Monday, May 16, 2011

High Tolerance

Last week I went in to have my upper wisdom teeth* removed.

I am not a fan of any type of surgery but after talking to some friends and my doctor I decided to get it done. After all I was not using them the way they were supposed to be used. They had the potential to cause more problems and complications which could be costly. I was also told that the procedure was not painful, would only take about 30 minutes and only required a couple of days for recovery.

Lauren dropped me off at the surgeon's office the morning of the operation. I asked her to pick me up in an hour. Even though I was only having a local anesthetic the people at the facility suggested I have someone drive me in case I ended up feeling woozy post operation.

I laid back on the chair as the nurse pushed pedals to make adjustments to the height and angle of the chair. The surgeon prepped his instruments. I watched as he inserted a huge needle into a glass bottle of the local anesthetic. He pulled back the plunger and filled the syringe with the clear liquid. The nurse left the room as the doctor started his work.

"You will feel a slight pinch and quick burn. Then you shouldn't feel anything after a few minutes." the doctor said.

I felt a pinch. I felt the burn. We waited.

I watched the doctor grab some shiny metal things and I closed my eyes as he went to work. He must of sensed that I was not completely numb when as he made his first cut I nearly jumped out of the chair.

"Can you feel that?" he asked.

"Yes. How could you tell?" I responded somewhat sarcastically.

The doctor gave me a little bit more of the anesthetic.

I felt a pinch. I felt a burn. We waited.

The doctor went back to work. I could feel him cutting me. I felt him prying and poking with his instruments. I broke out into a sweat.

"I can still feel everything you are doing." I said through gritted teeth.

"Do you feel pain? Or pressure?" he said. "Pressure is normal." He added.

"Pain! I can feel everything you are doing. Every cut, every move, every instrument, everything." My knuckles were white from where I was gripping the chair, my nails were leaving indentations in the vinyl covering.

"You must have a high tolerance the the anesthetic. Most people only require 4ccs. I have already given you 6. I will give you 2 more and we will wait. It should do the trick."

I felt a pinch. I felt a burn. We waited.

The doctor went back to work. I nearly leaped out of the chair.

"I can't believe you felt that?" The doctor said. He was clearly annoyed.

"I am not making it up." I was starting to panic.

"I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just don't understand." He tried to comfort me.

"Let's just get it done." I said. "I will deal with the pain just hurry it up."

He called the nurse into the room and they looked at the bottle of anesthetic, making sure it was within the expiration date. They spoke in hushed tones and I heard him say something about never having to use the full 10cc before but he will try it. The nurse opened and prepped a new syringe and needle. The doctor gave me the last 2cc in original needle.

I felt a pinch. A dull burn. We waited. I was finally numb.

The doctor grabbed his instruments and went back to work being very careful and meticulous. He made sure I was not feeling anything. What was supposed to take a half hour turned into an hour. Lauren texted me to make sure I was okay. She was back to pick me up. I texted back saying that I would be a few more minutes.

The doctor sighed in a way that signaled he was done. He placed his metal instrument on the tray next to him. "Okay. You didn't feel any of that, did you?"

"No." I said. "Am I all done?"

"No." he said. "I still have to do the left side."

My eyes went wide. I may have whimpered. A tear may have slowly rolled down my cheek.

"Don't worry." he said, "I will give you the full 10ccs to start with."

*For the sake of the male readers I substituted the words "Upper Wisdom Teeth" for Vas Deferens.


M@ said...

been there, felt that. They put me out tho, and I woke up halfway through yelling at the doctor to stop freakin pulling things. Damn that hurt, but at least I was out for most of it.

Melissa said...

i feel your pain...every single time i have dental work done, they have to stop several times and numb me up mouth does not hold the numbing...and i feel EVERYTHING...and i am NOT a good patient!

James said...

Dude. DUDE.

You should not be sharing this story.

SciFi Dad said...


Some of us have a healthy anxiety about this already.

Claire said...

You are a brave man. Glad you made it out, I am sure Lauren will appreciate your sacrifice.

Michelle said...

Normally I share all your bits of hilarity with my hubby. Since he has an appointment to have his "upper wisdom teeth" done soon, I will skip sharing this one. And, since he's an oral surgeon, this one ws extra amusing for me. Given that I've had 3 c-sections, he's willing to take one for the team now.

Anonymous said...

What about Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb?

Anonymous said...

Does Vas Deferens sing "Dance the Night Away" and "Jamies Crying"?

Marin D said...

Well my second c-section didn't go well. The spinal block didn't work out and I felt way too much of that surgery! Several minutes (felt like eternity though) into it they had to put me under general anesthesia. Let's just say, I was glad I had already signed the papers for the tubal and that they were able to do it.

for a different kind of girl said...

Imagine if I was a dude and then I told you the story of the time I had my upper wisdom teeth pulled and the doctor had to straddle the chair and came at me with the biggest tool I'd ever seen...what a twist YOUR twist would have had to that tale!

Anonymous said...

A little different than snipping nose hairs

Anonymous said...

Some people put their wisdom teeth in a jar next to their bed.

Anonymous said...

I am not sure Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent or Peter Parker ever had to go through that.

Melinda said...

( I think some of your commenters still think you had dental work done)
Well done! Did they recommend to wear speedos post? When my husband had his upper wisdom teeth out, they did. It was quite the turn on.
I been busy here at the house and not getting much time to read P&Bs. I been missing you something fierce!

April said...

Thank you Bill. Thank you very much. I have been trying to talk Ubes into this for 7 years. Almost had him. And you just ruined everything. Way. To. Go.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

The important thing is, did Lauren give you cold beers to hold next to where your "wisdom teeth" were extracted while you also cuddled with a bag of frozen peas and used sips of whiskey to swallow your pain meds?
And did you, like my dh, explain your "injury" to your kids by saying "Daddy got kicked accidentally"?