Friday, January 26, 2007

Back to School

Guest Post by the LawnWhisperer.


It is absolutely necessary. There is no way around it. I have avoided it for years. I never thought it was all it was cracked up to be, but I am definitely wrong. I was 20 when I decided I could do it alone, and be successful, and I stopped then, but now I must go back. I have to go back to school.

I don’t have to go back for my career. I don’t have to go back for my own self- satisfaction. No, I don’t need the education to better my current life. It is not going to make me any more money or anything. I need to go back and get a degree in Engineering or something. Today is January 26th. Christmas was a month ago. I still have not finished putting together the 840-piece Lego Star Wars ship thing.

I’m telling you right now that this thing is ridiculous. I may have to send this down to Bill, so that his NASA neighbor can get a look at it for me. The saying goes, “Come on man, it isn’t Rocket Science.” I say Bullshit. This thing is worse. Maybe I need to get a degree in Architecture. Those people know how to read and write plans. Maybe the degree I am in need of is Civil Engineering. They have something to do with bridge building and stuff, right? I mean if they know how to build a suspension bridge, they should be able to get this Boba Fett ship together in a snap.

Since when did Lego’s become the size of a pencil tip anyway? Lego’s are building blocks that come in red, blue, green and yellow. Then you are supposed to build your own version of the ship you want. It’s called imagination, right? You build something that looks like a stick, and tell me that it is the Bat Mobile, and I go along with you. I don’t need to actually build the freaking Bat Mobile. Well, I did build that already. That only took up one full day. That was only 180 pieces. The best part is, the box says for 8 years and up. F*** you Lego’s. I’m 37 and I can’t figure this shit out. Anyway, Philosophy, maybe that can be my major. Will that help?

18 comments:

Alikat Corner said...

OMG! I love LW! It is so great to see a guest post from you!!!

Yeah.. I agree.. you should definitely do Architectural-engineering. Did it also come with many pieces screwed to the box? I've seen many toys with this new feature and it is very aggravating...

Good luck with that construction! :)

Susie said...

Or you could major in Theology, like William. And pray for guidance in building the thing ;)

Michael said...

I'm glad you finally gave up your own blog.
You can't go the distance and you can't close the deal.

Your guest blogging is perfect because you are like a middle reliever.

Only one inning out of you per month.

jd said...

YEAH, LW! Great to see you! Can you get William to post a pic of the ship when you (or the NASA guy) finish it?

Redhead Mommy said...

HAAA!!! Oh, that was great. My husband and father sat up Christmas Eve night assembling my son's GeoTrax sets, and got into an arguement. This is supposed to be for ages 2 1/2 and up! I am so looking forward to when he starts getting Legos.

Stacie said...

LOL...Legos are kicking your @$$...
I can relate...I had to put together one of those K'nex rollercoasters for work. UGH! I wanted to kill myself halfway thru. 8 years and up indeed!
good to see you again LW!
Stacie

momo9 said...

Bet if you let the kids help, it would get done in no time. They are a lot smarter than we are. Don't go it alone. Get help! When it's finished are going to knock it down? Hope not! We do want a picture! For the scrapbook afnd posterity. Glad to see you writing again!:)

Anonymous said...

I'm sure all of Christmas wasn't so bad. How long did it take you to blow up your doll?

sari said...

LW,

nice to see you. read you. um, you know.

good luck with the legos. I just try not to vacuum them up around here, we buy the random sets, not the specific kits. that's the way to go.

Mich said...

STOP! DO not try to assemble those things alone. I'm sure you can hire someone to do it - it'll cost less than going back to school, and probably take less time too (although that one's not a given.)

MrsDoF said...

Our UPS delivery driver tells me he has a degree in Philosophy. Driving the brown truck pays more, tho.

Sandy said...

Good to see you LW...you've been missed.

poeticaL said...

you talked about what you do for a living over at the "fish" and.....dude....I totally rocked that world for years prior to the education world. I loved it. chips and diodes and the like...fun!

Michelle said...

You need a 10 year old boy to help you. My son has the Boba Fett ship and he put it together in 6 hours, over 2 days. Hire out man!

Oh yeah, go back and blog on yours! We miss you!

Laura said...

Don't worry about a thing. Just don't put it together at all.

Then your kids will grow up thinking of all they missed out on, such as the cool Star Wars ship and rocket launchers, and that will inspire them to become engineers themselves.

And in the process, they will then invent toys that are actually easy to put together!

How's that for a guilt free excuse?

kimmyk said...

Good to see ya back LW!

Now I TOTALLY know your pain my friend. I can't figure out how to work the TV/DVD remote so I have to ask my kids. I tried once upon a time to help my son with this robot/car thing when his dad was overseas and let me tell ya what I did-I threw it in the trash and called it an effin' day.

I can only take so much before I *snap*.

Kelly said...

Lego's are definitely kicking my pocket book's ass. But as for the rest...I can loan you my almost 8-year-old. How does that work for you? I think we'd both win.

tysgirl said...

You don't need an engineering degree- you just need an 8 year old to help you out!