother(s) hosting the party. Their mother and father in-law, various brother and sister in-laws, nieces and nephews and aunts and uncles that are of no direct relation to me are in attendance. I always seem to forget their names and I know, for the most part, they forget mine. I always seem to get a little bit of social anxiety in these situations.
The last time most of Extended In-laws and I met were at the wedding of the mutual family member.
Since I have 7 brothers, at these big parties I sometimes get, "Which one are you? You were so funny at the wedding when you guys roasted (insert brothers name)." Or maybe they say "Bill? Or is it Dan, right? Were you the one that said that -Bulson push-shove thing/The groom's got big balls./The groom has three nipples./Joan thinks we are getting naked- at (insert brother's name) wedding?"
I then introduce myself and have to admit that I don't remember most of my brother's weddings and that most likely I did not say any of those things. It usually ends with an awkward moment of me not remembering the Extended In-law's name and I take a long extended sip from my beer in the hopes that my silence forces them to say something else.
Anyway at these recent parties, over the past few weeks, I decided to take a different angle to those Extended In-law conversations. I now admit to saying those things at the wedding. I then say the most off-the-wall somewhat offensive comment I can think of and then introduce myself as Kevin.
It has been working great. My brother Jim's, John's and Dan's In-laws all think Kevin is a little strange.
The last time most of Extended In-laws and I met were at the wedding of the mutual family member.
Since I have 7 brothers, at these big parties I sometimes get, "Which one are you? You were so funny at the wedding when you guys roasted (insert brothers name)." Or maybe they say "Bill? Or is it Dan, right? Were you the one that said that -Bulson push-shove thing/The groom's got big balls./The groom has three nipples./Joan thinks we are getting naked- at (insert brother's name) wedding?"
I then introduce myself and have to admit that I don't remember most of my brother's weddings and that most likely I did not say any of those things. It usually ends with an awkward moment of me not remembering the Extended In-law's name and I take a long extended sip from my beer in the hopes that my silence forces them to say something else.
Anyway at these recent parties, over the past few weeks, I decided to take a different angle to those Extended In-law conversations. I now admit to saying those things at the wedding. I then say the most off-the-wall somewhat offensive comment I can think of and then introduce myself as Kevin.
It has been working great. My brother Jim's, John's and Dan's In-laws all think Kevin is a little strange.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Junkie
We have been a video game free house. Not by choice or design, because I love video games, but more because the kids never showed interest or asked for any types of video game system. Then Max broke his leg. The very generous people at my job all chipped in and bought Max a Nintendo DS.
I wished I would have video taped the past three days of Max and his DS. The recording would have provided a documentary on the early signs of addiction. I Googled "signs of addiction" and they include the following.
*Extreme hyperactivity and excessive talking
*Change in overall attitude/personality
*Loss of interest in things that were important before
*Loss of interest in family and friends
*Unexplained silliness or giddiness
*Difficulty in paying attention and forgetfulness
*Lack of motivation
*Unexplained moodiness and irritability
*Defensiveness/temper tantrums.
Maxfield is totally addicted to the DS.
In other news the Signs of Addiction also describe the typical behavior of three year old.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Parental Love
When each of my kids were born I could tell that I had a certain amount of, I don't know what to call it, I guess instinctual love works, for them. I knew that I loved them from somewhere in the deep recesses of my mind and heart but I never felt that certain connection or bond right from the get go. I think part of the reason for that is that I did not feel the love from my kids right from the start. I know that may sound wrong but that is how I felt. I felt the need to protect them and nurture them but that reciprocal part of the relationship just wasn't there. Lauren nursed each of the kids so they didn't need me.I didn't feel connected to Maxfield until about he was about 6 months old. Sure, I loved him more and more each day, but it wasn't until his personality developed that I could feel his affection and need for me that I truly experienced the love that a father can have for his son. It was also about the same time that Lauren stopped nursing.
When Wyatt was born, I became Max's best friend. Lauren spent more time with Wyatt and I spent more time with Max. My attention and time was focused on Max and it took at least 9 months for me to feel the father connection to Wyatt. Although he was still nursing he became more independent and his laugh and attitude made me completely fall head over heels.
