Friday, June 17, 2005

Happy Fathers Day

Lesson’s that my dad taught me. Some will need explanations some will not.

Don’t hit your brother. This was the #1 rule.

Double Jeopardy – If you are going to be late do NOT call. You will get yelled at or in trouble twice. When you call they will be mad and yell at you. Then, when you finally get to the destination that you were late for, they will yell and be mad again. If you don’t call you will only take shit once. (This rule pertains to wife/girlfriend scenarios not parents).

Piss In Your Socks- Before “timeouts”, if one of us acted up we would be sent to our room. We could only to be released on Dad’s okay. Of course we would try every excuse to get out of the banishment. “DAAaaaaAADD”, we would call out down the steps, “I have to go to the bathroom”. My dad would yell back up the steps. “Piss in your socks”.

'Poop and Boogies shut up and eat it." (see profile).

"Be home at 5 o’clock. "

Parlay a Hard 8- Dad taught pretty much all of us how to play craps. One of his favorite bets is the hard 8. If you put $10 on a hard 8 and it hits you win 10 to 1 odds. Instead of taking the $100 that you won, you let it ride. If it hits again you now have a $1000. You let that ride. Why? “Because it is only a $10 bet.” he would say.

"I Did Okay"- If you win big or lose big at the casino or race track the answer when you get home should always be “I did okay”. “I broke even.” is also an acceptable answer.

"You can’t lead your life following your pecker."

"Sometimes doing the right thing isn’t always the easiest thing."

I chose your mother not you.- Whenever one of us would get into an argument or be punished by our mother we would go to dad to see if he could intervene. His answer was “I chose your mother. Not you.”
“What? Are you saying you didn’t want to have me?”, was the typical smart assed teenage response.
“No I didn’t say that. We chose to have you but I didn’t choose your personality. When I decided to marry your mother, I chose her for her personality and everything about her. I will not take sides against her.”

Happy Fathers Day Dad.


c said...

I especially love the "I chose your mother not you" part. I firmly believe that the best thing parents can do for their children is have a strong relationship. Everything else follows from that.

Effie said...

Some of those sound vaguely familiar....

Lois Lane said...

Sounds very familiar. :)
Happy father's day to all the dad's!
Lois Lane

Unknown said...

Wow, your dad was pretty cool. I love the line: I chose your mother...

Susie said...

Those are great! I especially like the last one. I hope my hubby choses me as well.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Yeah, I love the "chose your mother" thing, too (as would all women), but my favorite is "You can’t lead your life following your pecker." I need to impart that bit of wisdom to my son before his pecker gets the upper hand (no pun intended).

BTW, just found you through As My World Turns... hope you'll pay me a visit, too (! Happy Father's Day!

Susie said...

Wow. As you can see, the women (including this one) are loving the "I chose" bit. Way to go, Dad!

Anonymous said...

I Miss Skip