Friday, July 01, 2005

Observations About Florida


Who ever named Florida the “Sunshine State” was full of shit. They should be sued for false advertisement. Since the end of May it has rained nearly everyday. It is pretty much like clockwork. Around 4pm and until about 7pm there are showers in Orlando everyday. It has something to do with the heat and the cool air from the east coast clashing and the area they hold their battles is Orlando.

They could have called it the “Critter State”. There are critters everywhere. Lizards, frogs, skinny squirrels, and bugs. Normally I would not call bugs critters, but the size of the Palmetto bugs make them critters. I posted a picture of one that was in the pool that was (no exaggeration) 4 inches long by 2 inches wide. The picture does not do the size of this thing justice. I tried to put my foot next to it so there would be a comparison shot but the thing swam away. I got a little freaked out and ran.

My job allows me to drive around the state. I was in the Southern East Coast area the other day (Palm County, Boca Raton, West Palm) and there are many signs for Okeechobee. I think Okeechobee is a Native American Seminole word that means either “Construction On Highway” or “Sitting in Traffic”.

Speaking of the Seminoles, did you know that they have opened a few casinos in the state? Named after of course their legendary leader the great Chief Hard Rock Café. There is one in Tampa and another in Hollywood FL.

Air conditioning is sometimes more important than food, water or personal safety. While I was driving back home from Southern Florida I realized that the fan to the blower for my AC was not working right. I of course was driving through a storm when this happened. I couldn’t put the window down because of the rain, although my car leaks which is another story. I was sweating something serious. I played with the controls. Hoping that if I clicked the knob fast enough between level 1 and 4 it would miraculously kick back on. No luck. I tried to switch between the seat vents the floor vents and the defroster vents. Nothing. Of course I am doing this while driving. In a storm. Going 60mph. Finally in frustration, I hit the dashboard with the outer edge of my fist and Ala Arthur Fonzerelli, it came back on. I will be trying this on Jukeboxes in the future.

4 comments:

Candace said...

My parents lived on the Gulf Coast for a few years. Lots of rain there, too.

Circus Kelli said...

Hmm. Maybe I should try smacking the shit outta Mabel's dashboard to get the A/C working again... ;)

mary said...

it is the same here in west palm, and I cracked up with your comments about Okeechobee! Too true!
I think that it could also be the "impatient driver state" or "bad driver state". Red lights, lane closures, u-turns, all this does not make for safe driving!
Here in Palm Beach county, "gated community state" is quite fitting. My parents are in town and my dad wanted to go to garage sales, and I said that there pretty much weren't any because every community is closed off! The paper listed ones in Ft. Lauderdale, but that is too far away!

Effie said...

"Ehhhhhh!" (said as only Arthur Fonzerelli can)

I'm impressed how often the "cave man" method of fixing things such as our tv, radio, various car ailments, can be so effective! Not always the case with my computer, however--I once slammed the laptop shut so hard (bad me--I was angry) that I had to bring it in to be repaired--that was a long time ago though and it will never happen again! Very pricey lesson to learn!