Monday, October 30, 2006

Frogzilla

When we drove up to PA in September, I had fastened a portable DVD player on the back of the driver’s seat for Maxfield. Keeping him occupied on the long drive was a must and anything by Nick Jr. usually kept him entertained. At the beginning of each DVD, Nick Jr.’s frog logo, a big frog and a little frog, would appear and the their theme music would play and then the frogs would ribbit. I have yet to take the DVD player out of the car. Every-so-often, Max requests to watch a video on a short trip to the store or to the park. We always say no (I really need to take the player out of the car).

Last week we went to run a few errands. I dropped Lauren and Wyatt at a store and Max and I headed to the bookstore. Lauren was going to meet up with us later. We were in the bookstore for about 10 minutes when Max decided to misbehave and have a meltdown over the fact that some other kid was playing with a green train. We promptly left the store, Max screaming all the way to the car. I fastened him into his car seat and I got into the driver’s seat. We would just go and pick up Lauren and Wyatt. I looked into the rearview mirror to make sure Max was calming down when he pointed to the DVD player and said, “Daddy, frog.”

“No Max. We are not watching a video.” I said looking at him in the rearview mirror as I backed out of the parking space.

“Daddy, frog.” He said again. But this time he was looking at my reflection. I could see his tears starting to fade.

“No Max.” I said and I straightened the car and slowly drove along the storefront. “You need to learn to behave. I am not letting you watch a video.” I stopped at a stop sign and looked at him again in the mirror.

His face went from sadness to terror. “DADDY. FROOOOGGGGG!” He screamed. I followed his eyes as they went from the DVD player to his lap and then across the van.

His scream and his eyes told me he was not mad but scared. He was shaking. I pulled over to check on him. I was not sure what was wrong but I was worried about him. Why did he have such a scared look? As I opened the sliding door he was struggling to get out of his harness. He was petrified. He pointed to the seat next to him. “Daddy, Frog.”

I comforted Maxfield as I looked over to the other side of the van. Sitting on the other door was a frog. It was a good size frog. Where the hell was Lauren? She usually handles this type of stuff (unless it is snakes). I don’t like critters. I told Max everything was going to be okay. The frog must have been on my headrest and jumped onto his lap which is what caused him to freak out. I grabbed the camera and took a few pictures. I then went to the other door and opened it and waited for the frog to jump out. I wasn't going to touch it. We waited for a while. I waived a few cars around us. We must have looked pretty funny sitting in the middle of the drive, with all the doors open, just waiting.



28 comments:

Effie said...

It's a good thing you listened to him! That would have freaked ME out! Impressive that you have your camera with you at all important times such as this...

What's Max's costume gonna be this year?

Kami said...

OMG. That is so very funny. Poor Max!

Circus Kelli said...

Wowzer. That IS a big frog.

Anonymous said...

My.. what a big tongue you have.

Lowa said...

Is this for real?? YOU, a grown man, were scared of a tiny little frog!?!? LOL You wanted your wife to come help you??

This is just funny. You sound kinda like my husband. He is scared of snakes. I don't get it, I thought girls were scared of that stuff??

I guess Max is like you and it is born in a person or something. My kids and I would have caught it and played with it. Even as a small little girl, I caught frogs and carried them around with me for hours.

I am sorry to laugh at you, but I just can't imagine a grown man not just picking up a little frog and setting it out of the van. Did Lauren laugh at you later?? LOL When you said pretty good sized, I expected some huge Toad the size of you fist or something. That frog is teeny!

I need to go see what Lawnwhisperer said, see if he made fun of you on his blog or something!

Lauren said...

That's nothin'- you should've seen the spider debacle this weekend...

kittenpie said...

Aw, he's cute! Poor kid, though.

bbsgirl said...

Poor Max...I'm sure that really had him spooked. I'm cracking up at yu though for not trying to get the critter out of the van...LOL

I'd love to hear about the spider!! Will you let Lauren post about it??

GypsyMommy said...

Poor Max! I had a frog like that in my bedroom one night... nearly scared the tinkle out of me and I threw my ice water all over my sleeping Wyatt. sadly, my spouse was out of town, so I had to capture it all by myself and release it to the front yard.

Anonymous said...

If you feel froggy... leap.

Stacie said...

AW, Poor Max! I'd have freaked out too! Stacie

Jamie said...

Stuff like this serves as a pretty good reminder of how frustrating it can be to be a kid when your ability to communicate is limited and adults are constantly making assumptions about you and what you're trying to say. We tend to hear what we expect or want to hear. I had a similar kind of failure to communicate with my daughter and a Winnie the Pooh toy, which led me to believe she was talking about going to the potty when in fact she was not.

Queen Bee said...

Aww, poor Max! Next time he says frog, believe him!!

SoozieQ said...

Now the spider thing I can relate to. I'm am petrified of bugs, especially spiders....frogs, snakes, rodents no problem, but a bug?!?! I have a complete and utter meltdown.

Poor Max though. The thought of being strapped in and unable to escape just gives me the heebie jeebies.

kalki said...

I would pay good money to see that all go down on video.

Frogs are only cute when they're cartoons.

Sandy said...

I would have freaked the freak right out!

stepblog said...

Oh, this is a good story.

It if happens again (??? how could such perfect lightning strike twice), frogs go boing boing boing when you prod them even very gently (no disgusting commentary on that, please, Anonymous). So next time a frog gets all up in your space, just poke him and he'll boing away from you.

Or pick him up and give him a cuddle, which is what I would do. I love frogs.

stepblog said...

And one other thing...

Random frogs in cars? That's freaking Florida for you. That place is teeming with all manner of non-human individuals.

stepblog said...

And one more last thing (I promise)

That's a toad, not a frog. I'm just saying.

kimmyk said...

Amphibians attacking motorists.

I heard about this.
I hear it happens in the south. where the rednecks grow.

but this is where i know you're a true northerner-because if you were a southerner, you would've eaten his legs for dinner that night.

susie said...

ohmigod you had a FROG in your CAR. Um and my husband is also not fond of crawly things. But sometimes you just need to man up. And roll up your windows.

Anonymous said...

Funny, but you don't say what you did first, get Max out, or take the picture of the Frog! I re-read it a couple of times...please tell me you took the child out of his seat before taking the pictures!

judypatooote said...

It just shows that you should always have a camera on hand.... what a good shot of the frog.... poor little Max.....but dad, a frog No, a bat Yes....... I suppose Max doesn't want to be a frog for halloween?

cat said...

Aaaaaaw! Wook at the wittle fwoggie! Okay. I don't know where that came from. I just really love frogs.

Anyhoos, poor Max. He'll never look at Kermit the same way again.

Toady Joe said...

Poor Max. I hope he isn't traumatized forever, now. I'm so proud of you for being a REAL DAD and realizing that there was more going on than a temper tantrum, and then PULLING THE F*CK OVER and taking care of your son, right that minute.

Oooo, I heart your family. ((hugs))

sari said...

This must be the week for random small animal attacks, we got cornered by a grasshopper the size of a Buick over the weekend and had to be rescued by my husband (and I don't have any shame for screaming like a girl, because I am one).

I'm glad you rescued Max, poor little guy. And I secondly hope you took him out of his seat before taking those pictures! :-)

samantha Jo Campen said...

I got attacked (yes, viciously and violently ATTACKED) by a frog in Florida (notice a pattern?) when I was in high school and I'm still terrified of them.

Take Max to therapy. It will help in the long-run.

Mainline Mom said...

I cannot freaking believe that you are scared of a little frog. Where's Lauren? Holy shit. Now I must laught at you for awhile.