Rule Clarification

Just say you had a rule in your house (relationship) that stated If one person cooks dinner, the other person does the dishes, and that rule works well, but then one day a person cooks such a big meal that it is used for the next nights meal, and even though the other person heated it up shouldn't they be responsible for doing the dishes since the other person cooked dinner originally?

Name Brand

I have posted before that I think that store brand products are just as good as the name brand. There are a few exceptions. Doritos and Oreo Double Stuff are examples of the exceptions.

I have added a new exception to my rule. Lipton Onion Soup mix. I don't use it to make soup. I don't know anyone who uses it to make soup. Most people use it to make dip (or Scoop).

Recently I bought the store brand onion soup mix to make my dip. For some reason the little bits of onion that they use in the store brand do not soften in the sour cream like the Lipton brand. The little tiny crescent shaped pieces of onion stay crunchy.

While I was eating my chips and dip I could not help but feel I was eating a bowl full of sour cream and toenail clippings.

Now can you imagine if I was eating Frito's, which to me always smell like dirty socks, with my dip?

Cemetery

While driving to a party we passed the cemetery where my dad is buried. I mentioned to Lauren that it has been a while since I went to visit his grave.

I went a few times not long after he died. The rectangular plot was still just dirt and pebbles and stark and raw. The grave was fresh, like my sadness, and it reminded me of how I felt because of his passing. But it was still nice to have a place to go and "visit" him. In the spring my brother, the LawnWhisperer, went to cemetery with his rakes and fertilizer and grass seed and even though there is a grounds crew to take care of the plots, he made sure that my dad would have the best looking "lawn" out of everyone there.

I said to Lauren, "I really should go and visit him. It's been a while since I "talked" to him."

Lauren and I discussed the concept of having a place to go to visit our departed loved ones. She told me that I really didn't need to go to the cememtary to talk to him. I could talk anywhere. I agreed with her but I like having a place to go to feel a connection.

Lauren said the she feels more comfortable going to one of her dad's favorite places in order to feel connected. That if she wants to talk to her dad, she could go to the lake where her dad liked to fish. She finds that more comforting. It would be a more happy place. She suggested that maybe I could do that, instead of feeling the need to go to the cemetery.

My dad had many favorite places. I thought about it for a minute and I told Lauren, "I think you are right. I am going to go to Philly Park (horse racing) or maybe the casinos the next time I want to talk to dad."

Visiting dad may become expensive.

Cicada Party

These things are all over our backyard. The only thing we can do is make them part of the fun.

Honey

If you were sent to Sam's Club to pick up 5 lbs of honey, what aisle at Sam's do you think the honey would located?

The aisle marked cereal?

The aisle marked peanut butter and jelly?

The aisle marked spices and sugar?

The aisle marked condiments?

Or the aisle marked tea?


If you were sent to Sam's Club, to get honey, and you were already there for, like forever, and you ask the 90 year old lady wearing a hairnet and plastic gloves, who works at Sam's handing out samples of mint jelly, for assistance in locating the honey and the conversation goes like this:

Me: Excuse me. I am looking for honey.

Her: You are looking for a honey?

Me: No. Just. Honey.

Her: Well if it was A honey. You found one right here.

Do you pretend to flirt with her just so she will direct you to the correct aisle that much quicker?

There is a word for it but I am not sure what it is

Maxfield and I had an argument tonight. He refused to eat his dinner and I refused to give him anything else for the rest of the night. He begged me for milk. He begged me for a snack. I kept telling him his dinner was on the table and that if he was hungry he could eat that.

We argued some more. Bad moods surfaced. Max wanted to watch his show and I wanted to watch the Phillies.

Right before bed time he picked up his toy cell phone and dialed a number.

"Hello is Ethan there?" He asked loud enough for me to hear. "Hi Ethan. This is Maxfield. What are you doing?"

He paused as if he was listening to an answer from his friend Ethan.

"Oh really?" Max said into the phone even louder making sure I hear him. "You are drinking milk and watching T.V. Okay. I was just checking."

Ordinary

I have written here before about my history with comic books and superheroes. Superman is considered to be the first superhero.


In highschool I dressed in Superman shirts.

My brothers, at my wedding, dressed as Superman and superheroes.

Here is a cool video sent to me by my buddy Brad about the house where Superman was created. Save the Superman House.

But what I think is even cooler is this site. Ordinary People Change the World Go and surf that site and be Ordinary.

Today's post brought to you by the letter Z

I received an email a couple of weeks ago informing me that Sesame Street launched a new website.

Sesamestreet.org


The email pointed out all the new features that the site has; Games, Videos, Character Bios (did you know Oscar the grouch is a Gemini?)Etc.


My favorite section is the video archive of all celebrity guests. Seeing a young Billy Joel, before his third chin, or a pre-dead Johnny Cash singing to Oscar is great. And this ONE is for Susie over at What Was I Thinking.

And this ONE is for Lauren at Gigglepotamus. I am just sorry that it does not include the new man her life, Timm Gunn, even though I think he resembles a muppet.

Book of Lies the Review

Oh the pressure.