Now with Jackson my time and attention is now split between the two older boys. My focus is on taking care of them, knowing that Lauren is taking care of Jackson. I was sure that I would not feel the bond between us for a much longer time. I was wrong. For some reason, with Jackson, it was around the three month mark where I came to fully appreciate my love for him. Maybe it is due to Max and Wyatt interacting with Jackson more and Jackson is giving back quicker than the other two did. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I am more calm and patient as a dad. Maybe it is due to the fact that I am finally getting this parental love thing down and I can recognize Jackson's personality and needs of me quicker.
Lauren is nursing Jackson and maybe the reciprocal love is due to the fact that a few years ago I was in better shape and now I am starting to get man-boobs and Jackson is just confused.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Bloody Murder
"What's wrong!?" My mom would bark from the bottom of the steps in response to the scream that came from the upstairs hallway.
We would all go suddenly quiet in the upstairs hallway and give the collective evil eye to the brother that screamed.
"Nuthin." One of us would reply from the top of the steps making sure to stay close to the shadows so mom might not recognize the person responding.
"What do you mean 'Nuthin.'?" Mom would ask. Which would then be followed up with "Someone is screaming bloody murder up there."
In the upstairs hallway, heads would snap in an accusatory way towards the offending screamer. Silent whispers of "I told you to be quiet" or "It's your fault" would be directed at each other.
The offender, also clinging to the shadows, half leaning down the steps, would apologize.
"That's enough!" Mom would say without ever clarifying enough of what.
We would wait a few minutes, laugh at the person who was scolded, and go back to our our game of hallway tackle football or our steel cage match. The offending screamer was not hurt but was most likely cheering at a touchdown or a perfect Greg Valentine Figure Four move. If someone was ever actually hurt, required stitches, broke a bone, what have you, we would never scream. We would all be quiet in an effort to cover up the incident; including the brother that was bleebing. Quiet and brothers usually mean someone is hurt. The quieter the bloodier.
Our screaming bloody murder was never really murder.
I never understood the phrase screaming bloody murder. When I was eight, I thought my mom meant that someone was actually screaming the words bloody murder. When I was twelve, I thought my mom meant she wanted to murder someone after hearing the scream. When I was sixteen I thought my mom was trying to be British but without the accent.
Now? Now I get it. Maxfield will scream like he is being fed into a wood chipper if Wyatt knocks over a Lego building. Wyatt will wail, as if he was getting scalped with a hatchet, if Max stands in front of his view of the TV. They both scream like they are being murdered.
Bloody murder.
I appreciate the phrase. I get it's meaning, but since I was once one of the people screaming, I know that 99 percent of the time screaming is not the result of injury or something serious.
No, I try to listen the long moments of silence to know when something is wrong. I will call up from the bottom of the steps. "What's wrong?"
"Nuthin." Max will call from the hallway upstairs.
"What do you mean nuthin?" I say. Which I then follow up with,"You guys have been quiet for 5 minutes now. Who is hurt?"
We would all go suddenly quiet in the upstairs hallway and give the collective evil eye to the brother that screamed.
"Nuthin." One of us would reply from the top of the steps making sure to stay close to the shadows so mom might not recognize the person responding.
"What do you mean 'Nuthin.'?" Mom would ask. Which would then be followed up with "Someone is screaming bloody murder up there."
In the upstairs hallway, heads would snap in an accusatory way towards the offending screamer. Silent whispers of "I told you to be quiet" or "It's your fault" would be directed at each other.
The offender, also clinging to the shadows, half leaning down the steps, would apologize.
"That's enough!" Mom would say without ever clarifying enough of what.
We would wait a few minutes, laugh at the person who was scolded, and go back to our our game of hallway tackle football or our steel cage match. The offending screamer was not hurt but was most likely cheering at a touchdown or a perfect Greg Valentine Figure Four move. If someone was ever actually hurt, required stitches, broke a bone, what have you, we would never scream. We would all be quiet in an effort to cover up the incident; including the brother that was bleebing. Quiet and brothers usually mean someone is hurt. The quieter the bloodier.
Our screaming bloody murder was never really murder.
I never understood the phrase screaming bloody murder. When I was eight, I thought my mom meant that someone was actually screaming the words bloody murder. When I was twelve, I thought my mom meant she wanted to murder someone after hearing the scream. When I was sixteen I thought my mom was trying to be British but without the accent.
Now? Now I get it. Maxfield will scream like he is being fed into a wood chipper if Wyatt knocks over a Lego building. Wyatt will wail, as if he was getting scalped with a hatchet, if Max stands in front of his view of the TV. They both scream like they are being murdered.
