Monday, June 13, 2005

Pimping at Disney

My brother Kevin and his family were in town this weekend. Okay not really in town but more like in Disney. It was great to see them. They stayed at the Animal Kingdom Lodge which is amazing in the fact that how big and nice and themed out it was there was not a single casino game in the joint. No craps tables or slot machines. The place is truly amazing. There are wild animals in the backyard. Every room has a balcony that over looks a wild life reserve. Giraffes and Gazelles in the back yard of the hotel. Amazing.

The doors leading out to the balcony have a warning sticker to hotel guests to shut their shades for privacy; because of the amount of pictures people take. Basically, if you were going to be “doing it like they do on the discovery channel” close the blinds. (SEE PICTURE)

We had a good time because we have not seen Kevin and his crew in three months. His kids like Max and Max seemed to have a good time. We decided to have dinner at one of the hotel’s restaurants.
While we were walking down the hall of the hotel…Okay you have to picture this:
There are 4 adults and 4 kids walking down the hall. We are spread out. Kevin and the kids are about 20 feet ahead of me rushing to see who gets to hit the button for the elevator. I am about 20 feet behind them walking with Maxfield and Lauren and Felicia(Kevin's Wife) are about 20 feet behind me. We are holding a conversation, over the space of 40 feet, about the how difficult it is to get a babysitter. I yell back to Flea and Lauren that it would probably be easier to pay a hooker to watch Max. Just as I am yelling, “get a prostitute” a young couple walks out of their room between Felicia and myself.
Yep. They got on the same elevator as us. I didn’t make eye contact with them because I was pretty sure they were giving me dirty looks.

The next night we met them for dinner at one of Disney’s other resorts. Kevin made a reservation at a fun, interactive family place. The staff screams and yells and throws stuff. The kids get to whoop it up and run around. There is a lot of noise and commotion. Of course when we get there we have to wait a while. They gave our reservation away because we were not EARLY. We were ON TIME. Anyway, we are waiting and waiting and Kevin goes up to the host and asks a question about how much longer. The host responds “Oh you’ll be happy that you waited because you will be seated in the good section”.

Kevin comes back to us in the somewhat crowded lobby and he has to speak loudly because of the noise “She said not to worry about the hour wait because we will be in the good section….” And just as the room gets quiet he finishes his thought, “…let me tell you, the good section better include hookers and midgets because after waiting for an hour I would like to see some midgets.”

We got a few more looks from the other people waiting. It was damn funny.

We had a good time. It was great to see everyone. Thanks for dinner Kevin and Felicia. It was fun. Even without the hookers. And midgets.


c said...

I can honestly say that, had my family been there (at either location), we totally would have high-fived you and your brother.

Midgets indeed.

Susie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA. You family (extended and immediate) sounds so funny! Great senses of humor :)

Anonymous said...

Remind me to bring you all along if I ever go to Disney because your version sounds WAY better.

Anonymous said...

I would have thought you were referencing Snow White and the seven dwarves. The whole thing sounds like fun.

mary bishop said...

I was in Disney last month -- we waited an hour for a table but the food was so expensive and so horrid that even hookers and midgets wouldn't have helped.

I ordered a margarita that had no alcohol in it...(not on purpose I wanted and needed the alcohol!)

How do I know? I took the drink with me in an empty sippy cup so I wouldn't look too weird -- put it in the freezer when we got back to the hotel and the whole thing froze up like a popsicle.

Maybe I needed to bring some fun family members with me to make it a really good trip!

Effie said...

Y'know, I think a prostitute might cost more per hour than a babysitter, although they may be much easier to find! And I'm not sure you'd like what she taught poor little Maxfield while you were out....
....didja see any midget prostitutes? That would have been a sight...