Thursday, August 31, 2006

Often Misunderstood

One of our neighbors stopped by the other day for a brief visit. She did not stop by to visit Lauren or myself but to see Wyatt and talk baby talk. It is weird how babies have that effect on women.

While she was chatting she mentioned there was a Garden/Museum place that, on occasion shows movies outside and that Lauren and I should check it out. People can bring picnic baskets tour the gardens and watch a movie. She said it was a great place for a date. It would be romantic and she said it was only five bucks a person.

I said, “That sounds nice. Can we make-out? Because if I am spending five bucks and it is a movie I want to make-out.”

At first she didn’t quite get what I was saying and she looked at me like I was strange. Then she kind of caught the joke and changed the subject.

After she left, I started to think maybe she thought I was asking her, our neighbor, if her and I could make-out.

21 comments:

Teri said...

has all your mom's advice been in vain? have you not learned that people you don't know, just don't get your humor?

I think you're a lost cause.

go find a babysitter and take Lauren on a date. you can make out to your hearts content!

lawnwhisperer said...

What are you crazy? Making out leads to getting naked. Getting naked leads to being pregnant. Being pregnant leads to kids. Kids leads to neighbors coming over suggesting you two go on cheap dates, and having to find babysitters. It's a horrible cycle, that you need to stop. The most contact you should have after two kids is a simple kiss goodbye in the morning. If you're lucky you get another kiss at bedtime. That is twice in one day, which is more than you could ever hope for.

Teri said...

William, your brother LW sounds like a loser, please dump him. : )

ieatcrayonz said...

I wish my neighbors would hit on me like that.

Kami said...

OMG. That is hysterical!

cat said...

She thought you were trying to get on her and she didn't jump all over it?!

Strange.

Ern said...

How is it that you are around so many people on a regular basis who can't get a joke?

(Oh, and lawnwhisperer? You can still get naked and not have kids if you use some kind of protection.)

Rude Cactus said...

At least she didn't jump into your arms and force herself on you. Because that? Awkard!

Anonymous said...

Tell me the truth... Was she a good kisser?

Anonymous said...

Was it just kissing or was it under the shirt over the bra stuff?

stepblog said...

Boy, you ain't right. And neither are your brothers.

Allyson said...

You know the next step is neighborhood rumors about your "open" marriage.

MetroDad said...

Wait a sec, Bill! I thought Lauren had banned you from talking to people in public!

SoozieQ said...

Seriously, what's wrong with your neighbor?!?

momo9 said...

William, first of all, never let a neighbor know what you're thinking. Think it, just don't say it. Now we all know what's on your mind! Remember, you're spending time with us. Do you want me to be listening for those special sounds? You are too much! On the other hand, L.W. really needs some therapy. How can we get him taken care of? His outlook should be a bit brighter. I think he needs a picnic in the park with a movie.

Lowa said...

LW, I am here in your defense. I think you are onto something there.

Puts me in mind of when we called my family to announce we were pregnant with our fourth and one of my brothers seemed angry and said, "You know, there ARE things you can do to stop that, right??" Then he went on to list the various forms of birth control. I almost hung up on him.

You all have the same type of humour as my family and I would have laughed like a lunatic if I had been the neighbour lady!!!

Looking forward to an update on that romantic date. I need to look into a place like that here.

eclectic said...

She couldn't take it as a joke. She's seen Lauren in person so she knows you were damn serious about making out! Which, of course, made her uncomfortable, since obviously, making out is only for perverts. And really, who wants a pervert for a neighbor?!

LizzieDaisy said...

Can we make out... that was brilliant. No one ever propositions me like that anymore.

Bet she told everyone. Hee.

JP said...

Ha!! Typical sitcom misunderstanding type of thingy! Too funny!! After that happens, you just look up or around and say something like, "How about this summer weather, huh? Yeah...umm...."

BlueGoddess said...

I love to read this stuff. It is totally hillarious. Either your life is really this funny or you really know how to write and make it look that way.

Nilbo said...

I have the same problem. One time I was hosting a radio show and the time came to do the weather. I said to my attractive female c-host "So, it was a gorgeous spring day today!"

She looked me directly in my eye and said "Ball me."

My jaw dropped. I sat there stunned. I mean, for one thing, you don't ask that of another person on the radio. And for another thing, if you're a woman, you don't ask that of ME. Well, I live in hope, but I mean, so far in my life, they haven't. But here was this woman looking at me and smiling and quietly saying "Ball me." I sat there, frozen, unable to contribute as she finished the weather report herself.

When we went to music, and the mics were off, she said "WHAT???"

I said "WHAT DID YOU SAY??? When I said "Lovely spring day."

She said "I agreed. I said it was balmy."

"Oh."

I dissolved into laughter. She totally did not get the joke.