Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Santa Blogs

Dear Santa,

I know you are busy this time of year but I was hoping that you would be able to add a few items for the people on my list. I am going on vacation and I wanted to make sure you had this list early. These are gifts that I think you should get for the regular comment-ers on Poop and Boogies. I also like all their blogs.

I was inspired to write this list by Lois and Susie.
I have numbered them (in no particular order) and have provided links to them so you will be able to find them.

For Kristine- Bathroom spider repellent. lots of people to order stuff from Holey Shirt, and a boob hair razor.
Susie-Washable graffiti paint. And different outfits for her dog. (the dog is always wearing something.)
Kalki- a Target (the store) in her back yard with unlimited PPP. She could also use a new Cow fence for her neighbor oh and John Stamos.
Cat-The DVD's of all the American Idol, Veronica Mars and Buffy Seasons. She does not really need them because she probably knows the words to every episode.
Mrtl-. A better cleaning service and a moose. Lots of pie.
Lois-A book Deal. No more pets. A fire Extinguisher. A girlfriend for her son so she will have lots of Blog material. Oh and pictures of all of the largest items across the US. (she already has her own pictures of some but she could use more).
Barry-A better Fantasy Football Team and his addition completed on time.
Mary-An Armadillo for a pet. Lot of visits from her family since she transplanted to Florida.
SoozieQ-A fantasy football trophy so she has a model in which to make a bunch more and sell. (it really is a good idea.)
CK-A Mini van with flames on the side and a hot tub in the back
Ern-Her own license plate that reads ERNS-BIRD
Jewl-Her husband to come home safe and sound.
Stacie-A cross word book because she had so much trouble with word Verification..
Meegs- Pants that will stay on her fiance when he sleeps.
The Three Bitches-More comment-ers because I think their blog is a hoot.
KimmyK-Money so she could quit her job because she would be "very happy being anti-social bitch."
Yonzie-She really does not need anything because she keeps winning stuff from Blingo.
Eclectic- Raquet ball lessons and A life supply of popcorn (she likes popcorn more than Icecream. Strange I know)
Kami-More Overalls
Effie-Centipede bug spray and a book of poems.
Susie (Raising Liam) - DVD of the first two seasons of Biggest Loser.
Tammy-Nachos and Bean dip.
Metro Dad- A book of classic prank calls.
Mama Duck-A real Tailgate Toilet.
The Lawnwhisperer. A brand new John Deere Walk-behind mower or a week with Dr. Phil. OR his own Blog because he is too damn funny.

There are so many other bloggers that I may have to make a second list because I know I missed some. Sorry.

PS. Santa I would also like peace on earth and goodwill to all people and large screen HI-Def TV for Max.


kimmyk said...

Oh thank you thank you !!!
That's what I've always be a stay at home anti social bitch of a mom.

Cat said...

Gosh, William, I feel so CLOSE to you right now. It's like you know me SO well...


Awesome posts! I was laughing so hard because you totally nailed us! Um, but not in a dirty way...

katherine said...

I am not a family member or friend. I was just hitting the "Next Blog" button over and over again until your blog came up. I love the campbell's soup graphics. I started reading. Earlier today I posted a very bitter and cynical entry about marriage and relationships. After reading your entries, I feel like an evil old cow. Your little family is so sweet; it literally brought me to tears. I am not even being sarcastic one bit. Have any single brothers in the midwest?

Susie said...

Okaaaaaay, this is really sweet. Come and get some cookies :)

Ken said...

I'll take the spider spray, the peace on earth and 2 of the TV's. I'm greedy, I know.

PS, I tagged you. Sorry, but I really thought you would have fun with this one.

eclectic said...

Yeah... the Hi-Def TV is for Maxfield. Aren't you sweet!

Oh, and thanks for the lessons and the popcorn!! Very thoughtful. I'd wish Santa to bring you family close-by, and snow in your yard, (but not on the street or the sidewalk) and a healthy little sibling for Maxfield!

Kami said...

YOu are so sweet. Thank you tons. :)

Kari said...

Only the best for Max!

Cute list! I loveed reading this!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, my friend! A book of crank calls would surely keep me busy during the holidays. I appreciate it!

Grace said...


You missed me.

I want Moon boots.

Unknown said...

Aww, that is SO sweet! Thank you!
This year, I'm also asking for Peace on Earth, and the ability to sleep late... and nearly anything from Helzberg Diamonds. ;)

I passed a KAY Jewelers yesterday and thought of you...

ieatcrayonz said...

Okay, you're right. I don't need anything. Now, in my defense I haven't won anything from Blingo in months. However, I did win something from the Internet this week. Post is ready to be published once the thing I won is finished.

Katy Barzedor said...

PLEASE tell us we get to watch Kristine shave her nipples. That's just good, wholesome American fun right there.

Anonymous said...

Awwww, William!! This is the best holiday post ever. (I'm hoping you have an 'in' with the red-suited fat man...)

Ern said...

Aww, thanks for thinkin' of me! I love the idea, too. Might have to fulfill this wish myself someday, if Santa's DMV connections fall through. ;)

Lois Lane said...

Awww! From your fingertips to Santa's eyes! Thanks! Those are what I want most of all... sans the GF for my baby boy. :P
Merry Christmas William, and family!
Lois Lane

The Q said...

Heh, you're really wearing me down on the whole Fantasy Trophy idea thing. Honestly, all it will take is for a REALLY hot guy to walk in and ask for one. Then I'd believe that they are as cool as you think they are.

Thanks for thinking of me for your list. That made my day.

I wish all the best for the Poop & Boogies Family and for a non-poop filled trip to the book store in the very near future.*

*of course my biggest wish for you guys is a healthy new "Poop & Boogies Baby" in the near future.

Why is it that EVERY TIME I try to type "Poop & Boogies", I type "Poop & Boobies" instead?!?!?! It must be Kristine's nipple hair (or Jessica Rabbit's) fault!

Tink said...

Santa's going to need a fleet of dump trucks. ;)

Tammy said...

Thank you so much! I will enjoy them, immensly!

Have a great vacation!

Unknown said...

What, no gift for moi?!

Jewl said...

Great Post... Thanks for including my special wish to Santa... Em and I went to see Santa this year and it is the only thing we asked for!

Susie said...

Uh I hope the episodes of Biggest Loser aren't a hint...

Sudiegirl said...

Where do you get a moose? I want one...I need another coatrack.


PS: Cute pic of your kiddo...

Meegs said...

Lol, thanks... you are too good to me.

Effie said...

Bug Spray! Yup--you've got me pegged!! You're such a sweetie!

What I want to get William for Christmas is: more publicity for his site--he's awesome! As good as Dooce!

Anonymous said...

Thank You!! You are TOO sweet!!

We Bitches would like more comments, too, but I think we scare people. :)