Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sucker

Yesterday I received a weekly ad flyer from Albertson’s grocery store. I was flipping through it to see what types of sales they were having. I grabbed a pen and a pad of paper to write down some of the items. We usually shop at Publix but on the rare occasion Albertson’s has a good deal I will go there.

“What are you doing?” Lauren asked.

“I am making a list for Albertson’s.”

“Why? Is there anything good?”

“Not really, but look at this.” I held up the paper. “They have these items for sale at a dollar a piece. But if you buy 20 you get an instant five-dollar rebate so it will only cost 15 bucks. And it is not 20 of the same item, you can mix and match.”

“What type of items are we talking about?”

“David’s Sunflower seeds, you know I like them. And Crunch and Munch, Ketchup, Chef Boyardee Ravioli, Manwich stuff. Oh and look, Hunt's diced tomatoes andTomato paste.” I threw the last two in to make a case that I was actually planning on food shopping and not snack shopping.

“We can get tomato paste at Publix cheaper.” She said trying to take the wind out of my sails.

“But look Lauren, they have Microwave popcorn.”

“Bill, we do not need any of that stuff.”

“But Lauren they have Giant Slim Jims for less than a dollar.” Catching myself I added, “Not that I would buy 20.”

“But it is all stuff we would not normally use. It is to get you to buy the name brands when the store brand is just as good and cheaper.”

“I know,” I hung my head and said under my breath, “but they have Giant Slim Jims for sale.”

Lauren rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee. “You are such a sucker. YOU are the exact person they try to reach with those ads.”

27 comments:

lawnwhisperer said...

Bullshit that the store brand taste the same. Did you ever taste Slim Jim knockoff. They are not even close.

Jewl said...

They make store brand things? Like every grocery store makes it's own items? Don't act like I am a dumb ass, I shop in a military grocery store...

Oh and this is to your brother Anonymous... Firstly, get your own Blog... Secondly, No, the creature does not wear a cowboy hat. He just lives in the woods in my backyard and likes to leave old rusty big tools by my shed to wonder what he plans on doing with them in the middle of night... Maybe I should leave him a cowboy hat, I might like him better then!

Sharkey said...

You know, my husband J.P. is one of the smartest guys I know, and yet he gets sucked into this marketing thing too. Is it a guy thing?

Also? Generic Slim Jims? Like the real thing isn't nasty enough.

MetroDad said...

Nothing can come close to replicating the salty goodness that is the Giant Slim Jim.

SoozieQ said...

What in the hell IS a Slim Jim?!? I thought it was those things that are used to pop open your car door when you accidentally lock your keys inside. You EAT those? Are the generic ones easier to digest? Because I would think those would be a killer on one's intestinal tract.

eclectic said...

It's got to be a guy thing, because Mr. Eclectic is afflicted with the same condition. Cracks me UP! And Sooze, it's a processed tube of sausage-like nastiness, made to appeal to the beef jerky crowd. And no, I don't think it's digestible. But Mr. Eclectic likes those, too.

TBG said...

SoozieQ did not just ask what a slim jim is? Oh my they are nasty beef sticks, blech!

I dont even look at the ad's anymore!

Teri said...

I keep picturing this little boy with his head hanging down, shuffling his feet saying "but they have Giant Slim Jims for sale".

cracks me up.

Peter said...

You can catch ten rats or thirty mice using a giant slim jim as bait. You ever hear the saying "Snap Into a Slim Jim"?
In the bug/rodent business it is literal

Sharpie said...

Lawnwhisperer kills me! And he's right - somethings just should not be generic.

I keep hearing Macho Man Randy Savage - yelling in that Slim Jim commercial....

Nilbo said...

With all due respect to the lovely Lauren, my standard response to unsolicited input on the grocery shopping is "Is this your way of subtley volunteering to go buy the damn groceries? Because the job is always open. No? Then Slim Jims it is."

Ah, but it looks like you do the team thing for groceries. You're screwed. Enjoy your Generic Almost-Just-About-Like-The-Real-stuff Ketchup. Retch. "Yeah, honey, it tastes JUST LIKE the name brand. I don't know why the dog won't eat it."

ejnj2002 said...

Sounds like a conversation at my house! My DH is the Junk Food King (but he DOESN'T buy generic & gets MAD if I do!)

Ours usually goes something like this:
DH: How come almost 2/3rds of the grocery budget gets spent in the produce section? I don't have any money left for my cookies & frozen pizza.

To which I'm left to explain the health benefits of FIBER. :)

Charlie Blockhead said...

Man I wish we had Publix. They have the best sandwiches. All we have is Southern Family Markets and Wally World.

Anonymous said...

Come on.. You don't think Doritos taste exactly like the store brand cardboard triangles with fromunda cheese on them?

Heather said...

We have list of items that must be brand name or do not purchase them. Anon, it is Dorito's or nothing in our house. They are on the list with several other items. I have to say that not all store brand items are bad. You just have to try them and banish them if they are horrible.

Slim Jims...I didn't know there was a generic and if there is why would you want to buy it?

cassie-b said...

You're not alone - they sucker me in to those dollar sales too.

Cat said...

I love this! You make me laugh! Out loud! With your suckerness! And then there's Lauren with her "YOU are the exact person they try to reach with those ads"...

Wait. They still make Manwich?

A sandwich is a sandwich, y'all... but a Manwich? Is a MEAL! For reals!

Mama C said...

I wandered over here from RandO and this post had me cracking up. So very true.

Who really needs 20 Slim Jims?

kimmyk said...

I love Slim Jims.

I could seriously eat 20 myself.

No_Newz said...

Again, Lauren is right. This does not shock me in the least.
By the way, tell that WeedEater brother of yours that if he eats Slim Jims so often that he can tell when he is eating a knock off (like the old Pepsi challenge) he is eating too many meat sticks. I'm just sayin'. :P
Lois Lane

Brenda said...

Well it isn't like 20 slim jims would go bad.... ever.

So if you eat one a week normally you could but a 20 week supply (which of course would be gone in two days... if you are anything like my husband)

Some generic is good, some is bad. Some brands are good, some are bad. Some well... I don't want to you to get in trouble with my brand bashing, but let's just say "There are no other kinds" because their worcestershire, tomato soup, etc etc are sooo watery that any other brand would be embarassed to sell them.

Random and Odd said...

Shaun falls for them everytime. He will only shop at Albertsons and whines like a baby if I go anywhere else.

N said...

you are soooo my husband. funny.

judypatooote said...

I remember getting excited over an add, until my hubby burst my bubble saying it's only a good deal if you really need it....dam, but I think I would need those slim jims.....love them.....

sari said...

My husband and son LOVE Slim Jim's. If I buy one of those tubs of Slim Jim's, it gone in about two days. And can I tell you, there's nothing worse than an eight year old boy getting right up in your face to give you a hug while he's smacking on a Slim Jim. Because on one hand, you're happy you're getting the hug. But on the other hand, Slim Jim breath could be bottled and sold as a toxic weapon.

Also, although I do agree that some store brands are equal to name brands, there are just some things you can't skimp on. Milk, sure buy the store brand. Toilet paper, no. Frozen waffles, yes. Frozen pizza, no. Frozen juice, yes. Ice cream, no.

I seem to have a good grip on the frozen food section, don't I?

Ern said...

Don't feel too bad. My husband is the same way. I know you just can't help it.

The Odd Son said...

You know, now that I think about it, you really are a sucker.;)