Hero

Maxfield is at the age where he is discovering superheroes. As a recovering comic book addict/geek I could not be happier. If there were a topic, that I know a ton of information about, which I can pass down to my kids, it would be superheroes. I can’t wait to show him my wedding video and pictures.

Before his discovery of Spiderman, Superman and the Justice League, when I got home from work, he and I and Wyatt would wrestle, or play trains, or wrestle, or play trains, or wrestle. Now, when I come home Max’s first choice is to play Superheroes.

Max will tell me who he is, such as the Hulk or Spiderman and then I would have to tell him who I was going to be. Sometimes I am tired and I try to convince him that I am Nap-Man, or the Couch-inator, or Captain Lay on the Floor. He doesn’t fall for it and he assigns me my character.

Most times I am the bad guy like Doc Oc or the Joker. In my head, I am upset, because for my entire life I always wanted to be the superhero, but I play along and I let him tie me up with imaginary ropes as he throws laser beams at me.

Last night, Max decided that there would be a “pretend” villain and that he and I would be the heroes. He elected to be Robin and I could be “the guy that helps Robin”. As we played Wyatt Blue came into the room crying that Lauren refused him a snack before dinner. Max, in full superhero mode, ran up to Wyatt and asked if he was okay and told him not to worry because we were superheroes. Wyatt cried a bit more.

Max turned to me, and this is a moment that I hope I will not forget, and said, “What should we do, Batman?”

And for the next 20 minutes I WAS Batman.

Code Snuffleupagus

Sesame Place is a Sesame Street theme park located about 30 minutes from where I live. I have never been there nor do I know any one who has ever worked there.

This morning a guy I work with was telling me story about a friend of his who worked at Sesame Place.

To prevent alerting or alarming their patrons and guests to various situations at the park, the staff used code words over their Walkie-Talkies or over the intercom. Hence the whole "code" part of code words.

But these were the codes.

Code Elmo= Someone was bleeding and needed first aid.

Code Oscar= Someone vomitted and it need to be cleaned up.

Code Big Bird= Someone peed and it needed to be cleaned up.

These codes all make sense to me. I can visualize the use of the codes. The color of the character cooresponds to the type of situations.

Elmo/Blood.

Oscar/Puke.

Big Bird/Urine

Makes sense.

The guy at work told me that on the last day his friend worked at Sesame Place, they had a CODE SNUFFLEUPAGUS in the kiddy pool.

My guess is that it was like the Baby Ruth scene in Caddy Shack.

What keeps me up at night

There is nothing like a good snack. I have my favorites like Dorito’s and Cheetohs and occasionally I will dabble with other brands but I always take a critical approach to the different types of snacks and end up going back to my two favorites.

One of my previous snacks of choice used to be Pringles. How can you not like them? They have Wheat Starch and Malodextrin and Monosodium Glutamate and Disodium Phosphate. They come packed and stacked in a large can so they do not break. One can usually cost’s about a buck. Perfect snack.

However, there is a serious flaw with the Pringle chip. The design, or shape of the chip makes it perfect for stacking but it also makes for perfect fit over the tongue. I think this is genius.
However when they make the actual chip, the fine folks at Pringle add the flavoring to the wrong side of the chip. The salt, or the cheese flavor, or the pizza flavor, basically the stuff that gives the chip pizzazz is on the other side of the chip, the side that does not perfectly fit over the tongue. This makes no sense to me.

If I buy a flavored chip I want to be able to taste the flavor right from the get go. Why does Pringles put most of the salty goodness on the side of the chip that naturally fits against the roof of the mouth?

I know that Pringles does not really care about my measly opinion but if they added the flavoring to the tongue side of the chip they actually may move up from # 6 on my list of favorite snacks to # 2 or #3.

Turn On

She* purred as she wound down.

Satisfied, Lauren smiled.

With two kids it is not often that we get to have these moments. But both children were napping.

Lauren was afraid I would be too loud and wake the kids up. But I convinced her otherwise.

Normally when I have these moments, I do it too quick and I am satisfied. Lauren, however, is not.

But this time, I did it nice and slow. I started slowly. Nice long motions.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

I made sure I reached every spot. I took my time. Some times I got carried away and I moved too fast but then I would realize that I needed to finish the job and I would get back into a slow steady rhythm.

It became like a dance.

The more** I moved the better I did.

When I was finished, she* purred as she wound down.

Satisfied, Lauren smiled that the whole house was vacuumed.

*The Vacuum Cleaner
** Furniture

Crush

We received Maxfield's official pre-shcool pictures. He is quite handsome. We also found out that Max has a crush on someone in his school. Look at the picture, can you guess who it is?

Tip

This is just an FYI to anyone who may not know the difference, which I did not think was that big of a deal, but...well see the pictures.

The clothes hanger on the top of the picture is a pants hanger. The clothes hanger on the bottom is a shirt hanger. The two should not be confused.

Apparently, THIS is not how one should hang shirts.

Childs Intuition

When I leave for work in the morning, Maxfield usually asks me not to go. He'll say things like "read me a book" or "stay and watch TV with me" or "wrestle with me."

My response for the most part is "when I get home" or "Mommy can do that with you" and the exchange lasts 30 seconds and I leave the house without incident.

Over the past 6 weeks Maxfield has sensed there is something "wrong" in our house. I think he can feel the stress that both Lauren and I have been feeling. Since December 2 Lauren and I have been tag team parenting. One of us would walk in the door and the other would walk out the door to go to the hospital or to get shopping done or to handle other family obligations. The stress that Max feels has been manifesting itself in more temper tantrums and more "accidents" of wetting himself. Now that our house has settled down somewhat, he is doing much better.