Bloody murder.
I appreciate the phrase. I get it's meaning, but since I was once one of the people screaming, I know that 99 percent of the time screaming is not the result of injury or something serious.
No, I try to listen the long moments of silence to know when something is wrong. I will call up from the bottom of the steps. "What's wrong?"
"Nuthin." Max will call from the hallway upstairs.
"What do you mean nuthin?" I say. Which I then follow up with,"You guys have been quiet for 5 minutes now. Who is hurt?"
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Celebrity
I kissed Lauren and the kids and I told them I would see them at home in a few minutes. I ran back into the Chuck E. Cheese to get a jacket that I left at a table covered in pizza and cake and presents from the party we just attended. I was a little frazzled. 90 minutes in Chuck E Cheese with a bunch of 5 year-olds will do that. I said goodbye, again, to the birthday boy's parents and headed towards the door.
A woman, who was not with the birthday party I just attended, stepped in front of me.
"Excuse me."she said. "Are you Poop and Boogies?"
I did not recognize the woman. I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was talking to me.
"Uhmmm. Yeah? That's me. I'm Bill." I shook her hand.
"I'm Erica."
Erica told me she recognized Max and I from the blog and that she thought she recognized my wife Gigglepotamus. I asked her if she knew me and Poop and Boogies from someone else, like a friend or relative of mine. She said no. She said she found P&B a couple of years ago through Nilbo's blog and she has been reading ever since. I was flattered. Erica told me she started her own blog a short while ago.
I looked around to see if any of the parents from the earlier party could hear my conversation. I do not keep the fact that I blog private but I don't really advertise it to other parents either; especially the parents of Max's friends. I tried to think if I wrote any stories about the other parents at the party. I realized I hadn't and felt more at ease. Now, I did not care if the other parents heard that I was recognized for my writing. I have to admit being recognized is good for the ego. I felt a bit cocky and was kind of hoping that they would overhear us talking.
Another woman approached and Erica said. "This is my sister Kristy. She reads the blog too. Kristy this is Poop."
That's right. She introduced me as Poop. Now I was hoping that the other parents could not hear our conversation.
They told me they read P&B everyday and that they enjoy it. They were very nice and it was great to meet them. Erica was very funny. Again, I was very flattered and I felt like a small celebrity. Then they told me that due to their Internet security at work they only have access to very few sites and P&B is one of the "four or five sites that gets through the firewalls".
Basically, reading P&B is better than staring at a blank monitor.
I wonder what the other four sites are?
A woman, who was not with the birthday party I just attended, stepped in front of me.
"Excuse me."she said. "Are you Poop and Boogies?"
I did not recognize the woman. I looked over my shoulder to make sure she was talking to me.
"Uhmmm. Yeah? That's me. I'm Bill." I shook her hand.
"I'm Erica."
Erica told me she recognized Max and I from the blog and that she thought she recognized my wife Gigglepotamus. I asked her if she knew me and Poop and Boogies from someone else, like a friend or relative of mine. She said no. She said she found P&B a couple of years ago through Nilbo's blog and she has been reading ever since. I was flattered. Erica told me she started her own blog a short while ago.
I looked around to see if any of the parents from the earlier party could hear my conversation. I do not keep the fact that I blog private but I don't really advertise it to other parents either; especially the parents of Max's friends. I tried to think if I wrote any stories about the other parents at the party. I realized I hadn't and felt more at ease. Now, I did not care if the other parents heard that I was recognized for my writing. I have to admit being recognized is good for the ego. I felt a bit cocky and was kind of hoping that they would overhear us talking.
Another woman approached and Erica said. "This is my sister Kristy. She reads the blog too. Kristy this is Poop."
That's right. She introduced me as Poop. Now I was hoping that the other parents could not hear our conversation.
They told me they read P&B everyday and that they enjoy it. They were very nice and it was great to meet them. Erica was very funny. Again, I was very flattered and I felt like a small celebrity. Then they told me that due to their Internet security at work they only have access to very few sites and P&B is one of the "four or five sites that gets through the firewalls".
Basically, reading P&B is better than staring at a blank monitor.
I wonder what the other four sites are?
