Make Out

There is no such thing as a bad cheese steak. Sure some are waaay better than others but there is no such thing as a bad one. A cheese steak*, to me, is just like making out; sometimes it is a little sloppy and wet; sometimes it is a little dry; sometimes you need to use more tongue; and sometimes it smells like onions but for the most part I am just happy to be getting some. Now that Lauren and I have 3 boys there is not a lot of time to be getting cheese steaks (see another way to compare it to making out). We try to set a good example of eating and cooking right and we leave the fatty take-out to a once in a while occasion.

This past Saturday night was that once in a while occasion.

In the city there is a debate about who has the best cheese steaks, Pat's, Geno's or Jim's. Out in the burbs most places make a decent cheese steak but none ever can compete with the those big three. Lauren found a coupon for Tonelli's and we decided to give it a try. I've gotta tell you it was one of the best cheese steak sandwiches I have had.

Saturday night into Sunday morning, around 2 AM, Lauren woke up and told me she was not feeling well, she felt nauseous. Twenty minutes later she was vomiting. My first thought was "Man I hope she does not have a stomach bug or flu." My second thought was, "I hope she will be okay." My third thought was "Looks like I have go the kids all day. My fourth thought, "Maybe it was something she ate. What did we have different that we normally don't have?" And my fifth and final thought, which I guess I should be ashamed to admit was, "OH NO! Cheese steak. We had Cheese steaks. I hope it was not the cheese steaks. Oh I hope she has a stomach bug. I hope she has a stomach bug. I hope she has a stomach bug."

I need to defend my wish that my wife had a stomach bug.

Did you ever drink too much gin or eat some kind of curry dish, only to get sick later and throw-up? You end up swearing off that brand of gin. Or you refuse to ever eat curry again. It has nothing to do with the food itself , but just the smell of curry brings back the memory of the dry heaves it caused is enough to make you stay away. It can be any kind of food or drink, once you associate it with vomiting you usually, for years, will not touch the stuff. So if Lauren associated the awesome Cheese steaks with her being sick, there was a really good chance that we would, not only never go that place again, but we would never get cheese steaks again. I couldn't have that. These cheese steaks were that awesome and were only minutes away from my house.

Turned out Lauren had a bug. She was in bed all day Sunday. When she was not in bed she was throwing up. It was a bad day.

I did my best to occupy the kids throughout the day getting ready for Valentine's Day parties on Monday. I also did my best to take care of my sick wife. All day I had a nagging thought in the back of my head that there was a chance that I may get the stomach bug too. I kept trying to eat bland things or maybe things that I knew I already did not like just in case I got nauseous. I did not want to have a an episode that would cause me to banish the delicious chopped steak and cheese in a long roll. I had cereal for breakfast, toast for lunch. I made a dinner of plain grilled chicken, asparagus and crackers.

Sunday night as I placed out Valentine's days cards and gifts for my kids and wife I decided to have a snack. We had a bag of Doritos and a bag of plain corn tortilla chips. I am so glad I chose the plain corn chips. At 2 AM I caught the stomach bug. I was thankful for puking tortilla chips. I love Doritos. I was in bed all day Monday. Thankfully Lauren was doing better (it was only a 24 hour bug). It was her turn to take care of me. I couldn't move at all on Valentine's Day. Nothing says "I love you" like the willingness to clean up a person's bag of vomit and bile.


As I was laying in bed in a sleep deprived dehydrated cramp induced delirium I couldn't help but be thankful that I too had a stomach bug. Because then I knew it was not the cheese steaks.

I look forward to another night of Tonelli's cheese staek make-out. I mean take-out.



* When you live in the Philadelphia Pa area you don't call a a cheese steak a "Philly Style Cheese steak. It is just a Cheese steak.

Dream Job

One of my dream jobs, and I have many, would be to have a gig like Guy Fieri on the show Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. If you are not familiar with the show, Guy Fieri, drives across the country stopping in various eateries sampling the food and signature delicacies from each stop. I don't think I would want to be on camera but I was thinking my dream job would be to be the point man. I would be the guy to go to the various locations, try the food, then report back to the producers what joints Guy should visit. Yeah, that would be a dream job and half.

When we were vacationing at the South Jersey shore, I had the opportunity to try a bunch of different places. Two of places that stick out, as far as recommendations go, were Maui's Dog House in Wildwood, NJ and The Beach Box in Ocean City, NJ.

I have been to Maui's Dog House twice now and I think I may make my it one of my life's goals to try every one of the dogs on their menu. This past visit I had the J-Bell and the Horsey in Chicago. Maui Dog has a decent selection of sides including their signature dish Salty Balls, which is brine cooked small potatoes served with drawn butter. Each dish is served in a plastic dog bowl and the whole dining experience is fun for the whole family.

The Beach Box is a walk-up take-out joint located at 33rd and Asbury in Ocean City, NJ. In the interest of full disclosure, The Beach Box is operated by my double cousin Monica and her friend Erin. I say double cousin because Monica's mom is my mom's sister and Monica's dad is my dad's brother. Pretty cool huh? This is the first year that Monica is running The Beach Box. They are open from 7 am to 3pm focusing on breakfast and lunches that can be boxed and taken to the beach, which is only a block down the road. The lunch menu is standard sandwich fair like BLTs, Tuna Salad, Cheese steaks and such. I had the Tuna Salad sandwich which was very good and served on one the best rolls I have ever had. Lauren and the kids enjoyed their lunches (Chicken Fingers and Fries) which we ate in the limited seating they have out front.

Since The Beach Box is new they have not yet developed any signature items although they have a few in the works. One of the breakfast items they have is a Bacon and Chive Cream Cheese spread which is incredible. The Beach Box is also known for their Chocolate Chip Cookies. These cookies are out of this world with the perfect blend of chocolate chips and cookie. The cookies are huge and have been called "man hole covers" with a diameter of 5 to 6 inches across.

What struck me most about The Beach Box is the fact that Monica, although working (cooking, serving, etc) took the time to talk to every person that came by. Although she is new to that area she seemed to know everybody there and everybody seemed to know her. Monica is one of the nicest people and with a person like her running a place like The Beach Box I think the food is almost secondary and that the signature item is the friendly staff.

I was talking to Monica about creating a signature breakfast sandwich and I recommended that she make a scrapple sandwich of some sort. Scrapple as described in Wikipedia is a mush of pork scraps and trimmings and is regional food of the Mid Atlantic States. Lauren immediately turned her nose up at my idea because Scrapple is made from "everything but the oink" of a pig. Which to me would be the perfect meat to use for what could become the Poop and Boogies Sandwich.

If you have a Facebook page go and become a fan of The Beach Box.

If you are in Ocean City NJ this summer stop by The Beach Box at 33rd and Asbury and tell them I sent you. And tell them you want a Poop and Boogies sandwich.

If anyone knows Guy Fieri tell him he needs to hire me as a point man.