Thursday, February 10, 2011

Post From The Future

Poop and Boogies 3.0

What's for Breakfast --2/10/2056

I had to drop my rocket jet pack off at the dealer this morning. I have been having problems with the throttle. The other day on my way to work at the hologram theater I nearly lost power and dropped about 100 feet. At first, I thought it may be the bypass line, but the seventh Fetzer valve was sticking so I thought the dealer should take a look. Sure I could have taken the Green Transporter Line to work, but ever since I was nominated for a HAG award and a HolOscar I get recognized. Besides, the dealer is right down the street from the home where my dad is placed, so I decided to pay him a visit.

I stopped at the front desk and spoke with the RN. I asked if I could speak with someone who had a little more authority and knowledge about my dad. Robot Nurses do a great job and all but sometimes dealing with a real person is better. The RN tapped a few times on her I-Stamp and a few minutes later I was talking to Colette, dad's primary human caregiver.

"Wyatt, It is so nice to see you. William, I mean your dad, is doing great. You are just in time for breakfast. Would you like to stay and help me feed your dad?"

"Sure." I said. The whole reason for stopping in was to spend time with him.

"William, I mean your dad, is pretty hungry this morning. He refused to eat his dinner last night."

"Really? What were you having?" I asked.

"Spaghetti." She said. "He used to eat it all the time. Last night he refused. He said the sauce was too spicy. It is the same sauce we use every other time we make pasta which he never had a problem with. It is the same sauce we use for the Pizza we make, which he eats with no problem. I don't know, last night he was just being stubborn."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"I told him he would not get any snacks or anything else to eat until breakfast."

We walked down the hallway towards his room when a memory crept out of the corner of my mind. I could see myself sitting at our table in Hatboro. I was 4 years old. Maybe 5. I refused to eat my spaghetti. My mom was so frustrated. I remember her saying something like, "What, so now you don't like spaghetti? I am running out of things to feed you Wyatt. I will not let you be a kid who only eats chicken nuggets and fries." I remember dad getting angry. "Nothing else to eat tonight! Do you understand?" I got up from the table. "You will be having Spaghetti for breakfast tomorrow. Do you understand?" I nodded. I think I heard dad say something to mom about "going all Mommy Dearest with breakfast".

As we got closer to dad's room Colette asked me something but I was not paying attention. I was lost in the memory of the next morning of me screaming as my dad was taking the plastic wrap off my plate of spaghetti from the night before. I still can't stand the smell of microwaved cold spaghetti. I remember dad holding his ground and telling me I had to eat the pasta before I would get anything else like fruit or yogurt. I also recall that as soon as I started crying he had to go to work and left mom to do the dirty work.

"Wyatt? Wyatt?" Colette's voice pulled me back to the present.

"I'm sorry." I said as I shook off the memory.

"That's okay. I know sometimes visiting can be difficult. I asked what would you like to feed your father this morning? We have pancakes, waffles, oatmeal or cold cereal." She said.

I thought a moment.

"Do you have any spaghetti left over from last night?" I asked.

Colette was hesitant. "Uh, yes." she said.

"Then that's what he will have." I said.

I really, really enjoyed my breakfast with my dad that morning.

Posted By Wyatt- at 2/10/2056 at 9:17 AM

This post was inspired by my brother the LawnWhisperer. When I told him about feeding Wyatt spaghetti for breakfast he said that when I am old and I need my kids to take care of me they will remember those moments.


Charity Donovan said...

pure awesomeness!

SciFi Dad said...

This was great. I may have to be inspired by it myself.

Lauren said...

That was awesome.... and I think Colette is a nice dog name.

mrtl said...

Good thing you reheated it.

Melissa said...

my sweet little Wyatt.

hilarious and inspired!

Melinda said...

The Golden Rule for Parents:
Do unto your children, lest they do unto you right back in retirement.

Brilliant post!

James (SeattleDad) said...

Hahaha. Nice. If you are still kicking around in 2056 you should be happy you can still chew speghetti.

Paula said...

Yep! I could totally see my kids doing this to me!

Tela said...

Loved the fact that you wrote the post from his perspective eons from now. :-)

eclectic said...

No reheating! Remember: revenge is a dish best served cold. ;)

DGB said...

I love this.

Except for one thing, we're never gonna get those jet packs that we really want in the future.

Unknown said...


Anonymous said...

prob the best post you've ever written.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I LOVE this! Wyatt in the present has much in common with my Humorous-Juniorous. Foods that he loved in his younger years moved to his "will not eat" list. Too many blackberries one day as a 3rd grader and suddenly he refused to eat any and all berries. He's 15 years old now and couldn't stomach the blueberry pancakes I made recently (even though I didn't tell him about the stinkbug that fell on the griddle).

I fear for my future...