Dog House

Before you read the rest of this post you need to think for a second. Do you know the name of your mom's high school?

Do you know the answer? Be honest, and answer in the comments with a simple Yes or No. YES you do know the name of the high school your mom attended or NO you do not know the name.
This is for scientific purposes so be honest.

The other night Lauren and I were talking about our parents and the fact that they each grew up (for the most part) in different parts of Philly. Lauren asked me where my mom grew up and I drew a blank. She then asked me what high school my mom attended and I did not know. It was no big deal. Since I have a great relationship with my parents I decided to call them and ask. Their machine picked up and I started to leave a message asking where my mom grew up and what high school she attended when my dad picked up the phone.

I chatted with him for a minute and then told him the purpose of my call. He told me my mom grew up in the Olney section of Philadelphia and that she attended Cardinal Dougherty H.S. We talked for a few more minutes and said good-bye. The conversation was pleasant and direct and very matter of fact. There was no hint of any possible disbelief on my dad's part about the fact that I did not know where my mom was from.

That was Saturday night.

Monday evening I received a phone call from my brother the LawnWhisperer. He was not very happy with me. This is the conversation.

Bill: Yo.
LW: Yo.
Bill: What's up?
LW: How could you NOT know where mom went to high school?
Bill: I don't know. I just didn't know. Why?
LW: Well you got me in trouble with mom. Thanks.
Bill: How did I get you in trouble?
LW: I am in the doghouse. Do you remember how mom used to have those pictures of the doghouse with the little wooden dogs with all of our names on it and if we were bad she would hang our name inside the doghouse so everyone would know we were in trouble.
Bill: Yeah.
LW: I think she is breaking that out again and putting both of us in it.

LawnWhisperer then went on to explain how my Dad found it funny that I did not know where my mom was from. When my mom got home Saturday evening my dad told her about my call. He then played the partial message I left on their machine. He thought it was funny that I did not know where she grew up. My mom was not too pleased. She claimed that every one of her children would know the answer to that question; that every one of her kids SHOULD know the answer. My dad decided to test all of their children. My dad called each of his kids and asked. Every one knew where my mom grew up and where she went to high school.

Everyone but me.

And LawnWhisperer.

Of course my dad had to tell my mom the results of his survey.

Now my mom is upset with the LawnWhisperer as well. LW is now upset with me. Because if I never called my Dad and asked the question he would never have called all my siblings and it would never have come out that LW did not know the answer.

Now in defense of LW and myself, we are the middle children. Out of the nine kids, my brother Dan, LW and myself are the middle three. Yes Dan did know the answer but I am sure that is due to the fact that my Mom probably stopped paying attention to the kids after Dan and started paying attention, again, after me. She probably told all kind of wonderful bedtimes stories about the glory days at Cardinal Dougherty. The problem is that as she gathered all the kids around to hear the stories of her and Kathy G, her best friend, my mom most likely forgot to invite LW and myself.

As far as the reason why I forgot my mom was from Olney it is quite simple. My mom is beautiful. Absolutely stunning and she has a radiant smile. Now the saying goes, you know someone from Olney invented Toothpaste, other wise they would have called it Teethpaste. (Give it a minute it will sink in). I only thought ugly people came from Olney. So there is no way my Mom could have been from that part of Philly.

So what’s the point of this whole post? I will break it down.

1. Do you know where your mom went to high school?

2. One of my dad’s favorite sayings is “I am perfectly capable of starting my own fights with your mother. I don’t need your help.” I would like to say to him: Dad I am perfectly capable of getting mom mad at me on my own. I don’t need your help.

3. Mom, I may not know where you grew up or where you went to high school, but I do know that your favorite movie is Witness with Harrison Ford, Your favorite color is green, your favorite TV show of all time is Magnum P.I. and your favorite son is Jimmy. I bet LW did not know any of those tidbits of info. (Except the Jimmy thing).