Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The Belt

I originally posted this on the Blogfathers last week. I did not post anything on Father's Day for my dad due to Wyatt's arrival. Happy Father's Day Dad.

My father was the disciplinarian in our household when I was a kid. Sure my Mom would occasionally ground us, or wash our mouths out with soap but the penalties for the major infractions to the family rules were left up to my father to dish out. The worst punishment to get, besides the “I’m disappointed in you” speech and look, was the Belt. The Belt was an important tool when disciplining 9 kids.

I can only remember being punished with the Belt twice. One time, when I was about 8, I told my brother to “suck my *#$@”. I was 8 and I did not know what the phrase meant, but I did know it was an insult. After the three cracks of the Belt on my ass I knew that I would not say it again.

The other time that I was on the receiving end of the Belt was when the entire family, all 9 of us, were going to be punished for not eating our dinner. You see my Mom cooked dinner every night for 11 people. She tried real hard to make meals that were healthy and that we would all like, or at least eat, and that were within the food expense for the week. One time she decided she was going to be creative and make us a Chinese meal. Chicken Chow Mein I believe it was.

None of us would eat it. It tasted awful. My mom is a good cook but for some reason this recipe did not pan out. My 7 brothers, my sister and I sat at the dinner table for an hour without anyone touching their meal. We complained the entire time about how disgusting it was. It was gross. I think at one point one of my brothers threw the contents of their plate on the floor. When this happened my mother said to my dad, “I want them all punished.” She then placed her head in her hands and yelled at us to “go to your rooms.”

There were 5 bedrooms upstairs. My sister had her own room and all of the boys shared a room with another brother, 2 to a room. My room was in the middle of the 5. I heard my dad climbing the stairs snapping the Belt. I could hear him enter the first room. There was a pause. Then I heard the crack of the belt against their backsides. –Crack- “Ow” –Crack- “Ouch”, -Crack- “Owww!” –Crack- “Ooh!” The first two brothers got theirs.

My father entered the second room, the one right next to mine where the LawnWhisperer shared a room with Dan. I could hear him say something but it was muffled. There was a pause.

-Crack- “Ouch. Dad?” –Crack- Ow!”

-Crack- “OOOH.” , -Crack- “Arrrh.”

That was two more brothers were punished. It was my turn next. I sat on my bed as far away from the door as possible thinking that that would save me. The bedroom door flew open. I could tell from the look on my father’s face that he was not happy. He started to speak in a low, barely audible voice.

“Okay guys,” he whispered. “I want you to hold up your pillows. When I hit them with the Belt you scream like it hurts. Do you got that?”

My brother and I exchanged glances of disbelief. We were shocked and could not quite understand what was going on.

“I said, hold up your pillows. Do you got that?” He repeated as he nodded his head.

My brother and I shook our heads and held our pillows up. –Crack- went the Belt across the pillow. “Ouch” my brother yelled through a smile. –Crack- “OW!”- Crack- the belt popped against my pillow. “OOW!” I yelped. –Crack- “Aww Ouch.” I hollered.

My dad turned to leave the room, he turned back and said “I didn’t like dinner either, don’t tell your mother.” And he left.

28 comments:

jd said...

That's a great story! Was your sister exempt from the belt punishment?

Annie said...

I remember a time or two like that. How great to have Dad on your side!

And Happy Father's Day to you too, Bill!

Andrea said...

That is hilarious! Did your mom ever know "The Rest of the Story" (before now)? :)

OddMix said...

Great storry. How long before your mom learned what had happened?

ieatcrayonz said...

Thank God for great parents.

Peter said...

Your Dad was/is AWESOME!

Nicole said...

My only experience like that was when my parents found part of a condom wrapper on the living room floor. My mom was ticked and was scolding me for doing things like that in her house. My dad was upstairs shaving and said, "Well, at least someone in this house is getting some."

TBG said...

That story was great very similar to my uncle "taking the Belt" to my brother and cousin when they spilled paint on the white living room carpet. He hit the wall in the garage and the boys yelped! HA

kimmyk said...

OMGosh what a great story!

Did your mom ever find out? If not, she did now. LOL!

No Dramas said...

Oh how funny, that reminds me of the times when on road trips with Dad he let us listen to the "tamer" rude songs with swear words and we were even allowed to say the swear words with a "Dont tell your Mother"
Found out years later she knew :)

eclectic said...

Priceless!

Rob said...

My Dad's Belt was a wide, thick 1970's vintage model. After my fisrt encounter with The Belt, the mere mention of its potential use was enough to convinve me to behave.

Great story!

s@bd said...

My dad had a plastic spatula.

He never would have gotten away with the pillow at my house - it just doesn't make the right sound.

Circus Kelli said...

That's a great story!

Kami said...

OMG!!!! That is awesome.

LoisLane said...

That was just a great story. Loved it!

Brian said...

My dad used the belt only to threaten us, but that was enough.

My neighbor used to get it with a wooden spoon.

t_cole said...

i love your dad
most excellent story bill

Sharpie said...

AWESOME STORY!! I love it!!

nikkirae said...

LOL... Smart Dad. I hope the Mom didn't find out.

-n

Effie said...

my hubby's dad used to go and get the tomato/garden stakes out...and my mom said Grandpa had her pick her very own willow switch...

Cat said...

I [heart] your daddy.

That is all.

Daren said...

Oh my God, that was a great story!

Anonymous said...

The belt ! I remember the black one that had two of the metal tings that go through the holes. It was a double wide. I can remember the smell and the sound.
We have a great Dad.

maggie said...

no ofense but chinese food is only good when chinese poeple make it.
i wouldnt have eaten it either.

kalki said...

GREAT story! Your dad rocks.

DollyMama said...

I love it! A man who knows how to dole out justice!

Anonymous said...

Great story. Your dad knew how to play the game!