Thursday, May 13, 2010

People Watching

When I go to the Kid's Castle Playground I can't help but people watch. My kids play, acting out various superhero shows they have seen on TV, as I watch and eavesdrop on the Real Housewives of Doylestown. I love to people watch. People fascinate me.

The lady in the light blue Nike sweatshirt talks shit about her husband to the dark haired woman in Spongebob printed scrubs. Nike's voice drops to a whisper and a moment later Spongebob cackles with laughter as she puts on her over sized sunglasses. Nike picks up her phone and starts texting.

One woman is dressed way too nice for the playground. Actually way too nice for the weather even. Her kids keep calling to her but she puts a finger up in a silent sign that says "give me a minute". She has her Blue tooth in her ear and she is closing deals as her kids want her attention. Her jewelled sunglasses are more expensive than my entire wardrobe.

I watch a dad try to pick up a large chested attractive dark haired woman. He uses the "single father" phrase way too easily. This is probably his one day in the middle of the week. His sunglasses keep sliding down his nose revealing a uni-brow. He tosses his cell phone back and forth between his hands as if he is nervous.

I get distracted by the woman in the powder blue shorts, running on the path. The sun glistens off her nose, her sweat soaked hair sticks to her forehead, a white wire dropping from each ear. Her sunglasses reflect the trees behind me. She catches me staring and smiles. I smile back.

Two teenagers kiss on the bench in the corner. Their legs and arms intertwined in a weird way trying to touch every part of the other person's body with out it being an inappropriate public display of affection for the playground. The girl's sunglasses sit on top of her head. She is keeping her eye on two smaller children playing in the sand. A tinny beat of music emanates from the iPod ear buds resting on the boys shoulders.

The boy in the Iron Man t-shirt skinned his knee. The little girl in the tie dye tank top want her dad to watch her. Kids yell "tag" and "you're it". Children run in an out of the three story structure buzzing with giggles and cries. The tinny buzz from the iPod gets louder. Cell phones ring and buzz in vibration. Buzz, buzz, buzz.

All the adults, in their over sized, round, Paris Hilton-esque, sunglasses, go from Real Housewives to looking like insects, bees really, hovering outside of their hive. All the electronic gadgets are their antenna sending and receiving signals.

I am no longer watching people.


Charity Donovan said...

Hilarious! Truly hilarious! And I must say that is one incredible playground!!! I'd be the fool running around in there with my kids!

Unknown said...

Wow I've never heard of or seen that playground before. There's one kind of similar in Limerick though.

Great story telling :)

Beta Dad said...

Nice piece!

I wouldn't be watching people because I would be climbing all over that awesome playground.

I always start out people watching, but eventually I become one of the people involved in the gossip klatsch.

for a different kind of girl said...

It's been my experience that, next to high school, the park/playground scene is one of the world's greatest sociological experiments. I feel like I have to visit the hair salon and dress up in things finer than I'll ever own to go with my kids to some of the ones around here.

SciFi Dad said...

If you're not watching people, are you just the creeper at the park then?

In all seriousness, though, this was some fine writing, sir.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one thinking,"if he's watching everyone else, who is watching his children?" If you mentioned that Lauren was with you, I missed that. If she wasn't there, don't be mocking the business woman on the phone. At least, she probably had her eye on her children. This story leads me to believe that the playground is the place to "hook up". Did you see any widowers with their grandchildren at this place?

Tori Spelling said...

Nike was probably texting, "There's a guy with a salt-and-pepper beard and large welts all over his body from some allergic reaction staring at me and freaking me out. I hope he has an epi-pen."

Anonymous said...

This story sounded like this..

Blah, Blah Blah.
powdered short lady.
Blah Blah Blah

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

The playground reminds me of Castle Park (our nickname, not the official name) -- and some of the people are the same.

About the time they turn into bees is my signal to get up and go play.

Ben said...

Love this post!! Are Real Housewives anywhere near as attractive as Desperate Housewives in your area?

Martie said...

After reading 10 or so of your posts: I hope you have a book deal. If not? Go get one.

James (SeattleDad) said...

Great, great stuff there William.

And holy crap that is the disneyland of playgrounds. I would just set up a room in there for Lukas if I lived close by.

eclectic said...

Great post, Bill!

Shannon said...

My kids now want to move to PA. They will never be happy with any of the rinky-dink parks here in MN. Thanks, Bill, thanks a lot. ;o)

Susie said...

Nice, Bill. People fascinate me, too; that's why I love my job. And reading blogs. A few of them, at least :)

(And your Mom kills me.)