We received a letter in the mail on Saturday stating that we were in violation of our deed restrictions issued by the Home Owner Association (HOA). The violation states that we need to repair or replace our fence. There is a problem.
We don’t have a fence. Each of our neighbors, left side, right side and back, all have fences.
Sunday I am out back spraying weed killer when I hear a lady call to me.
“Excuse me.” She said peering through a large hole in the fence in the backyard.
“Yes?” I responded while trying to cover my pasty white, shirtless chest.
“Hi, “she said, “I’m Dot (not her real name). I live here on this side of the fence. I don’t know if it was you that I talked to after the hurricane, but this fence needs to get fixed.”
“Hi. I’m Bill. I just moved in a few months ago so it was not me you talked to. I am under the impression that this fence is yours.”
“Oh. Well I thought it was yours. It is looking pretty ratty and it needs to get fixed.”
“When I bought the house I was told it was your fence and that all this landscaping on my side was done to hide the fence.”
“Well maybe we can work something out to get this fixed. You should see it from my side. It looks horrible.”
“Okay. Let me look at my deed and paper work and I will see if the fence is mine. IF it is, I will try to take care of it but I have thousands of other things to do first.”
She shook her head, “Well I'll check my paper work and let you know if it is mine. Sorry we are meeting under these circumstances.” She turned to leave.
“Don’t worry about it. We’ll figure something out.”
Two things come to my mind after this conversation.
1. I am totally embarrassed about not having a shirt on for the first time I meet a neighbor.
2. This skank called the HOA to report the fence.
I put on my shirt, grabbed the digital camera and went on a mission. I took pictures of the fence from my side, through the holes in the fence and over the fence. This fence clearly goes all around her property. I walked around the block and took pictures of the fence, in the same “ratty” condition on the front of her house. On the right side of her property are fence posts that match the fence in the back. I was gathering evidence.
Monday, Lauren goes out to get the mail and on our doorknob is a flyer for a fence contractor. Coincidence? I don’ t think so. I think one of the board members of our HOA is a fence contractor. Or, maybe, DOT herself is on the HOA board. There is a conspiracy going on here.