Monday, July 27, 2009


We attended two parties this weekend; a housewarming party on Saturday evening and a 5-year-old birthday party on Sunday afternoon. At both parties Lauren and I did not know a majority of the people.

I am happy to report that Lauren only had to apologize for me twice.

We were at the housewarming party for only about 30 minutes when Lauren entered the room in which I sat chatting with an older couple. We were all just finishing a laugh as Lauren entered. She quickly assessed the laughter in the room as a somewhat nervous laughter from the older couple and I of course had some stupid look on my face.

"Oh and this is my wife." I said as I tired to waive Lauren over to introduce her to the older couple.

Lauren nodded a hello and said, "I just want to apologize for anything that my husband may have said or will possibly say tonight."

The next day we attended the birthday party which was held at a local farm/petting zoo. There were like 20 kids and their parents at the party. With so many animals to feed, pet, ride and antagonize I did not get too much of a chance to meet the other parents. Lauren did pre-apologize to one couple that we had a chance to chat with.

All of the kids gathered around a very large table in the barn for cake. The hosts passed out party hats and Blow-outs . There was a bit of commotion as parents helped their kids with the hats and party favors. I was at one end of the barn and Lauren was at the other end. A little boy at my end of the barn yelled, "Wait, Mommy. Daddy needs a blow."

And just as there was a slight pause in the noise and commotion, I said, (which I directed to my friend C who standing next to me and I thought I said it kind of under my breath, but it came out actually louder, barns have a weird way of carrying sounds) "What daddy doesn't need one?"
The awkward laughter traveled up to the other side of the barn. I caught Lauren's eyes and she smiled one of those "Lord help me" smiles.


Effie said...

Oh, Bill.



Good Morning!

eclectic said...

I see it's time for someone to have the "difference between needs and wants" talk again...


Anonymous said...

You need a TIME-OUT!!!! Get rid of that header,"My parent's influence on me as a parent". You never had example to talk like that!!!! Your comment had nothing to do with parenting! If your blog is going over the edge, then change the header. Now I sound like Campbells. Know when to zipper the lips, William. You're getting a little a 5 year olds party????? Lauren, an apology ahead of time, gives him free reign. For me, I found nothing funny here. no need to sign my name, you all know who I am.

Tori Spelling aka Susan said...

Don't worry, Momo9! As the thrower of the farm party, I can attest that Bill's comment was actually really hilarious and taken in good fun. My mom even laughed, and she's like the prissiest person on earth.

I should also add, though, that when I introduced a friend of mine to him, saying, "You'll never guess what Sarah does," (which I said because she is a guidance counselor in his kids' school district, which I thought was a potentially funny future coincidence...), Bill went ahead and - oh yes he did - guessed that she was a hooker.


Yes he did.

Just as her husband was walking by.

Luckily, I choose my friends wisely, and they are all able to appreciate the, how shall we put it, "uniqueness," that is my dear, dear friend Bill.

Bogart said...

Did you ever know that you're my hero?

You're everything I wish I could be.

I can fly higher than an eagle.

You are the wind beneath my wings!

for a different kind of girl said...

That birthday party moment trumps any sort of pinata action!

Charity Donovan said...

You & Steve would get along FABULOUSLY!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Guys often get in trouble for just being honest. Perfect timing, but probably not the perfect crowd for that one.

Anonymous said...

You're very proud of yourself, aren't you?

Melissa said...


you just have "the can't help its"

oh you make me laugh

i'm sorry mom09 for encouraging him.

BKP said...

Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh...
no... I'm not encouraging this to happen again.
Not at all.

(and I loved the classic comment by eclectic...)

Ali said...

I just love your stories.

BOSSY said...

No that kid dih'int!