Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Devil's cat.

I was sitting in the family room, reading a book, waiting for the new episode of Lost to start and Lauren was at the kitchen table, which overlooks where I was sitting, working on a sewing project. The kids were asleep. The cats were locked up and Luna, our dog, was out back. I was looking forward to a peaceful evening.

"Uh Oh" Lauren said. "I think Luna just got sprayed by a skunk."

I looked over at her. "Why do you say that?"

"I just heard her bark and I can smell it."

I stood up and walked the five feet to the kitchen. Lauren was sitting by the bay window that overlooks the back yard. I was smacked in the face by, what I thought at that time, was the most despicable odor I have ever smelled. Lauren said she heard a noise under the bay window. That must have been where the skunk was hiding.

"Oh No." I said and I went back to the family room to open the sliding glass door that leads to our screened-in porch. I opened the door and was smacked in the face by what I thought, at that time, was the most despicable odor I have ever smelled (and I just smelled the most despicable smell). "Luna!" I called out.

She came running to the screen door. I shut the sliding door behind me and walked over to the screen door and let her inside the porch. I leaned over and smelled her fur. And now, at that time I smelled the most dispacable odor I have ever smelled. Yep she got sprayed by a skunk. I knew I was going to leave her on the porch and as I tried to enter the house she tried to nudge her way past me. I grabbed her by the head and pushed her back.

I walked back into the house and our entire home now smelled of skunk. I would say it is was a "God awful" smell but I think that maybe a Skunk is like the devil's cat. The odor was pungent and putrid and Lauren and I both agreed we could taste it in the back of our throats.

"How do we clean her up?" I asked.

"Go look it up on-line." She answered. "Is she bad?"

"She does not look like she got it in her face but her coat smells horrible." I said as I ran to the computer and thank Google I had an answer fast.

"I need to run out to the store to get some peroxide and baking soda. I need to clean her tonight. I can't let her sleep outside. Its freezing." I put on my shoes and grabbed my keys and headed out the door. I thought the fresh air out front would be refreshing but the stink was still burning the hairs in my nose.

Ten minutes later I was standing in Walgreens Pharmacy looking for the materials I would need. I had to ask a young girl to help me find something and as she walked past me I could see her wince. "Holy crap!" I thought. "I smell like a skunk." I sniffed my hands. They weren't too bad. Maybe I was smelling a phantom smell. I sniffed my arms, my shoulders, my chest anywhere my nose could reach. The girl turned and looked at me like I was a crazy smelly lunatic. I must have gotten skunk on me when I pushed the dog back. I apologized to the girl and tried to explain myself but she just hurried away.

I took my basket up to the counter and,of course, at 9:30 on a Thursday night, is when EVERY ONE wants to shop at Walgreens. The people in front of me kept looking around and sniffing the air. The two people directly in front of me, kept looking back at me and making faces. I could swear that the guy at the check out counter, after I signed the credit card slip, threw the pen away.

When I got home the house still stunk. I put on some old clothes and some just purchased rubber gloves (I usually rent them . I have a lease with an option to buy*). I took off my shoes so they would not get wet and smelly. I made up the mixture of peroxide, dish soap and baking soda and I went out back onto the screened porch.

I scrubbed the dog for twenty minutes. My feet were soaked and numb from the cold. The instructions said to let the mixture soak in for a bit before rinsing it off. I went inside to warm up and I filled up two buckets of hot water to rinse the dog. The house still stunk. I waited the appropriate amount of time and I went back to rinse the dog. I poured the hot water slowly over her back. As the hot water hit the cold conrete floor, steam rose up into my face. The more water I poured, the more steam. Basically I was taking a skunk sauna.

Suprisingly the mixture seemed to work. Once Luna was rinsed she smelled more like wet dog than skunk.

Like I said before, a skunk has to be from the devil. I have never smelled anything as horrible as that sulfuric, pungent, nasty, burnt rotten eggs smell of a skunk spray. That's just how nasty it was. The smell feels like it has invaded my body to some extent, like I need to use Carpet Fresh on my soul.



