Thursday, June 15, 2006

Wyatt's Arrival (part 2)

Read Part I here.

Lauren was doing great in the Brand New delivery room designed just for mothers giving birth and I sat in the corner playing Play Station Portable* Tiger Woods golf. Dr. Bart came in and broke Lauren’s water at 5:54 pm. I know the exact times of these things because I was typing them into my Blackberry as they happened for blogging sake. Our nurse was a quiet but confident girl named Michele who asked Lauren to pee in the hat. Which is a medical term for peeing into a plastic bowl that is inserted into the toilet bowl. Both Lauren and I found this pee in the hat phrase funny. Every time Lauren got up she had to take the gown she was offered which was filled with holes and cover herself. New Hospital, same old hospital gowns.

I was at 6 under with 8 holes to go at Pebble Beach on the Play Station Portable.

There was a shift change at 7 pm and a room change at 7:10 pm. You see the bed that Lauren was in did not work properly. She had to hop down from it. The automatic lifter thing was broken. There was no way the doctor would be able to deliver a baby with this bed, so we had to switch rooms. Brand New Hospital, refurbished beds.

For those keeping score I eagled the 13th hole.

In the new room things started to progress. Lauren got an epidural from a guy with shaky hands who missed on the first attempt. Apparently it is very painful when an "epiduralist" misses. He got it right on the second try. We had not seen the doctor since he broke the water and I suggested we get him to check on Lauren. I guesstimated that she was at 8 centimeters. Lauren said to me, “Are you ever going to put that thing down?" Referring to the play station. I turned it off.

I was 9 under par.

When the doctor did come in to check he confirmed the 8 centimeters. I was all "Did I tell you 8 centimeters?' Can I guess this stuff or what?" And I walked around the room like I was the champion. That was at about 8:30.

As Dr. Bart was leaving he said, “You will be ready in no time. You be a good girl and wait for me. I have to do a C-section. I will be back. We’ll get this going in time.”

I was shocked. Lauren’s mouth dropped. “What? Why? Is there something wrong?”

Dr. Bart turned to us, “No. everything is great.”

Lauren said, “You just said I need a C-section.”

Dr. Bart never realizing how he sounded said, “No you don’t. I have to go perform a C- section on someone else. Not you.”

Lauren and I were relieved.

We were chitchatting with our new nurse about the staff and what not when Lauren started to have worse contractions. It was getting close to delivery time.



* Earlier in the day every time Lauren winced from a contraction I would say “You okay?” Finally she said to me “Bill, Please stop asking if I am okay. I am fine. You keep asking and it isn’t helping.” I decided I would be of better help to Lauren if I were distracted while she was going through the early stages of labor so I brought my PlayStation Portable to keep me occupied.

30 comments:

mary said...

Portable Playstation in the Delivery room???? I can't let Casey read this! It was bad enough having college football bowl games on constantly when I was in the hospital having Brenna (a nurse actually made a comment at one point), but playstation? No way! I would have sent him home rather than let him play playsation while I labored! Lauren is a MUCH better wife than I am!
And missing on the epidural attempt? Oh my GOSH! Poor Lauren! That's a nightmare!

Andrea said...

Poor husbands in hospitals never seem to know what to do. You pay attention to her (ask if she's doing ok), she says cut it out. You ignore her and play with the Playstation, she says CUT IT OUT!

What she probably actually wanted you to do? Just sit there, ready if she needed you :) Impossible, I know, but having done this twice already (albeit at home), I know these things.

Suzanne said...

I need to get my hubby one of those! Can't wait for Part 3!!!

Jewl said...

My husband owns a PPS as well... I am not as nice as Lauren... If my husband brought that thing to the delievery room he would eventually have to give birth to it as well.

Sharpie said...

I'm with JEWL - I would have killed my husband. Seriously.

teri said...

I'm with you on the playstation Bill, I was with my sister when she gave birth to my nephew and GAWD, how boring. Sorry moms, but she was in labor FOREVER and for the people who are waiting it seems like 10 years have gone by very slowwwwwllllyyyy..........

ieatcrayonz said...

This sounds so "Leave it to Beaver" where the Dad is playing golf while Mom is in labor. Of course, yours is the 21st century version.

My husband and father played cards with me over my belly. It was very family reunion-ish and relaxing.

Fourteen hours and 6 cm later, I got that C-Section.

Circus Kelli said...

LOL... Can't wait for part 3!

Anonymous said...

After her epidural my wife crocheted through transition. I was on my own for entertainment. I don't think she would have minded me playing a PPS - except that she probably would have appropriated it for herself.

Effie said...

that doc deserved a smack for a comment like that--scaring the both of you!

Let me tell you one thing--there will be no playstation in the delivery room here!

Stacie said...

Bill, your heart was in the right place to keep yourself distracted and not irritate Lauren during labor, but I have a feeling you are not going to win this one! Stacie

Kami said...

You are killing me.

GET ON WITH IT, MAN!!!

And I'm assuming you were at APH? That's where I had my kid!!!

stepblog said...

I don't see why everyone is all up on William about the PPS. It seems okay. It didn't prevent him from accurately estimating the dilation, did it, huh? And, he turned it off when asked.

I'd like to punch the epiduralist in the nose for hurting Lauren.

Orion_skie said...

Bringing something to keep you occupied...it works for me.

Random and Odd said...

awww. baby.

just susie said...

If that blackberry wasn't bad enough... Next time around I cannot let Dan know to bring his PSP - he might miss everything.

Anonymous said...

Was the epiduralist an ex kicker from Buffalo?

Anonymous said...

An eagle on 13 ! That is a tough hole.

Sue said...

Congratulations! 9 under par.

Anonymous said...

Nothing worse than a skaky handed guy with a needle in his hand.

Anonymous said...

"You be a good girl and wait for me?"

Anonymous said...

"Don't pee in my hat and tell me it's raining"

Lowa said...

I must have missed something on the C-section comment. I totally understood what he meant and when you and Lauren panicked, I was like "HUH!?!?" Then I re-read it and could see how maybe you guys thought me meant you.

Epidurals suck. HATE THEM. Out of four induced labours, I only got one of those ONE TIME and that was it for me. It was HORRIBLE.

Be a good girl and wait for me! LOL Reminds me of my third child. I went from 5 cms to 10 in about 3 minutes. I was pushing, hubby was freaking. The flippin' nurse stuck her hand in there and held my son in there for FIFTEEN MINUTES while the doctor got ready. I was NOT HAPPY.

I bet Lauren did something similar, eh?? I can DYING TO FIND OUT!! AAAAAAA!!!!!

kalki said...

I love the Playstation play-by-play juxtaposed with the labor updates. Your storytelling just gets better and better, William.

kimmyk said...

anxiously awaiting part 3.

Mainline Mom said...

Way to keep us in suspense.

Andrea said...

Yes, part 3 please! We realize you have a new baby that you're probably in the process of getting home, if not already, and then you have to wait hand and foot on Lauren, but PRIORITIES PLEASE! ;) We want to know how it ends!

Kami said...

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

eclectic said...

Happy Father's Day, William!!!! I wish you sleep, like, more than 3 hours at one time.

CroutonBoy said...

Wow, I suck for not swinging by sooner and offering my congratulations! That's awesome news. I mean I can never get to 9 under par...

Seriously, my best to the whole family.