The last time I had to write something even remotely close to a book review was when I was in 11th grade, in Mrs. Bray's English Class, and I had to do a 500 word essay on Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises. It started something like this: "The Sun Also Rises, a book by Ernest Hemingway, is very,very,very, very, very, interesting. I really, really, really,really, liked his use symbolism."

Brad Meltzer, through his publisher and marketing people, made sure I received an advanced copy of his latest novel The Book of Lies. The book is not out in stores until Spetember 2nd. I received my copy on August 9th. I had visions that if I read the book that weekend and sent in my review that,maybe, on the back cover of the store copy dust jacket it would say something like: William from Poop and Boogies. com says "An action packed thriller. A true page turner." But a couple of things prevented a quick read. One, I am a very slow reader. And two, I just started reading a book about the Battle of Gettysburg which, is no big deal because I often read more that one book at a time. Oh, and three, I also have two kids to raise, a wife to spend time with, work to do, Project Runway to watch and Guilder to Frame for it. I'm swamped.

I also wanted the excitement of getting a preview copy to wear off so I could give it a fair review. It took me a few days to even attempt to start it. Then something else happened. General Longstreet did not agree with General Lee's plan for Pickett's charge. I had to finish those chapters in "The Killer Angels" first.

The premise of The Book of Lies is that the weapon that Cain used to murder Abel is never mentioned in the Bible and is lost to history. In 1932 Jerry Siegel's father is killed, a murder that is never solved, as a result Jerry goes on to create Superman, one of the worlds most recognized icons. What could these two crimes have in common?

I know it sounds a little strange and somewhat nerdy. I finally found some pieces of time to actually read the book. I kept a little notebook on me so I could make some notes for my review. Guess what? I did not write down one note. I was immediatley caught up in pacing of the book. The Book of Lies has short chapters, so from a pratical level, for someone who is busy like me, it is very easy to read on breaks, during lunch, or in between innings of the Phillies' games

The main character is Cal Harper, a former federal agent, who now works for a homeless shelter, patrolling the streets helping the needy. One night he finds his father, who he has not seen in 18 years, one the side of the road with a bullet wound in his side. Cal's father quickly garners Cal's help in the chase for world's first murder weapon. Not strange or nerdy at all. It reads like The DaVinci Code but instead of the Holy Grail, the characters seek Cain's murder weapon. And instead of clues being left in DaVinci's paintings, the characters are seeking leads from the works of another creative genius, Jerry Siegel. The Book of Lies is very good.

There is a reason why Brad Meltzer is one of my favorite authors and with this book he proved it again. Meltzer does not tell the story. He lets his characters tell the story. Cal, and Lloyd and Serena and Ellis tell this story.

Go to Brad's website and read more about The Book of Lies, you can even read the first chapter. Then go and get the book and read it and then comeback and tell me what you thought.

Oh and Brad, if you happen to read this review, leave a comment just so I can prove my friend Nilbo wrong.

The Book of Lies

Last year I wrote about my slight fascination with the New York Times Best selling author Brad Meltzer. If you go back and read that post, in the comments, you will see that Nilbo somewhat mocks me and doubts that I kinda had an email exchange with a best selling author. I emailed Brad and asked him to read the post in the hopes that he would comment on Poop and Boogies just so I could prove to Nilbo I did not make up my story. Brad never posted a comment.

A couple of weeks later my friend Aly, who reads my blog, told me that her husband's sister is married to Brad Meltzer's roomate from college. I was six degrees separated from one of my favorite authors. That was all the incentive I needed to stalk Brad Meltzer. I sent him another email directing him to my original post and explaining that he and I were practically best friends via his college roomate's wife's brother's wife's highschool friend. He never commented but he did reply saying that he read the post. I was grateful for email but it was not enough to prove to Nilbo I was buddies with a 6 time N.Y Times bestseller.

Some time has passed since then. I am not sure of the exact details (I know that I emailed Brad or commented on his blog a few times) but somewhere along the way I was asked by Brad Meltzer to review his latest book "The Book of Lies." That's right, stalking him has its privledges.

This is me in my best stalker look holding the advanced reading copy.
Here is a picture of the advanced reading copy. See the red circle? That says "Advanced reading copy. Not for resale." Look I even zoomed in on the red circle in the picture below.
And yes, I snickered when I zoomed in that it looks like the book is called Bra Melt.

Needless to say I was very excited to have the oppotunity to review his newest book.

Then I got nervous. What would I write about it? I never have done a review before. What does one say? What if I did not like it? What if Nilbo still doesn't believe me that I kinda know Brad Meltzer.

Oh the pressure.

To Be continued.....

Fries

I try to teach my kids the right things. I really do. Sometimes I feel, no matter what I do, that they just don't get it.

Lately Maxfield has been requesting that I put ketchup directly ON his fries. He used to want his ketchup in a nice pile next to his fries so he could dip his fries and get the proper ketchup-to-fry ratio. Just like his father.

The past few weeks he wants me to squeeze the ketchup, all willy nilly like, back and forth, directly on his french fries. Some fries have lots of ketchup and some barely have any. I don't know where he learned this behavior. Not from his mother. She likes the little pile of ketchup next to her fries also. Maybe he is just being defiant.

