In Strictest Confidence

I have not told a story about my parent's in a while. Part of this blog is supposed to be about them and how I was raised.

Growing up if I had a secret to share, or I needed to rat someone out but did not want to be considered the rat, or had an embarrassing situation that I needed help with, I told my mom. I think everyone in my family did.

Mom was not a gossip. She did not tell the neighbors secret information. Sure sometimes she would tell her sisters (she has 9) but that was to be expected. I of course would be mad if she disclosed information. “Mom I can’t believe you told Aunt Z. that I told you that I thought her kids were brats.”

“Well when you told me,” she would say, “you didn’t say it was in strictest confidence.”,

So if you ever wanted her sworn secrecy, you had to preface your confession, secret, dirty laundry or what not with “This is in Strictest Confidence”. It was the code for “Please, please, please swear to god, hope to die, stick a needle in your eye, that you will not tell another living soul.”

Most of the secrets were silly things about girlfriends or friends or brothers. Sometimes they were more serious situations like, “Mom, I am quitting my job to work in theater.” Or “This in strictest confidence, but I am living with my girlfriend.”

Usually I would tell her things so she could act like a buffer when I had to tell my dad. She sometimes would lecture. Sometimes offer counsel or advice. But as far as I know she always kept the secret.

To this day I use the "In strictest confidence" code with my brothers. Sometimes I use it with friends and I forget they are not "in" on the code, that "In strictest confidence" is not a universal code for secrecy. It gets me into trouble form time to time.

This is NOT in strictest confidence. I love you Mom.



I expect a ton of comments from my brothers about me sucking up to mom.