Monday, February 11, 2008

Secrets and Cheese

We were gathering up our stuff, getting ready to leave Lauren’s mother’s house, after enjoying a delicious dinner, when Lauren’s mom offered us some leftovers.

“Here, take this provolone.” Lauren’s mom said.

“No. You keep the provolone. We have plenty of cheese at home.”

“Well, I am not going to eat all of that provolone. You take it.” Lauren’s mom insisted.

“Mom, you can use the provolone for salads or whatever. What we are taking is quite enough.”

I listened from the other room and they said provolone like 30 times. Every time they said provolone it bothered me. Not the actual word but the way Lauren pronounced it.

Driving home I told Lauren to be careful on one stretch of road because cops always hide behind certain building to catch speeders.

“I know I see them all the time when I drive down here.” She confirmed. “You know I have only ever gotten one speeding ticket?”

“Really? When?” I asked.

“Back when I did that craft show in Jersey. The speed limit went from 50 to 35 in an instant. The cops just waited at that spot and pulled people over.”

She told me about how the cop stopped her and acted like he was doing her a favor by writing her up for a lower speed than what he thought she was doing.

“We were together back then. How come you never told me you got a ticket?” I asked.

“I guess I was embarrassed by it then.” She answered.

“Look at that. You keeping secrets from me after all this time.”

“Oh. I am sure you have some secrets kept from me.”

“Well I need to stay mysterious.”

I think she rolled her eyes and the conversation ended there.

This morning we were chatting and I asked her why she pronounced provolone the way she does.

“How do you pronounce it?” She asked.

“Provolone.” I said. “Like it is a professional volone.”

“Well, I prefer provolone.”

“How I did not know that? We have been together for ten years. You would think that it would have come up before.”

“I don’t know.” Lauren said. “I guess it never came up.”

“See. There you go again, keeping secrets from me.”


Anonymous said...

Usually I lurk. But how does she pronounce it?

SciFi Dad said...

From the previous comment, I see I am not the only one who noticed a lack of phonetic description. How does she pronounce it? And you?

I'm Italian (ih-TAL-yan, not EYE-TAL-yan) and pronounce it PROH-va-lohn. (I may or may not roll the R, depending on my mood.)

eclectic said...

Aaaack! You make it rhyme with bologna?!?! Bill, stop keeping secrets!! How's Lauren ever going to correct you if she doesn't even know you're wrong?! ;)

Anonymous said...

Er......could we have the phonetic version of both for comparison please as I don't know how to say provolone nor Bologna the American way.


Undercover Mutha said...

Does she say prov like in improv?

Anonymous said...

think, "bra-volone".

Unknown said...

Nuh-UH! She says is like "bra" valone??? WHO says that? I've never heard that in my life.

Anonymous said...

So she pronounces it like an amateur volone. (Or, as it turns out, a volone in ladies' undies.)

Amber said...

Wow! You two have some juicy secrets.

Bogart said...

Could be worse, I have a friend that insists that the last vowel at the end of every Italian word should not be pronounced...ever.
So mozzarella would be pronounced "Mots-a-Rel"...

OhTheJoys said...

It's not Pro Baloney?

Anonymous said...

I say tomato, you say tomayto, words to a song, I believe. The Webster's dictionary pronounces it pro-va-lone-ee. Maybe Lauren is right on this one. Our writer is not using his word source.He is correct on the long O in the beginning, however, the long E at the end was a shock to me! You must concede, William, she is correct on the ending. I love the dictionary! momo9

Ms. Junie said...

I'm still trying to figure out how you and she pronounced it. (Sorry. its a funny story and I want the full effect!!!) :)
Despite the mispronounciation--it reminded me of going to my mother's house and her wanting us to take food home. "No we'll never eat this." "No you keep it"....etc.