Thursday, August 18, 2005

Idle Thoughts

Last Friday we went out to eat dinner at Don Pablo’s (a wonderful Irish cuisine place*joke*).

Maxfield is now at the age (17 months) where he is feeling his independence and wants to walk everywhere. He enters every store and public place we go like he owns the place. It is his personal playground. So we enter Don Pablo’s and Max darts off towards the bar (because I have been training him well). Lauren chases him down. I am left standing at the vacant hostess station holding a stuffed Elmo doll.

The hostess approaches and says “How many tonight?”

I look at her, look at Elmo and say “Just the two of us. Elmo and myself.”

She looked a little frightened. “I’m just kidding. Two plus a high chair please.” I said as another hostess approached the podium. The first girl must have been in training because the second girl started explaining the seating chart and what not. I probably freaked the girl out on her first night on the job.

We were seated and as most parents do, we started pulling out all the toys out of the diaper bag for Max to play with, because “Idle hands are the devil’s workshop”. The “Devil’s workshop” usually likes to:
1.Grab silverware
2.Throw the children’s Menu
3.Scream
4.Whine
5.Bang the table with a sippy cup
6.Arch back nearly knocking over high chair.
7. Eat crayon's (given with childrens menu)

The Devil’s workshop is busy.

Anyway, we ordered our food. Mexican food, no matter what you order is pretty much the same thing just in a different presentation. As we were waiting our waitress came over and handed a ball of dough to Max. They do this for all kids at this restaurant. Max was quite delighted in his new pseudo-edible toy. The Devil’s workshop closed for the night. The waitress also informed us that every Monday they have a kid’s night. They have clowns and games and stuff so the kids can have fun while their parents eat Chimichangas. We will have to back for this.

Fast forward to after the meal. We are sitting chatting when a lady, dressed in normal everyday clothes walks up and asks us how are meal was.

I looked at her and said, “It was very good some strange lady.” I called her just that. “Some strange lady.” I knew she was the manager just checking on tables. But she was not wearing the Don Pablo’s staff shirt. She did not introduce herself. She did not say “excuse me’. She just walked up and asked how our food was. She could have been another customer inquiring about our dishes, which, I find strange.

The manager kind of half chuckled and took my empty plate. I immediately felt bad that I called her strange, but I was trying to make a point. I was trying to be funny. But then I felt bad, because, like most people, the manager did not get my sense of humor.

I turned to Lauren and said, “I feel bad I called her strange, but she just walks up to us and asks us about our dinner, no intro, no “I’m the manager”, just “how was your meal?”. She could have been anyone. Calling her strange just slipped out. I hate when I do that sometimes.”

Lauren laughed, “You know, Bill, when we first started dating, I always wondered if you even had in your brain an internal self editing switch. I always thought there is no relay, he just thinks something than says it. No hesitation. But it has gotten a lot better.”

I used to think that I thought too much about what I was going to say. Now I think I "think" too little. But by thinking about what I am going to say, but not saying what I am thinking is really confusing. I think.

At least I am getting better.

14 comments:

kalki said...

Good grief, you are a riot! You had me rolling from Elmo to "Devil's workshop" to the "some strange lady." Thanks - I needed that this morning.

Dancewriter said...

This was such a fun post! Thanks! I really loved the bit about you and elmo - just the two of you. Classic!

Candace said...

Funny!

My husband also lacks a social filter in his brain.

It gets him in some amount of trouble but dammit if he doesn't make me laugh ALL OF THE TIME.

Jewl said...

That is way too much thinking for me this morning.
At least you don't say the "F" word as if is a normal part of the vocabulary. My husband will go up to sales clerk and ask her if she has a shirt in this F-ing size... Ahhh, the joys of living with a Marine...

SoozieQ said...

Classic. The Elmo thing is something I'd do, but I couldn't do the "strange lady" thing. I do think too much and worry people will hate me. But I certainly appreicate those who lack the "social filter" (as Misfit called it) because they keep the rest of us laughing

Don't you dare change or "get better". Of course, Lauren has to live with you so she might disagree ;-)

ieatcrayonz said...

7. Eat crayon's (given with childrens menu)

That's my kind of kid. And waitresses wonder why I ask for the kiddie menu, even before I had my baby.

I wonder if our Don Pablo's has clown night? Of course, I don't want to scare the wee babe senseless so young in life. I know way too many adults that are scared of clowns.

If it makes you feel any better, your remark was no more rude than strange lady coming up to you sans introduction. She deserved it. You were way too kind. I probably would have called her a freakshow psycho.

Effie said...

I think you traumatized both the new waitress and the manager. They both went home that night and cried themselves to sleep...
*just joking*
I laughed when I saw that you asked for a table for you and Elmo!! So cute--it would have been interesting if she actually went to get you a table...teeheehee
And that manager should have known better--it could have been a kooky stranger just pretending to work there. Rather than say "Hi strange person" I would have said something like "Do you work here?" Might have had a little more tact, but if your wife says you're improving--that's a giant step in itself!

mrtl said...

Too funny! Manager lady had it coming. You can't do that kind of work without a sense of humor.

No_Newz said...

The Elmo and stranger comments both were very funny. As long as you are enjoying yourself, never self edit. :)
Lois Lane

Kari said...

My hubby does the same stuff, no self editing with in the mind. The difference is he doesn't seem to feel bad afterward or even slightly embarrassed. I guess I get to deal with all the embarassment as I tell him to stop and apologize for my incredibley outspoken, loves to shock people, everything's a joke husband.

Anonymous said...

"some strange lady" never identified herself as the manager even after your comment? Maybe she really was some other customer who was in need of an empty plate.

eclectic said...

You are hilarious, William! Edited wit is not wit at all, then; it's prepared schtick. Wit is far more....well....witty.

Susie said...

You are funny and delightful and don't need a bit of editing. Enjoy your break, and thank you for including me in your list of places to visit.
I have had that "stranger inquires as to dining experience" experience quite a few times recently. Did they all go to the same seminar or something? All these managers not wearing a uniform shirt, or a nametag or any damn thing, just walking up and asking if everything was OK. Whassup with that?

LizzieDaisy said...

Man you are funny. I married my hub cause he has that kinda thing going. I love that. Your wife probably does too. Keeps you on your toes.

Anyway... I have a new tip again. Don Pablos huh. Will call them right away... didn't know they had a kids' night AND margaritas. Woot!

Missing your blog. Be back soon, but enjoy the time off.