Wednesday, May 06, 2009
Mean Lady at the Church
I took this picture on Saturday May 2nd at about 11:46 AM. At the bottom of the picture is Wyatt and his cousin Valera playing nicely in the pew in front of me and Valera's mom (my sister) at their cousin's First Holy Communion.2 Minutes Before That -My sister and I were still fighting some serious church giggles.
3 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start fighting some church giggles at the thought that the people in the pew in front of our kids probably think that Wyatt and Valera are my sister-in-law's kids. We wonder if our sister-in-law is mortified since it is her parish.
2 Minutes Before That-My sister and I start laughing at the fact that we are the Godparent's of one of the 1st Holy Communion recipients. What kind of example are we setting.
1 Minute Before That- My sister and I start laughing. In shock, but laughing.
1 Minute Before That-My anger passes.
30 Seconds Before That-I contemplate how many Hail Marys and Our Fathers I would have to say for committing the action I was just thinking about a minute ago. In Church.
1 Minute Before That- I want to smack the lady in the orange top (in the picture) in the face for treating my kid that way.
2 Minutes Before That -The woman in the orange shirt in front of Wyatt and Valera, in the most hag-like, nasty, witchy way, without warning, turns to Wyatt and Valera, who are two and 4 years old, gives them the evil eye and hisses, "SSSSHHHHHushhhhh." louder than the volume in which Wyatt and Valera were talking. She was flat out mean. Nasty. Shocking.
3o Seconds Before That- Wyatt turns to Valera in a surprised voice and says "I just heard it again. Where did that come from?" They giggle.
5 Seconds Before That - The second ringing of the Sanctus Bells.
1 Minute Before That Wyatt hears the ringing of bells and says in a surprised voice "What was that?" He and Valera start discussing where the bell noise came from.
2 Seconds Before That-The first ringing of the Sanctus Bells.
5 Minutes Before That-My sister makes a comment about how good Wyatt and Valera are behaving in church. I make a comment about how pleased I am with Wyatt's behavior.
15 Minutes Before That-Wyatt does not like sitting with me and moves to the pew in front of me where he can sit with Valera and my sister-in-law and her kids.
5 Minutes Before That-Wyatt finishes all of his distraction snacks and juice.
3 Minutes Before That- We watch the procession of the children making their 1st Holy Communion. My God daughter is the prettiest one.
8 Minutes Before That- My sister and her daughter Valera arrive. My sister sits next to me and Valera sits in the pew in front of us with the other children.
2 Minutes Before That- Wyatt is slightly antsy but behaving himself in the crowded church. He has a new book and sits quietly next to me in the pew.
6 Minutes Before That- Wyatt and I sit in a pew directly behind my sister-in-law (my brother Anonymous' wife) her children, her sisters and their kids.
30 Minutes Before That- My sister-in-law gives Wyatt a new book for him to look at when we are in church.
One Thousand Nine Hundred and Seventy Six Years(give or take a couple of years) Before That - Matthew and Simon the Zealot get a serious case of the "Last Supper" giggles. No one shushed them.
Some Time Before That -"And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them and heal them: and his disciples rebuked them."
"But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God."
Dictionary dot com's definition of Rebuke.- Verb-to express sharp, stern disapproval of; reprove; reprimand.
I don't think the the lady-in-orange knows this, but she displeased Jesus. Wyatt and Valera were angels and merely having a conversation about the service which is what I think church should be like for children. I know she was trying to be reverent and all holy roller like by trying to shush kids in church but she was just downright mean and nasty. I wonder if I did smack her if she would have been reverent and holy and turned the other cheek.
Jackson's Story
My wife, over at Gigglepotamus, finally posted her story of Jackson's birth.
She left out the part about how awesome and supportive and handsome and funny her husband was the during the entire event.
She left out the part about how awesome and supportive and handsome and funny her husband was the during the entire event.
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Book Reviews
There are two books I have been reading and I think both of them deserve some type of review.
The first book is Morning Drive by Michael Smerconish. Smerconish is a Philly based talk radio personality who, in my opinion, gives the most fair, honest and entertaining views on politics and current events. His new book, with the subtitle "Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Talking", is not only about politics, his positions on certain issues but it is also about how he came to his positions by researching all sides of the issue. The book is also, somewhat of a revealing, insider's take on talk radio and cable news shows.
