Friday, May 12, 2006

Mother's Day past.

This story contains slight embellishement, not much but I need to protect myself from angry emails from siblings.

Finding the perfect Mother’s day gift for my Mom used to be easy. When I was a kid my dad did all the purchasing of the mothers day gifts. Either on the Saturday night before Mother’s Day or on the morning of, he would gather the 9 kids in a room, dump the contents of bag, which had either Sears, Two Guys, or Jefferson Ward printed on it, onto the floor. Falling onto the floor were 9 gifts for my mom. They ranged anywhere from bathrobes to toiletries to cooking utensils and other types of small gifts and always a bottle of Jean Nate.

My dad would walk out of the room and leave my sister Sharon in charge of divvying up the gifts so that each kid had something to give to my mom for Mother’s Day. Sometimes we would fight over who got to give mom what.

“I want to give Mom the hairbrush. I gave her the change purse at Christmas.” Kevin would say.

“John and Bill should give her the small stuff because they are in the middle and we should give her the big stuff first and last.” Sharon would direct.

Dennis would chime in. “Well I want to giver her the socks because they are yellow. And Yellow is the hue of that portion of the visible spectrum lying between orange and green, evoked in the human observer by radiant energy with wavelengths of approximately 570 to 590 nanometers; any of a group of colors of a hue resembling that of ripe lemons and varying in lightness and saturation; one of the subtractive primaries; one of the psychological primary hues….”

Someone would eventually cut Dennis off because he was too longwinded. After much discussion and debate Sharon would tell each of us what we were going to give mom and hand us the item. We would line up, usually youngest to oldest, and proceed to the living room, where my Mom was sitting still in her robe from last year, sipping tea. One by one we would approach her and hand her unwrapped gifts.

She would always act like each gift was the perfect thing.

“Oh Jimmy. What’s this? A new sweatshirt? And it is green which is my favorite color. Thanks. Michael, wow you got me new Sunglasses. I love them. Thank you Patrick for the wonderful manicure set. Oh Billy. A new Spatula. How wonderful. I really need this. Thank you so much……. Umm. What’s your name? John. Right. Sorry honey it is still early. Thank you for this quart of motor oil. That is lovely and it is Pennzoil. Oh Daniel. Jean Nate. I love it. I think I just used up the last of the bottle I got for Christmas. Why does this bottle have some missing. Did you drink some of it?”

And this would go on until all of the gifts were sitting in front of her either on the coffee table or on the floor. As the kids went about getting ready for church we each one by one, would ask my mom what gift she liked best. Her answer was always the same.

“ I love them all for different reasons. I can’t pick out a favorite.”

I know it was always whatever Jimmy, the youngest, gave her.

Happy Mother’s Day Mom. I love you.

22 comments:

jd said...

"whatever Jimmy . . . gave her" - That's great, Bill. You're so funny! Sounds like something I would say. Happy Birthday to Poop and Boogies Mom!

Lowa said...

What is it with you people thinking the youngest is always the fave?? As a youngest of 4, I can safely say it is NOT TRUE. At least not in my experience. People who learn I am the youngest AND only female assume it must have been. I need to set them straight. My brothers all even agree now that this was not the case.

Sounds fun. I am curious to see what on earth I get this year. My husband takes the kids shopping with him and lets them choose. I once had to wear HUGE GAUDY pink bows dangling from my ears. My three year old daughter chose them. She was so upset when I did not wear them every day. Thankfully, she has since forgotten about them and I hope her taste has improved. She is five now, after all.

ieatcrayonz said...

Because it was the biggest?

I'm surprised that you didn't say that Dennis got out of wrapping his gift for mom because they were stuffed down his throat.

Still, your family rocks.

Greta said...

LMAO...Pennzoil...that is so funny...Your dad rocks by doing that for ya'll....my dad always sends me out to the store...even when i was YOUNG...

Happy Friday

Meegs said...

Lol, very cute.
Oh, and Hi right back at you! :-)

kimmyk said...

Happy Mother's Day to your momma if she's reading!

AND...

Happy Mother's Day Lauren!

eclectic said...

Happy Mom's Day!

stepblog said...

Ah, Sears, Two Guys and Jefferson Ward... the holy trinity. Do you remember that mini bowling alley they had at Two Guys? Am I dreaming that? I learned how to drive stick shift in that parking lot.

Kami said...

Well, I know I'm my mom's favorite.

That is all.

Stacie said...

too funny. My mom always loved Jean Nate` too...Happy Mother's Day to your mom and to Lauren! Stacie

Lowa said...

What is Two Guys??? There is an actual place called that??

I find that odd.

Continuing to be A stranger in a strange land.

Sue said...

Kudos to Dennis who gave it so much thought and yet I know she loved each and every gift just the same! Kudos to your Dad for how much effort he put into each and every holiday. It was not easy for him. I know she loved you all each the same.

TBG said...

Yep the baby is always the favorite!

nikkirae said...

LOL.

You've got the description of being a mother down to a T.

-n

onangelwings said...

Haa....Love it! I was the fave and I was the oldest! Sounds like a wonderful family with wonderful/loving memories.

kalki said...

Even though I've never met her, I have much respect for your mom. What a lady.

judypatooote said...

What a precious story.....

No_Newz said...

Happy mom's day late to your mom and the Mrs. You shocked me again with your dad always getting her a bottle of Jean Nate. My dad did too and he also divvied the gifts, and mine was always my mom's favorite. :P Holla Jimmy!
Lois Lane

Mainline Mom said...

Whew that sounds a lot better than our Mother's Days.

DollyMama said...

i'm screeching with laughter..that is hilarious!

just susie said...

I was just talking with a friend about Jean Nate and how my mother must still be working her way through her supply.

Lori said...

Jefferson Ward!! Holy shit. Now that's a name I haven't thought of in the longest time....