Monday, August 16, 2010

The Dark Side

Maxfield closed his eyes, extended his arm towards the middle of the kitchen table and slowly bent his hand back to a 30 degree angle. Ten seconds later he opened his eyes and looked disappointed. Wyatt closed his eyes and did the same arm motion.

"What are you guys doing?" Lauren asked.

"We're trying to use the Force." Max answered.

"I am trying to move that cup." Wyatt added.

"How does the Force work?" Max asked.

"How does it say it works in the movie?" Lauren answered with a question. I love the fact that she did not answer by saying that the Force is not real or that it is only pretend. She lets them believe. There is a sweet and comforting innocence to the conversation. I am across the room smiling from ear to ear.

Earlier in the weekend, Saturday evening to be specific, I was flipping through the channels and like any pseudo-sci-fi fan, I had to stop when I saw that The Empire Strikes Back was on one of the cable stations. I did not pay attention to what channel, I only saw Yoda instructing Luke. My six and four year old kids saw Yoda too. There was going to be no more channel flipping.

My boys are familiar with Star Wars and some of the characters from toys and Lego video games, but they have never seen the actual movies. I decided to let them watch, knowing the original films are relatively tame. They caught an hour of the movie before it was time for bed. I told them we could watch more at another time. Oh the questions they had as they brushed their teeth and put on PJs. "How did Yoda lift the X-wing?" "Why was Han frozen?" "What happened to p3p0"? "Is Bobo Fett a good guy or a bad guy?" "Why is Dark Fader a bad guy, Max always said he was a good guy and I always pretended to be Dark Fader because Max said I had to be him, do I have to be him because I don't want to be if he is bad?"

Sunday afternoon, while flipping through the channels I realized that the same cable station, Spike, was running a continuous loop of the original Star Wars Trilogy. Another station was playing Fantastic Four. We started to watch the Fantastic Four when after a few scenes I realized it may be a bit too violent for the kids. We switched over the Empire at the same moment in the film that we stopped watching the night before and I let the kids watch the rest of the movie. I sat on the floor folding laundry while watching it with them.

My kids were glued to the TV. I got caught up in the nostalgia and stoppped folding the clean clothes in front of me. I was getting excited to watch my kids reaction when they find out Darth is Luke's dad. They probably already knew because something like that is just part of human DNA strand now, or just embedded in the collective consciousness. But I wanted to see if they, you know, got it.

The Millennium Falcon is trying to outrun Tie Fighters, R2 is trying to fix the warp drive, Luke is engaged in a light saber battle with Darth Vader, the big moment is coming up when a commercial comes on.

I start matching socks when all I hear from the TV is "Tits." I look up at Lauren wide eyed she gives me a look. I hear it again..."Tits."

The commercial is for a roast of David Hasselhoff that will be airing that night. The commercial shows a clip of one the comedians saying something about Pamela Anderson. I was shocked. In the middle of a Sunday afternoon, in the middle of a movie like The Empire Strikes Back they air a commercial like that.

I am no prude. I understand that the station we are watching is a men's station, but, come on, seriously the commercial had to say tits? I was hoping they would not ask what that meant. It is way too soon for my kids to learn about that. I am hoping it is like another 6 or 7 years before Max or Wyatt start asking questions about tits. And if they have as much interest in them as they do the Star Wars movies, well then there will be questions. Right now I like the innocence and imagination of the out stretched arm, eyes closed, using the Force as opposed to an out stretched arm, eyes closed, doing a "tune in Tokyo."


Unknown said...

1. I have the movie Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, with the Tune In Tokyo joke, ON DVD.

2. Totally agree with you - like what is up with the METH commercials at the 7pm hour of American Idol??

Anonymous said...

I'm offended by the Hoff roast commercials even without my kids in the room. That's just plain trash TV, and it is why I love DVDs and my DVR. We usually tape the shows and then zoom through commercials.

I'd say it's time to get the Star Wars movies on DVD. I'm pretty sure my kids have them memorized.

Melissa said...

you crack me up...and your kids crack me up...and your wife cracks me up!

Kuckie said...

The force is PRETEND?!?! Awwww, man!!!!

GadgetGirl said...

I have 2 boys, now grown. When they were younger we would watch True Lies on tape and fast forward through Jamie Lee Curtis' dance for Arnold in the hotel room, Want to guess what scene the network chose to use in the advertisments not too long after that? I was so pissed!

Anonymous said...

I can see a time when Maxfield and Wyatt will be a fan of both.

Anonymous said...

I closed my eyes and extended my hands toward heaven.... these words came out of my mouth, "May the "fourth" be with you" Let's see if it works????!!!!!

eclectic said...

6 or 7 years?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good luck with that. ;)

Chris Cactus said...

I'm continually amazed by what crops up on basic cable. I'm no prude either but it bugs the hell out of me.

Papa K said...

The force isn't real!? That sucks.

But tits are so I guess it's not so bad.

Anonymous said...

I have always thought that your hair and Hasselhoff's hair were separated at birth.

Anonymous said...

Hasselhoff had a car that was state of the art and talked to him. You had a primer colored car with a bat painted on it.

Bogart said...

I just hope the boys learn about those things from girls, not from middle-aged men walking around with their shirts off!

SciFi Dad said...

I can't believe they ran that commercial in the afternoon... brutal.

(Also, my daughter calls him "mp3p0".)