Monday, January 09, 2006

Not the Same

The type of music that I listen to varies on my mood and I did not bring much music into my marriage. My preferences are, Counting Crows, Peter Gabriel, Billy Joel, Dire Straits, the Kinks as well as other random bands. I maybe had a total of 20 CDs when I met Lauren.

When I started dating Lauren she had a whole mix of music she listened to. Some I knew, but did not appreciate, like James Brown, Elvis, Tori Amos and Sting. But she also introduced me to bands and singers I never even heard of like Morphine, Ben Folds, Ottmar Leibert, and Royal Crown Revue. She brought over 150 CDs into our marriage. Over the years I have come to truly appreciate her taste in music and lyrics and have become a big fan of her music selection.

When I hit the age of 30 I started getting into what the “Kids these days” were into, Kid Rock, Eminem, Destiny’s Child (yes I am admitting that I own a Destiny Child’s CD), the Black Eyed Peas as well as a bunch of country music. Lauren, being the supportive wife that she is, has developed a liking to some of this music as well.

We are now exposing Maxfield to as much music as we can. Max likes music. He likes Laurie Berkner and the Schwartzmen Quartet from one of his favorite shows Jack’s Big Music Show. But there are visuals that go along with this music.

Lately we are experiencing issues with Max’s tastes when there are no visuals. We always play CD’s in the car and Max will let us know when he wants the music changed, which is all the time. He does not like slow songs. He whines when a mid-tempo song is being played. You see he is a bit of a snob. Max likes only ONE song. Ben Folds’ “Not The Same” from Rockin’ the Suburbs and Ben Folds Live. He rocks out to it in his car seat.

I don’t know if I should feel bad letting him listen to a song about a guy who trips out on acid and becomes born again.


Kate Giovinco Photography said...

My husband and I listen to totally different music, but some we can tollerate and enjoy of eachothers. SOME!

You have to post a picture of Max jamming in his car seat!

ieatcrayonz said...

You can't hide Max from this world forever. Might as well start 'em off young.

Anonymous said...

I don't know any of those people, What about Asia, didn't you listen to Aisa as a kid, You probably liked Journey as well.

ToadyJoe said...

Pix! Pix! Pix!

Must... have... pix!

It's just not the SAAAAME without pix!

Lois Lane said...

From the photo below, you should be trying super hero theme songs on his ears. Or maybe this acid trippy fella is a super hero to Max??
Lois Lane

Unknown said...

Punkin likes Disney. Sweet Pea likes Wiggles. Buddy has no preference so far. We listen to Hubby's music when we're all in the truck, and I listen to my music on Sunday mornings.

boyhowdy said...

Don't feel bad. My three-year-dol's favorite song is Guster's "Barrel of a Gun" (oh, how wonderfully PC THAT lyric is!)...but for her first year and a half of life the ONLY song she wouldlisten to -- and the one we had to play all day -- was Andrew WK's "Party" -- itself a violent thrash song with a bit of a cheery but sinister message.

Odd, especially, since my wife really only likes classical -- and though my tastes have changed SOMEWHAT like yours (more indie stuff, NO Destiny's Child), I tend to prefer contemporary folk and bluegrass.

No telling what our second will like...but she seems partial to Xmas music.

Unknown said...

I have wide ranging and passionate taste in music, and I intend to instill that in Nathan. He so far has not exhibited a preference among my adult music, but he definately loves Veggietales CDs. Only problem is he doesn't really like the videos yet, because the dialogue parts bore him, but I find them hilarious. I have recently started censoring my music when he's around. No more Black Eyed Peas, no more Eminem, only the tamest of Destiny's Child. Christian punk/pop like Relient K works for me. Kids pick up lyrics much too quickly, even if they don't fully understand them.

Grace said...

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Update accordingly Please!

Anonymous said...

You sound just like me. Casey had hundreds of CD's(and keeps accumulating more) , and I had a few. I enjoy the radio in the car (and it is edited, so I don't have to worry about curse words with current songs).
You should buy a Spoon album. I have a home video(DVD) of Brenna dancing to "That's the Way We Get By" (a Spoon song). She loves that band. Max might also like, Junior Senior (they are pretty peppy).
I'm still waiting for Megan and Barry to mail me the CD's that they were supposed to bring to Orlando over Christmas. (I think that they have "For the Kids" and some They Might be Giants CD's for kids, I'm curious to know what they sound like).

