Friday, February 15, 2008

The Way Eye Roll

Do you know how a good sneeze can be satisfying? You can feel the itch in your nasal passages and it builds and it builds and your neck and shoulders tighten ever slow slightly in preparation of the sneeze. Part of you does not want to sneeze, but you know that once you do there will be a moment of satisfaction and relief. And sometimes, maybe someone interrupts you, or the sneeze is not as cleansing as you thought and you think “Man, that totally was not what I wanted it to be.”

Do you know what I am talking about?

Do you know how a good yawn can totally make you feel better? Your body is craving the oxygen and you look forward to the stretching of the neck and mouth muscles and the refreshment of a deep clean breath. Then in mid-yawn someone stops you. Your yawn is interrupted. Like maybe your spouse sticks his finger into your open mid-yawn mouth as a joke (Lauren hates when I do that) and you are left feeling like you need another yawn but you know you can’t really make yourself yawn, so you sit there waiting.

The other day I was on the phone with Lauren. I was at work and she was home. I asked her if she knew where a certain photo was.

“No. I haven’t seen it.” She said.

“Well I took it from the side of the fridge and I scanned it. And I remember taking it out of the scanner but I don’t know what I did with it after that. I am pretty sure I left it on the desk.”

“Well,” Lauren replied “if you would have put it back where it belonged then you would know where it was.”

I paused.

“Go ahead Bill.” Lauren said. “Roll your eyes and sigh.”

She got me in mid eye roll and mid sigh. It doesn’t matter that she was six miles away and couldn’t see me. She knew what I was doing.

She interrupted a perfectly good sigh and rolling of the eyes. It felt like a stifled sneeze or a half yawn.

No satisfaction what so ever.

24 comments:

Gina Coggio said...

I don't know about anyone else, but as soon as you wrote that paragraph on the yawn, I started yawning and couldn't stop. Very effective writing there.

Bogart in P Towne said...

cruel, just cruel. And you can tell her I said that.

Patience said...

I hate it when such natural things are interrupted.

The Egel Nest said...

Our wives...they have rolling eyes in the back of their head :)

I have a new feature I am starting over at the nest, please come check it out!

Bradley
The Egel Nest

whatwasithinking said...

I once read a children's book about sex, and it compared orgasm to a sneeze. That's all. Just reminded me of that.

Mainline Mom said...

Yeah, I was thinking exactly what Susie said in the previous comment. A good sneeze is very much like an orgasm that way.

Anonymous said...

In regards to the sneeze/orgasm comparison

One is usually preceded with the word "God" and the other is usually followed by the word "God"

sari said...

I know I roll my eyes too much because my six year old does it to me. It's really sort of sad.

Crumbs said...

I learned about sex from the same book. "It's like a sneeze, only nicer."

Ern said...

She's right, of course.

Scarlett Wanna Be said...

Yes, but where you picking your nose when you were talking to her?

Kami said...

Oh, I HATE when a yawn is interrupted!

Aunt Jo said...

Sneezgasm

Yawngasm

They're good things.

Anonymous said...

You totally got blogjacked.

spain dad said...

yep, Gina, I yawned too when I read the first paragraphs.

Ali said...

I have a friend who equates a good sneeze with an orgasm.

Circus Kelli said...

Hee hee... Well, she has a point...

And I thought it was just my husband that interrupted my yawns by sticking his finger in my mouth... sheesh... you'd think he would have learned his lesson after I bit him that time..

sometrouble said...

why do you husbands like to wreck a perfectly good yawn with the invasion of a finger??? Mine does the same annoying thing. The joy he gets from it never gets old either!

Misty said...

What's worse is when you want to roll your eyes--but it would be impolite--so you have to wait until you're out of the person's range and roll your eyes like crazy.

Carmi said...

Sarcasticus interruptus.

I was attending a play with my wife earlier today. I've been feeling under the weather, and mid-performance, I felt a sneeze building.

I had to stifle it, and I likely blew up parts of the inside of my head in the process. Sigh indeed!

Janice said...

I hate it when my sneeze is interrupted, I love to sneeze.

Gwen said...

I call an interrupted sneeze, "Sneeze tease."

No tease is good.

Effie said...

I think sneezes are a bit awful when you have to pee though...a woman has to cross her legs and hold on tight...

Lisa said...

She has you pegged, huh? There is such comfort in familiarity. My hubsand's reaction would have been a soft grab at the tip of his nose with his index finger and thumb accompanied with a slight sniffle.