Thursday, May 05, 2005

Mother's/Wife Day

We will busy this weekend, so I wanted to post this for Mother's Day/Wife Day (which is what it is since Max is only 1. Although I am going to garnisheed his first few weeks of allowance for the gifts).

Some reasons why my wife is the best mother/wife ever.
1.She has more patience with Maxfield than I could ever have. Even when he is flailing his arms and legs and doesn’t want to leave Gymboree. Lauren does not get embarrassed she just does her job and takes him home.
2.The fact the she can read “Barnyard Dance” 1000 times and read it like it is the first time, each time.
3.She has incredible will power. She can resist jumping my bones when I step out of the shower, when I am all done mowing the grass and I am all sweaty and even when I am sitting on the couch eating Cheetos. I tell ya it is an incredible show of strength and fortitude. I think I am hot. She does say that there is nothing sexier than me doing the dishes or laundry.
4.She humors me with ‘Snot Races”. When Max starts crying and the snot starts oozing. I say, “Pick a side, left or right.” And she does (the winner is decided once the snot reaches the top lip) She doesn’t say “that’s gross”.
5.She has Cobra like booger picking ability. She can snatch a booger from Max’s nose lightning fast. Even in motion. It’s like she sees the booger she postions her hand like a cobra in striking position. Snap! Booger gone. Max doesn’t even know what happened. I think they should make this a Rodeo type sport. I think Lauren could beat any mom in the nation. Mom Olympics, that could be cool.
6.She has the best taste in music. Even the stuff she listens to that I do not like, I like.
7.She rocks my world today as she did on the day I met her.
8.She actually will take the “shell’s off the peas before she feeds them to Max.
9.For her tolerance in letting Max do new things. For instance, we took Max for a walk in his wagon. He figured out that instead of riding in it he could pull it. Knowing full well that a 15 minute walk would become a 45 minute walk, she lets Max pull the wagon.
10.For allowing me to discuss my brilliant ideas with her. Such as the LID BIB. Which is basically a shower cap for Kids. Whenever Max is eaten something sticky ,gooey or liquidy after he gets it on his hands he always rubs his head. His hair then is always clumped together and gross. Then she says “a kid would never keep it on but it is a good Idea.”

Happy Mother’s Day Lauren. I love you. Thanks for all you do for me and Maxfield.


Anonymous said...

shhhh, bet you still won't get lucky this weekend. Nice post or not.

Random and Odd said...

OMG. That was the sweetest thing EVER. booger races. You two rock!

Happy Mother's Day!!

Nico said...

...I'm in love with Lauren, now...

Susie said...

Happy Mother's Day, Lauren! You sound awesome. You do have willpower. Cheetos? I'd be helpless in the face of my freshly showered husband with a bag of Cheetos....

Susie said...

Awesome tribute!

Effie said...

Wow--she's got some awesome will power!
I like the secret encoded message--you're so sweet!

Anonymous said...

A beautiful message for your own Princess Buttercup

Anonymous said...

you are gay