Monday, August 01, 2005

Sunday Munch

Yesterday, Lauren, Max and I went for a morning walk at about 9am. We walked down the block when we saw one of neighbors with her beagle. Max finds it very difficult to walk by a dog without trying to grab a handful of hair as a keepsake. We said hello, and Max ran over to the beagle and sat down on the grass to pet it.

I looked at where Max was sitting and realized he plopped his ass right on top of an anthill. I scooped him up with my left arm under his butt. I started to feel a tingly sensation on my forearm. I looked and saw that Max was covered in ants. Frantically I started to smack them off of his shorts. The neighbor lady said something like “well they don’t look like the red fire ants.”

The tingly sensation was now becoming a prickly sensation on my arm and on my left leg. I looked down and there were about 100 ants crawling up my ankle and calf. These buggers were biting me. They were biting hard. It felt like needles. If they were biting me, they were biting Max.

Within seconds I started getting welts on my forearm and leg. I am holding Max with my left arm, smacking ants on Max with my right arm, meanwhile the ants are treating my leg like it is a buffet. Lauren is assisting me with the herd of ants on Max and says we should take off his shorts, which we did. The neighbor lady says something like “Good Luck” and leaves. Lauren took Max. Now that I had hands free I started to smack my legs and kill the fuckers that were feasting on my ankle. They got into my sock and shoe so I had to take them off.

We decided to head home to give Max a bath and check his bites. I am sure it was a funny sight to see. The three of us walking up the street, Max with no pants, me with one shoe on and one shoe off, and each of us randomly smacking our bodies because of the phantom ants that feel like they are crawling on us.

Max had about 10 welts on his ankle and 2 on his back. I had 15 bites on my arm and too many to count on my leg. It was not a good start to our Sunday.

I can still feel them crawling on me. (shudder).

11 comments:

Meegs said...

I just got the worst "heebee-jeebee's" reading that. Ouch!! Hope those welt go away soon.

Circus Kelli said...

ew ew ew... poor max, poor you!

SoozieQ said...

GAH! I did not need to read this first thing Monday morning. I have to go shower (AGAIN!) to get the p.a. (phantom ants) off me!

mrtl said...

Yuk! Lauren unscathed? Lucky her!

ieatcrayonz said...

Oh no. Poor Max.

It's odd, but I read a similar story like this last Monday.

Nasty buggers are everywhere, trying to eat our children.

Lauren said...

Let me just say that Max took it like a man, not a tear or whimper from him. Bill?... not so much.

Nico said...

^ that's exactly what I was thinking. It seems like Max didn't say a single thing...what a brave boy.

Random and Odd said...

That happened to me when I was in high school and I fell into it so it instantly pissed them off.

I had to take off my shirt in front of a bunch of high school boys.

After something like that happens you better learn to laugh because you will be teased for the next two years of your HS experience.

Susie said...

Bad ants. Bad.

SuzanH said...

Shuddering myself now.

Sorry that happened to you. Stupid bugs.

eclectic said...

We lived in Lake Mary when our daughter was little and the fire ants swarmed into her room one night. Her screams woke us like a knife. She was covered in ants and welts. It was horrifying! And though she was only 2 at the time, she actually remembers it, so it must've been pretty traumatic, poor kid. Feeling bad for Max and for you.