*What movie is that line from?

39 comments:

Susie said...

I feel a similar way about tequila.

Poor Luna...I hope she warmed up quick!

Charlotte in Pa said...

Skunk smell is THE WORST! I grew up in the country in Michigan and our dog got sprayed on the regular. We always gave her a bath with tomato juice, which worked great. Unfortunately, I couldn't eat spaghetti for a month after.

Oh - and Fletch!

gigglepotamus said...

yeah, Fletch!

It still smells in here- BAD!! Does anyone know how to get skunk smell out of the inside of your house??? I swear the thing is living in our crawlspace...

SciFi Dad said...

Mmm... skunk sauna... good for the pores AND the sinuses!

That was awesome (probably because it was you and not me).

SciFi Dad said...

Noticed your wife's comment after I posted mine...

Coffee is a scent neutralizer (that's why places like the Body Shop have jars of coffee beans lying around). According to some, you can roast coffee beans and cinnamon (not sure why cinnamon) in the oven to remove skunk smell.

Bogart in P Towne said...

Time to go to church and get the devil's juice out of your soul!

Fletch is fantastic!!!

kalki said...

We had a skunk crawl up and die under our house. At least we think that's what happened, because for over a week our house was filled with the horrendous stench of skunk. We woke up every morning with headaches. I could taste it in my mouth. And then at work sometimes I'd get a whiff of it and think, like you, that it must be a phantom smell - only to realize my coat smelled.

It finally faded. I don't envy you any, that's for sure.

Circus Kelli said...

Wait, so, let me get this straight. The skunk funk was really really bad?

Hmm. Who'd a thunk?

kalki said...

Oh, and your description of the grimacing people at Walgreens cracked me up.

Cathy said...

UGH! (don't know the movie)
I love that your wife said, "Go look it up online." What did people do before internet???

Wendy said...

Ah, man. This sounds TOO familiar. We have a chow-chow (she has a "double" coat like a husky with really thick fur). She has been sprayed by a skunk, right in the face, no less than five times. It's almost always at night, and usually after everything is closed. Silly dog! I think she finally got the clue, though. (knock on wood) She hasn't been sprayed in a couple of years.

Incense works pretty well to get rid of the skunk smell in the house. My favorite is Patchouli ;).

Redhead Mommy said...

UGHH! So sorry for you, but hey, it made me laugh!! hehe.

Mainline Mom said...

Hehehe...I remember once when a skunk just sprayed the outside of our house...but the smell invaded the house and later the next day it invaded my office where I hung my coat up. I could not escape it.

mominmentalmotion said...

Oh goodness, I am really sorry about that! Yuck.

Susie said...

Poor Luna. And y'all. I was all concerned for Luna, et al, until we reached the Walgreen's, and then this was hilarious.

Sounds like you're gonna need to go back there and get a case of Febreze. Or Febreeze. Or however it's spelled.

Cole said...

Ah, that special joy that skunks bring. My home, as you know William, has been ground zero for many skunky occupations and that stank is overpowering. There are things you can do, but the odor will take time to dissipate.

Undercover Mutha said...

My SIL's poodle was sprayed, and they made the unfortunate mistake of opening the back door. She whipped in and jumped ALL OVER THE COUCHES. We could still smell skunk on the back porch for MONTHS, I am sorry to say.

creative-type dad said...

There's a guy a work that smells like that.

Although, I think I might just spray Holy Water on him.

The Q said...

I cannot even imagine. How horrible!! We've had skunks in our backyard and I've had to hurriedly run around the house closing up all the windows, but thankfully the Dog has never been sprayed by one.

Oh, The Joys said...

K would counter,

"You have not smelled The Mighty Wind!"

Heh.

(Poor, K.)

Patience said...

PeeEwww!

Lisa said...

Gawd, I forgot about skunks. You just don't see them or smell them in the south. Oh the stench! Sorry to say, but you guys will be stinkin' for at least three days.