When you eat french fries with ketchup, do you pour the ketchup NEXT to the fries or directly ON to the fries?

Money Sharing

If a man is married, and let's say he wins some money playing the lottery or something, is he obligated, morally, ethically, legally to share or split the winnings with his wife?

I am sure most of you that read this site just thought to yourself, "Well, hell yeah he should split it." except for a select few who may be thinking the "I broke even." rule could take effect here.

And if you answered the above question with a yes, does the wife have the same obligation to the husband if she won some money at Bunco night?

Scar

I had this "thing" removed from my neck.

It was a cyst but the definition for cyst is: An abnormal membranous sac containing a gaseous, liquid, or semisolid substance. I find that definition pretty gross so I refer to it as a "thing".

The dermatologist did not lance the "thing" she had to cut it out of my neck. This left an inch and half gash across the center of the front of my neck, right in front of my adams apple. She had to give me four stitches to keep the wound closed. She said the scar would "fall nicely into the crease of my neck" and should not be visible. I say it is placed nicely at the bottom of my slowly forming second chin.

I had to keep the sutures for a week. During that time, I attended a wedding and knew that people may ask questions about the small zipper staring at them from my throat. I told Lauren I was going to tell each person that asked a different story about what happened.

This is what Icame up with.

"I was held at knife point during a robbery and this is where the knife was held."
"I was choking and Lauren performed and emergency tracheotomy."
"I was running with scissors."
"When I was a kid, my brother shot me in the neck with a BB gun and I finally had the BB removed."

Lauren came up with "You woke up with a bug bite on your neck and it grew and when the doctor took it out it was filled with spider eggs."

At the wedding I only got to use two of my stories. The stitches were not as visible in the dim lit reception hall as I thought they would be.

I had the stitches removed and now I have a small scar which is more visible than the doctor claimed it would be. I need more stories to tell in the event that some one asks.

I have an inch and half scar across the front of my neck, tell me a good story that I can use in case someone asks.

Somewhere over the...

Telling You Y

Go here and read the quick post.

We were driving home from the ultra-sound and Lauren said, "Maybe I just can't produce a girl. Maybe there is something genetic that prevents me from having a girl."

I chuckled and said, "Or, maybe, there is something genetic in me that I can't produce a girl."

She smiled. Then she said, "Oh I can get around that."

Signs That Someone in my House is Pregnant

--2, 3, 4, times a night someone gets up in the middle of the night to pee.

--The gallon size jar of pickled artichoke hearts in the fridge.

--2, 3, 4, times a day someone says "I need to take a nap".

--I am gaining weight

--The fact that I, the anti-pet person, am now cleaning the cat's litter box. Because there is some rare disease, toxoplasmosis (which I am sure some pregnant woman invented), that can come from cat litter. ( I am sure there is a labratory filled with pregnant women looking for rare diseases associated with doing dishes, vacuuming, laundry and mowing the yard as well.)

--The various number of magazines scattered through the house that are dog-eared to pitcures of "cute" decor for a baby's room.

--The phrase and rule "Don't jump on Mommy" is now strictly enforced with the kids...and it now also applies to me as well.

Wyatt Sings

I have watched this a hundred times and it makes me smile every time.

Robots Vs. Zombies

My friends and I have have debated this topic in the past. It is a conundrum with logical arguments that cannot be answered until after the fact. It is kind of like discussing who should be picked second in a fantasy football draft. There is no real correct answer until after the season is over.

I am taking a break for a few days so in my absence I will Leave you with this question.

In the future, when the world ends in an apocolyptic war, who wins in a fight between zombies and robots?

Discuss amongst yourselves. I look forward to reading everyone's arguments.

Predicting a Headache

You know there is a headache, a backache, a pain in the ass, as well as a ton of aggravation in your future when you turn on the DVR to check that you recorded last night's season premiere of Mad Men and find that some else also recorded an episode of "Bathroom Renovations" from the DIY network.

Archaeology

A small leak in our laundry tub has begat me re-doing the floors in our laundry room and our powder room.

The plumber came out and removed the old tub/sink and I removed the old floor using a hammer and a chisel/scraper thing. I wanted to put the new floor down under the new sink/tub while the basin was gone. I also had to remove the ugly faux tile from the wall.

As with all begats projects, it was not that simple. I must have used 20 tools and 30 curse words for that little space under the sink.

You can see in the second picture here the new floor and new tub.
I then had to tackle the rest of the floor in the room. Lauren, who should have her own home improvement show, told me to use an iron and a wet towel to heat up the tiles. It worked like a charm. It made the whole process so much easier.

I felt like an Archaeologist, discovering layer upon layer of the past. As you can see in the bottom half of the picture (below) the pale octagon patterned tile that is circa 1980s. The orange tile that is underneath it is definitely from the early 1970s or as some scientists call it the Bradybunchzoic period.

And in this last picture (the yellow tile) you can see the original asbestos tiles from when the house was built in the 1960s. If you look closely at the wall you can see the yellow flower wall paper that I have not been able put into a time period but I am sending out for carbon dating.