Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Mending Fences

We received a letter in the mail on Saturday stating that we were in violation of our deed restrictions issued by the Home Owner Association (HOA). The violation states that we need to repair or replace our fence. There is a problem.

We don’t have a fence. Each of our neighbors, left side, right side and back, all have fences.

Sunday I am out back spraying weed killer when I hear a lady call to me.
“Excuse me.” She said peering through a large hole in the fence in the backyard.

“Yes?” I responded while trying to cover my pasty white, shirtless chest.

“Hi, “she said, “I’m Dot (not her real name). I live here on this side of the fence. I don’t know if it was you that I talked to after the hurricane, but this fence needs to get fixed.”

“Hi. I’m Bill. I just moved in a few months ago so it was not me you talked to. I am under the impression that this fence is yours.”

“Oh. Well I thought it was yours. It is looking pretty ratty and it needs to get fixed.”

“When I bought the house I was told it was your fence and that all this landscaping on my side was done to hide the fence.”

“Well maybe we can work something out to get this fixed. You should see it from my side. It looks horrible.”

“Okay. Let me look at my deed and paper work and I will see if the fence is mine. IF it is, I will try to take care of it but I have thousands of other things to do first.”

She shook her head, “Well I'll check my paper work and let you know if it is mine. Sorry we are meeting under these circumstances.” She turned to leave.

“Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”

Two things come to my mind after this conversation.
1. I am totally embarrassed about not having a shirt on for the first time I meet a neighbor.
2. This skank called the HOA to report the fence.

I put on my shirt, grabbed the digital camera and went on a mission. I took pictures of the fence from my side, through the holes in the fence and over the fence. This fence clearly goes all around her property. I walked around the block and took pictures of the fence, in the same “ratty” condition on the front of her house. On the right side of her property are fence posts that match the fence in the back. I was gathering evidence.

Monday, Lauren goes out to get the mail and on our doorknob is a flyer for a fence contractor. Coincidence? I don’ t think so. I think one of the board members of our HOA is a fence contractor. Or, maybe, DOT herself is on the HOA board. There is a conspiracy going on here.


Anonymous said...

I think it was all a conspiracy planned so that Dot could see you without a shirt. She is such a skank.

Anonymous said...

I have a completely fenced backyard which is required because I have a pool. I actually only have six 8' sections of fence. The other 32 sections are my neighbors on three sides. Ya can tell it's their fence because I have the nice side,they have the sides with the posts,etc. That is usually a requirement, your fence you see the crappy side. On another note I've seen ya with out a shirt, yur hot can Dot be blamed for wanting a peak...

Anonymous said...

she is probably trying to scam off on you because you just bought your house, and is hoping that you'll just shell out the money to fix the fence (HER fence), but you sound like you have your act together and won't let her get away with it. I really hate home owner asscoiations right now, and they are all about who knows who, so the flyer was definitly related to them,

SuzanH said...

1) The horror of being shirtless when meeting a new neighbor--I feel your pain. I met a new one in p.j.s because I thought it was the kid next door coming over to play with my daughter.

2) Soooo glad I don't have a homeowner's association. I'm glad you're on top of stuff. What a load of crap.

Anonymous said...

Let me ask you something. Is the grass greener on the other side of the fence? If it is, you are not fertilizing enough.

Meegs said...

Lol, I'm so glad that my neighborhood does not have a HOA. I can't stand the thought of having other people tell me how I have to plant my flowers or paint my house, etc. Don't give in to their tyrany! Show thems who's boss! ;-)

ToadyJoe said...

Hate to rain on your parade here, and I totally side with you against Dot The Skank... but I believe that in the legalese of homeownership you BOTH own the fence. Thus, when the fence needs fixin', you split the cost with the neighbor on the other side. At least that's how it is in Idaho. Either that or we're just slightly less skanky here and actually work WITH our neighbors (not dissin' you, dissin' Dot The Skank and her HOA). Gah!

Random and Odd said...

Welcome to my world.

UGH. She probably fought with the last owners and they didn't back down because they did all the research and so now she's coming after you.

LOL...you said skank.

Cat said...

Skank. All staring at your pasty whiteness! Sneaky, tattletale, cheap-ass skank.

Conspiracy! CONSPIRACY! I am SOOO ANGRY for you! Just so you know!

We had a similar situation. We simply stained and refurbished OUR side of the fence. Our neighbors side continued to look craptastical, but we didn't care! Our side was spiffy! Nyah!

Um, that's all I got.

mrtl said...

Idiot neighbors suck. The woman is looking for a free ride. Hopefully this isn't a glimpse of what to expect from her in the future.

Anonymous said...

Further proof that HOAs are evil.

Unknown said...

Shortly after we moved into our new house, our backyard neighbors had their place all "specced out" with flags and what not. Then, our right side neighbors had theirs done. Our left side neighbors already had their fence. We were all "Cool! Everyone else is getting a fence! We don't have to!" so we didn't do anything. Now, they're all not doing anything either and we're going to get a fence. Silly neighbors.

I say fight Dot the Skank! More fodder for your blog! :) Neighbors can be fun! (Ask my husband -- apparently, one of our neighbors let her dogs out into their back yard one day. They have a fence, and from the first floor, you wouldn't have known anything was amiss. From our second floor, you could see she was only wearing a shirt.)

Next time you see Dot approach, take off your pants. She might not bother you anymore... OR, she might become a whole lot nicer about the fence. :)

Lois Lane said...

Get your sledgehammer Bill, take it down, you know you wanna and when you are done, plant some poison ivy for the curmudgeon.
Lois Lane

Anonymous said...

I once new a lady named Dot, who was known for calling the township to make sure you had a building permit for everything that you would do to your property. She would also, take our sports balls if they went on her lawn. Thank god her husband was nice, he gave them back to us. Bill, maybe you have Mrs. Luchuck all over again, but this time around, you are the Moyers.

c said...

We have the same problem, only we don't have an association.

Our backyard neighbors have a fence. It is clearly their fence, as the sides go into THEIR yard and not ours. About a year after we moved in, the woman of the house (while telling me that my garden would not grow where I was planting it; bitch) informed me that we should take care of the fence (it was falling apart at that point). I pointed out that the sides went into her yard and not ours, so the fence must be theirs.

She just looked at me and walked away.

We haven't done anything with the fence. We have firewood stacked in front of it, so we don't see it falling down.

Here in Ohio, it's their fence because the sides go into her yard.