Smerconish, on his show and in the book, unlike other talking heads, is not afraid to admit that there is more than two sides to every issue (as Michael Scott from Dunder Mifflin would say "I looked at this 100 different ways. Their way, my way and 98 other ways.). Smerconish makes it clear that most talk show hosts and guests will take a (politically speaking) Right/Republican side or Left/Democrat side to an issue on any given show.
I look at politics and political issues the same way I compare colors; it all depends on the light. In one light, gray looks more dark and the exact same gray in a different light looks lighter. For any political issue, news or current event it all depends on who is shedding the light on the topic. Smerconish's Morning Drive does a nice job of shedding the right amount of various lights on each topic and he is honest that the issue is still "gray".
I think what is understated in the book is Michael's drive. From a young age Michael had the drive to get what he wanted. In the book I think he tries to pass off some of his accomplishments as Karma, but I think it was more his determination to be involved, to find the right answers to be the best that he could be that landed him where he is today. His drive to be a lawyer, his drive to be a radio host, his drive to get the right people to talk to. It is understated but it is there.
The second book I have been reading is The Man's Book, The Essential Guide for the Modern Man by Thomas Fink. This book is BRILLIANT. Funny for any man and some woman. The book is a "How to" guide for things like the proper way to tie a tie and how build a tree house and it also has various lists of things that every man should know like the best movies for a man to watch.
The book states that Fink, the author, is a theoretical physicist. The book is full of scientific and mathematical equations on how to determine a woman's beauty or how one should pick a urinal when having to go pee. Fink includes his equations for the geeky/nerdy readers.
The book is broken down in easy to read chapters with sub-sections for each man category which makes the Man's Guide the perfect bathroom book, which in itself, makes sense. I was disappointed that the film Uncommon Valor did not make the 50 essential films for men list but other than that the The Man's Book is an excellent gift for Father's Day or Husband's Day. What? You never heard of Husband's Day...well no one else has either (Husband's Day is not in the book, it my invention) but I think a bunch of wives should get together and organize a day that celebrates husbands.
The first book is Morning Drive by Michael Smerconish. Smerconish is a Philly based talk radio personality who, in my opinion, gives the most fair, honest and entertaining views on politics and current events. His new book, with the subtitle "Things I Wish I Knew Before I Started Talking", is not only about politics, his positions on certain issues but it is also about how he came to his positions by researching all sides of the issue. The book is also, somewhat of a revealing, insider's take on talk radio and cable news shows.
Smerconish, on his show and in the book, unlike other talking heads, is not afraid to admit that there is more than two sides to every issue (as Michael Scott from Dunder Mifflin would say "I looked at this 100 different ways. Their way, my way and 98 other ways.). Smerconish makes it clear that most talk show hosts and guests will take a (politically speaking) Right/Republican side or Left/Democrat side to an issue on any given show.
I look at politics and political issues the same way I compare colors; it all depends on the light. In one light, gray looks more dark and the exact same gray in a different light looks lighter. For any political issue, news or current event it all depends on who is shedding the light on the topic. Smerconish's Morning Drive does a nice job of shedding the right amount of various lights on each topic and he is honest that the issue is still "gray".
I think what is understated in the book is Michael's drive. From a young age Michael had the drive to get what he wanted. In the book I think he tries to pass off some of his accomplishments as Karma, but I think it was more his determination to be involved, to find the right answers to be the best that he could be that landed him where he is today. His drive to be a lawyer, his drive to be a radio host, his drive to get the right people to talk to. It is understated but it is there.
The second book I have been reading is The Man's Book, The Essential Guide for the Modern Man by Thomas Fink. This book is BRILLIANT. Funny for any man and some woman. The book is a "How to" guide for things like the proper way to tie a tie and how build a tree house and it also has various lists of things that every man should know like the best movies for a man to watch.
The book states that Fink, the author, is a theoretical physicist. The book is full of scientific and mathematical equations on how to determine a woman's beauty or how one should pick a urinal when having to go pee. Fink includes his equations for the geeky/nerdy readers.
The book is broken down in easy to read chapters with sub-sections for each man category which makes the Man's Guide the perfect bathroom book, which in itself, makes sense. I was disappointed that the film Uncommon Valor did not make the 50 essential films for men list but other than that the The Man's Book is an excellent gift for Father's Day or Husband's Day. What? You never heard of Husband's Day...well no one else has either (Husband's Day is not in the book, it my invention) but I think a bunch of wives should get together and organize a day that celebrates husbands.
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