The other day, while Lauren was tiling the bathroom, I took Max and Wyatt to the playground down the street.
There, I met Mike and Denise and their two kids. During our chit-chat they mentioned they recently moved to our neighborhood. I told them that our family was new the development and we started talking about home repair and renovations.
Denise mentioned that they gutted their bathroom.
"That's funny. " I said. "We just did the same thing. As a matter of fact I brought the kids down here so they would be out of my wife's hair while she installs the tile."
"Your wife is laying tile?" Mike asked.
"Yes." I replied.
Mike looked at his wife. "Did you hear that? His WIFE is laying the tile." He said smiling as if to point out that maybe it would be cool if she learned how to lay tile.
"So." Denise said. "She is laying tile." And she gave Mike That Face that only a woman can give her husband.
That Face that is a half squint and fake smile, where the head slightly nods up and down and side to side at the same time. That Face that can that say so many things at the same time. Things like "Shut up idiot" (where the emphasis is on the UP part), or "I can't believe you said that." or "I am going to kill you when we get home." or "I can't believe I married him." or it is a simple as "Please be quiet." And That Face is usually difficult for the receiver interpret.
Mike did not pick up on the subtle/obvious hints from That Face.
“Wow. That’s impressive that your wife is laying tile.” Mike said.
Denise sighed and said “Yes Mike. I get it. His wife is laying tile.”
They weren’t bickering. He was trying to be funny. She wanted nothing of his humor.
I tried to defuse the situation and I have recorded here, before, how sometimes I have no filter between my brain and my mouth and I said, “Well at least my wife is laying something in our house.”
Denise looked at me as if to say Did I just hear what I thought I heard?
Mike said nothing.
I laughed nervously and gave Max the five more minute warning. “Sorry.” I mumbled. “Bad Joke.”
Two Minutes later, Mike started cracking up. “ I just got that.” He said.
I then tried to explain to them my filter problem. Denise stopped me in mid sentence, “Don’t’ worry about it. He is the same way.” She said and pointed at her husband.
He then told me a few stories about his filter problem. We all laughed and it was good.
When I got home, I told Lauren about the exchange.
She gave me That Face.