Pool Party

This past Saturday we attended two birthday parties for some neighborhood kids. Both parties involved cake, presents, lots of kids and the worst part, swimming of some sort. Now I like cake and presents and such but the swimming part was difficult for me. I had a decision to make. I am a vain man, but I also realize that most of my vanity is in my own head. So the decision was do I take off my shirt to go swimming or do I leave it on.

By taking off my shirt I would reveal to people, that I hardly know, my pasty white, somewhat overweight, partially gray hairy body. By not taking off my shirt, I look like the guy who is embarrassed by said body and when I would get out of the pool the t-shirt would stick to all the flabby areas of my midsection. The worst part about it, whether I wore a shirt or not, my hair would get messed up. I am very vain about my hair.

At the first party Max wanted to go into the pool right away. So I sucked in my gut and took off my shirt and we went swimming. After a few minutes Max went over to the baby pool and I sat on the side letting the sun dry me off. I felt very awkward being introduced to people for the first time with messy hair and no shirt. I am glad most of them were wearing sunglasses because I am sure that their eyes would have revealed their shock and horror to amount of water pouring out of my belly button as I stood up to shake their hands.