Friday, October 12, 2007

Face

The other day, while Lauren was tiling the bathroom, I took Max and Wyatt to the playground down the street.

There, I met Mike and Denise and their two kids. During our chit-chat they mentioned they recently moved to our neighborhood. I told them that our family was new the development and we started talking about home repair and renovations.

Denise mentioned that they gutted their bathroom.

"That's funny. " I said. "We just did the same thing. As a matter of fact I brought the kids down here so they would be out of my wife's hair while she installs the tile."

"Your wife is laying tile?" Mike asked.

"Yes." I replied.

Mike looked at his wife. "Did you hear that? His WIFE is laying the tile." He said smiling as if to point out that maybe it would be cool if she learned how to lay tile.

"So." Denise said. "She is laying tile." And she gave Mike That Face that only a woman can give her husband.

That Face that is a half squint and fake smile, where the head slightly nods up and down and side to side at the same time. That Face that can that say so many things at the same time. Things like "Shut up idiot" (where the emphasis is on the UP part), or "I can't believe you said that." or "I am going to kill you when we get home." or "I can't believe I married him." or it is a simple as "Please be quiet." And That Face is usually difficult for the receiver interpret.

Mike did not pick up on the subtle/obvious hints from That Face.

“Wow. That’s impressive that your wife is laying tile.” Mike said.

Denise sighed and said “Yes Mike. I get it. His wife is laying tile.”

They weren’t bickering. He was trying to be funny. She wanted nothing of his humor.

I tried to defuse the situation and I have recorded here, before, how sometimes I have no filter between my brain and my mouth and I said, “Well at least my wife is laying something in our house.”

Denise looked at me as if to say Did I just hear what I thought I heard?

Mike said nothing.

I laughed nervously and gave Max the five more minute warning. “Sorry.” I mumbled. “Bad Joke.”

Two Minutes later, Mike started cracking up. “ I just got that.” He said.

I then tried to explain to them my filter problem. Denise stopped me in mid sentence, “Don’t’ worry about it. He is the same way.” She said and pointed at her husband.

He then told me a few stories about his filter problem. We all laughed and it was good.

When I got home, I told Lauren about the exchange.

She gave me That Face.

28 comments:

Teri said...

I think you and the rest of the men need to run to the nearest hardware store and buy that "filter". stupid, stupid, men!

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Ahhh . . . the Face. I know it well. In fact, I gave it to my husband just yesterday as he was telling someone that "we" tiled our kitchen oursevles. Unless I had a mouse in my pocket that day, there was no "we" involved. Clearly, you are a wiser man, known to give credit where credit is due.

Sharpie said...

THE FACE. I love it. And I use it. Regularly.

Meegs said...

Lol, oh yes... the face. It's something every woman learns early. And uses often. Travis also has no filter, and he gets The Face all the time.

Above Average Joe said...

Why dont women realize men can and will turn any statement into a sexual inuendo.

ewe are here said...

Sounds like Mike's a little slow on the uptake there. And I'd've given you The Face, too.

Effie said...

(insert THE FACE here)

mmm-hmmm
;)

MP said...

In MY house...I would have said that and my husband would have given me THAT FACE....

rudecactus said...

I pretty much knew going into it that the filter issue - hence, the laying - was going to come into it somehow. At least you weren't talking about pipes.

The Egel Nest said...

You know when they separate the girls and boys in like 4th grade for the "health" lecture...that must be when they teach THE FACE.

I know it well fro my wife...and no...she doesn't lay tile...and would have reacted the same way...lol

Bradley
The Egel Nest

By the way, I hope that Mike and Denise don't read your blog...lol

Melanie said...

I'm sorry...I just happened to find your blog while i was looking for something about Little Bill's dad (from Nick Jr.) How weird is that?!?!! But seriously, I LOVE it! The way you blog is like ready a really funny book! I've really been enjoying it so I thought I'd let you know. Thanks!!!

SAHMmy Says said...

Fantastically funny! Found you through the blogroll on Egel's Nest.

Chris H said...

I know THAT FACE too, I am sure I give it to Stew a dozen times a week, if not more!

Rach the Bach said...

I have mastered that face. My husband unfortunately knows it well...probably because he, too, has no filter. Where can I get one of those filters? Ace Hardware? Good post!

Circus Kelli said...

Back in May, Hubs and the kids and I went over to a neighbor's for a get-together. We were all standing around talking in the kitchen and a couple of the husbands were talking about the housework they do around the house. I have Hubby a whole 'nother face -- one of incredulousness (yeah, I'm sure that's a word) and sputtered "What?! Am I the only woman here who works full time AND does the majority of the housework?!" My guess is "yes" because I haven't been invited to a single get-together since. The wives in the neighborhood apparently don't want me talking to their husbands.

Circus Kelli said...

Make that I GAVE Hubby... sheesh.

mrtl said...

oooh - neighbor friends. did you get digits?

your word verification is way too long. (hahaha - submitted without trying and it gave me nnpro)

Toni said...

Oh, I have to thank you for my first unexpected laugh of the day after a pretty crummy night.

Patience said...

"The Face", "The Look". Men don't know when to Shut UP! That's why we have to use it.

kalki said...

Hee. You should probably be chaperoned everywhere you go. :)

Stepping Over the Junk said...

was this your very first time meeting these people???!! I am cracking up. I'd SO be your friend after an exchange like that.

cat said...

I am SO sad you aren't coming out here next week. You and TGIM would TOTALLY get along. And HEE! You know, with the laying innuendo? Although I would have given you The Face, too. Just sayin'.

Anonymous said...

Mike and Denise have spent the last few days looking for another playground.

Anonymous said...

By the way.

Was denise hot?

The story would be better if Denise was hot.

Nilbo said...

Wait. Your wife is laying some -- ohhhhhhh.

Yeah, you totally deserved The Face. I mean, I sympathize, and I would have made the same joke, and gotten The Face. But ... hell, it was worth it.

Oh, The Joys said...

Are you one of those guys that people say, "He's great... in small doses?"

Giving you THE FACE, too.

Word, Lauren.

shelookslikeme.wordpress said...

Filter, schmilter. What would our wives do if we didn't give them a reason to deliver The Face?
Good one.

Kami said...

Love it.