Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Pooh

Wyatt has graduated to a size 4 diaper (yeah, he is huge). No matter what brand of diaper you buy, when you get the next size, you get a new character, Mickey, Tigger, Simba etc., on the front and back of the diaper. Whenever I change diapers I always use the character as the center point. I line it up, so it is front and center to make sure all the kid’s parts are covered the right way.

Last night I was changing Wyatt's diaper before bedtime and I was using the new diapers. Wyatt would not stop squirming and he was making it difficult for me to align the sticky/velcro tabs the right way. At first the left tab (his right) was too far away from the center. I knew this because the right tab (his left) was clearly two thirds of the way across the character Winnie the Pooh's head and the left tab (his right) was not even close to it.

I pulled the tabs off and started again. Wyatt was squirming away and I could not keep him still. I fastened the tabs and looked at him and the same thing happened. The diaper was off center and did not appear to be fitting him the right way. I pulled the tabs off and tried again. I realigned the diaper so it was center on his butt and held Wyatt down with my elbow. No luck. Now the right tab (his left) was totally crossing to the other side of Pooh's head and the left tab (his right) wasn't even near the center of the diaper.

I tried again but with Wyatt moving so much I could not get the diaper or the tabs centered across the front of the diaper. And everyone knows that if the diaper is not on the baby properly, there is going to be leaks.

I tried and tried and really started to get frustrated. I was cursing Wyatt, under my breath, for moving so much. I pulled and pulled on the tabs and applied them and then pulled them off the front of the diaper so many times that the sticky/velcro was losing its sticky/velcro-y-ness.

I was about to give up and ask Lauren for help when I lifted the diaper up to inspect it. The diaper's character was not centered on the front of the diaper. Pooh's head was made to look like he was peering in from the right (Wyatt's left). So his head was not centered on the diaper. That was the problem.

I felt better. I realized I was not an idiot. But then I started to get a little miffed. Why in the hell would the makers of this diaper NOT put the character center on the diaper? Don't they realize that there are fathers out there that use that character as the center point when they are changing diapers? I looked at the diaper again, and I realized something else; the way Pooh is peering out, it's as if he is slipping out from the right side of the diaper by Wyatt's left leg.

Just what I need more pooh slipping out of diapers.

20 comments:

Sharpie said...

LOL! Wow! It has been A LONG time since I change a diaper - but I think I used the characters (at first) as guides as well. Then after about 105 - its by feel.

Worse still are the pull-ups - they NEVER seem to fit any size keister.....

Circus Kelli said...

Buddy was such a squirmer, we put him in pullups earlier just because they were easier to get on him.

Kevino said...

I am right with you. The characters are absolutely necessary, for a proper fitting diaper. I needed them for my son, and now my daughter is the swirmiest worm ever. I would have to change diaper brands to one with the character in the center.

SciFi Dad said...

I use the hip bones and make sure that there is equal diaper on each side, then I center the flaps on her navel.

Just a thought.

Michelle said...

I taught SS Dad to use the belly button as a guide. It's generally in the center of the child's body.

Then again, if you use pampers, the characters are centered and you don't have to worry about it.

And, my goodness - size 4? He's going to either be a linebacker or a hockey defenseman.

Oh, The Joys said...

Ba dum CHA!

Susie said...

"I realized I was not an idiot."

Um . . . .PWAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAA!

ThePapaDog said...

My son has been a size 4 since 10 months and he is a wicked squirmer too. Thats why we have a bucket full of objects to throw at him so he will hopefully be still for 5 seconds.

Right now he loves the empty vasoline bottle.

Anonymous said...

If u want things centered....I am guessing that u are mathematically inclined.

susie said...

Um dude? Try to relax when changing the diapers. Cause really? It's going to be ok.

furiousBall said...

Found your blog from PapaDog's blogroll...

Two words for you to make the diaper changing easier and faster...staple gun

i'm joking, i swear

Sandy said...

hahahahaaaaa...after my 3rd baby, they were lucky if I got both cheeks covered..man, I am one tired mama...

Effie said...

i'm attempting cloth diapers...no characters on them, just colours..but the backup disposables have garfield and odie on them...

kalki said...

Love the last sentence - perfect. And I really wish Lauren would sneak around videoing these things.

momo9 said...

William, you are too anal! Just attach the diaper, will ya! Who cares if Pooh isn't centered. I don't! and I'm the child's grandmother. As long as the diaper is on, it will absorb. Wyatt doesn't care! You are impossible. Don't sweat the small stuff!

nobody you know said...

I'm so old there were NO pictures on my kids' diapers, they were cloth and they leaked. We used rubber/plastic pants on top...they leaked. Outside of jamming each kid into a sleeping bag for the duration of his non-potty trained life, there were always gonna be leaks. We got by.

I got to your last line and cracked up big time! I was so into the "centering" thing, it came as a refreshing surprise! It was all a set-up for the last line, wasn't it??!!! Good job!

Mainline Mom said...

Ditto was Susie said :)

soozieq said...

As an Aunt who only has the Little One once a month, I can so relate. My Niece is also a size 4 (but she's 18 months old! ;-) just switched the chartacter on me too. Although I think hers are Elmo or something like that. So far the characters have been where they needed to be for me and we've had no "pooh" escapes.

Andrea said...

My (admittedly petite) two-year-old wears size 4 diapers.

That is all.

Football Widow said...

Wow. I thought my hubs was the only one that did that. He will fight with diapers forever until he gets it just right. Must be a dad thing :)