Read Part I here.
Lauren was doing great in the Brand New delivery room designed just for mothers giving birth and I sat in the corner playing Play Station Portable* Tiger Woods golf. Dr. Bart came in and broke Lauren’s water at 5:54 pm. I know the exact times of these things because I was typing them into my Blackberry as they happened for blogging sake. Our nurse was a quiet but confident girl named Michele who asked Lauren to pee in the hat. Which is a medical term for peeing into a plastic bowl that is inserted into the toilet bowl. Both Lauren and I found this pee in the hat phrase funny. Every time Lauren got up she had to take the gown she was offered which was filled with holes and cover herself. New Hospital, same old hospital gowns.
I was at 6 under with 8 holes to go at Pebble Beach on the Play Station Portable.
There was a shift change at 7 pm and a room change at 7:10 pm. You see the bed that Lauren was in did not work properly. She had to hop down from it. The automatic lifter thing was broken. There was no way the doctor would be able to deliver a baby with this bed, so we had to switch rooms. Brand New Hospital, refurbished beds.
For those keeping score I eagled the 13th hole.
In the new room things started to progress. Lauren got an epidural from a guy with shaky hands who missed on the first attempt. Apparently it is very painful when an "epiduralist" misses. He got it right on the second try. We had not seen the doctor since he broke the water and I suggested we get him to check on Lauren. I guesstimated that she was at 8 centimeters. Lauren said to me, “Are you ever going to put that thing down?" Referring to the play station. I turned it off.
I was 9 under par.
When the doctor did come in to check he confirmed the 8 centimeters. I was all "Did I tell you 8 centimeters?' Can I guess this stuff or what?" And I walked around the room like I was the champion. That was at about 8:30.
As Dr. Bart was leaving he said, “You will be ready in no time. You be a good girl and wait for me. I have to do a C-section. I will be back. We’ll get this going in time.”
I was shocked. Lauren’s mouth dropped. “What? Why? Is there something wrong?”
Dr. Bart turned to us, “No. everything is great.”
Lauren said, “You just said I need a C-section.”
Dr. Bart never realizing how he sounded said, “No you don’t. I have to go perform a C- section on someone else. Not you.”
Lauren and I were relieved.
We were chitchatting with our new nurse about the staff and what not when Lauren started to have worse contractions. It was getting close to delivery time.
* Earlier in the day every time Lauren winced from a contraction I would say “You okay?” Finally she said to me “Bill, Please stop asking if I am okay. I am fine. You keep asking and it isn’t helping.” I decided I would be of better help to Lauren if I were distracted while she was going through the early stages of labor so I brought my PlayStation Portable to keep me occupied.