Wednesday, June 17, 2009


When Max broke his Femur he stayed in the hospital for two nights. Before they would release Max he had to meet certain physical criteria (like fitting into a car seat and wheelchair) and Lauren and I had to meet with various hospital staff members to learn how to care for the broken leg.

One of the parental requirements for release was for us to watch a 20 minute video on hip-spica casts. Lauren watched it the day before and I was required to watch it the day we were meeting with the physical therapist and other staff. The video was a typical cheesy hospital production of the "dos and don'ts" of care giving for hip-spica cast. Part of the video explained that although movement is limited with this type of cast it is important for the patient to lay in different positions to prevent bed sores and itching. The video instructed us to use pillows and bean bags and other things to position the patient. It also showed people with this type of cast in all various positions.

Later, the woman physical therapist, the female nurse, Lauren and myself were going over all the release papers. The physical therapist was going through a checklist to make sure all criteria was met. Car seat-check. Wheelchair-check. Pillow-check. She then asked us if we had seen the video.

"She watched it yesterday." I said pointing to Lauren. "And I just watched it today."

"Which one did you see?" Asked the therapist.

"I am not sure what it was called." I said.

"There are two videos and I need to verify you saw the correct one."

And this is the moment that I say things that I shouldn't say in public.

"I am not sure what the title was but the video I watched was like the Kama Sutra of hip-spica casts." I said.

The room became silent. I could hear each of the women's eyeballs shift from side to side looking at each other as if asking "did he just say what I think he said?" but not wanting to admit to knowing what the Kama Sutra is. Awkward.

And in typical fashion in these circumstances, Lauren sighed one of those sighs, which from where I stand sounds like a mixture of embarrasment and disbelief that she married me with a hint of "here we go again."


Anonymous said...

Nothing quite like spicing up those hospital videos!

Unknown said...

Been there. My husband says things all the time and no one gets his humor. I sigh and roll my eyes....and say, "Ignor him...he thinks he's funny!"

Your story is funny though! My son is disabled, and we've spent plenty of time in hospitals and around doctors and nurses. It's amazing how crazy they can be sometimes isn't it?
Which video you watched was the most important thing in the world to her! Must be nice to have such a simple life! LOL!

kalki said...

The world would be a much more boring place with you, Bill. Better behaved, I suppose, but not better. :)

kalki said...

I meant without you. Obviously.

Anonymous said...

Kalki Got it right the first time

The Rose Family said...

Sounds like you got captured by the PT hospital Nazis. Those folks are SERIOUS about their ed-u-cational videos!

Anonymous said...

It would have been better if you would have
demonstrated a move to demonstrate your

Patience said...

heh heh heh! You made the nurse do the nervous eyeball thing!

My word verification if barfles! Sounds like someone losing lunch!

sari said...

Oh I would have laughed out loud. But then again, I'm not married to you! ha ha

I hope Max is doing well. How's the gameboy adventure coming along?

Unknown said...

William, you just can't control yourself, can you! It's why we read your blog! E

eclectic said...

"What? You don't know what the Kama Sutra is? Well, there ya go then. We're even."

Otter Thomas said...

Great answer! I get those sighs and related looks on a daily basis.

teri said...

maybe the comedy circuit would understand your humor, better.

just sayin...