Sunday, July 02, 2006

Socks

The other day Lauren was folding laundry (the whites to be exact so take that Lawnwhisperer) and I walked up to her and gave her a kiss and a hug to show my apprecaition of the fact that she is my wife. Neither the kiss nor the hug were returned. She did not kiss me or hug me back. I could have kissed and hugged a stone and I would have felt more warmth. I could tell something was wrong.

"I just hugged and kissed you and you did not respond. What's up with that?"

"I am mad at you."

"For what? I didn't do anything. "

"I am mad because I am doing the laundry and I am rolling your socks."

"Well leave them for me, I will get to them."

"It's not that. I just hate the way you put your socks into the washer. Inside out. Then when they come out of the dryer I have to put them all back inside right to match them up. I hate doing that."

I said I was sorry and I walked out. Then I thought about how I take my socks off. I grab them from the top and pull out and down. I peel them off my foot so that when they are completely off, they are inside out. Fuzzy side out. Seam side out. Then I thought about it some more and I assured myself that I was doing the right thing. My theory that I came up with inside my head and that I later presented to Lauren was this:

Since the inside of the sock touches my foot and the outside of the sock just sits inside my sneaker all day it is more important that the insides of the sock is facing outwards when it is in the washer so it gets more clean.

Lauren did not buy it.
I now have to figure out a different way to take off my socks.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...

~~~ yer in trouble! ~~~

kimmyk said...

she's hormonal right now-don't piss her William....seriously....she's got tender boobs, babies crying, just don't. Mmkay?

Say you're sorry again for the love of motherhood.

Anonymous said...

Slide the ankle part down, and pull from the toes. The sock will stay right side out.(the way Lauren likes it). Or put your thumb or index finger inside the top of the ankle part of the sock and slide down and off. Wahla! The same results. It sounds like Houston is not the only place that has an idiot! Your hugs and kisses will come when the baby sleeps through the night, and Lauren catches up on all the lost sleep. Why weren't YOU folding the laundry??

Anonymous said...

My sister has purposely taught her children a way to take off their socks so she doesn't have to deal with this issue.

Unfortunately, her husband uses your method.

Kate Giovinco Photography said...

Wear them inside out so when you take them off they are the right way to be washed. Problem solved!

Michelle said...

No matter which way you do it, you are wrong - simply because she shouldn't have been folding the laundry. If the kids were sleeping, she should be resting. With her feet up. And you should bring her a glass of water to drink while she watches you fold the laundry.

Lowa said...

Must be a guy thing. Every one of my sons AND my husband do this same thing. AND they are all crusty from sweat. Sweat goes THROUGH, you know?? So the outside, non-fuzzy part also gets moist and stinky.

Your Mom is great! I love her comments:)

You COULD do what I do- Don't wear socks at all. They are silly and hot and just WRONG. ICKY.

Kari said...

OMG Ian does the same shit! And has the same excuse. I HATE that! I'm with Lauren, turn your own damn socks right side out before you put them in the laundry bin!!!!

ieatcrayonz said...

...or just don't wear socks at all. There are ways around these tiffs with the women. When she smells your feet after a day without socks, she will beg you and your inside-out socks back again.

Andrea said...

Lauren, just fold them inside out and let HIM turn them rightside out when he puts them on! ;)

Kami said...

My husband does the same thing. Just tell Lauren that I don't turn them back out. I roll them inside out. He can fix them before he puts them back on. Just sayin'. I didn't take them off all jacked off, so I'm not fixing them.

Gawd, it felt good to get that out.

Thank you, P and B household.

Character Builder said...

I am the sister that Sharkey spoke of. I feel I've done my future daughter and sons-in-law a favor by teaching my kids young how to remove socks properly. I used to turn my husband's socks right-side-out as I was folding, but I got sick of it, so I stopped. I just fold them inside out, and let him deal with it when he puts them back on. Occasionally, I still come across an inside-out sock, but not nearly as often as I used to! :) I like TBG's idea of wearing them inside-out so that when you take them off, they're right-side-out! Clever!

Anonymous said...

1. Start wearing hose.
2. Rinse them out each night and hang them over the shower rod.

She'll change her tune. Possibly.

eclectic said...

That's what we do, just fold them however they show up outta the dryer, and if the kids want to wear them right-side-out, they have to take care of it themselves. And once the older two started having to fold, they've been amazingly cooperative!

Anonymous said...

I hope Wyatt doesn't feel slighted...when are you going to update your nutritional facts to show that you have 2 kids? Just wondering...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, on behalf of all wives, that really pisses us off. But my husband has one better. He not only pulls them off inside out but doesn't follow through, so they are BALLS of socks. BALLS of socks don't dry thoroughly. BALLS of socks don't get fully clean. BALLS of socks piss me off. Plus being inside out and I'm ready to kill someone.

Anonymous said...

HEE HEE that last comment said balls.... Lauren is a rock em SOCK em robot.

Anonymous said...

Actually, though, your theory makes a good point. Maybe I should start putting my socks in the wash inside out.

Melanie said...

We have the same problem here but it's the reverse. I am the one who takes my socks off like that. And the hubs is the official sock folder. I decided that since I had to do the kids laundry he could do the socks since they were mostly his.

He just folds them inside out so that I have to do it myself when I put them on:)

MrsDoF said...

At our house, my DoF wears the socks right side out for awhile, then fuzzy side for awhile. Whatever way they come from the laundry, he deals with it.
At least they are not in BALLs when they are tossed down the chute, like Samanatha Jo described. Them's fightin' words.

In the movie FINDING FORRESTER, Sean Connery gets a delivery of new socks. The first thing he does is turn them inside out and put them on.
The teenage kid gets all critical about it. The old guy explains about the seams are 'wrong', so inside out is more comfortable.
The movie doesn't say who does his laundry.

Unknown said...

Hmm. Not turning your socks the right way after taking them off your feet must be a 'guy thing'. Tell me, William -- do you ball them up and throw them at the Lauren/Maxfield/any other living target as well, or is that just Hubby? :)

Just Jan said...

I hate messing with the laundry and if ANYTHING is inside out it just stays that way while being folded!! If whoever owns it doesn't like it inside out then they can learn to take it off right before tossing in the laundry hamper!! This includes shirts, pants, socks..etc. (just adding my 2 cents and liking the vent...lol)

Anonymous said...

Bill - just read your blog for the first time at your Mom's house! I know - why is it the first time? I'll have to save this as my favorite at home. I'm with Lauren all the way on this one too. I can't stand doing the whites period. What's only worse than whites is the white socks! Lauren - my advice - don't mate them - just put them in a basket and let Bill pick out a matched set himself!

Dollymama said...

If I was her I'd just match up your socks inside out and let you do the switching when you get ready to wear them.