Kami said...

Well, my kid likes to jam out to Gwen. I don't know. I guess you need to get Max some velvet posters for his room.

Anonymous said...

I feel so sorry for children who are subjected to music that is totally inappropriate for them. They have no control and have to just sit there and take in something that may be so totally contrary to their innocent spirits and minds.

Whatever happened to sweet child-like songs with fun lyrics that rhyme and allow a child to develop wholesome attitudes and express their happy feelings?

It's bad enough that they have to listen to sounds that rattle those tiny ear bones to such a degree that they lose their hearing at an early age, without having to deal with music that fosters aggression in them that they can't express.

We do so many things for our children but totally leave out the common sense in choosing things they have to listen to and disregard the damage that it does.

c said...

Blah, blah, blah, person above me.

Bite it.

Sorry, William, I think that drive-by parenting sucks and people should be called on it.

My kids love everything we love, including but not limited to Green Day, Blink 182, Barry Manilow, Ben Folds Five, my husband's bands, The Buzzcocks, The Cure, etc. Of course we edit out the bad words (by turning the music down at appropriate times or just by not listening to those songs that have bad words in them).

They loved The Wiggles and various other "kid music" but have moved on now, and I don't think 8 and 5 are too young for "grown-up" music. I started listening to music on the radio back in the 70s when I was 8 and 9 and I'm a pretty decent person.

So, "nobody you'd know", shut it until someone ASKS you your opinion.

c said...

(Oops, looks like Suzanne was commenting at the same time I was, so when I say, "blah, blah, blah person above me" I mean 'nobody you'd know', NOT Suzanne.)

Nature Girl said...

Could be worse I suppose..It could be Big Balls or something like that. I had an "incident" with AC/DC in the car over Halloween that resulted in a "sing-off" of sorts with my 2 teenage boys..I think Nobody I'd know would have a heartattack over that one! LOL Nothing wrong with it from my standpoint...I'm with the ladies that want to see the pic! Stacie

Tammy said...

Okay, my 5 year old listens to Whiskey Girl and I Love This Bar on his hand held CD player. It's pretty funny hearing him singing those songs at the top of his lungs when all else is quiet.

Does that make me a terrible mom?

Tammy said...

Oh, and Nobody - I feel sorry for your kid - if indeed you have any.

When they get away from your over-protective ass they will be shell shocked into reality.


Susie said...

I was raised on Beatles music and used to sing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds in church a capella at age 3. I think I turned out just fine. Diversity is the key and thats what Max is getting. Driveby parents suck. The job is tough enough as it is. People should be more supportive and less critical. Liam listens to Bon Jovi. Next stop, a mullet. Bring it on.

Lauren hope your pregnancy is going well!!!!!

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

Rock on Lauren. Well said! I couldnot agree with you more.

Anonymous said...

Lauren, I'm so proud of you, for responding to "nobody you'd know". Your response was awesome. I'm a grandmother and sing all kinds of songs with my grandchildren, including 'Redneck Woman'. We do sing 'Hell Yeh" loud and clear. But we also say Grace before meals, and go to church together and pray. The kids know when and where they are free to sing our favorite songs. We listen to all kinds of music. Music lifts the soul.Music warms the heart. The lyricist and the composer....words and music.....Andrew Lloyd Webber, Cole Porter,Elton John,Alan Jackson, Toby Keith, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen, etc. etc. Music that makes you cry, music that makes you laugh, music that makes you that makes you, slow and in between. Good for you Lauren. There is no room for negativity in Max's life. You're doing a great job. Keep it up! Expose him to it all. He will learn a lot about life from the music. My grandkids love it and so do I!

Lauren said...

Yes, Ben Folds rocks. I saw him in Baltimore with the symphony. Awesome.

Cat said...

Nobody is an ass!

Hee. "Nobody is an ass"...

Okay, Somebody (who shall be called Nobody) is a big fat ass! (and quite cowardly for hiding behind anonymity, I might add). Or maybe I'm just feeling guilty for exposing my kids to "Pretty Fly for a White Guy" ("Give it to me, baby! Uh-huh, uh-HUH!") and the entire sountrack to Buffy's "Once More With Feeling" (awesome episode! It's a musical! You HAVE to see it!). When Anya sings that Xander's "penis got diseases from a Shumach tribe!" my kids just belt it out along with her... heh. They LOVE it. They also love Phantom of the Opera, Les Mis, and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.

