Friday, July 15, 2005

SCORE:Lauren 9,974-Bill 4 now 5

We moved into our new house/new state about 4 months ago. Lauren has been itching to make some improvements on our house. She has already painted the dining room and the front door. She has already made curtains for the kitchen, the dining room and the bedroom. Now she is working on the living room.

She usually asks me about colors and ideas. We exchange ideas. I offer my opinion my ideas. Then we go with HER idea and her opinion. I realize she has a better eye for this type of stuff. I also realize that she watches way too much HGTV. I could swear Max knows the theme music from Design on Dime.

The living room is just white. It is a big room. So it is a lot white. Lauren decides that two of the walls will be painted a tan type color. I call the color Almond. It is not the color of the outside of the almond but more like the inside. The other two walls will be painted a dark earthy green from the chair rail to the ceiling and the bottom half will be covered with fabric. Some type of starching process that will make the fabric stick to the wall like wallpaper, which I am sure she saw on Designer Finals, or Devine Design or Decorating Cents (do you see a pattern here).

Lauren went and picked out a plaid fabric that she liked and got six yards for 12 bucks. She held it up to the green wall and asked what I thought about it. Now I know full well that what I say usually does not matter but I looked at it and due to some of the red in the plaid pattern I said, “I like it, but it looks like Christmas.” She looked disappointed.

“Really? You think? Hold it up there for me so I can look at it from over there.”

We changed places in the room. I held the fabric to the wall.

“You know Bill, I think you are right. I will have to get a different fabric.”

Did you hear that everyone. I was right when it came to decorating and design. Woo Hoo. On the rare occasions that I am right, I usually perform a little happy dance and sing an incoherent happy song. But this time I did not. I was stunned because she agreed with me on the design. I felt like Christopher Lowell.

Lauren went out the next day and spent more money of fabric so maybe I was not a winner after all.


Lauren said...

Ok, now I'm getting worried.... not only did Bill have sound decorating advice, but he also included a link to Christopher Lowell's website?!? How do you know who that is? (I don't watch him, by the way).

Effie said...

Lauren, he's finally realized that you are right and he's trying to follow your lead, that's all....

I knew a guy (dated a guy) once (7 to 10 years ago) whose name was Christopher Lowell Anderson....he now lives in Florida with his new wife I think...related or just a coincidence, I don't know....

Anonymous said...

Bill, You should be commended for that record. Four or five wins in three years of marriage. I am married 8 years and only have 2 wins. You are to marital decisions, what Tiger Woods is to golf. You are on pace to break the all-time record. Keep up the good work.

ieatcrayonz said...

Bill I Am,

Thank goodness "almond" was the color of the inside of the almond and not the outside of my Aunt Bernice's 1962 model stove...and refrigerator.

That Lauren is one heck of a shopper - six yards for 12 bucks? Wow.

My mom is an HGTV fanatic as well and I've heard of the starched fabric wallpaper technique. I think my mom keeps mentioning it to me because she wants to guinea pig my house first.

But now I think that I love the internet even more because it's one big petri dish of guinea pig experiments. Yea! Be sure to let us know how that experiment turns out.

Susie said...

I used to watch a lot of HGTV. One weekend I decided we were going to paint the living room and front room (open floor plan) and use a ragging technique. It came out great but Dan and I had carpal tunnel from all the damn ragging. The only thing I've done since is Liam's bedroom which has "sky and clouds" from the chair rail up and covering the ceiling. I love it! He is always looking at the clouds

Lois Lane said...

Right one time doesn't mean you are going to get your own HGTV show.
Christopher Lowell cracks my shit up! But really, if you were like him, do you think Lauren would really be interested in you? I'm just sayin'.
Happy weekend to you and yours!
Lois Lane

Robin said...

Haha! Sounds like you have been snooping in on conversations at my house!

Got here through Lois Lane. The name of your blog make me LOL!

My mom's answer to the "what's for dinner?" question was always "sh*t on a stick".

Robin said...

duh - I meant "made me LOL". I need to proofread BEFORE hitting publish!

Random and Odd said...


Susie said...

Thank you for throwing Christopher Lowell's name in there. Cause I was thinking, "Yea! I saw that fabric starching thing . . . now where the heck did I see that . . . " and it was him! He was it! Yea . . . although Lauren didn't learn it from him, I see. But I did.

We need photos. You don't just describe redecorating, for heaven's sake, we need before and afters! And Lauren, I know you'll tell us the truth about how difficult the starchy thing is, does it really work, any tips, etc.