Slip Sliding Away

The other day I was mowing the yard after work. As I was making my East/West cuts across the front lawn (last week I did North/South. According to the Lawn Whisperer you should never cut your grass the same way two weeks in a row.) Lauren came out with Maxfield and said she was running to the store.

Since it was hot and humid I was quite sweaty and gross and I jumped in the shower. While I was in there Lauren returned and started calling my name.

“Bill?”
“Bill?”
“Bill!”

I called out from the bathroom, “I’m in the shower!”

Her and Max enter the bathroom. “Bill if the guy behind the counter at Publix offers Max a cookie, this is why you should never say chocolate chip is Okay.”
I slide the smoked glass door to get a better look. Max is standing there, all smiles, covered in chocolate. His hands spread wide to show me all the chocolaty goodness in between his fingers. Clumps of chocolate were freckling his face and hair.

“Take off his clothes and give him to me. I will clean him up in here.” I said.

Lauren removes his clothes and hands him over to me so I can use the hand held showerhead to rinse him down. “I am going to bring the bags in." She said and she left.

I get him all cleaned up and dry him off. I wrap the towel around my waist and take Max into the bedroom. I need to get dressed so I could take him upstairs and put him in his pajamas. I turn to get my socks out of the drawer when I hear Max giggle. I turn to see what is so funny.

There, standing in the middle of my bedroom, Max is laughing at the stream of pee that he has discovered coming out of him. He looked like one of those cement fountains. The expression on his face is like “OH that is what this does”. As he is piddling on the hardwood floors, he decides to see if he could catch it. He was like a dog chasing its tail. He is following his own stream of pee.

“Max, NO!” I yelled just a little too late.

His feet caught the puddle and like cartoon character trying to run, his legs are moving but he is not going anywhere. I could have sworn I heard the Scooby Doo running sound effect, doodleloo doodleloo doodleloo doodleloo. And before I could get to him, he crashes down in his own pee, landing on his knees. He started to cry.

I pick him up to check to see if he is injured. He seemed fine. He was dripping with pee. Now since I picked him up, I am covered in pee. We both needed to take showers again.

I am sure glad he is not at the age where I would have to kiss his knee to make it better