Monday, July 18, 2005

56 Minutes

My brother Jim was in town for a few days. He was busy coaching in a basketball tournament with my Uncle Jerry so I only got to see him in short clips. Jim is the youngest out of the 9 of us. He is also my mother’s favorite son. As a matter of fact I received a phone call from my mother to make sure that Jim was picked up at the airport and that he was fine. My dad pointed out that my mom only called because it was Jim. If it were any one of us, besides Jim, she would not have called. After I thought about it, she never called when my brother Kevin was in town. So it becomes even clearer that Jim is her favorite.

Jim and Uncle Jerry came by the house and visited for a while. It was nice for Max to see some of his relatives, although he was acting all shy for most of the visit. During our conversation Jim mentioned that he is getting much more insight into Lauren from the stuff that I post here. We also had dinner with Jim on Sunday night.

Mom,
He is doing fine and he flies out today (Monday) I am now relinquishing all responsibilities of my 30 year old brother, who is married and has three kids, back to you.


During the visit my Uncle Jerry mentioned that he has seen me more in the past few days than he normally would see me if I was living in Pennsylvania. He, as well as my dad, tends to think that I am anti-social when it comes to family functions. Just for the record, for 8 years I worked in the nightclub and restaurant business I rarely attended family parties and functions because I had to work. If the party was in the afternoon, I was usually asleep because I worked until 4 in the morning. If the party was at night, I was working. I had to make a living.
Also some family functions are based around events that either do not interest me such as the yearly 4 day golf outing (I do not golf as of yet), the family fantasy football league (I love fantasy football but have never been invited to be in the family league) or engagement parties, which I feel, is a strange party to have.

I have 8 siblings who are all married, 19 nieces and nephews, 22 aunts and uncles by blood or marriage, and 45 first cousins. I have made attempts to attend every graduation party. I have been at every one of my first cousins weddings (those that have gotten married). And I have made attempts or have attended every other type of party that comes around. That is NOT anti-social. Sure I am the co-founder of the 56 Minute Rule ©1985-2005, but hey, I try.

56 Minute Rule © 1985-2005

My brother John, AKA the Lawn Whisperer, and I, in our teens established the 56 Minute Rule. For events and parties that were going to be attended by a lot of people we would show up and leave in 56 minutes. We established that 56 minutes is the perfect amount of time to:
1. Greet most people
2. Have a soda or cocktail
3. Eat a snack
4. Work the room so people could see that we were at the event
5. And say goodbye to people that we did not greet.
56 minutes is the perfect amount of time to make a presence and have people see you and then leave to go do other things. There is an art to it. We perfected it. This may sound anti-social but there are people who would not even attend these parties. That is anti-social.

I am not mad about the observation of being anti-social. I am just trying to clarify the situation.

On another note, Emily is coming. Not the hurricane. My mother-in- law, Emily. If it was the hurricane we would be busy nailing plywood to the windows and making sure the house was secure. Since it is the mother-in-law, Emily, we are busy cleaning and vacuuming and making the house sparkle. I am not sure which requires more work.

15 comments:

kalki said...

I LOVE the 56-minute rule. Love it. We attend a ridiculous number of family reunions, picnics, etc. - I have just been liberated!

SuzanH said...

Great rule. I also have a GIANT extended family that we are very, very close with (there's a saying in our culture that we are "all from one house" meaning YOU WILL ATTEND ALL PARTIES). It's draining, isn't it?

My husband, on the other hand, rarely sees his immediate family. Weird.

Effie said...

You may have been the official co-founder of said 56-minute rule, but I think my hubby and I have been the perfectors of it--I think I have about 50 first cousins (my Mom has 8 siblings and my Dad has 10 and I have 5 siblings--ridiculous number of family members!) I try to go to EVERYTHING. The exception will be my cousin's wedding next weekend (we're moving, and no matter how much I tried to move the closing date away from the wedding date, it didn't work).
My hubby isn't fond of big family stuff but I thrive on it so we show up and stay for the right amount of time. 56 minutes is a relative amount though--for weddings, it's best to stay for the entire ceremony and dinner at least....

ieatcrayonz said...

"No, not 8 minute abs, 7 minutes! 7 minute abs!"

Sorry, that's what effie made me think of. I thought she was going to say, "You have the 56 minute rule copyright, cause we can do it in 50 minutes!"

What the hey, did your post just grow another foot? I started at the 1985-2005 copyright.

More work: MIL hands down. She may come in and cause a flurry of activity, but the hurricane won't stick around and complain about it. (Not that I'm saying MIL Emily is like this at all, I just know some women that are like that.)

Toady Joe said...

Printing out your (copyrighted) 56 Minute Rule, to share with my antisocial hermit (aka hubby). He'll love it. And it sounds like a perfect compromise between being social (my preference) and staying home (his). Thanks!

Candace said...

I, too, will share with my husband. I think Toady Joe's mate and mine were cut from the same cloth.

lawnwhisperer said...

I am glad that we can be of service to the husbands out there. This is not something that can happen overnite. It takes time and planning, and a willingness from both husband and wife to pull it off. When Bill and I first were doing this it was beautifully smooth. When I try the 56 minute rule with the wife, it gets tough. We still work in increments of 56, but when it is her family funtion, it becomes the 56x5 minute rule.

Susie said...

yThat's a great rule! My husband's extended family is big and thought I love them - the family functions get a little MUCH. Unfortunately he loves the functions. So no 56 minute rule for me.

G-Side Pride said...

the 56 minute rule has not been in affect since i was like 9. yet it is a great rule i think that it should be put back into use because our family parties are becoming too long.

aderyn said...

The 56 minute rule. I have to remember that one for the next family party I attend. I, unlike you, am quite anti-social, so this works well for me.

maggie said...

the 56 minute rule was used alot when i was younger, now, not so much.

i think its because the amount of people to say hi to and little kids to play with has increased sincew then

Random and Odd said...

William...email me please.

randomandodd@gmail.com

No_Newz said...

Sweet rule! By the way, the baby is always the baby and there's nothin' you can do about it! High-five little bro for me! (from another "baby" in the family)Big families must be all the same.
Lois Lane

Max's Favorite Uncle said...

The 56 minute rule definitely hasn't been a factor of late in our family. Bill moved to Florida and he hasn't attended a family function yet. The Lawn whisperer in the old days may have even been in and out in less then 56 minutes. Now! if there is plenty of beer at the function he'll stay longer then 56 mins. Beer has to be a light beer though.

Lori said...

I have five siblings and we have several family gatherings throughout the year. I'm fortunate, however, that my mom and dad always say, "We'd love to see you if you can come, but we understand if you can't make it." If my husband can't or doesn't feel like going, but I am free, I go without him. Neither of us is mad at the other. I've been through enough. Everyone...just do what you can. Life is too short to be mad at such nonsense!