Monday, March 19, 2007

Dishwasher by the numbers.

2- The number of phone calls I made regarding installing a new dishwasher. One to my brother Dan to ask how easy it is to install a new dishwasher and one to our neighbor Joel to borrow teflon tape.

45-Minutes it took to disconnect and remove the old dishwasher.

5-Times I said a combination of words that started with "son" and ended with "whore".

90-Minutes it took to connect and balance the new dishwasher.

4-Times I said a combination of a word that starts with "M" and ends with "otherfucker".

3-Times Lauren asked me if I needed help immediatley after I said one of the words from above.

3-The number of tools the instructions claim I would need for the project.

17-The actual number of tools I used.

15-Minutes is the total time I spent looking for the tool "that I just used" only to find that I was still holding it or laying on top of it.

10:00-PM is the time I finished installing the new dishwasher.

1- is the total parts I had left over that was supposed to be used but I don't know where it goes and I don't care because the new dishwasher works anyways without it.

23 comments:

Patience said...

Excellent! Excellent job!! Things went very smoothly! Much more so than the same job would go at my home!!

Michelle said...

That extra part is what I like to call a "pocket screw." Everything I have to assembly seems to come with extra screws that I can't find where they go so they go in my pocket and no one is the wiser!

Mainline Mom said...

That's ok, my husband wouldn't have even tried.

Anonymous said...

6- the number of times I smiled while reading this post

eclectic said...

Congratulations you home-improvement wizard, you!

Kami said...

I love it.

Jon always has leftover parts.

Effie said...

...hopefully that leftover part isn't some kind of important seal that is to be used so that it doesn't leak internally, where you can't see the problem until it becomes a gigantic problem with dampness in the wall behind the unit....hopefully...but yay for you putting it in with only 1 extra part...

Nancy said...

Tim Allen has nothing over you! Job well done ... I would have just hired someone lol

Stacie said...

I LOVE this post!
Stacie

sari said...

Good thing you're not a surgeon!

Laura said...

Go William!!!!

Beth Fish said...

Dude, we put ours in in like 20 minutes with a screwdriver. Maybe not having the foggiest idea what you are doing is helpful in this type of situation.

momo9 said...

Way to go, William! I told you, there's more to life than sports! Not one of those athletic brothers of yours would have attempted such a fete! (N.J. son excluded) Ninety minutes! Not bad! I'm proud of you. Shall I make a "fix-it" list for you when you come North?

kimmyk said...

The world is an imperfect place-screws fall out all the time.

JP said...

Colorful metaphors are an integral part for all home improvement projects.

kalki said...

Yeah, this is exactly why we went with the Lowe's installation.

Football Widow said...

Oh my! That sounds about how it would be at our house too! So I guess the new one is working?

cat said...

A snapshot of what Cat married into:

Brother-in-law: Cat, what do you do when your dishwasher stops working?

Cat: Buy a new one?

Brother-in-law: No, you give her a smack and tell her to get back to work! HA!

Cat: You scare me.

ThePapaDog said...

Cat you stole my thundar. Ha HA


God job with the new dishwasher.

I never had the opportunity to install one myself, but in the future I think I'll have someone else do that.

Thanks for the enlightenment..

Circus Kelli said...

Hee hee!

Happy new dishwasher!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a typical guy home fix-it project to me! That's EXACTLY how things go around my house.

bbsgirl said...

I'm laughing with you since by now I'm sure you're laughing at yourself. I do however think it's great that you got it installed by yourself.

Michelle said...

That sounds like the way it would've gone at my house too. I generally call the job by the number of time's SS Dad needs to say F followed by uck. Installing the blinds was a 3 f-job but failing to install the over-the-range microwave was a 20 f-job. And a $350 bill to have it done by a professional.