Friday, March 16, 2007

Sport

I was never a strong athlete.

I have mentioned, in the past, here on Poop and Boogies, that when my dad was the coach of my T-ball team he made me play catcher so I could wear all the equipment because he was afraid I would get hurt.

I think I have written somewhere that the only reason my brothers would ask me to play in any type of game is that they needed an extra guy to make the teams even, unless it was a game of basketball in the driveway. They knew that, even though I could not dribble, shoot, or pass the ball very well, that I had inherited my mother’s legs and that I could box out anyone under the hoop for a rebound. Plus the fact that I have long arms, for which they called me Grape Ape, would help reach higher than other players rebounding the ball.

When I played regular Little League I spent a year or two on my brother The LawnWhisperer’s team. He likes to tell the story of how, one time, while I was playing left field, I was so busy yelling at the third basemen, Rob Reese, for letting a grounder go through his legs that I, too, let the same ball go, the one he missed, go through my legs.

The last time I played any type of organized sport was about 10 years ago. My brother Pat had a softball team that needed an extra man for one game. It was night game being played under the lights at the local field. LawnWhisperer was on the team. I was having problems with my contact lenses at the time and I wore my glasses to the game. There was a light rain/drizzle coming down on the field. They had me play right field so my lack of skills would not impact the team as much.

I played most of the game without incident. Meaning no one hit the ball in my direction. Towards the end of the game the opposing team’s batter hit a hard fly ball that was coming down right where I was standing. An easy out. I looked up to follow the balls trajectory, when the light rain started to splatter on my glasses. The drops of water that were on my glasses, against the bright white lights of the ball park made it look as if there were a hundred white dots falling down on me. I could not figure out which white dot was the actual soft ball. I raised my glove to catch any one of them. Of course the ball lands right next me. The other team scores and I am ridiculed for the rest of the evening.

I am writing this, because the Lawnwhisperer called me yesterday to ask me to join his Softball team.

I expect hilarity and ridicule to follow.

22 comments:

Anonymous said...

William,

That's OK. He also asked Rob Reese to play as well.

Anonymous said...

10 years ago in right field , did Lawnwhisperer make you wear full catcher's equipment?

Anonymous said...

William,

I am having a "who wants to be a Superhero" fantasy draft. I need you on my team.

Nancy said...

At least he didn't ask you to be "water boy" .... yet, lol, have fun!

Kami said...

Ooooh, I can't wait to hear the stories.

A Terrible Person said...

You know, I used to ask my brother in law to play racket ball with us for the same reason.
Now I feel like a terrible person.

SoozieQ said...

LawnWhisperer must have been seriously desperate.

momo9 said...

You coulda been a contenda! You sell yourself cheap, William! If you wanted to be an athlete, you would have been! Your interests were elsewhere. And that's okay! This world needs all kinds to make it a great world. Sports isn't everything. Right? We need our athletes, but we also need our artists, writers, creative thinkers, musicians, scientists, doctors, and yes lawyers, too. We need our actors, and dancers, and singers, we need our entrepreneurs. We need our truck drivers and contractors and landscapers, and yes we even need grave diggers. It takes all kinds. Sports isn't everything. There is no tension putting paint to the canvas, but there sure is tension on the basketball court, especially during the month of March. You are my artist, tension free, because you SIGH! Only you will get that! Luv U JUST THE WAY U R. Always have.

lawnwhisperer said...

Hey, how come mom left out strippers and hookers?

Anonymous said...

Now there are two honest proffessions

TBG said...

So are you moving back to PA to be on this softball team?

jd said...

William, you're going to go back up to the LawnWhisper's house just to play one game? That's a long trip! There should be some Doritos or Chetos in it for you or something!

Effie said...

but you said yes anyways....

you make me smile

Effie said...

but wait--none of your family members live in Fla, do they?

Teri said...

does this mean you won't be missing Philly anymore?

kalki said...

Video please! It's only fair to let us, your devoted fans, join in the ridicule.

susie said...

I'm commenting because your mom just left the most wonderful Mom comment. One day I will leave Liam that type of comments on his blog (and his brother will mock him). It's a verbal hug, William! So sweet!

eclectic said...

At least you weren't recruited to be one of the base bags or something. Oh, and how much do I love your mom?!?!

Mainline Mom said...

I think that means you are moving back up to Philly and that makes me jump for joy. :) I'll be on LW's softball team...even pregnant I can catch a fly ball.

ThePapaDog said...

Just get drunk before the game so you have an excuse...

Stacie said...

I was always picked last too...or picked to be goalie. Not sure which is worse...

I wish Mom would get her own blog..oh the stories she must have!
Stacie

momogeeks said...

I absolutely LOVE reading your blog! I'm a mom of a regular blogger, and have 3 boys...(all computer geeks) As a matter of fact, my eldest has your page linked to his, which is how I found your page in the first place. your mom is right... the world takes all kinds of people, and from what I can tell, you are an incredibly talented writer!! I dont know what you "do for a living" but if it's not writing, you should consider it!!
~momogeeks~