Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Hard Wear *

Here is tidbit of information if you ever want to have fun while shopping. It happened to me by accident but I laughed for a good 10 minutes that I realized it would be easy to do on a regular basis.

This is what happened to me.

I went Christmas shopping for Lauren. One of the items on my list was bras; nothing sexy or Victoria’s Secret type of undergarment, but just everyday wear type of bra. I went to the Sears because I also had to get her a house ware type of gift. I figured I would kill two birds with one stone.

The day I went, Sears was having a bra sale. There were rows and rows and bins and bins of them. I found a few that I thought she would like and took them over to the register in the Lingerie Department. I never bothered to look at the tags; I knew they were on sale. There was a pretty big line and I thought to myself I still need to pick up the salad bowl that Lauren wanted so I will just checkout and pay in that department.

I took the escalator down to the House Ware department found the bowl I needed and went to pay for my items. No one was at the register so I walked over to the Hardware department to pay. I put the items on the counter and Hank, a burley man in his mid fifties working the register, scanned the bowl. He did not notice that I placed the two bras on the counter.

“Is that it?” he asked.

“No.” I said. “These too.” And I pointed to the undergarments.

The expression on Hank’s face was priceless. He picked up the pink bra between his thumb and forefinger and held it ever so delicately as if he did not want to get cooties. He found the tag and tried to scan it. It did not scan. He looked at the tag and then at the scanner. He tried again. It did not scan. He looked for a price but did not see one. He looked to me for help.

“They are on sale. Maybe that’s the problem.” I told him.

Hank’s face turned a slight pinkish color. He picked up the phone and made a call.

“This is Hank in Hardware. I need a department code for a bra.” He whispered.

The person on the other end of the phone must not of heard him because he repeated himself. Then he had to pick up the bra and look for the make and model and tell the person on the other end of the phone. He punched a few codes into the register and hung up. You could tell he was totally uneasy about handling the bra.

He grabbed the black bra that I wanted to purchase and scanned the tag. It did not scan. He rolled his eyes as his face turned red and he had to call the lingerie department again.

I cracked up. I laughed all the way to my car.

So if you ever wanted to have fun while shopping for unmentionables, go to Sears, make the tag un-scan-able and take it to the hardware department.

* yes, I know the title of this post is a total double entendre and I know that my brother Kevin would comment on it.


Alpha Dude said...

I am sooo going to try this.

The Woman Undone said...

That was truely priceless!!!!
Thanks for sharing!!

Patience said...

What kind of guy is uncomfortable handling bras?!? Sounds like fun though!

I bought one once and had some stuff to buy in the automotive department. The guy checking was pretty young and didn't even bat an eyelash! Maybe he didn't know what it was!

MrsDoF said...

There is no way in this lifetime that I would allow my husband to buy a bra for me--the fit, the fabric, the support--are exact details I prefer to trust only for myself.

Although I can see him carrying an item from one department to another and causing a ruckus.


Anonymous said...

My husband would thoroughly enjoy this little game.

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I worked at CVS as a teenager and I used to call for a price check for condoms EVEN when the scan bar worked. I couldn't resist the look on the guys face!!

(and yes, I know, I'm going to hell)

Anonymous said...

....and a middle aged woman and her (then) boyfriend once went to Sears and bought a hammer and a sexy "teddie" at the same time and the boyfriend who thought he was funny, said "someone's going to get nailed tonight". True story. I feel sorry for the clerks at Sears!

t_cole said...

only you...

OhTheJoys said...

Call me a snob, but Sears? for a Bra?

Amber said...

"Make and model" for a bra, uh? It's not a holds boobs. Although.... both do have headlights.

Anonymous said...

How do you only buy one salad bowl while purchasing a bra?

Emily said...

This is my first visit here.

I came via Oh The Joys.

I can't quit laughing!

eclectic said...

**note to husband: Never buy me lingerie at a store that also sells hardwear, appliances, and/or automotive items.**

Bill, thank you for bringing this possibility to my attention. I will clarify the "rules" immediately. ;)

Kami said...

Heyyyyyy, e-mail me at


Incidentally, my letter verification is "kwieer." Sound it out.

Rose said...

BTW, the GID is going to try this shopping method out. He HATES shopping and malls.

3 comments in one lurk. Am I out of "lurker" status.
I didn't think so...