Two weeks ago, I was leaving for work and Max asked me not to go. He begged me to stay. I gave him my usual answers but they were not good enough.

"Daddy, I don't want you to go. Stay with me. Please."

"I can't pal."

He put his arms around my neck. "Daddy. Please stay and play with me."

As I hugged him I sat on the couch with him and I rocked back and forth a bit. I slowly pried his arms from me and I said "I can't Max. I will play when I get home."

Max started to cry. He had never done this before. He was not crying from a tantrum. These were not angry tears. He was crying from sadness.

"But I don't want you to go daddy. I want you to stay with me." He said as he wiped away tears. "Please stay here and take care of me."

"Max I can't." I said as I hugged him.

He hugged me back tight and his requests became more intense. "Daddy, I am going to miss you. Please stay with me. Don't go. I need you."

"I gotta go Max."

"I want you stay, Daddy. I will miss you."

This exchange lasted 5 to 10 minutes.

Looking back, I realize that Max sensed something, I don't know what, but something. Because a few hours later I was using Max's words and saying the exact same thing.

Now with a Herpes free kitchen

We started renovating our kitchen back before Thanksgiving. Work in progress story is here.

Time was not our side with various and many trips to the hospital to visit with our fathers, Ray and Skip.

Lauren was determined to have the kitchen finished by Christmas since we were hosting her family for dinner.


The day of Ray's Funeral, the Friday before Christmas, Lauren and I were talking to her uncle and cousin about how much work was needed on the kitchen. The kitchen was only half done and Lauren wanted it to be finished that weekend.

I tired to talk Lauren out of completing it because we had so many other things to do before the holiday.

"Bill, the backsplash is not up and there are so many little things we need to do." Lauren insisted.

"I think our guests will understand with all the circumstances we have faced lately." I said and looked to her uncle and cousin, both who I have only met a few times, for confirmation.

"I just want it done." Lauren said.

"Well, I think they will understand." I said. "It's not like we can't have people over. I mean, it's not like our kitchen has Herpes."

Then I got puzzled looks from everyone and that is where the conversation ended.

The kitchen was 95 % completed by Christmas dinner.

Before.
In the questionable condition, yet without herpes.

95% complete.

Still only 95% complete.

Truth Hurts

"Lauren, would you still find me attractive if I was bald?"

"Why?"*

"It's just that over the past few weeks, when I take a shower, I have been noticing a lot of hair in the drain catcher thing."

"Really?"

"I think I am losing my hair and you know how vain I am about my hair."

"It is probably just a combination of body hair and a little from you head."

"No. I think it is pretty much all from my head."

"Really? Darn!"

"Why? You won't find me attractrive as a bald man?"

"I just know that you could stand to lose a little hair from your back, is all."**



*Notice she did not answer the question.
** Again, no answer to the question.

Wyatt Determined

A sincere thank you to everyone for your well wishes, thoughts and prayers.

Skip

1 person called him husband.
1 daughter called him dad.
8 sons called him dad.
22 children called him Pa (Grand Pa).
9 people called him Father-in Law.
7 people called him Brother.
28 people called him Brother-in-law.
10 people considered him GodFather.
44 people called him Uncle and to another 30 plus he was Great Uncle.
7 or so people called him Business Partner.
Hundreds at one point called him coach.


And to Thousands and Thousands he was a Role Model.

My Dad, Skip, the man who coined the phrase "Poop and Boogies", died on Wednesday.

I could go on and on about him but that is pretty much what Poop and Boogies the blog is about. If you get a chance, go back and look through some post's about him and let me know which is your favorite one. I would list them but I don't have the time. Just do a blogger search.

As much as Poop and Boogies is a tribute/testament (I am not sure of the word) to my Dad, it is also as much as testament to my Mom (MomO9). Because for as much as anyone looked to my Dad to be their rock, their mentor, their Role Model, my Dad looked to my mom to be his.

Over the past week, from the time my dad went into the hospital, I got to witness some incredible acts of kindness, patience, strength, endurance and love from my brothers and sister and my Mom.

I also consider my self lucky and blessed to have been a part of that because there were moments of real sadness but there were also moments of absolute hilarity and laughter that only my siblings and Mom are capable of doing.

I don't think Skip would have wanted it any other way.

A sign someone is Fat (or Lazy)

I was sitting and talking with some of my brothers when one of them started to tie his shoe. My brother Dan watched and said to the one tying his laces, "You're fat."

We all laughed and agreed with Dan but then Dan told us the reasons for his assesment. You see Dan's wife, Rachel, has a theory on shoe laces and people with too much belly. Now this may be a theory that other people know but it was the first time I ever heard of it and I thought it was hysterical.

The theory is this. People who are fat in the gut area lift their legs up and cross them over their knee to tie their shoes. This causes the knot, to be tied closer to the inside of the foot.

Most people who are in shape, bend over to tie their shoes and so the knot is in the center of the shoe. See the pictures for examples.


In this picture the shoe on the left is knotted in the center. That indicates a thin person. The shoe on the right was tied by lifting the leg onto the knee. This is how people with big guts tie their shoes.

Closer look of the knot tied closer to the inside of the foot.

The above picture demonstrates the fat lazy way of tying shoes.

Now today, while you walk around your office or home, look at your co-worker's or husband's or wife's shoes, or just observe people on the street, take notice of how they tie their shoes and remember Rachel's Theory of the Gut Knot.

Me, I will be out buying loafers.