MP said...

I always thought you bathed them in tomatoe juice..thank god for the internet. My step son got a small wiff of skunk for the first time in his life..we drove by a dead one on the highway.. LOL
I can't image the house smelling like that. WOW.
I am a little dissapointed there aren't pictures to accompany this post.. :-)

lil foots mommy said...

oh how awful. i do have to say though, i probably would've looked at you with an equally freaked out look if i was in the store with you :-)

Erin said...

We had the same thing happen to our dog. The peroxide-baking soda-dishsoap worked pretty well, but he still smelled the next day. So we sprayed him with Febreeze for pets. Worked like a charm. He smelled way too pretty for a boy dog, but he sure didn't reek of skunk, either.

Anonymous said...

Stink, Stank, Skunk!

t_cole said...

This is sad.
All I got out of this post was that you missed Lost...

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Smelly Guy...that could be your super hero name. After all, it is going to be what people as Walgreens will call you from now on. I say embrace it; there is no reason why you shouldn't be able to fart freely there now. They've smelled the worst of ya. They might think it is an improvement. What a nice thought, allergy meds and freedom to fart as you feel...that would be a dream come true for Big Daddy.

pb&j in a bowl said...

We have a family of skunks that live outside our apartment. My husband is terrified of being sprayed and makes me walk out first. Devil cat- perfect description.

Jan said...

We keep a supply of tomato juice in the pantry. Gots to be prepared.

eclectic said...

We had a dog once (may he rest in peace) who COULD NOT stay away from skunks. He LOVED to chase them, and as a result was hit at point-blank range in the face so many times we stopped counting. Lemme just say tomato juice does NOT work if you want the dog to ever come inside the house.

Now then Gigglepotamus, Febreze for the inside of the house should help, but shampooing the carpets and upholstery with a baking soda solution will definitely take care of it. However, it's a pain in the arse. Good luck!

William -- dude, you crack me up!

Aunt Jo said...

I have a leather wallet that I swear is permanently skunkified. It is in the trash as we speak. I thought it was my imagination, but as you know, skuniness is a smell all its own and has some staying power. hope your house got all aired out!

Ern said...

That's horrible. As one (occasionally skunk-sprayed) dog owner to another, you have my sympathy. Don't worry. You'll stop smelling it in a week or two. Blech.

Anonymous said...

When one of our foster dogs got skunked, we used the old tomato juice remedy, but the bathroom with the tub is all white, so the dog and I took a tomato juice shower. The pictures look like a scene from Psycho.

And we got the same reaction from the people in the grocery store lineup. One of them kept glancing over her shoulder at me until I snapped, "I KNOW! Hence the four cans of tomato juice!"

-Allie (spawn of Nilbo)

Golightly said...

I'm originally from the mid west, never a direct-hit run-in once. Now I live in the city, my dog has been skunked 3 times in as many years. We use tomato juice, they hydrogen peroxide mixture and/or a product called Nature's Miracle that you can get at a pet store. We keep that on hand now.

As for the house, we open all the windows light candles and let time do it's job. Ugh.

Sorry about Luna

Tismee2 said...

Now I know why It's great to be English! We don't have skunks.

My two dogs once rolled in a decomposing fox - would this come close to skunk-aroma??

Just so I can appreciate what you guys are going through.

Kami said...

Yuck.

My mom had a pet skunk when she was a kid. Weirdo.

Bethany said...

Ok, I know this is weird...our UPS man got sprayed and his mom is an ER nurse so she told him what to use...he washed everything in douche. Nasty, I know...He scrubbed in it, washed his clothes in the washer with it, everything. He said one treatment took care of everything. And his vaginal health has never been better.

Anonymous said...

:( You guys are so lucky! I LOVEE the smell of skunk up close. People think im crazy when we smell a dead one on the highway and i un-roll the windows and take deep breaths. I got skunked once up close though, i loved it!

I envy you. :( good story though :)