I talk on the phone with my brothers and sister all the time. At some point during these conversations they freely give out advice and tips and little nuggets of wisdom which I try to remember and write down. 9 out of 10 times, I forget. Some of the words of wisdom are classic and deserve to be put down here.
I was speaking with John the other day when he offered this advice.
"Bill, why do you got to write all that mushy, lovey dovey crap on your blog. Knock it off. Yeah, I know it was your anniversary and all and you were just being romantic, but do you know what being romantic leads to? Sex. And do you know what sex leads to? More Kids. You don't want to have any more kids. Believe me."
And this one,I know I heard before, but coming from John made it funny to me. He called me on the phone and this is the conversation.
Bill: Yo. What's going on?
John: Nothing. What are you doing?
Bill: I am babysitting. Lauren went to the store so I have Max and Wyatt.
John: Yeah? Listen you smacked ass. It is NOT called babysitting if it is your own kids.
I know the first one may be too long to put into a fortune cookie but I know the second one will fit.