So Somebody (who shall be called Nobody)? BITE. ME.

I saw Grease, like, 400 times as a child (I am NOT exaggerating) because my mother loved it, and when she put that pirated VHS tape in and turned it on, VOILA! Instant silence and sibling harmony in the home. Of course, when John Travolta is rubbing that Saran Wrappy stuff on his crotch singing, "With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door! You know that ain't no shit we'll be getting lots of tit in Grease Lightning!" we had ABSOLUTELY no idea that is what he was saying. In fact, I didn't know until I watched the movie in college and really heard the lyrics: "You know that I ain't bragging she's a real pussy wagon! Grease lightning!"

I called my mom and I was like, "O! M! G! MOM! What were you THINKING?!"

She just laughed and said, "Well, you had NO idea, so..."

And look at me! TOTALLY normal!


Susie said...

I have NO worries that your dirty little occasional hot dog-eater is in good hands, and will listen to nothing that will do him harm while he's with you.

My LG started imitating, and questioning lyrics pretty early. I thought I was safe with an oldies station on, until I started REALLY listening, and more to the point, so did she, and she asked, "What does he mean when he says 'I want to kiss you all over? Does he mean my . . . '" and she proceeded to go over the proper terms for the female anatomy that we had discussed earlier. This was about age 3. I told her that, well, he could mean that, or he could mean "all over the place," like on the porch, in the front yard . . . yikes!

Then I switched to country or contemporary Christian in the car, although we listen to everything imaginable (minus metal) in the house. She asked for a Carrie Underwood CD for Christmas.

I haven't heard Max's favorite song, but it sounds like it has a happy ending :)

You two are so obviously smitten with that boy, as it should be; don't let Anon McNasties get to you. Some folks have more trouble than others using their time constructively.

Anonymous said...


I love poignant dia-blog.

'nobody you'd know' has a valid but misplaced comment. I do think children at large are made to deal with things they are not prepared for. I believe it to be an epidemic...especially where I live. The fact is, most music on the radio has a very adult message, even if it is just implied...and so, much to my dismay, it is the Wiggles for the 500th time.

Let me say this. Bill and Lauren, you are clearly amazing parents. I have come to respect your parenting style and philosophies as have they are made evident in your posts. More impressive yet - you have great aesthetics (coming from a fellow aging hipster). Max is lucky to have parents that are 'rockin the suburbs just like Quiet Riot did'.

Some of my favorite BFs songs: Smoke, Fred Jones pt2 and Carrying Cathy.

LizzieDaisy said...

We did the kid music with my first one. My fourth, well, she listens to it when her brothers aren't in the car but that's it. Her brothers suffered enough as children and deserve some time to listen to their own music now, as do I. She has her favorite rock songs and asks to listen to certain ones (like "the September song") pretty often. Music isn't just about the lyrics, it's about rythym, harmony and different types of sounds. Listening to crappy kid music isn't doing her any favors. Classical is a whole different ball game... but try that all day. My parents did that with me and I rarely listen to it now and refuse to listen to opera. So much for the parents shoving music down your throat thing working out... it's the one area my parents really worked on and because o it, failed miserably in.

I gotta way if anyone knows anything about parenting around here, it's probably William cause he knows what worked for his parents with NINE kids. If you try to control everything they do and steer them YOUR way, they'll rebell. It's a given. If you talk about your own values and explain them, listen to your children and give them choices, they will most likely make the right choices later on. I did. My husband did. Video games, music and movies won't sway loving and PRESENT parenting, good morals, and a strong family life.

And Asia and Journey are awesome... :)

Michelle said...

Glad I found your blog. Could be worse - my kids (ages 14 months-4 years) love The Smiths. They call it "Mommy Music" - and they'll grow up just fine. I'll bookmark you - thanks for the laugh!

Anonymous said...

ben folds' "not the same" may have the over-his-head storyline you described, but a song is a song. most of us, not just little kids, don't listen first to lyrics anyway - and that is one wonderful, beautiful song. your kid has great taste!