Wednesday, May 03, 2006

She is no Fezzik

Lauren went food shopping last night while I stayed home with Maxfield. Before she left we had this conversation.

Being playful and goofy I said, “Pick me up some stuff that rhymes with Deer and something the rhymes with Mice Beam.”

“You don’t need any beer.”

“I noticed you didn’t say anything about the Mice Beam.”

“Hey, I can’t have any beer.”

If you are not picking up beer get me a snack that rhymes with Leetos”
“You don’t need that.”

“Seriously, I don’t care what you get me as long as it rhymes with Leetos.”
“Anything?”

“Yes. As long as the name of the item rhymes.”

I know this is a silly game but I was challenging her. Now think of a snack item that rhymes with Leetos. There are only two options as far as I am concerned. Off the top of your head think of two snack items that would rhyme with Leetos.

You are saying to yourself "Cheetos or Fritos". Right? I would have been happy with either.

When she returned we were unloaded the groceries and she says, “I didn’t get you beer. I did get ice cream, and I did get you something that rhymes Leetos.”

“Really? What did you get?”

“Tostitos.”

“What?” I was disappointed. “Tostitos does not rhyme.”

“Yes it does.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“There were only a few options. Fritos, Cheetos or Doritos.”

“Doritos does not rhyme but I would have been happy with that. Something that rhymes should have had the same number of syllables.”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“Well it should.”

“Well the next time just come out and tell me what you want.”

She handed me the bag of the store brand corn chips she had bought. Store brand. There was nothing on the package that rhymed with Leetos. She figured out beer and ice cream I woul dhave thought she would have figured out Cheetos. She knows I love me some Cheetos.

28 comments:

Circus Kelli said...

Hee... Cut her some slack, William. At least she got you SOMETHING. She could have gone to the store and come back with ice cream for just her. :)

teri said...

I'm with you, when it comes to snacks, could you please get me something I like without making me feel like I need to be all healthy? I'm sure she got the ice cream for herself as well, so where are your cheetos? I think the men need a little pampering as well when their wives are expecting considering they have to put up with all the mood swings and hormones, etc. and I'm a female saying this.

Kari said...

LMAO. Serves you right!

Effie said...

Like CK said, she GOT you something--stop complaining--isn't she pregnant? Shouldn't you be catering to HER every whim?

Um, just saying....

Ice cream & cheetos don't match anyways...

Woman with kids said...

You're right, she'd never make it as Fezzik. She does sound like a close match to Vizzini though...

Odd Mix said...

Life is pain, William. Anyone who says differently is selling something.

Beer and ice cream match even worse than ice cream and fritos - eeeew, just imagine the float that would make.

The Kept Woman said...

That's what you get for screwing around.

Eat your pretend tostitos and write a list next time...not a MENSA puzzle.

;) (this is exactly the response my husand would have gotten in this situation)

No_Newz said...

LOL! I love your wife! And I love me some Cheetos too. After eating them, that is, when you do actually get some Cheetos, are you a hand washer or a Cheetos cheese finger nibbler?
Lois Lane

metroDad said...

Good thing you didn't send ME to the store, Bill. I would have brought you back a bottle of Jim Beam and the latest issue of Fear Magazine.

I was never good at rhyming.

Greta said...

LMAO

teri said...

I should have put a little smiley face : ) on my post. It didn't sound as light as I wanted it to. Your wife is the best but food should not be messed with :)

Tammy said...

"No more rhymes and I mean it!" "Anybody want a peanut?"

See. Syllables different.

Mich said...

Why is the pregnant lady going to the store to buy the snacks??? Are you that much of a slacker? You are lucky she came home with the ice cream. I would've eaten it in the car on the way home.

And, she's MUCH better looking than Fezzik.

Matthew said...

Mmmm. Cheetos. Now excuse me while I go lick the cheesy film off of my fingers.

Genuine said...

Okay I realize that this is only number 2 child on the way so I'll let you in on a little secret. Us dads we hide the deer and micebeam in the garage. Yeah, and we go out to fix stuff alot.

But you need to buy it yourself! It is always easier to ask for forgiveness than permission. Here endeth the lesson.

Stacie said...

could've been worse...she could've come home with ice cream and pickles...yeah I know pickles doesn't ryhme, but neither do store brand tostitos....

Staice

kalki said...

Well, first of all, that whole same amount of syllables thing is just silly. Tostitos totally rhymes.

That said, girl totally should have bought Cheetos. (I love me some Cheetos too.)

nikkirae said...

Good for her!

*grin*

-n

TBG said...

Now if you would have just asked for what you wanted she would have bought it.

Oh and she works really hard all day she doesnt want to be trying to figure out your puzzles before having to go to the grocery store!

Actually the store brand corn chips are good

Badoozie said...

oh, she had it figured out. she did that on purpose to save you from your own self. the disaster of sodium content, orange dye, and such. so you should be glad for her, protecting you that way.

Peter said...

I was trying to figure out how "mice beam" rhymed with Jim Beam. Shows where my mind is at.
AHHH Alcohol.

Christie said...

lmao

Toady Joe said...

Hooked you up with some Linky Love over at my site. Thanks for the multiple giggles and guffaws. I loves me some Poop & Boogies!

Sharpie said...

As my hubby once said years ago when we were first married.... "My crystal ball is in the shop. So why don't you come right out and TELL me what is that you want instead of me trying to read your mind and we'll all be less disappointed". Yeah, well, what he said.

kristine said...

I love how you can retell stories from your life.
You are very talented.

Every now and again Shaun will come home with this random snack and I squeal, "WHAAATTT? I didn't know you liked those!!!!"

Aunt Jo said...

My hubby admitted to eating Cheetos in milk when he was single.

stepblog said...

Ice cream and beer? Which one of you is pregnant again? 2 points to Lauren for coming up with a unique rhyme (all I could think of were Fritos or Cheetos).

Mainline Mom said...

store brand? oh MAN. Yeah and Doritos and Tostitos do rhyme in my book.